Book Review: B at Home, Emma Moves Again by Valérie Besanceney

To start with I would like to wish you all happy new year. I hope it will be a year that you and your children will thrive and be resilient. I hope to write more about resilience in another post. In case you are moving with children this year than the book B at Home, Emma Moves Again might be just the book you need.

Emma is 10 years old and has already moved twice. At the start of the book she lives in the Netherlands. In the book her parents tell her that the family is moving again. She has mixed emotions and turns to B, her faithful teddy bear. Together they make the move.
Children can identify with the girl in the story. It can help them to feel that they are not alone, that there are other children who have gone through the same things. It can help children give words to the emotions they are feeling.

There are discussion questions at the end of the book. Parents could use the questions to chat with their children about the upcoming move. An example of a question is: Emma and her friends talk about how certain smells bring back memories. What are some smells that bring back strong memories for you?

The author Valérie Besanceney was born in the Netherlands, grew up as a third culture kid, making several international moves as a child, she is an experienced international school teacher and is raising two TCK daughters. She definitely knows what she is talking about. In addition to the book B at Home Besanceney has created a workbook My Moving Booklet. This is a great tool for parents and schools to ease a transition for a child. The children can share their emotions and there is also lots of room for creativity.

I had the privilege of meeting Valérie at the Families in Global transition Conference in Amsterdam in 2016.

Have you or one of your children read the book B at Home, Emma Moves Again? Are there other books that you would recommend for kids making international moves? Please share them with us.

Related Posts:

• Book: Emotional Resilience and the Expat Child
• Book review of Expat Teens Talk
• Q and A with Tanya Crossman author of the book "Misunderstood"
• Interview with Heidi Sand-Hart author of the book Home Keeps Moving
• 10 Tips to help your child prepare for an international move

Preparing for the Families in Global Transition Conference 2016

At the moment I am preparing for the FIGT conference which will take place in March. It's the first time ever that this conference will take place in the Netherlands. It's the first time it will take place in Europe. It's the first time I will attend the conference and it's the first time I will be presenting at the conference. Very exciting! By the way the conference schedule is available and the presenter biographies. As you can see there are more than 50 presenters, I expect that they will represent all the corners of the world.

While preparing for my session I was searching the internet for new information on third culture kids. I found a nice short video made by teenager Alison. She's a third culture kid herself, she explains what it means, has done some research and she gives advice. It's worth watching.

She conducted a survey and it revealed that the TCKs find leaving friends and changing school the most difficult. It took them a couple a months to adjust to the new surrounding. She encourages TCKs to meet new people and learn the new language. Her last advice is: Stay open-minded and resilient and moving can enhance your life.

By the way I hope you are attending the Families in Global Transition Conference in Amsterdam too. Please let me know if you're coming so we can meet up. 

Related posts: 
My 10 advantages of growing up abroad
Interview with graphic design student Jessica Wen on her third culture kid book project
Interesting interview with researcher and adult third culture kid Rachel Cason 

"Moving never easy, yet inevitable"

In September I wrote a blog using the "Where I'm from" template. I challenged you to share with us where you are from. So first Lucia Bodeman accepted the challenge, so did my sister and now it's Natasja's turn. Thank you to these brave ladies. If you're interested you can find the template here. So now it's over to Natasja:

Where I'm from

I am from the peaceful green grasslands amongst the hills, from Chappies (bubble gum), home schooling and hutspot*.
I am from a zinc roof house, tall eucalyptus trees and log wood fires to warm the house.
I am from climbing guava trees, purple bougainvillea and the lovely sights of elephants bathing in the Chobe river.
I am from Blue Airmail envelopes that brought family a little closer, red dust roads, from the most beautiful sunsets ever seen.
I am from Sunday school, death celebrations, juju. Burned corn and fufu.
I am from Cameroon, Botswana and The Netherlands. Moving never easy, yet inevitable.
I am from Sinterklaas, hagelslag** and drop***. From tulips, clogs and oliebollen. From seasons never changing, always hot and dry.
I am from Christmas trees made out of pine wood branches and hand made decorations, home made bread and custard for breakfast.
I am from a place I never belonged and one I never fit into.
I am from fragments, neither here nor there.
I am from all the places I left behind.

* hutspot is a typical Dutch dish that is traditionally eaten in the winter. The dish is made out of potatoes, carrots, onions and more
** hagelslag: chocolate sprinklers
*** drop: liquorish

Thank you Natasja. For people (like me) who grew up in different countries or cultures it can be healing to write about it. In writing you can actually join all the fragments and make a whole. Join all the pieces. Bind all the dots and make something beautiful. Have you written about your experiences? If you want to share your story with us you can send me an email.

