Where are the male expat or third culture kid voices?

Recently I heard that the Families in Global Transition conference in 2018 will be held in the Netherlands again. This is good news because if it is so near to home there is more chance that I will be able to attend. At the 2017 conference we heard that the next conference would be in Asia, which meant attending would be more of a challenge for me. The FIGT conference will be held in the Hague, the Netherlands from the 8th to the 10th of March 2018, mark your calenders and maybe we can meet up there. It will be the 20th anniversary next year so it promises to be a great conference. The theme of the conference is Diverse voices celebrating the past, present, and future of globally mobile lives. If you want to submit a proposal it is due before 15th september 2017. First time conference attendees can apply for a Pollock Scholarship, check this link for more information.

On the FIGT website I saw this: The guiding question when considering the applications is, "Who is missing at the FIGT table?"  They are looking for a diverse field of applicants from each of our traditional sectors, (including corporate, diplomatic, academic, military, mission, arts and entrepreneurial) plus voices not well represented, such as those involved in immigration and refugee work, an increase in male voices, and participants from all parts of the globe.

I noticed that the FIGT organizers want an increase voices not well represented including an increase in male voices. While searching the internet this week I noticed two stories both by (adult) third culture kid males so I do want to share these stories. The first story is by Chris Aslan. Chris was born in Turkey, lived in Lebanon and returned to the UK for schooling. He later lived in Uzbekistan, Tajikistan and Kyrgyzstan. His whole story "Both and Neither: Exploring my Third Culture Kid Identity" can be read here. He writes about feeling in between cultures and not really belonging to either. I like his conclusion. 

"There have been times when I’ve felt a stranger in both cultures, but gradually I’ve learnt to feel at home in both. I’ve discovered that I’m a pretty good bridge that others can use to walk along to have their horizons broadened and to meet people they might not otherwise have met. I’m letting my character and values to be shaped by the best of both cultures. It’s not always as comfortable as being one thing or another, but embracing the concept of ‘both’ is really good, and that’s better than being comfortable."

Marilyn Gardner writes the same in her Thoughts on Entry, Reentry and Third Culture Kids. She says that as third culture kids we should accept that we are a combination of worlds. 

Joshua tells us his own story. He now lives in Suriname but he grew up in many different countries: Egypt, Singapore, and China. He tells about the culture shock he had when he moved to China. He shares what he learnt by growing up abroad. Please listen to his story,  it will take you less than 6 minutes.

Thank you Chris and Joshua for sharing your stories. Will you consider joining us at the Families in Global Transition Conference this March here in the Netherlands? We want to hear more male third culture kid stories. Please let us hear your voices. Come and join us. Do you know male third culture kids or are you one? Let's hear your voice.

Related Posts:

• Cultural identity Confusion
• Interview with Rachel Cason on her research on third culture kids: identity, belonging and relationship to place.
• Interesting post TCK Talent: Where am I from? on the website DisplacedNation.com
• Chris Aslan's website, he is an author and adult third culture kid
• Podcast with Michelle Phoenix on Third Culture Kids - The Forgotten Missionary Kids, and about her new book "Stillness and Storm"

Military Brats, Third Culture Kids: Children of the World?

Thanks goes to my friend Natasja, a third culture kid who sent me this poem. Now I can share it with you. Laura, the author of the poem is a military child, just like Natasja was. The children of military personnel are some times called military brats. It is a recognized term of cultural identity. Military brats fit into the description of third culture kids though there are some unique features of course.

I am amazed that a child of 11 years old can write a poem like this. What struck me too is that she mentions the themes third culture kids struggle with.

What are your thoughts after reading this poem?

More information:

• Militartfamily.org There is a free toolkit there for working with militarykids
• Militarybratlife.com

Research Project on Identity: Looking for (Adult) Third Culture Kids!

I received an email from Jo. She's looking for people who grew up abroad and returned to their passport country for university (like I did) or employment. I am posting her request because I am glad that there are people researching this topic. So whether you were an expat kid, a military brat, a diplomat kid, a missionary kid or maybe even an immigrant kid just respond. If you are the person she is looking for please send her an email! Thanks. Any researchers out there, please just keep the research coming and we're looking forward to hearing your conclusions.

"Third Culture Kids: Experiences of Identity Formation
She's conducting a study of Third Culture Kids (TCKs) returning ‘home’ for university or similar

What is the purpose of the study?
This study will focus on third culture kids (TCKs) who have returned to their parental passport country in the last 8 years to attend university or seek employment. The purpose of the study is to understand the experiences of TCKs returning to this country and look at the resources such as possesions, media, people and activities you have used to help you understand your identity.

