Military Brats, Third Culture Kids: Children of the World?

Thanks goes to my friend Natasja, a third culture kid who sent me this poem. Now I can share it with you. Laura, the author of the poem is a military child, just like Natasja was. The children of military personnel are some times called military brats. It is a recognized term of cultural identity. Military brats fit into the description of third culture kids though there are some unique features of course.

I am amazed that a child of 11 years old can write a poem like this. What struck me too is that she mentions the themes third culture kids struggle with.

What are your thoughts after reading this poem?

More information:

• Militartfamily.org There is a free toolkit there for working with militarykids
• Militarybratlife.com

Research Project on Identity: Looking for (Adult) Third Culture Kids!

I received an email from Jo. She's looking for people who grew up abroad and returned to their passport country for university (like I did) or employment. I am posting her request because I am glad that there are people researching this topic. So whether you were an expat kid, a military brat, a diplomat kid, a missionary kid or maybe even an immigrant kid just respond. If you are the person she is looking for please send her an email! Thanks. Any researchers out there, please just keep the research coming and we're looking forward to hearing your conclusions.

"Third Culture Kids: Experiences of Identity Formation
She's conducting a study of Third Culture Kids (TCKs) returning ‘home’ for university or similar

What is the purpose of the study?
This study will focus on third culture kids (TCKs) who have returned to their parental passport country in the last 8 years to attend university or seek employment. The purpose of the study is to understand the experiences of TCKs returning to this country and look at the resources such as possesions, media, people and activities you have used to help you understand your identity.

Have you lived outside your parental passport country for at least four years?
Returned to you parental passport country for university or employment?
If YES she would like to hear from you
For more information on the study please contact:

Jo Withers: jo.withers2@googlemail.com

The research is being conducted as part of an MSc Psychology course at Oxford Brookes University"

Related topics:

• Third Culture Kids Going to University 
• The Most Difficult Transition for Third Culture Kids 
• Counselors Be Curious About Their Upbringing 

Reporting from EuroTCK in Germany

I am very privileged to be able to attend the Euro TCK conference in Germany at the moment. I will try and share some of the information I am hearing here. I have never been in a place where there are so many people interested in third culture kids and so many workshops about all kinds of topics related to third culture kids. To my delight the main speaker is Ruth van Reken, she is the co-author together with D.Pollock of the book "Third Culture Kids, Growing Up Among Worlds".

This morning Ruth talked about Living with change. One of the things her father always said was "unpack your bags and plant your trees". So make Sure you fully start living in the new place or country you have moved to.

We heard about how we learn about culture.


1. We learn the rules as children.
2. We test the rules as adolescents.
3. We internalize and operate the rules as adults.

As we grow up we learn about culture. Our family, our community and the place we live in serve as mirrors to us. A child form's their own identity by using these mirrors. What happens when children grow up internationally in many different places and countries is that these mirrors keep changing which makes it more complicated to form the own identity.

Once you do know how a culture works it gives us a sense of belonging, identity and confidence. We know how it works!

Ruth mentioned that there are 3 different ways children react when they enter a new culture.

1. The chameleon: tries to find "same as" identity.

Ruth van Reken at Eurotck 2013

2. The screamer: tries to find a "different from" identity.
3. The wallflower: tries to find the "non-identity", to be invisible.

We had a discussion during our session and some adult third culture kids said sometimes they were a chameleon but at other times they really wanted to be different and they acted more as the "screamer".

Tomorrow Ruth van Reken is speaking about growing through change.

Related Posts:
Guestblog an Ode to Third Culture Kids by Casey
I am from ....and where are you from?
An interview with graphic design student Jessica on her third culture kid book project

Interview with graphic design student Jessica Wen on her Third Culture Kid Book Project

Let me introduce you to Jessica Wen. She is the creative inspiration behind the "Third culture kids- Self Identity Accordion Books".

I came across the project on the internet and I am really enthusiastic about it. I am so glad Jessica agreed to tell us more about herself and her project.

1. I really love your TCK project. Each little book contains a unique story just as each third culture kid has a unique story. Please tell us about your project and how you came up with this idea?