Related posts

Guavas photo from Morguefile

Third Culture Kid do you dare to be Green?
Guest Third Culture Kid Poem by Marina Sofia "Who am I?"
Cultural Identity Confusion and Third Culture Kids
Third Culture Kid Speaking "I'm Not From Anywhere"

The Winner of the Book "Home Keeps Moving" by Heidi Sand-Hart

Flowers remind me of Africa

Last week it was my blog's first birthday and to celebrate that there was an interview with third culture kid, and author Heidi Sand-Hart and there was a possibility to win a free signed copy of Heidi's book: Home Keeps Moving. I like the book because it is a nice first hand account of the life of a third culture kid and of the challenges that can be faced. I promised that I would let you know who has won the copy of the book. By the way I believe that if you promise something then you have to do what you promised, so here comes:

The winner of the signed copy of the book Home Keeps Moving is: Julia Munroe Martin!
Congratulations Julia, I hope you enjoy the reading the book, it will be coming your way soon.

I "met" Julia online through twitter. I really enjoyed the first article I read by Julia. It's called: Word-by-word, scene-by-scene, chapter-by chapter a guest post on Emma Pass's blog. What it's like being a Third Culture Kid? Julia is American, she was born in France and grew up in Kenya, Africa. I am impressed because there were so many comments on this guest post.

You should read this post by Julia too: The Stories a Picture Can't Tell. I'm so glad that there are more writers and bloggers out there writing about being a third culture kid. Raising the awareness, you know it excites me.

I have just discovered this guest post on Milliver's Travels by Julia: Summer vacations at my grandma's house, Poland, Ohio. Moving around frequently as a child, she had no place she could call home. The closest she ever felt home was with her grandmother at her house in Poland, Ohio, on the banks of the Yellow Creek. Julia paints pictures with her words and there are lovely photo's there too. I encourage you to read the post. Just like Julia the family farm where my grandparent's lived in Friesland, the Netherlands feels a little like home to me. It has been a place I can always come back to. So even though grandparents may live many miles away they can still be of great importance to children growing up globally. I recently posted a guest blog by Libby Stephen's on: Grandparenting over the Seas.

By the way I have to confess that to choose the winner I did it the old fashioned way. My daughter had fun drawing a name out of a hat. She was excited about that. Thank you all for adding comments and joining in the competition. Thank you all for reading my blog, I am so happy that there are people reading what I write. Thank you Heidi for donating the book. As Heidi said if you did not win a signed copy you can buy a copy of the book and she will sign it for you! So the book written by adult third culture kid Heidi has been won by another author who is an adult third culture kid too! What fun. Lets keep on writing and telling the world the hidden stories within us.

Related Posts:

• Great third Culture Kid information on the web.
• Cultural Identity Confusion and third culture kids
• Third Culture Kids Learning to be Themselves

Potato wisdom for raising kids abroad

It's good to start at something with some kind of idea what the end result will be. You should have a picture in mind. A vision. A dream. When I planted potatoes in our garden in the Netherlands I hoped the result would be that we would eat home grown potatoes. Just the idea of it filled me with pride. I could see our family around our table eating something I had produced. Then again it was the first time I was planting potatoes so I just never quite know whether it would be successful. I went to a garden centre to buy the potatoes. Luckily they did have several brands to choose from. There was my first challenge: which brand should I pick? Let me be wise and ask for help. The shop assistant politely let me know that he had no knowledge of potatoes and potato brands. That in itself is not a great problem had he been able to refer me to someone who could have given me advice. There I was all alone with my unanswered question. I checked the internet on my cell phone hoping to find the answer, it took lots of time and in the end I still didn't know what to do. So I took a lucky guess and choose one of the brands.

My potato plants copyright DrieCulturen

It's a little like raising kids abroad. Most of us do it for the first time in our lives. We have a picture of the end result. We want to raise strong, independent, healthy, multicultural, mature adults. The only thing is you are never quite sure what the end result will be like. Will we be successful?

What could we do to help ourselves when preparing to raise kids abroad?

1. Ask a professional and hope they know about third culture kids and can give good advice or that they can refer you to someone who can help you.
2. Check the internet on information about third culture kids and about moving internationally with kids. There's a recent article in the Telegraph by Helen Maffini: Top tips for emigrating with children. Another helpful article is Top 10 ways to cope with any transition by Julia Simens. Libby Stephens has a list of third culture kid resources that are worth checking. Here's my list of websites and blogs that are worth having a look st.
3. Read some good books on the topic.
4. Keep the image of your end result in mind. Don't let go of that dream.

Here's my harvest. Just to let you know: we did eat potatoes and it felt so good! I want to cherish moments like this. It makes life exciting. It was worth starting on this new adventure. Do you have advice for parents preparing to raise kids abroad?