Have you lived outside your parental passport country for at least four years?
Returned to you parental passport country for university or employment?
If YES she would like to hear from you
For more information on the study please contact:

Jo Withers: jo.withers2@googlemail.com

The research is being conducted as part of an MSc Psychology course at Oxford Brookes University"

Related topics:

• Third Culture Kids Going to University 
• The Most Difficult Transition for Third Culture Kids 
• Counselors Be Curious About Their Upbringing 

Reporting from EuroTCK in Germany

I am very privileged to be able to attend the Euro TCK conference in Germany at the moment. I will try and share some of the information I am hearing here. I have never been in a place where there are so many people interested in third culture kids and so many workshops about all kinds of topics related to third culture kids. To my delight the main speaker is Ruth van Reken, she is the co-author together with D.Pollock of the book "Third Culture Kids, Growing Up Among Worlds".

This morning Ruth talked about Living with change. One of the things her father always said was "unpack your bags and plant your trees". So make Sure you fully start living in the new place or country you have moved to.

We heard about how we learn about culture.


1. We learn the rules as children.
2. We test the rules as adolescents.
3. We internalize and operate the rules as adults.

As we grow up we learn about culture. Our family, our community and the place we live in serve as mirrors to us. A child form's their own identity by using these mirrors. What happens when children grow up internationally in many different places and countries is that these mirrors keep changing which makes it more complicated to form the own identity.

Once you do know how a culture works it gives us a sense of belonging, identity and confidence. We know how it works!

Ruth mentioned that there are 3 different ways children react when they enter a new culture.

1. The chameleon: tries to find "same as" identity.

Ruth van Reken at Eurotck 2013

2. The screamer: tries to find a "different from" identity.
3. The wallflower: tries to find the "non-identity", to be invisible.

We had a discussion during our session and some adult third culture kids said sometimes they were a chameleon but at other times they really wanted to be different and they acted more as the "screamer".

Tomorrow Ruth van Reken is speaking about growing through change.

Related Posts:
Guestblog an Ode to Third Culture Kids by Casey
I am from ....and where are you from?
An interview with graphic design student Jessica on her third culture kid book project

Book review of the book "Expat Alien" by Kathleen Gamble

I am so happy that there are third culture kids out there writing books and telling us their story. Kathy Gamble not only grew up abroad but also followed suit. She married a Russian American, moved to Moscow and raised their son there. As an expat parent she raised their cross-cultural kid in Russia.

I met Kathy online through her blog Expat Alien. She has written her memoir "Expat Alien, My Global Adventures".

Her parents moved to Burma in the 1950's and that's where Kathy was born. Due to her father's job in Third World agriculture with the Ford Foundation the family moved to Mexico, Colombia and then to Nigeria. At thirteen years of age she goes to boarding school in Switzerland. She likes the school better than the one she attended in Texas for a while. In Switzerland "I felt like I could breathe" she writes. Kathy describes life at boarding school. The food was generally bad and you did not get to choose who you lived with.

While she was at boarding school in Europe she travelled the continent from Venice, Florence in Italy to Paris and London. She learned to ski in St Moritz. Actually wherever she was she travelled. "I used to run into people I knew a lot in airports and museums around the world".

The book gives insight into the life of a third culture kid. Kathy survived a plane crash, an earthquake and a military coup but to her her life was normal. It was only when she moved to California to start college that she discovered that the other girls didn't like her stories of her life abroad. They thought she was bragging or lying. Her first year was very difficult, she suffered from a "reverse" culture shock. I can really identify with this part of the book because my experience was very similar to Kathy's. I went to university in the Netherlands but had a similar experience. Kathy starts to wonder whether there is something wrong with her. During the years in America she never got over the feeling that she was different.

While living in Moscow, in her forties she discovers what global nomads are and that they are also called third culture kids. It was her "aha" moment, this was what she had been looking for. She says that she is not from anywhere. She is a third culture kid, from everywhere and nowhere.

The book is a great read for anyone who grew up globally or parents who are raising third culture kids. If you just enjoy travel and adventure stories then I am sure the book will appeal to you too.

Related Posts:
Interview with author Heidi Sand-Hart of "Home Keeps Moving"
Book review of Expat Teens Talk
New mentoring Program for Expat Teens
Book review of the Globalisation of Love by Wendy Williams

Third Culture Kid: Proud to be Dutch

On Facebook recently a friend of mine, who grew up as a third culture kid too posted this video. She added the text "Proud to be Dutch". I must say I grew up in Africa with the same feeling, I was proud that I came from Holland (or the Netherlands). If you don't know why then you need to see this short film.

