Great things can happen online

Guess what my blog has been nominated for the Expatica "I am not a tourist Expat blog competition". I was nominated by The European Mama. She's a fellow blogger, a Polish mother living here in the Netherlands with her German husband and two daughters. Great things happen while I'm blogging or even sometimes while I am not looking. Suddenly my blog gets nominated for a competition, I meet new people online, and I get comments on my posts. Thank you. I am really enjoying this blogging adventure! Now the good thing about the blog competition is that you, the readers get to decide which blog wins the price.

I was asked which post I would like to share for the competition and I choose this one: Meet Rebecca an expat raising trilingual kids in the Netherlands. I choose this post because I am always very interested in the stories people have to tell. We can learn from the experiences of other parents. I was raised bilingually while growing up in Africa. I am so happy my parents made the effort to teach us Dutch. You can read more on how I learned my mother tongue. I think teaching your children your own language is one of the best gifts you can give them.

Maybe they do not appreciate it now but I can nearly guarantee you that in the years to come your children will be thankful that you taught them to speak their mother tongue.

" Preserving Your Heritage Language is the key to preserving your next generation, giving your child a true sense of identity and a high level of self esteem."

-- Soji Oyenuga, 2006

The Expat Blog competition is open until the 7th of October which is the day of the expat fair at the Beurs van Berlage in the heart of Amsterdam. Hop over and see all the other blogs that have been nominated and cast your vote here: http://www.expatica.com/iamnotatourist/blog_vote.php. 

Related posts:

• Top 10 countries for raising kids abroad in 2011 (the Netherlands is 2nd on the list)
• My 10 advantages of growing up abroad
• My 10 disadvantages of growing up abroad
• The downside of growing up overseas as a third culture kid

Guest blog by An African Gypsy: A story of an Adult Third culture kid

I was born in ex-Yugoslavia in the 1960’s. My divorced mother met a Sudanese student of Agriculture when I was five. Later, they got married and we moved: first to Iraq then Libya and traveled extensively by car through Turkey, Greece, and Egypt.

When I was twelve we settled in Khartoum, Sudan where I attended a Catholic school for girls and lived on a farm by the Nile. Sudan was a melting pot comprised of Coptics, Syrians, Greeks, Egyptians, Lebanese, numerous Sudanese tribes as well as the expat community. An entire generation of multiethnic and multifaith children.

There was something exhilarating and never monotonous about having all these customs, cultures and beliefs blend in one place, constantly something new to learn. Bewitched by the music, folklore and language of each country I have visited or lived in, I still love applying the intricate patterns of Henna and wearing the colourful Tobe. (A garment indigenous to Sudan that is draped around the body and worn loosely over the head) My favorite facet of such a lifestyle was accepting everyone equally. Colour, race or faith made no difference to me. Most people I grew up with were mixed race including my siblings who are also Muslim.

On the farm in Sudan

Even though I loved Africa I missed my grandparents, my father and my hometown. Also, I didn’t fit into any of the existing *categories* in the Sudan. I was not half Sudanese as many of my friends were and I was not an expat child whose parents worked for embassies and foreign companies. I grew up immersed in a Sudanese household, with a Sudanese stepfamily and half African siblings but my outer appearance didn’t fit my colloquial Arabic dialect or my unconsciously native mannerisms. Little children would run after me on the street giggling and shouting, “Halabiya” (Gypsy) due to my fair skin. (In Sudan, people from a gypsy origin are lighter skinned) Or they called me “Khawagiya”. Foreigner. It didn’t feel good.

As I get older, my birthplace, my hometown of Osijek by the Drava River tugs at my heart more urgently. I get emotional over Balkan songs and jokes. I miss the aroma of local bread, the delicate peaches, and chestnuts in the winter...the fields of sunflowers. On the other hand, the magnificent Nile, the scent of mangoes and jasmine and the rhythm of African drums call me just as powerfully.

Nowadays, I live in Dubai, interacting with people from 198 nationalities. Listening to the soothing echoes from a host of languages intrigues me in countless ways. Here, I blend in.

This interest in multiculture has led me to pen stories about individuals who are displaced, then thrown together in a culturally alien setting and how that changes them. My novel ‘Dubai Wives’ follows the lives of eight women from ethnically, culturally and religiously diverse backgrounds and their transformative journey in the glamorous metropolis of Dubai, a place as intricate and complex as the woven threads of a beautiful carpet.