Thank you very much for your encouragement. It really means a lot to me! I'm a junior graphic design student at the Maryland Institute College of Art (MICA), Baltimore, Maryland, United States. I started my TCK book project for a artist book class with Laurie Snyder— it was my final project for the semester, and I really wanted to make a project that speaks for my identity and my background; then... obviously, the TCK idea came to mind. 

I started the project by surveying myself and 4 other TCK friends regarding to each of our unique background. (Lived in how many countries/ speaks how many languages/ definition for being a TCK/ most belonged to which culture...etc.) 

And then, each person's story was individually made into their own mini accordion book. This set of 5 books were meant to view individually as well as together as a whole set. Each book's color, font, and layout were carefully considered base on each individual's personality. The cover for all books were hand cut (debossed) with the characters "TCK". The idea is that each TCK, on the surface level, looks just like an ordinary person with ordinary background. However, once the audience open the book— you started to see the unique international perspective and value. 

 

2. You are a third culture kid too. In which countries did you live and where are you now?

Yes, I am a TCK! I was born in Taipei, Taiwan (a lovely little subtropical island). My family moved to Germany when I was 3 &4, and then we moved to China when I was 5 &6. Then, I came to the United States for education by myself when I was 16 years old. Now I am still living in the US (Baltimore, Maryland). I am sure I will most likely move to a new country again in a few years, but I just dont know where just yet.... I am keeping my options open. 

 

3. What do you consider to be the advantages of growing up as a TCK?

This is actually a question on my TCK books, too.  

Personally, I think the absolute advantage of being a TCK is: Maturity, Independence, Understanding of others, world perspective, and being able to speak more than one language. 

4. What about the disadvantages? Have you experienced those?

Difficult to fit in different social expectation; lack of sense of belonging; culture-shock whenever going 'home'... Also, I call this an 'invisible mental switch' — it is like having multiple separate language system/ culture/ social value/ expectation in the back of the mind, and with one switch/ one plane ride... we, the TCKs, need to be able to change into a whole another person in order to 'fit in' with the locals.

5. When and how did you discover that you are a TCK?

The Book "Third Culture Kids, The Experience of Growing up Among Worlds" by David Pollock and Ruth van Reken was certainly one strong force to help me discover myself being a TCK. It is such a wonderful book— I remember I ordered the book from amazon, and as soon as I start reading the first few sentences on the first page... I told me friend who was sitting right next to me at the time "I think I am going to really enjoy this book...", and then, yes, I absolutely loved it.

6. What advice would you give to other TCKs?

Always remember— that there are many MANY of us out there! You are not alone! 

For my own experience, I never knew about term TCK until last year... and surprising, I then realized most of my friends are also TCKs (including my suite mates).

7. "The TCK is part of our identity. And there's def space for more art/ design!" these were the words you twittered to me. I agree completely but please share your ideas on this topic.

I think art/ design is all about expressing the artist's own special voice. 

With our current globalization trends, more and more children are raised as TCKs. Therefore, I think this will soon become a topic with higher awareness— which means, more people will want to express their own special voice through art/ design/ writing/ blogging/ or simply the daily conversations. 

However, I don't think any of these actions is about emphasizing the how special/ different the TCKs are... but rather, a simple act of sharing and exchanging ideas.

8. On Facebook I saw that expat parents wanted to have a nice little accordion book made for their child. I would actually like one too telling my unique story too. It's would be a great treasure. Will this just stay a project or will you expand on this idea? What do you think?

With all honestly, I never thought of expending this project beyond classroom before this interview… 

However, the more I think about it... I'm certainly interested in producing more TCK books based on each individual's unique story. I think its going to be a wonderful experience to meet new people, share my design skills, and even potentially bring in some income. I think its going to be great!! 

For those of you who are interested... send me an email at jwen@mica.edu, and let's discuss!

9. Are there new projects that you are working on at the moment?

At this point, I have about 5 projects going on at the same time, but nothing is directly TCK related... 

It is certainly a busy life style, but I love what I do, and its awesome! 

If you are interested in what I do as a designer, you can find me at the following places: 

Website: www.JWenDesign.com

Twitter: @JWenDesign

Tumblr: JwenDesign.tumblr.com

About Jessica on her website

10. Do you have any last words of encouragement? Or can you recommend interesting websites or books for third culture kids?

hmm, interesting TCK websites... 

I personally think Denizen Magazine is amazing (but I am sure everyone else knows it too). 

In terms of some last words... 