Related Posts:
The Top countries to raise kids in 2012
New Mentoring Program for Expat Teens 
Book Review of the Book Expat Teens Talk 
Meet Rebecca an expat raising trilingual kids in the Netherlands

Guest Post By My Sister: Where she's from!

Photo of Pleuntje by Keke Keukelaar  www.3hoog-achter.nl

In September I challenged you to let us know "Where you are from". Guest blogger Lucia Bodeman was the first to share about where she's from. Now it's my honour to introduce my sister Pleuntje. Here's her story:

I am from corncurls and freezies, from Marmite on cheese and Stoney Gingerbeer. 
I am from the cool verandahs, avocado trees and baked, red earth roads.
I am from snorkeling at Cape Maclear, from chlorine in garden pools, the streets of Toronto and bridges of Amsterdam.
I am from birthday breakfasts in bed and Sinterklaas, from Frisian heritage, southern hemispheres and Christmas dinners outside.
I am from the crossing of borders and packing of suitcases, cycling, swimming and frequent flyer logs.
From language lessons during the holidays and sports and music every day.
I am from more than a dozen churches, being welcomed, asked to come forward or stand and then we’d sing.
I'm from Blantyre, now from Belgium, from sadza, zuurkool stamppot and appeltaart.
From the times we would wear wintercoats made by my mother out of blankets, the Peugeot stuck in the snow and my brother stuck in sliding doors at an Austrian airport.
I am from Mutare and Bulawayo, Lelystad and Amsterdam, Hamilton and Ghent. From where? Yes, there. So be it. Amen.

Related posts:

• Cultural identity confusion and third culture kids
• My 10 Advantages of growing up in another culture
• A third culture kid speaking "I am not from anywhere"

I am just wondering: Where are you from? Care to share it with us? Here's the "Where I'm from template". 

I think it is great fun for third culture kids or cross culture kids to do this little exercise. So have fun. If you want to contribute your story send it in to: drieculturen@gmail.com.

Great things can happen online

Guess what my blog has been nominated for the Expatica "I am not a tourist Expat blog competition". I was nominated by The European Mama. She's a fellow blogger, a Polish mother living here in the Netherlands with her German husband and two daughters. Great things happen while I'm blogging or even sometimes while I am not looking. Suddenly my blog gets nominated for a competition, I meet new people online, and I get comments on my posts. Thank you. I am really enjoying this blogging adventure! Now the good thing about the blog competition is that you, the readers get to decide which blog wins the price.

I was asked which post I would like to share for the competition and I choose this one: Meet Rebecca an expat raising trilingual kids in the Netherlands. I choose this post because I am always very interested in the stories people have to tell. We can learn from the experiences of other parents. I was raised bilingually while growing up in Africa. I am so happy my parents made the effort to teach us Dutch. You can read more on how I learned my mother tongue. I think teaching your children your own language is one of the best gifts you can give them.

Maybe they do not appreciate it now but I can nearly guarantee you that in the years to come your children will be thankful that you taught them to speak their mother tongue.

" Preserving Your Heritage Language is the key to preserving your next generation, giving your child a true sense of identity and a high level of self esteem."

-- Soji Oyenuga, 2006

The Expat Blog competition is open until the 7th of October which is the day of the expat fair at the Beurs van Berlage in the heart of Amsterdam. Hop over and see all the other blogs that have been nominated and cast your vote here: http://www.expatica.com/iamnotatourist/blog_vote.php. 

Related posts:

• Top 10 countries for raising kids abroad in 2011 (the Netherlands is 2nd on the list)
• My 10 advantages of growing up abroad
• My 10 disadvantages of growing up abroad
• The downside of growing up overseas as a third culture kid

Guest blogger Lucia Bodeman Lets us know Where she is from!

I am excited to announce that Lucia Bodeman joined in the challenge I wrote about in my recent post "I am from....And Where are you from?" I met Lucia online and we have never actually met in real life, hopefully we will one day. Lucia is an ELT educator in Recife, Brazil. She is a fellow blogger at Lu Bodeman. We have more similarities. We both grew up as third culture kids, have some Dutch blood, and are constant learners. Lucia loves education, travelling, languages, and culture. If you want to join in the challenge too just post a comment and let me know. So over to Lucia.

I am from........

I am from Maracatu, Caipirinha and nice, warm tapiocas.
I am from the sandy beaches, with tropical reefs, high-rise buildings and the fresh smell of coffee.

I am from sugar cane plantations, giant lilipads, sweet cakes with guava cream, and listening to the sounds of the Bem-te-vi.
I am from mystical lands, where many religions unite and football is also a religion, from growing up in a family of different cultures, from Indonesia, Brazil with a deep admiration and love for the US of A.