Through all my writing and inner self searching I have realized that I will probably never be completely content in any one place, cursed and blessed by the countless forces that  have shaped me.

Good sites for third culture kids: http://www.tckworld.com/ and the Global Nomads Group. 

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Thank you Zvezdana Rashkovich for your guest blog! It's my honour. Zvezdana is author of the novel Dubai Wives. On her website www.zvezdanarashkovich.com you can find more information. We met on twitter @SleeplessinDubai in 2011. We have in common that we both grew up in Africa and are both (adult) third culture kids.

Christmas around the world.

Sorry to say I don't have much inspiration today, but I do want to wish you all a happy Christmas. So I will start by doing that in several different languages. On this website you can even hear how some are pronounced. As a third culture kid I grew up multilingual and I still enjoy hearing different languages being spoken around me.

• Prettige kerstdagen en een gelukkig nieuw jaar (that's in Dutch)
• Merry Christmas and a happy new year
• Noflike Krystdagen en folle lok en seine (Frisian, the language spoken in the North of the Netherlands. It's the language my grandparents spoke). It's my "father tongue".
• Joyeaux Noël et bonne année (French, the language I learned at school)
• Feliz Natal! Feliz Ano Novo! (Portuguese, the language my parents learned when they had passed the age of 50 years and were preparing to work in Angola).
• Hyvää joulua ja onnellista uutta vuotta (Finnish, just because the words look nice).
• Glædelig jul og godt nytår (Danish, it sounds nice) .

 Here is some interesting information about Christmas around the world: 

1. Did you know that the expats in Africa are most likely to make a call home at Christmas?
2. Want to read more about what Christmas looks like for third culture kids? Read Libby Stephens' post called: Christmas TCK style.
3. Did you know that: Christmas Day is just an ordinary day for most Chinese people. Sarah Crack is a teacher in Tianjin, China tells about it on the Telegraph website.
4. Want to know how Christmas is celebrated here in the Netherlands? Read about it on The Expatica website. 
5. For Dutch kids Sinterklaas is associated with getting presents. Read all about Sinterklaas on a previous blog post of mine.  
6. Do you want to see a fresh telling of the first Christmas (done by children)? Go over to the Third Culture Kids & company website. Enjoy.

Well as a third culture kid we celebrated Christmas many times in Malawi and Zimbabwe. My memories of those times are a mixture of English carol singing, church, pot luck meals (yummy! trifles and more), new made friends, swimming, eating, making music and of course a Christmas tree. Even though there was never snow!

• What are your Christmas memories? If you can say happy Christmas in an additional language please add it in the comments. Thanks.

Third culture kids: learning their mother tongue.

As I was on twitter tonight I realised that the tweets I was sending were mainly about language learning. So I thought that's what my blog post will be on today too. As you know I am an (adult) third culture kid. Born and raised in Africa but with Dutch blood. There are many advantages of growing up abroad but one of mine is that I was raised bilingually. We spoke Dutch at home and English at school. It was very tempting to mix English words into our "home" language but my parents had clear rules on that one. Especially when we as kids were quarreling we had a tendency to switch to English.

Now I am living in a Dutch environment but to this day I enjoy speaking English with by brothers and sister. We don't do it all the time but is feels so "comfortable". Even on the telephone we just switch from one language to the other.

It's good to have a family language plan. A language expert writes about it: Family Language Planning - A Tool For Success.

So what was my parents' plan? I'm not sure but here are a few things we did:

• Wrote Dutch letters to our family
• Sang Dutch children's songs, especially on long trips in the car! My mum knew lots of songs and loves singing. Songs like "Hansje Pansje Kevertje die klom eens op een hek..."
• Carried kilograms of children's books in our suitcases when returning back to Africa. This was in the time before you could order books through the internet.
• Were members of the children's library in Harare, Zimbabwe (that was 366 kilometres from Bulawayo where we lived).
• Had Dutch lessons during the holidays. As kids that was terrible, but now I am terribly grateful!
• Read many Dutch children's books.

I just want to encourage parents raising multilingual children. Please don't give up. I know it takes effort but know that in the long run your children will be grateful. Recently I have spoken to third culture kids who cannot speak their mother tongue well and they really regret it. A good site for information on this topic is Multilingual Living. Read this good advice on their website: 10 things you should NEVER say to your bilingual child.