I just want to thank Janneke again for giving me this wonderful experience to talk about my work. I am deeply honored! :) 

 

                      *****************************************************************************************************************

Thanks again Jessica.

Would you like the story of your life in a small accordion book? Do you have any encouraging words for Jessica?

Guest blogger Lucia Bodeman Lets us know Where she is from!

I am excited to announce that Lucia Bodeman joined in the challenge I wrote about in my recent post "I am from....And Where are you from?" I met Lucia online and we have never actually met in real life, hopefully we will one day. Lucia is an ELT educator in Recife, Brazil. She is a fellow blogger at Lu Bodeman. We have more similarities. We both grew up as third culture kids, have some Dutch blood, and are constant learners. Lucia loves education, travelling, languages, and culture. If you want to join in the challenge too just post a comment and let me know. So over to Lucia.

I am from........

I am from Maracatu, Caipirinha and nice, warm tapiocas.
I am from the sandy beaches, with tropical reefs, high-rise buildings and the fresh smell of coffee.

I am from sugar cane plantations, giant lilipads, sweet cakes with guava cream, and listening to the sounds of the Bem-te-vi.
I am from mystical lands, where many religions unite and football is also a religion, from growing up in a family of different cultures, from Indonesia, Brazil with a deep admiration and love for the US of A.

I am from dancing, singing and scrapbooking, from recording memories and welcoming the New Year by jumping three times on the coast of Boa Viagem beach – for good luck.
I am from visiting different lands, learning and teaching different languages and trying to stay fit.
I am from the soft swaying of the ‘ciranda’, ‘churrascos and Capibaribe River.

I am from Recife, Los Angeles, Arcadia, Rio de Janeiro and the Netherlands. Culture defines who I am.
I am from peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, from 4^th of July celebrations and cranberry sauce at Thanksgiving. 

From rootbeer and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. From barbeques and sushi with friends. I am social.
I am from the warm waters of Recife, but not completely. I am also American, and Dutch. I am part of a multitude. Of colors, of experiences, of pride. I am a third culture kid.
A global citizen, looking for a place to call Home. Perhaps Home is within me. Wherever my people are. My family.
I am neither from here alone, nor there. I carry my three homes with me, because that is what makes me complete.
I am from my experiences, my family, my friends. And my spirit is free.

Third Culture Kids do you Dare to be Green?

In an earlier post Third Culture Kids Learning to be Themselves I had written about this poem but I had not posted the complete poem. I can really identify with the words so I did want to post the whole poem. My parents are from the blue country: the Netherlands and I grew up in the Yellow country. Well the yellow country for me would be the African culture or continent. The countries I lived in were: Zambia, Malawi and Zimbabwe. If you enjoy this poem and want to read more, read the poem "Who am I?" by my guest Marina Sofia, who was a third culture kid too.

By a 4 year old @DrieCulturen

Colors
by Whitni Thomas, MK

I grew up in a Yellow country
But my parents are Blue.
I'm Blue.
Or at least, that is what they told me.
But I play with the Yellows.
I went to school with the Yellows.
I spoke the Yellow language.
I even dressed and appeared to be Yellow.
Then I moved to the Blue land.
Now I go to school with the Blues.
I speak the Blue language.
I even dress and look Blue.
But deep down, inside me, something's Yellow.
I love the Blue country.
But my ways are tinted with Yellow.
When I am in the Blue land,
I want to be Yellow.
When I am in the Yellow land,
I want to be Blue.
Why can't I be both?
A place where I can be me.
A place where I can be green.
I just want to be green.

What about you. Do you dare to be Green? Do you enjoy being Green? Have you accepted that you are Green?

Related posts:

• A Third Culture Kid Speaking: "I'm not from Anywhere" 
• Counselors: Be curious about their upbringing....Third Culture Kids
• Book review of the book "Expat Teens Talk"
• I am all the places in which I've left my heart

I am all the places in which I've left my heart

I came across this poem called "TCK" it is written by someone who writes under the name Marina Sofia. I would encourage you to read her poem. I just love it. Sometimes words can say so much.

In the poem she asks: "Who am I?"
One of her answers is: "I am all the places in which I've left my heart".

Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe by Janneke @DrieCulturen

If that's true, then pieces of my heart are in Zambia, Malawi, Zimbabwe, Scotland (I studied there for a couple of months) and here in the Netherlands. Recently we were on holiday in Indonesia, I think I lost my heart to that country too. Life's complicated sometimes.

I often think that there is so much more to me than you can see on the outside.
There's a hidden story on the inside for those who are interested enough to find out, or to ask about it.
For some the stories are too much to handle.
Growing up far away is a life beyond your imagination.
For others it is an exotic, fascinating story.
Maybe you fantasize too much.

Maybe we all have hidden stories.
Even those who grow up near to their roots.
Maybe we all have a moment that we struggle with our identity.
What do you think?

I do have a story to tell about every place that I left a piece of my heart.
Do you want to hear them?
Maybe in the coming posts.....
Let me know what you want to hear about.
I want to let you know that I want to hear your story too.

Is this true for you? "I am all the places in which I've left my heart"

Related posts:

• How do transitions effect children?
• Children of the world, where are your roots?
• Heard of the magazine: Among Worlds?
• New book about TCKs: Writing out of Limbo

Neither here nor there...where do I belong?

 

"We all grew up in multiple countries

and multiple worlds,

the reasons are different 

and where we grew up is completely different

but we are united by this experience."

These are just a few words of the film "Neither here nor There" produced by Eman Ryan Yamazaki. The film is all about third culture kids, growing up among worlds. A trailer can be seen above. Clips of the film will be shown at The Families in Global Transition Conference (FIGT) 2012 in Washington this Friday 30th of March. The DVD of the film is for sale.

It's a documentary that explores cultural identity for people who have grown up in places other than their home culture, known as Third Culture Kids. Through the stories of six people, the film investigates the often overlooked effects on adults who had international upbringings, their struggles to fit in and an eternal search to belong. "Neither Here Nor There," explores the ideas of cultural identity. One person says: 

"I am a confusion of cultures, uniquely me"

As you know I was a third culture kid too. I have been thinking about the trailer of the film. I can identify with the people in the film. Their story is just like mine. The following words are my thoughts on this topic.

The past I cannot change,

the future I can try to influence

the present I can make the most of

but most of all I want to accept myself, just the way I am.

I will be happy just because I'm ME.

Mix together a little of these countries: the Netherlands, Zambia, Malawi and Zimbabwe.

Stir well

Add lots of sunshine

Allow to mature

Sprinkle with some tears

Enjoy the result: ME.

What are your thoughts on this topic? 

Related posts:

• Cultural identity confusion and third culture kids
• The downside of growing up as a third culture kid
• Children of the world: where are your roots?
• Third culture kids learning to be themselves
• Aga Magdolen's TCK film "Les Passagers"

Vragen over wat third culture kids zijn en over identiteit.

Laatst kreeg ik een email van een medewerker van My Heritage blog met een aantal vragen over wat een third culture kid is. Inmiddels hebben zij een blog bericht over "Third culture kids" geplaatst. Zij hebben een leuk stukje over Jutta König geschreven. Hier heb ik ook al eens geschreven over een artikel van Jutta König.
Ik ben blij dat er steeds meer aandacht komt (ook in Nederland) voor third culture kids. Ik was wel nieuwsgierig wat My Heritage.com precies is.

Hier komt het "MyHeritage.com is gesticht door een team van mensen met een passie voor genealogie en een goede kennis van de internettechnologie. Wij willen mensen overal ter wereld helpen om de kracht van het internet te gebruiken om hun verleden te ontdekken en hun banden met familie en vrienden te versterken."

Deze vragen werden aan mij gesteld en hier zijn mijn antwoorden, ik vond het goeie vragen vandaar dat ik ze ook met jullie wil delen.

Wat is volgens u een TCK?
Een third culture kid is iemand die een deel van zijn jeugd in een andere cultuur heeft doorgebracht. Je kunt denken aan kinderen van diplomaten, militairen, zendelingen, ontwikkelingswerkers, tropenartsen, emigranten maar ook van vluchtelingen enz. Ik ben van mening dat er in toenemende mate third culture kids zullen opgroeien. Tegenwoordig kunnen wij veel makkelijker reizen en is emigreren makkelijker dan jaren geleden.

Hoe heeft u het leven in diverse landen ervaren?