I am from dancing, singing and scrapbooking, from recording memories and welcoming the New Year by jumping three times on the coast of Boa Viagem beach – for good luck.
I am from visiting different lands, learning and teaching different languages and trying to stay fit.
I am from the soft swaying of the ‘ciranda’, ‘churrascos and Capibaribe River.

I am from Recife, Los Angeles, Arcadia, Rio de Janeiro and the Netherlands. Culture defines who I am.
I am from peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, from 4^th of July celebrations and cranberry sauce at Thanksgiving. 

From rootbeer and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. From barbeques and sushi with friends. I am social.
I am from the warm waters of Recife, but not completely. I am also American, and Dutch. I am part of a multitude. Of colors, of experiences, of pride. I am a third culture kid.
A global citizen, looking for a place to call Home. Perhaps Home is within me. Wherever my people are. My family.
I am neither from here alone, nor there. I carry my three homes with me, because that is what makes me complete.
I am from my experiences, my family, my friends. And my spirit is free.

I am from..........and where are you from?

Recently I read a lovely post on a Dutch blog Opgroeien in het Buitenland. The post inspired me to write about where I'm from. Here is the result.

I am from....

I am from Acacia trees, Tanganda tea and tasty Royco soup.
I am from lovely gardens with hoopoe birds, cold stone houses and the fresh smell after the first rains.
I am from avocado trees, red flame lilies, roasted peanuts and watching the sunrise on a Matopos kopje.
I am from singing grace, climbing mount Mulanje and finding mountain cristals, from growing up bilingual and letters from grandparents far away.
I am from making music and cycling, from climbing trees and camping holidays with open fires.
I am from public speaking contests, toastmasters club and swimming galas.
I am from praise songs and love meals. Potluck diners and youth group fun.
I am from Zambia, Malawi, Zimbabwe and the Netherlands. Moving is the name of the game.
I am from homemade lemon curd, muesli, chutney and oliebollen (oil dumplings). From hagelslag (chocolate sprinklers) and drop (liquorish). From milk and cheese.
I am from the warm heart of Africa, but not officially. I am from the land of the multiculti. The tribe of third culture kids.
A global nomad. A global citizen.
I am from neither here nor there.
I am from all the people and places that I love.

                                                            *********************************************************************

I wonder where you are from. I used the "Where I'm from template". You can use the template too. I hope you try it, because it is actually great fun. I'm really interested in hearing where you are from. Let me know if you would like to share your story here. I could publish it as a guest post.Just to let you know that Lucia Bodeman has accepted the challenge. Here's her "poem" telling us where she's from. Thanks Lucia! Who's next?

Related posts:

• Third culture kids speaking: I'm not from anywhere
• Third culture kids going to university 
• Are you raising messed up kids?

Third Culture Kids do you Dare to be Green?

In an earlier post Third Culture Kids Learning to be Themselves I had written about this poem but I had not posted the complete poem. I can really identify with the words so I did want to post the whole poem. My parents are from the blue country: the Netherlands and I grew up in the Yellow country. Well the yellow country for me would be the African culture or continent. The countries I lived in were: Zambia, Malawi and Zimbabwe. If you enjoy this poem and want to read more, read the poem "Who am I?" by my guest Marina Sofia, who was a third culture kid too.

By a 4 year old @DrieCulturen

Colors
by Whitni Thomas, MK

I grew up in a Yellow country
But my parents are Blue.
I'm Blue.
Or at least, that is what they told me.
But I play with the Yellows.
I went to school with the Yellows.
I spoke the Yellow language.
I even dressed and appeared to be Yellow.
Then I moved to the Blue land.
Now I go to school with the Blues.
I speak the Blue language.
I even dress and look Blue.
But deep down, inside me, something's Yellow.
I love the Blue country.
But my ways are tinted with Yellow.
When I am in the Blue land,
I want to be Yellow.
When I am in the Yellow land,
I want to be Blue.
Why can't I be both?
A place where I can be me.
A place where I can be green.
I just want to be green.

What about you. Do you dare to be Green? Do you enjoy being Green? Have you accepted that you are Green?

Related posts:

• A Third Culture Kid Speaking: "I'm not from Anywhere" 
• Counselors: Be curious about their upbringing....Third Culture Kids
• Book review of the book "Expat Teens Talk"
• I am all the places in which I've left my heart

Guest Third Culture Kid poem by Marina Sofia "Who am I?"