Related posts:

• Third culture kids where are your roots? It's about a potato Ochoa searching for his roots.
• Meet Sammy the snail, a third culture kid
• Language links for parents raising multilingual children

Are you raising messed up kids?

The internet and twitter are very useful tools for finding new information. Today I was searching the web and I arrived on a blog written by a third culture kid. The words I read stayed with me all day and I just have to share them with you. I have written about my 10 disadvantages of growing up abroad and I have written a blog on the downside of growing up abroad as a third culture kid.  You know it's true, children are flexible and they can easily adapt to transitions but there is a cost we pay. Please parents do think ahead and consider what effect multiple moves will have on kids. Here are the words I read:

"Dear everyone who has kids: If you want to mess up their heads and damn them to loneliness, raise them in a place radically foreign from what you know and love.  It works every time.

Growing up, I was the poster child for third culture kids.  I didn't fit in anywhere.  Even when I was well liked, I didn't really fit in anywhere."

There are real challenges for third culture kids, children growing up in multiple countries, continents, and communities. There is an "identity issue". Where do I belong? Where's home? Who am I? Where do I fit in? I have written about cultural identity confusion and third culture kids before. When I was growing up in Africa I cannot really remember having any real identity issues. During primary school I attended an International school so there were kids from many different nationalities. We were all different, there was no problem there. The community was constantly changing. We were saying "hello" and "goodbye" regularly. It was a way of life. To me it was a normal way of life. During secondary school in Zimbabwe I remember being called "the foreigner", but even that I could accept.

The identity issue became a real issue when I went to university in the Netherlands (my passport country).  My whole life I had said that I was Dutch. I spoke Dutch, I had a Dutch passport, nearly all my family lived in the Netherlands and yet suddenly I did not feel Dutch. I discovered that there were many things about normal Dutch life that I did not know. It is so hard to explain, it is not only about knowing things but also about feeling different.

Through twitter I came across a blog post written by Julia Munroe Martin. She was a third culture kid (TCK). She grew up in France, Belize, Kenya and Uganda. She writes about "always feeling and being different in every culture, never fitting in anywhere..."

Related posts:

• Third culture kids: learning to be themselves
• Third culture kids learning their mother tongue
• Global Nomads on the move: part 2
• How do transitions effect children?

Image thanks to Jusben Morguefile

How do transitions effect children?

Recently the The American Foreign Service Association (AFSA) had a panel discussion about third culture kids and their experiences. You can watch the film, it is nearly one and a half hours full of good information. The members of the panel all have many years of experience working with Third culture kids. One of the members of the panel is International educator and adult third culture kid (ATCK), Rebecca Oden, M.Ed,  who has been a teacher and a coordinator providing academic and emotional/social support for transitioning families and students.  Her master’s thesis and research focused on transition and its consequent effect on the identity of TCKs in the international school setting.

I want to share something with you that Rebecca Oden said at the start of the panel discussion. I share these words with you because I believe they are true. According to Rebecca here are:

4 very important variables that influence the life of a third culture kid (or internationally mobile child):

1. The developmental age of the child. There are different challenges and different issues at different ages. It's a little easier when children are younger, for example parents can arrange a play date and within moments of meeting each others toddlers can be playing together. The issues change depending on the developmental age. A child of 12 years old will not be charmed when mum arranges a play date but parents can facilitate the social interactions at that age.
2. The number of transitions a child has faced. Parents often think: well they did fine the last move so all will be well this time. There are all kinds of reasons why this time the transition is more difficult. It could be connected with the developmental age. It could be transition fatigue, tried of all the change, the multiple loss of status, starting over time and time again. The fragmented identities that need to be put together time and time again.
3. The family wellness. How is your family culture? Are you as parents doing well? Is this transition more difficult for one of the parents too?
4. School choice.  Is it a school that is knowledgeable about these kind of issues? Does it have a program to address these issues?

I can not really remember how I experienced each transition in my youth. In Malawi I went to international schools but in Zimbabwe I attended good local schools. I have good memories at all of these schools. An international school is not automatically the best choice. What's your experience? Do you identify with these 4 variables?

 Related posts:

• Third culture kids going to university 
• The downside of growing up overseas as a third culture kid
• Neither here nor there...where do I belong?
• Children of the world: where are your roots?

Christmas around the world.

Sorry to say I don't have much inspiration today, but I do want to wish you all a happy Christmas. So I will start by doing that in several different languages. On this website you can even hear how some are pronounced. As a third culture kid I grew up multilingual and I still enjoy hearing different languages being spoken around me.