Ik ben geboren in Zambia en heb tot dat ik naar de universiteit ging in Malawi en Zimbabwe gewoond. Ik heb goeie herinneringen aan mijn jeugd. Wij hadden avontuurlijk vakanties: beklommen mount Mulanje in Malawi, zwommen in het meer van Malawi, gingen op safari in een wildpark enz. Ik heb altijd Engelstalig onderwijs gehad, voornamelijk op international schools. Met enige regelmaat gingen wij op verlof naar Nederland.

Heeft u door dit leven problemen ervaren met uw identiteit?

Ja dat wel. Ik voelde mij in Afrika erg Nederlands met mijn blonde haren en blauwe ogen. Wij vierde sinterklaas thuis en spraken over Nederland als "thuis". De schok kwam toen ik als 19 jarige zelfstandig naar de universiteit ging in Nederland. Ik kwam erachter dat ik er misschien wel uitzag als een Nederlander maar ik voelde mij veel meer een "African". Inmiddels heb ik begrepen dat ze dat ook wel een "verborgen immigrant" noemen. Niemand kon aan mij zien dat ik mij helemaal niet thuis voelde in Nederland. Ik kende de grapjes niet, de TV series, de normen en waarden. Het was zo verwarrend en een hele eenzame tijd.

Op mijn blog heb ik er iets over geschreven: Waar kom je vandaan? Hier kan je ook meer lezen over terugkeer. Wat mij geholpen heeft is het lezen van het boek "Third Culture Kids, the experience of growing up among worlds" geschreven door David Pollock en Ruth van Reken. Ik kwam er achter dat er niks mis was met mij maar dat mijn verwarring alles te maken had met mijn levenservaringen en het opgroeien in andere culturen. Het was zo herkenbaar, heerlijk. Wat een verademing. Ik hoop erg dat er meer bekendheid in Nederland komt over third culture kids daarom ben ik ook mijn blog DrieCulturen begonnen. Ik denk dat de informatie in dat boek veel mensen kan helpen.

Voelt u zich Nederlander?
Ja ik voel mij Nederlander maar toen ik jaren geleden met het vliegtuig aankwam in Zimbabwe weet ik dat ik op het moment dat ik uit het vliegtuig stapte en de geur op snoof en de warmte voelde wist "dit is thuis", dit voelt zo goed. Mogelijk voel ik mij dus ook wereldburger. Ik bloei op met mensen van meerdere culturen om mij heen. Daar geniet ik echt van.
Ik wil nog iets toevoegen. Ik ben erg blij dat mijn ouders mij Nederlands hebben leren spreken en schrijven. Ik denk wel dat taal en identiteit verweven zijn. Lees hier meer over op mijn blog bericht over taal. Ik heb op mijn blog een aantal voorbeelden van Nederlanders die een deel van hun jeugd in een andere cultuur gewoond hebben, (TCKs).

Voor diegene die dit lezen en in het buitenland opgegroeid zijn: Voel jij je een Nederlander of een wereldburger. Hoe was het om terug naar Nederland te komen? Waar liep je tegen aan?

Children of the world. Where are your roots?

While searching on the internet I came across this nice film. I like it because it is about third culture kids in the Netherlands. I hope you enjoy watching "Children of Roots 2: Eindhoven Trailer".

This film has been made by Ritti Soncco. She is a writer, performer and filmmaker. She is an (adult) third culture kid. She was born in Peru, spent her childhood in Nigeria and she currently lives in Southern Germany. The film has been made in coloration with the International School in Eindhoven, the Netherlands.  

"The potato Ochoa continues the search for his roots... On his travels around the world, he meets the students of the International School of Eindhoven.

12 international students and 2 international teachers tell him their stories... Where is home? What does it mean to be "international"? If we grow up among many cultures, where do we have our roots?"

If you want to enjoy it to the full you should really watch Ritti Sonocco her earlier film called "Children of Roots Trailer". This is what part 1 is about:  

"The little potato Ochoa awakes one day in a German potato field. Confused about being so far away from home, he explores the city of Ulm, where he befriends three South American women and asks them how they live in a foreign country without forgetting their roots and culture. He then decides to return to Peru to seek out the home he once knew and ask his fellow Peruvians if they would ever consider emigrating from their country.

A puppet-documentary on the nature of home, integration and cultural heritage. Dedicated to the potato scientist, Dr Carlos Ochoa."