Thank you Marina Sofia for letting me share your poem "Who am I?" on this blog. The words touched my heart. I am so glad that there are people like Marina writing stories and poems about the feelings and challenges of third culture kids. You can follow Marina on twitter too @MarinaSofia8. Now it's over to Marina:

                                                                              *******************************************

"Who am I?" (The Third Culture Kid)

Or even fourth or fifth culture kid…  This is the internationally accepted term for children who have spent a significant portion of their formative years in cultures different from their own, or their parents.  I didn’t know I was one while I was growing up – now I am raising a couple of my own.  Personally, I much prefer the term ‘global nomad’ – has more of a glamorous ring to it, doesn’t it? But what I do have is that feeling of fragmentation: I do not have a solid, whole concrete façade, but  am made up of so many different little pebbles of influence. 

I used to think moving on is a blessing,
the moved upon powerless and grieving.
Head down, I’d prepare for exit and re-entry, again, and again,
glad to be the one gathering no moss.
But ultimately revenge is theirs:
for they sprout roots, link up, grow together, form tissue
richly alive with many shared hours and insights and tales.
All the shortcuts roll glib off their tongues,
always creating and leading their own trend,
while the mover is running to catch up, to fuddle,
stuck in the language of past generations,
never quite getting the nuance, the slang.
See that flying line of geese?  There’s one just off,
destroying the symmetry of their formation.
I fear I am something of a disappointment:
not enough of a glamour-bird when you want to preen with me,
yet not sufficiently aligned and meek.
My ducks in a row askew,
so easy to shoot at, and never enough time
to grieve.
I’ve learnt to hide my real thoughts
my own thoughts
my solitude.
I’ve learnt a short answer to the question:
‘Where are you from?’, tinged with just enough humour
and self-deprecation to disarm and charm.
Who am I?
I am all that is half-forgotten,
half-mourned, half-understood.
I am all the places in which I’ve left my heart.
I am all that is buried deep inside and want to excavate no more.
I am all that I dare not show you
for fear that you will drown.

Related posts:

• Third Culture Kids and Cultural Identity Confusion
• Third Culture Kids Learning to be themselves
• Interview with Heidi Sand-Hart author of the book "home Keeps Moving"
• Nina Sichel on understanding TCKs on Children's Mental Health Network website

Image thanks to Karpati Morgue file

Are you raising messed up kids?

The internet and twitter are very useful tools for finding new information. Today I was searching the web and I arrived on a blog written by a third culture kid. The words I read stayed with me all day and I just have to share them with you. I have written about my 10 disadvantages of growing up abroad and I have written a blog on the downside of growing up abroad as a third culture kid.  You know it's true, children are flexible and they can easily adapt to transitions but there is a cost we pay. Please parents do think ahead and consider what effect multiple moves will have on kids. Here are the words I read:

"Dear everyone who has kids: If you want to mess up their heads and damn them to loneliness, raise them in a place radically foreign from what you know and love.  It works every time.

Growing up, I was the poster child for third culture kids.  I didn't fit in anywhere.  Even when I was well liked, I didn't really fit in anywhere."

There are real challenges for third culture kids, children growing up in multiple countries, continents, and communities. There is an "identity issue". Where do I belong? Where's home? Who am I? Where do I fit in? I have written about cultural identity confusion and third culture kids before. When I was growing up in Africa I cannot really remember having any real identity issues. During primary school I attended an International school so there were kids from many different nationalities. We were all different, there was no problem there. The community was constantly changing. We were saying "hello" and "goodbye" regularly. It was a way of life. To me it was a normal way of life. During secondary school in Zimbabwe I remember being called "the foreigner", but even that I could accept.

The identity issue became a real issue when I went to university in the Netherlands (my passport country).  My whole life I had said that I was Dutch. I spoke Dutch, I had a Dutch passport, nearly all my family lived in the Netherlands and yet suddenly I did not feel Dutch. I discovered that there were many things about normal Dutch life that I did not know. It is so hard to explain, it is not only about knowing things but also about feeling different.

Through twitter I came across a blog post written by Julia Munroe Martin. She was a third culture kid (TCK). She grew up in France, Belize, Kenya and Uganda. She writes about "always feeling and being different in every culture, never fitting in anywhere..."

Related posts:

• Third culture kids: learning to be themselves
• Third culture kids learning their mother tongue
• Global Nomads on the move: part 2
• How do transitions effect children?

Image thanks to Jusben Morguefile

Meet Rebecca, an expat raising trilingual kids in the Netherlands

By chance I met Rebecca. Well actually we met through Marktplaats. It's a website on which one can buy and sell things. I was the buyer. Rebecca comes from Texas, lives in the Netherlands and together with her German-Italian husband she is raising two trilingual daughters here (16 and 14 years old). I would say that her girls are real cross cultural kids. I was interested in her experience. Rebecca writes a blog: http://signalsminusnoise.blogspot.com/

Twenty four years ago Rebecca moved to the Netherlands with her husband. Both her daughters were born here. 