Here's some food for thought on this topic:

1. Make language learning fun.
2. Don't listen to people who think that speaking the native language at home should be stopped.
3. Be patient. Being patient is the key for your child to build confidence in a second language.
4. Find material that helps with the language learning (like DVDs, computer games, books, CDs).

Want to read more? Bilingualism and growing up abroad.

Do you have thoughts on this topic? Parents do you have advice for other parents? Third culture kids do you have something to add? Please share your comments. (Photo thanks to Griet, Morgue file).

Bilingualism and Growing up Abroad

I just read Libby Stephens' blog  Bilingualism and Emotional Competency. I would like to encourage parents, educators and third culture kids to read her post. It is really full of information.

Libby writes that language is so often tied to identity. I really agree on this one. Many of you have probably read my story. I was born and bred in Africa. After living there for the first 19 years of my life, I left Zimbabwe and headed off to the Netherlands to study at university. All my years in Africa had not changed the colour of my blond hair and blue eyes. My passport too was Dutch. So even though I had never really lived there many people referred to me as the Dutch girl. Well let me tell you that "the Dutch girl" was so happy that her parents had made the effort to teach her to speak, read and write her own language: Nederlands (or Dutch).

During my time in Africa many hours of my holidays were spent learning Dutch. It was compulsory. My parents always ensured that we spoke Dutch in the home. You must understand that all my schooling was in English. In Malawi I attended international schools. Often it was very tempting to switch to English when I was playing with my siblings, but my parents kept their ears open.

We were encouraged to write letters in Dutch to our grandparents and extended family. My mother ensured a never-ending supply of Dutch children's books. In Harare, the capital of Zimbabwe there was a small library with Dutch children's books and so we would travel 366 km to get new library books. I am telling you this to show you the amount of effort needed to learn a language or to keep the language fluent.

I am so grateful that my parents encouraged us and made such an effort to teach us our family language. How would I have ever been able to communicate with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc if I had not been able to speak Dutch? Please parents make wise choices on this language issue. Seek expert advice, don't take the easy road. Remember language has everything to do with identity. Remember there is also a language of the heart.   

Every now and then I meet people who regret that their parents did not teach them to speak their home language. Well I could write another whole post on this subject but maybe I can summarize it in two main words: PAIN and REGRET.

Morgu file Vahiju

Recently I even read that bilingual brains are more healthy.  Canadian neuroscientist Ellen Bialystok finds that people who speak two languages cope significantly better with the disease. Even late-life language learning is beneficial, probably because it is way of keeping the brain active.

Some time ago I wrote a post in Dutch called taal.
I also wrote about the book Make Your Child Multilingual by Silke Rehman.This is my most recent post: Third culture kids learning their mother tongue.

Do you have advice on bilingualism or multilingualism? Do you have tips for parents? Did you grow up bilingually? What's your story? Please share it.

Boek "Make your child multilingual" geschreven door Silke Rehman

Ik ga even door op het thema "taal" waar ik gister mee begonnen ben. Het boek "Make your child multilingual" is geschreven door Silke Rehman. Dit is een werkboek voor ouders. Het is de bedoeling dat je er mee aan de slag gaat. Het boek stimuleert je met opdrachten om na te denken over hoe je je kind meertalig wilt opvoeden. Als je een boek met wetenschappelijke onderbouwing zoekt dan is dit niet het boek voor jou. Dit is een praktisch boek. In kleine kadertjes door het boek heen staan stukjes over de schrijfster haar eigen ervaring met tips erbij. In het boekje geeft de schrijfster 10 stappen tot succes.

Ze geeft onder andere antwoord op de volgende vragen:
- Is het erg als mijn kind de talen door elkaar spreekt?
- Als mijn kind dylexie heeft, wat dan?
- Wanneer  moet ik mijn kind leren het lezen en schrijven in de tweede taal?
En antwoord op nog veel meer vragen.
Silke heeft veel gezinnen geholpen om hun kinderen meertalig op te voeden. Zelf spreekt ze Duits, Engels, Frans en Spaans en een beetje Chinees en Arabisch.

Nederlandse informatie over meertaligheid is te vinden op de website kind en taal. Het is een website van de Nederlandse vereniging voor Logopedie en Foniatrie.

Meer informatie is te vinden op de website www.themlnetwork.com.

Er is ook een Engelstalige website www.multilingualchildren.org speciaal voor ouders die hun kinderen meertalig of tweetalig willen opvoeden.

Volgens het bovengenoemde boek is één van de succesfactoren volharding door de ouders. Succes.