I love the creativity of third culture kids. Thank you Ritti Sonocco for your lovely documentaries!

Do you want to watch more films about third culture kids? Have you seen Aga Madolen's "Les Passagers"? It's really worth watching. Have you found your roots? Are you searching for them? Do you have advice for others in search of their roots?

Ontdekken dat je een "Third Culture Kid" bent.

Tegenwoordig zijn er steeds meer kinderen die opgroeien in andere culturen. Op mijn werk is er pas een collega vertrokken naar Australië met 3 kinderen. Een vriendin uit mijn studie tijd woont en werkt in Mexico met haar man en 3 kinderen. Andere bekenden zijn dit jaar vertrokken naar Peru met 4 kinderen. Het reizen gaat steeds makkelijker en door de mogelijkheden van internet lijken de internationale grenzen steeds meer te vervagen. Zelf ben ik geboren in Zambia en heb ik als kind in Malawi en Zimbabwe gewoond. Ik heb eerder al een blog geschreven: Waar kom je vandaan? Het gaat over mijn begin tijd hier in Nederland.

Doordat wij steeds meer en makkelijker internationaal verhuizen ben ik van mening dat het aantal kinderen dat buiten zijn of haar eigen paspoort land opgroeit alleen maar zal toenemen. Deze groep kinderen hebben de naam third culture kids gekregen. Ze hebben een deel van hun ontwikkelingsjaren doorgebracht in een andere cultuur (dus meestal in één of meer landen). Ik heb nog geen goede Nederlandse vertaling voor het woord third culture kids gevonden. Ze worden wel eens derde-cultuur-kinderen genoemd maar persoonlijk vind ik dat geen mooie term.

Laatst kwam ik een artikel tegen over de fases die je doormaakt bij het ontdekken dat je een third culture kid bent. Het spraak mij wel aan en ik zal het hier kort toelichten. Ik heb deze fases zelf ook doorgemaakt maar op dat moment had ik het zelf natuurlijk helemaal niet door. Meestal is het moment dat je ontdekt dat je een third culture kid bent ergens in je tienertijd of iets daarna.

1. De fase voordat je iets over third culture kids weet, onwetendheid

Ik heb veel fijne herinneringen aan deze tijd: kamperen in Zimbabwe, vuurtjes stoken tijdens het kamperen, mount Mulanje beklimmen in Malawi, zwemmen in het meer van Malawi, veel verschillende kinderen in mijn klas op de internationale school. Wij moesten wel regelmatig verhuizen en afscheid nemen maar dat deden de andere "expats" om ons heen ook. Het was dus normaal in mijn beleving. "Anders zijn" was ook normaal.
  
2. De ontdekking dat je een third culture kid bent

Dit gebeurde bij mij toen ik het boek "Growing up Among Worlds" van David Pollock en Ruth van Reken aan 't lezen was. Het was zo'n aha moment. Opeens begreep ik mijzelf beter. Opeens lag het niet aan mij, maar hadden de gevoelens die ik had, de eenzaamheid, het onzekerheid ook te maken met mijn verleden. Het had te maken met het opgroeien in andere culturen/landen. Ik kwam er achter dat ik niet de enige was die deze gevoelens had. Er waren meer third culture kids! Het was een gevoel van opluchting.
Ik werd mij ook meer bewust van de nadelen van het opgroeien in het buitenland.

3. Aanpassen aan je nieuwe identiteit

Ik werd mij meer bewust van de voordelen van het opgroeien in andere landen. Zie ook mijn eerder bericht over de 10 voordelen van het opgroeien in het buitenland. Ik ben gaan nadenken over hoe ik mijn culturele gevoeligheid meer zou kunnen gebruiken in mijn toekomst.

4. Het integreren van het "third culture kid" zijn in jezelf en verder gaan.

In deze fase ben je minder bezig met "het anders zijn", met je identiteit als third culture kid en nu begrijp je dat deze term ook niet alles verklaard. Het is de fase van accepteren en verder gaan. Zelf keuzes maken, vrede sluiten met je verleden en je heden. Niet zo naar de verschillen kijken maar naar de overeenkomsten tussen mensen.

Hey it's Johnny C heeft in het Engels over deze 4 fases van ontdekking geschreven.