Where’s home for your daughters? This question comes up a lot. They have done “Home country” projects at school. When my youngest daughter had to make a map of her home country city, she did a map about Dusseldorf, where her grandparents live. When it was a project on the climate of your home country showing rivers etc she choose to do  a map of Texas (so that’s a home too). There is no one answer for kids that are brought up this way. Home ends up being something you carry in yourself, both girls are at home in Texas, where their cousins, granny, and the lake house are. The Netherlands is home too. Germany is where the German grandparents and other paternal relatives are so it is home too. We were there every Christmas, Easter and part of every summer. The basement at their grandparents' home was their playground.

The downside of it is that they don’t have a fixed home, they don’t have deep cultural ties, they don't have the deep roots to any of these places, but they do have a connection. My home is Texas. They will not miss their house in the Netherlands like I miss mine in Texas. If we went to Portugal that would be a home for them too. In some ways they miss some of that. They will never have that patriotic aspect. They will never get tears in their eyes with any national anthem. My husband has a tie to the Germanic culture, it gives him pride in his country. The girls don't have any of that kind of connection or loyalty, but instead they have flexibility and a less judgmental attitude.

What languages do you speak in the home?

I spoke only English to the children, my husband spoke only German, they were raised in a Dutch creche from 7 months of age. Until the age of 5 the children had full choice about which language they wanted to answer, it was usually Dutch. Then they were encouraged to speak English back to me, German to to their dad, usually they communicated Dutch to each other. They were trilingual from the beginning.

They both changed from a Dutch school to an international school when the oldest was 10 years of age. She was furious. Her thought processes were in Dutch. Understanding English was no problem, input was fine but she had to think about it in Dutch and translate it to English to answer. It slowly switched over. It's harder for me to switch from one language to the other I make more mistakes.

Do you have some concluding words? 

The most important thing to deal with about third culture kids or cross cultural kids is that there is nothing that you can do that can make their experience like yours. Be flexible, see what fits your kids, adapt to what comes a long. For example our daughters celebrated the Indian Diwali festival in the international school. You may not be able to understand some of the things they are going through but there are compensations in lots of different ways.

                                                    ************************************************************************

Thank you Rebecca for sharing your experience. You had so much to tell me so this is just part one and part two will follow soon. We will compare growing up in Texas with growing up in the Netherlands next time. 

What's your experience? Where's home for you or for your kids? Do you have experience with raising trilingual kids? Or with raising cross cultural kids? Please share your stories with us.

Related posts:

• A guest blog by an African Gypsy: A story of an Adult Third Culture kid
• Cultural identity confusion and third culture kids
• Children of the World: where are your roots?
• Adult third culture kids: an under-tapped source of high quality expats?

I am all the places in which I've left my heart

I came across this poem called "TCK" it is written by someone who writes under the name Marina Sofia. I would encourage you to read her poem. I just love it. Sometimes words can say so much.

In the poem she asks: "Who am I?"
One of her answers is: "I am all the places in which I've left my heart".

Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe by Janneke @DrieCulturen

If that's true, then pieces of my heart are in Zambia, Malawi, Zimbabwe, Scotland (I studied there for a couple of months) and here in the Netherlands. Recently we were on holiday in Indonesia, I think I lost my heart to that country too. Life's complicated sometimes.

I often think that there is so much more to me than you can see on the outside.
There's a hidden story on the inside for those who are interested enough to find out, or to ask about it.
For some the stories are too much to handle.
Growing up far away is a life beyond your imagination.
For others it is an exotic, fascinating story.
Maybe you fantasize too much.

Maybe we all have hidden stories.
Even those who grow up near to their roots.
Maybe we all have a moment that we struggle with our identity.
What do you think?

I do have a story to tell about every place that I left a piece of my heart.
Do you want to hear them?
Maybe in the coming posts.....
Let me know what you want to hear about.
I want to let you know that I want to hear your story too.

Is this true for you? "I am all the places in which I've left my heart"

Related posts:

• How do transitions effect children?
• Children of the world, where are your roots?
• Heard of the magazine: Among Worlds?
• New book about TCKs: Writing out of Limbo

Neither here nor there...where do I belong?

 

"We all grew up in multiple countries

and multiple worlds,

the reasons are different 

and where we grew up is completely different

but we are united by this experience."

These are just a few words of the film "Neither here nor There" produced by Eman Ryan Yamazaki. The film is all about third culture kids, growing up among worlds. A trailer can be seen above. Clips of the film will be shown at The Families in Global Transition Conference (FIGT) 2012 in Washington this Friday 30th of March. The DVD of the film is for sale.