• Prettige kerstdagen en een gelukkig nieuw jaar (that's in Dutch)
• Merry Christmas and a happy new year
• Noflike Krystdagen en folle lok en seine (Frisian, the language spoken in the North of the Netherlands. It's the language my grandparents spoke). It's my "father tongue".
• Joyeaux Noël et bonne année (French, the language I learned at school)
• Feliz Natal! Feliz Ano Novo! (Portuguese, the language my parents learned when they had passed the age of 50 years and were preparing to work in Angola).
• Hyvää joulua ja onnellista uutta vuotta (Finnish, just because the words look nice).
• Glædelig jul og godt nytår (Danish, it sounds nice) .

 Here is some interesting information about Christmas around the world: 

1. Did you know that the expats in Africa are most likely to make a call home at Christmas?
2. Want to read more about what Christmas looks like for third culture kids? Read Libby Stephens' post called: Christmas TCK style.
3. Did you know that: Christmas Day is just an ordinary day for most Chinese people. Sarah Crack is a teacher in Tianjin, China tells about it on the Telegraph website.
4. Want to know how Christmas is celebrated here in the Netherlands? Read about it on The Expatica website. 
5. For Dutch kids Sinterklaas is associated with getting presents. Read all about Sinterklaas on a previous blog post of mine.  
6. Do you want to see a fresh telling of the first Christmas (done by children)? Go over to the Third Culture Kids & company website. Enjoy.

Well as a third culture kid we celebrated Christmas many times in Malawi and Zimbabwe. My memories of those times are a mixture of English carol singing, church, pot luck meals (yummy! trifles and more), new made friends, swimming, eating, making music and of course a Christmas tree. Even though there was never snow!

• What are your Christmas memories? If you can say happy Christmas in an additional language please add it in the comments. Thanks.

Video: Third culture kids and Global Nomads, their point of view!

Here is a film produced by ECIS. In the film children third culture kids are interviewed on different topics. These kids have lived in many different countries across the globe. Watch and listen to their story. First they explain in their own words what a third culture kid is.

This is list of the advantages of growing up as a third culture kid, as told by the children in the video. 

The kids say that they:

1. Are more accepting of different cultures and other people.
2. Learn more new cultures and learn new languages.
3. Can understand the world better if you live in different parts of the world.
4. Can see more of the world and not live a boring life.
5. Can move around and have experiences that most other kids don't have.
6. Get to meet new people.
7. Get to make many new friends.
8. Have an extra level of knowledge.
9. Enjoy life and do not take things for granted (they have seen poverty and seen the extremes of life).
10. Have more opportunities and can get a better education.

 

In a future blog post I will talk about the challenges the kids mention. Here's a list of My 10 disadvantages of growing up in another culture. I have written about My 10 advantages of growing up in another culture.  

If you want to know more about what children think of growing up abroad then I can recommend this interview What it's like to a third culture kid. Eleven year old Eliana explains all about being a TCK. She even has her own blog: TCKids (for Kids by a Kid).

What's your experience? What's your story? I would love to hear from you.

Top 10 countries for Raising Children abroad in 2011

The Expat Explorer Survey 2011 is a survey in which 3385 expats participated from over a 100 countries of the world. I am most interested in the chapter on raising children abroad. In other words that is the chapter on raising third culture kids. I want to know which country parents think is the best to raise your kids.

The survey looked at 3 main factors on raising kids abroad. These are the 3 factors:

1. Childcare (safety of children, standard of education, quality of childcare and overall cost of raising children)
2. Health and wellbeing (spending time outdoors, spending time with parents, playing sports, playing video games, watching TV, children eat less junk food now)
3. Integration (settled in quicker than parents, enjoyed their lives, are learning new languages, missing home and friends, social integration)

Scores from each factor are weighted to arrive at an overall Raising Children Abroad score and overall rank. The weighting applied is as follows: childcare - 33,3%, Health & wellbeing - 33,3% and Integration 33,3%.

Now here are the top 10 countries for raising children abroad according to this survey:

1. France
2. The Netherlands
3. Australia
4. Hong Kong
5. China
6. Singapore
7. United Arab Emirates
8. Mexico
9. United States
10. United Kingdom

France provides the best environment for raising children, with the Netherlands second best and Australia in third place. Children in these countries appear to lead a much healthier lifestyle: spending more time outdoors and more time playing sports. Of course I am a little proud that the Netherlands scores so well on raising children. I will share more specific results about the Netherlands in one of my next blog posts.

What are your experiences with raising kids abroad? Do they match the results of this survey? Do you have tips for other parents? Please share it with us. Thanks.

Good reads:
Bilingualism and growing up abroad
My 10 advantages of growing up abroad
Third culture kids: learning their mother tongue
Third culture kids going to university

Photo by KConners, MorgueFile