Kijk hier naar een kort filmpje "Les Passagers" het gaat over third culture kids (TCKs).
Hier legt Libby Stephens in een korte video uit wat third culture kids precies zijn. Zij heeft al meer dan 25 jaar ervaring met het werken met TCKs.

Ik ben erg benieuwd of jullie deze fases herkennen? Hoe was het voor jou? Zou je hier op willen reageren? Heb je advies voor anderen?

Cultural Identity Confusion and Third Culture Kids

Recently I entered the world called Twitter, it is may be something like the "expat bubble", if you're in it you know exactly what I am talking about but if you have never been part of that world it all seems so foreign. Well that's what I had with the world called Twitter. I seemed to have convinced myself that I could not understand the twitter language. After hearing someone speak about the great advantage of combining a blog with being active on twitter, I was convinced. I was going to dive into this new world and conquer. In the beginning I had some culture shock problems. I had no idea what the hashtags mean. I only just discovered that #ff means #followfriday. So on Friday people twitter that giving suggestions who to follow. Wow, I'm never too old to learn and neither are you! By the way if you want to follow me on twitter find me @DrieCulturen.

So while I was in the twitter world I came across this interesting quote.

It is a quote by Libby Stephens :  

"In the 25+ years of working with third culture kids, I don't find cultural identity confusion to be a big issue until the TCKs return to their passport country"

The quote resonates in my heart because it is exactly my experience. There was no problem in my life until I went to the Netherlands to study when I was 19 years old. So what was the confusion?

Suddenly I discovered that I looked Dutch but did not feels Dutch. No that's not quite right. I did feel Dutch. I mean while I lived in Africa I felt Dutch. It was only when I lived with the Dutch in the Netherlands that I discovered that I looked the same but I felt different. Inside me I longed for Africa and I thought maybe I look Dutch but am African on the inside?

Earth by PSchubert Morgue file

At my secondary school in Zimbabwe I was called the "foreigner". On my identity card in Zimbabwe it said "alien". It really is a great feeling, being 16 years old and being called an "alien". Sorry folks this is not a made up story, this is real life. Are you starting to see where the confusion stepped into my life. Recently I discovered that there is a word that described me. I was a "hidden immigrant". TCKid.com says hidden immigrants look alike but think different. So things only got better: from foreigner, to alien, now a hidden immigrant. Later I discovered that I was a ATCK too...

You can read an important book by Kay Branaman Eakin called "According to my passport I'm coming Home" (free download here). It contains lots of information on third culture kids returning to their passport countries. What are the challenges?

Read my Dutch post about retuning home: terugkeer, re-entry, help!

Did you or your kids experience cultural confusion, and in what way?

Bilingualism and Growing up Abroad

I just read Libby Stephens' blog  Bilingualism and Emotional Competency. I would like to encourage parents, educators and third culture kids to read her post. It is really full of information.

Libby writes that language is so often tied to identity. I really agree on this one. Many of you have probably read my story. I was born and bred in Africa. After living there for the first 19 years of my life, I left Zimbabwe and headed off to the Netherlands to study at university. All my years in Africa had not changed the colour of my blond hair and blue eyes. My passport too was Dutch. So even though I had never really lived there many people referred to me as the Dutch girl. Well let me tell you that "the Dutch girl" was so happy that her parents had made the effort to teach her to speak, read and write her own language: Nederlands (or Dutch).

During my time in Africa many hours of my holidays were spent learning Dutch. It was compulsory. My parents always ensured that we spoke Dutch in the home. You must understand that all my schooling was in English. In Malawi I attended international schools. Often it was very tempting to switch to English when I was playing with my siblings, but my parents kept their ears open.

We were encouraged to write letters in Dutch to our grandparents and extended family. My mother ensured a never-ending supply of Dutch children's books. In Harare, the capital of Zimbabwe there was a small library with Dutch children's books and so we would travel 366 km to get new library books. I am telling you this to show you the amount of effort needed to learn a language or to keep the language fluent.

I am so grateful that my parents encouraged us and made such an effort to teach us our family language. How would I have ever been able to communicate with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc if I had not been able to speak Dutch? Please parents make wise choices on this language issue. Seek expert advice, don't take the easy road. Remember language has everything to do with identity. Remember there is also a language of the heart.   