It's a documentary that explores cultural identity for people who have grown up in places other than their home culture, known as Third Culture Kids. Through the stories of six people, the film investigates the often overlooked effects on adults who had international upbringings, their struggles to fit in and an eternal search to belong. "Neither Here Nor There," explores the ideas of cultural identity. One person says: 

"I am a confusion of cultures, uniquely me"

As you know I was a third culture kid too. I have been thinking about the trailer of the film. I can identify with the people in the film. Their story is just like mine. The following words are my thoughts on this topic.

The past I cannot change,

the future I can try to influence

the present I can make the most of

but most of all I want to accept myself, just the way I am.

I will be happy just because I'm ME.

Mix together a little of these countries: the Netherlands, Zambia, Malawi and Zimbabwe.

Stir well

Add lots of sunshine

Allow to mature

Sprinkle with some tears

Enjoy the result: ME.

What are your thoughts on this topic? 

Related posts:

• Cultural identity confusion and third culture kids
• The downside of growing up as a third culture kid
• Children of the world: where are your roots?
• Third culture kids learning to be themselves
• Aga Magdolen's TCK film "Les Passagers"

Children of the world. Where are your roots?

While searching on the internet I came across this nice film. I like it because it is about third culture kids in the Netherlands. I hope you enjoy watching "Children of Roots 2: Eindhoven Trailer".

This film has been made by Ritti Soncco. She is a writer, performer and filmmaker. She is an (adult) third culture kid. She was born in Peru, spent her childhood in Nigeria and she currently lives in Southern Germany. The film has been made in coloration with the International School in Eindhoven, the Netherlands.  

"The potato Ochoa continues the search for his roots... On his travels around the world, he meets the students of the International School of Eindhoven.

12 international students and 2 international teachers tell him their stories... Where is home? What does it mean to be "international"? If we grow up among many cultures, where do we have our roots?"

If you want to enjoy it to the full you should really watch Ritti Sonocco her earlier film called "Children of Roots Trailer". This is what part 1 is about:  

"The little potato Ochoa awakes one day in a German potato field. Confused about being so far away from home, he explores the city of Ulm, where he befriends three South American women and asks them how they live in a foreign country without forgetting their roots and culture. He then decides to return to Peru to seek out the home he once knew and ask his fellow Peruvians if they would ever consider emigrating from their country.

A puppet-documentary on the nature of home, integration and cultural heritage. Dedicated to the potato scientist, Dr Carlos Ochoa."

I love the creativity of third culture kids. Thank you Ritti Sonocco for your lovely documentaries!

Do you want to watch more films about third culture kids? Have you seen Aga Madolen's "Les Passagers"? It's really worth watching. Have you found your roots? Are you searching for them? Do you have advice for others in search of their roots?

Ontdekken dat je een "Third Culture Kid" bent.

Tegenwoordig zijn er steeds meer kinderen die opgroeien in andere culturen. Op mijn werk is er pas een collega vertrokken naar Australië met 3 kinderen. Een vriendin uit mijn studie tijd woont en werkt in Mexico met haar man en 3 kinderen. Andere bekenden zijn dit jaar vertrokken naar Peru met 4 kinderen. Het reizen gaat steeds makkelijker en door de mogelijkheden van internet lijken de internationale grenzen steeds meer te vervagen. Zelf ben ik geboren in Zambia en heb ik als kind in Malawi en Zimbabwe gewoond. Ik heb eerder al een blog geschreven: Waar kom je vandaan? Het gaat over mijn begin tijd hier in Nederland.

Doordat wij steeds meer en makkelijker internationaal verhuizen ben ik van mening dat het aantal kinderen dat buiten zijn of haar eigen paspoort land opgroeit alleen maar zal toenemen. Deze groep kinderen hebben de naam third culture kids gekregen. Ze hebben een deel van hun ontwikkelingsjaren doorgebracht in een andere cultuur (dus meestal in één of meer landen). Ik heb nog geen goede Nederlandse vertaling voor het woord third culture kids gevonden. Ze worden wel eens derde-cultuur-kinderen genoemd maar persoonlijk vind ik dat geen mooie term.

Laatst kwam ik een artikel tegen over de fases die je doormaakt bij het ontdekken dat je een third culture kid bent. Het spraak mij wel aan en ik zal het hier kort toelichten. Ik heb deze fases zelf ook doorgemaakt maar op dat moment had ik het zelf natuurlijk helemaal niet door. Meestal is het moment dat je ontdekt dat je een third culture kid bent ergens in je tienertijd of iets daarna.