Every now and then I meet people who regret that their parents did not teach them to speak their home language. Well I could write another whole post on this subject but maybe I can summarize it in two main words: PAIN and REGRET.

Morgu file Vahiju

Recently I even read that bilingual brains are more healthy.  Canadian neuroscientist Ellen Bialystok finds that people who speak two languages cope significantly better with the disease. Even late-life language learning is beneficial, probably because it is way of keeping the brain active.

Some time ago I wrote a post in Dutch called taal.
I also wrote about the book Make Your Child Multilingual by Silke Rehman.This is my most recent post: Third culture kids learning their mother tongue.

Do you have advice on bilingualism or multilingualism? Do you have tips for parents? Did you grow up bilingually? What's your story? Please share it.

Flexibiliteit en medeleven van een TCK

Graslei, centrum Gent, België

Mijn zus is pas verhuisd vanuit Canada naar België. Dat was haar elfde verhuizing – geloof ik. België is het 7^e land dat zij nu thuis gaat noemen. Terwijl zij een tijdje geleden druk bezig was met inpakken las zij op deze blog dat “vaak verhuizen” boven aan de lijst stond van nadelen van de (a)TCK ervaring. Dat zette haar tot nadenken. Het is een voorrecht dat zij mijn eerste gastblogger zal zijn. Welkom en bedankt. Ik hoop in de toekomst vaker gasten hier aan het woord te laten komen. Hier volgt deel 1 van haar bijdrage Verhuizen als voordeel.

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Als TCK ben ik mij in meerdere landen thuis gaan voelen. Al de verschillende culturen hebben toegevoegd aan de vorming van mijn persoon, de gewoontes en tradities waar ik mij mee identificeer. Een TCK heeft een flexibele identiteit waarmee je medeleven kan tonen aan hele verschillende mensen en dat zie ik als voordeel.

Blue Jays stadion- Rogers Centre Toronto

In de week vóór mijn meest recente verhuizing ben ik nog naar een honkbal wedstrijd geweest van de Toronto BlueJays. Ze speelde tegen een Amerikaans team en van te voren – traditie getrouw – werd zowel de Canadese als het Amerikaans volkslied gezongen. De tekst werd geprojecteerd op een scherm in het stadion en ik hou van zingen dus ik zong allebei mee. Niet omdat ik mij nou ontzettend verbonden voel met die nationaliteiten maar wel uit respect. Een volkslied heeft een plechtige waarde die ik op veel plaatsen in de wereld in grote en kleine ceremonies heb mogen ervaren. Niet meezingen vind ik altijd een beetje brutaal – en je ziet het zo vaak, vooral bij sport evenementen.

Ik raakte aan de praat met een aantal toeristen waar ik naast zat en tijdens een pauze vroeg iemand waarom ik allebei de volksliederen meezong. Goeie vraag. Toen ik uitlegde dat ik Nederlandse was en geboren in Malawi begreep de desbetreffende dame er nog minder van. Er is geen enkel volkslied dat ik helemaal uit mijn hoofd ken, wel zijn er vijf of zes die ik aardig mee kan zingen!

Ik zing mee omdat ik mij wil verbinden met het moment en de mensen om mij heen. Door mee te zingen hoop ik waardering te uiten voor de plechtigheid, voor het samen zijn. Dat betekent niet dat ik het eens ben met alles waar deze staten voor staan. Ik kan mij voorstellen dat je als Canadees of Amerikaan op deze manier de honkbalspelers bemoedigd. Ik kan mij voorstellen… Het is een manier om mijn inlevingsvermogen die over de jaren door vele verhuizingen gecultiveerd is te uiten.

Schrijver Adriaan van Dis vat het voor mijn gevoel goed samen. Hij heeft het in zijn boek Tikkop (2010) hier niet specifiek over TCKs maar ik voelde mij aangesproken. Jij ook?

“Zwjimelaars waren het, aanstellers die grote complotten vermoedden, maar toch leerde hij van die mensen: ze maakte zijn wereld groter, verpletterde hokjes in zijn kop. Je kon in twee, drie landen leven, ook als je niet rijk was, en in meerdere culturen. Tussen fluweel en schuurpapier. Het decor bepaalde je rol. Als je niet precies wist wie je was, moest je zo nu en dan een ander kunnen zijn.”