1. De fase voordat je iets over third culture kids weet, onwetendheid

Ik heb veel fijne herinneringen aan deze tijd: kamperen in Zimbabwe, vuurtjes stoken tijdens het kamperen, mount Mulanje beklimmen in Malawi, zwemmen in het meer van Malawi, veel verschillende kinderen in mijn klas op de internationale school. Wij moesten wel regelmatig verhuizen en afscheid nemen maar dat deden de andere "expats" om ons heen ook. Het was dus normaal in mijn beleving. "Anders zijn" was ook normaal.
  
2. De ontdekking dat je een third culture kid bent

Dit gebeurde bij mij toen ik het boek "Growing up Among Worlds" van David Pollock en Ruth van Reken aan 't lezen was. Het was zo'n aha moment. Opeens begreep ik mijzelf beter. Opeens lag het niet aan mij, maar hadden de gevoelens die ik had, de eenzaamheid, het onzekerheid ook te maken met mijn verleden. Het had te maken met het opgroeien in andere culturen/landen. Ik kwam er achter dat ik niet de enige was die deze gevoelens had. Er waren meer third culture kids! Het was een gevoel van opluchting.
Ik werd mij ook meer bewust van de nadelen van het opgroeien in het buitenland.

3. Aanpassen aan je nieuwe identiteit

Ik werd mij meer bewust van de voordelen van het opgroeien in andere landen. Zie ook mijn eerder bericht over de 10 voordelen van het opgroeien in het buitenland. Ik ben gaan nadenken over hoe ik mijn culturele gevoeligheid meer zou kunnen gebruiken in mijn toekomst.

4. Het integreren van het "third culture kid" zijn in jezelf en verder gaan.

In deze fase ben je minder bezig met "het anders zijn", met je identiteit als third culture kid en nu begrijp je dat deze term ook niet alles verklaard. Het is de fase van accepteren en verder gaan. Zelf keuzes maken, vrede sluiten met je verleden en je heden. Niet zo naar de verschillen kijken maar naar de overeenkomsten tussen mensen.

Hey it's Johnny C heeft in het Engels over deze 4 fases van ontdekking geschreven.

Kijk hier naar een kort filmpje "Les Passagers" het gaat over third culture kids (TCKs).
Hier legt Libby Stephens in een korte video uit wat third culture kids precies zijn. Zij heeft al meer dan 25 jaar ervaring met het werken met TCKs.

Ik ben erg benieuwd of jullie deze fases herkennen? Hoe was het voor jou? Zou je hier op willen reageren? Heb je advies voor anderen?

Cultural Identity Confusion and Third Culture Kids

Recently I entered the world called Twitter, it is may be something like the "expat bubble", if you're in it you know exactly what I am talking about but if you have never been part of that world it all seems so foreign. Well that's what I had with the world called Twitter. I seemed to have convinced myself that I could not understand the twitter language. After hearing someone speak about the great advantage of combining a blog with being active on twitter, I was convinced. I was going to dive into this new world and conquer. In the beginning I had some culture shock problems. I had no idea what the hashtags mean. I only just discovered that #ff means #followfriday. So on Friday people twitter that giving suggestions who to follow. Wow, I'm never too old to learn and neither are you! By the way if you want to follow me on twitter find me @DrieCulturen.

So while I was in the twitter world I came across this interesting quote.

It is a quote by Libby Stephens :  

"In the 25+ years of working with third culture kids, I don't find cultural identity confusion to be a big issue until the TCKs return to their passport country"

The quote resonates in my heart because it is exactly my experience. There was no problem in my life until I went to the Netherlands to study when I was 19 years old. So what was the confusion?

Suddenly I discovered that I looked Dutch but did not feels Dutch. No that's not quite right. I did feel Dutch. I mean while I lived in Africa I felt Dutch. It was only when I lived with the Dutch in the Netherlands that I discovered that I looked the same but I felt different. Inside me I longed for Africa and I thought maybe I look Dutch but am African on the inside?

Earth by PSchubert Morgue file

At my secondary school in Zimbabwe I was called the "foreigner". On my identity card in Zimbabwe it said "alien". It really is a great feeling, being 16 years old and being called an "alien". Sorry folks this is not a made up story, this is real life. Are you starting to see where the confusion stepped into my life. Recently I discovered that there is a word that described me. I was a "hidden immigrant". TCKid.com says hidden immigrants look alike but think different. So things only got better: from foreigner, to alien, now a hidden immigrant. Later I discovered that I was a ATCK too...

You can read an important book by Kay Branaman Eakin called "According to my passport I'm coming Home" (free download here). It contains lots of information on third culture kids returning to their passport countries. What are the challenges?

Read my Dutch post about retuning home: terugkeer, re-entry, help!

Did you or your kids experience cultural confusion, and in what way?