Showing posts with label identity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label identity. Show all posts

Thursday, 29 November 2018

Shaping Identity between Cultures: A Documentary Concert

On the 1st and 2nd of december 2018 there was an exciting Documentary Concert called Wings & Roots it took place at De Balie in Amsterdam. In this documentary-concert Andrea Voets and the musicians explored the hidden implications of existing-between-worlds on life and identity.

On Saturday the 15th of June 2019 at 9pm a film of the concert will be shown in Leiden at the Vrijplaats.

Andrea Voets is a harpist and a musical journalist. She has brought together a group of third culture musicians. The four musicians carry 12 countries within them. They are guided by the transcultural psychiatrist Glenn Helberg. The questions they hope to answer is:

"How can you find a sense of self when you always relate but never belong?"

"How can you piece it all together?"

After both concerts there will be room for discussion.


In 2016 Andrea Voets made the documentary-concert Xenitia on migration. It contained the testimonies of 18 Greek migrants. The show went on tour in Europe.

I have been wondering about the above questions. They are one of the reasons this blog exists. Personally I had never heard of musical journalism but I am open to discover more about it. I read that musical journalism is a voice beyond words, that sounds very interesting!

Related topics:

- What do you say to your third culture kids?
- Interview with Jessica Wen on her third culture kid identity books
- Neither here nor there - where do I belong?
- Cultural Identity Confusion and Third Culture Kids

Wednesday, 2 August 2017

Where are the male expat or third culture kid voices?

Recently I heard that the Families in Global Transition conference in 2018 will be held in the Netherlands again. This is good news because if it is so near to home there is more chance that I will be able to attend. At the 2017 conference we heard that the next conference would be in Asia, which meant attending would be more of a challenge for me. The FIGT conference will be held in the Hague, the Netherlands from the 8th to the 10th of March 2018, mark your calenders and maybe we can meet up there. It will be the 20th anniversary next year so it promises to be a great conference. The theme of the conference is Diverse voices celebrating the past, present, and future of globally mobile lives. If you want to submit a proposal it is due before 15th september 2017. First time conference attendees can apply for a Pollock Scholarship, check this link for more information.

On the FIGT website I saw this: The guiding question when considering the applications is, "Who is missing at the FIGT table?"  They are looking for a diverse field of applicants from each of our traditional sectors, (including corporate, diplomatic, academic, military, mission, arts and entrepreneurial) plus voices not well represented, such as those involved in immigration and refugee work, an increase in male voices, and participants from all parts of the globe.

I noticed that the FIGT organizers want an increase voices not well represented including an increase in male voices. While searching the internet this week I noticed two stories both by (adult) third culture kid males so I do want to share these stories. The first story is by Chris Aslan. Chris was born in Turkey, lived in Lebanon and returned to the UK for schooling. He later lived in Uzbekistan, Tajikistan and Kyrgyzstan. His whole story "Both and Neither: Exploring my Third Culture Kid Identity" can be read here. He writes about feeling in between cultures and not really belonging to either. I like his conclusion. 

"There have been times when I’ve felt a stranger in both cultures, but gradually I’ve learnt to feel at home in both. I’ve discovered that I’m a pretty good bridge that others can use to walk along to have their horizons broadened and to meet people they might not otherwise have met. I’m letting my character and values to be shaped by the best of both cultures. It’s not always as comfortable as being one thing or another, but embracing the concept of ‘both’ is really good, and that’s better than being comfortable."

Marilyn Gardner writes the same in her Thoughts on Entry, Reentry and Third Culture Kids. She says that as third culture kids we should accept that we are a combination of worlds. 

Joshua tells us his own story. He now lives in Suriname but he grew up in many different countries: Egypt, Singapore, and China. He tells about the culture shock he had when he moved to China. He shares what he learnt by growing up abroad. Please listen to his story,  it will take you less than 6 minutes.


Thank you Chris and Joshua for sharing your stories. Will you consider joining us at the Families in Global Transition Conference this March here in the Netherlands? We want to hear more male third culture kid stories. Please let us hear your voices. Come and join us. Do you know male third culture kids or are you one? Let's hear your voice.

Related Posts:

Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Interesting interview with Rachel Cason, adult third culture kid, researcher

I am glad to introduce Rachel Cason to you. We met each other a few years ago at a EuroTCK conference
in Germany. When we met she was doing research, she has agreed to answer a few questions specially for you.

 1. Would you tell us a little about yourself?
Hi! Well, I'm an adult TCK, a missionary kid to be exact. I was born and raised in West Africa until the age of 16, when my family "returned" to England to settle there indefinitely. After finishing the last two year of my school education, I took a gap year, working with children with additional needs. I went to Keele university to study French and Sociology, and enjoyed a couple of study abroad opportunities in that time also. In my Masters year I got married, and during my doctoral studies I had my beautiful daughter. Sadly, my marriage was not a happy one, and during my maternity leave my husband and I divorced. I suppose my life has been full of transitions, reaching beyond my childhood years! My daughter starts school this September, so that's another transition for us at the moment!

2. Can tell us about your research?
My thesis examines the ways in which the experiences of Third Culture Kids, or the children of expatriates, impacts upon their adult notions of belonging, identity, and relationship to place. It was prompted by a professor in my final year, who spotted research potential for this relatively understudied population after I did a research project exploring whether or not TCKs should merit consideration as disaporic. Typically, migration research has ignored TCKs, focussing instead on groups united by nationality or ethnicity. I wanted to explore the shared experiences of TCKs as originating in a shared expatriate culture.

3. For what degree did you do your research?
My PhD in Sociology, at Keele University.

4. What is your main conclusion?
This was an exploratory, qualitative study, rather than a quantitative one, so I have no concise statistics to sum things up with :) My main conclusions establish that rather than being rootless, TCKs are very much rooted in an expatriate, organisational culture. I suggest that there are characteristics and shared experiences that reach across expatriate organisations, be they military, business or missionary, and that these shared experiences have a huge impact on the development of TCKs sense of belonging, identity and place. Rather than observing that TCKs all share similar characteristics, I note that while many TCKs share similar worldviews, they are more likely to be reacting to the same experiences, than all reacting in similar ways to those experiences. In other words, there is a TCK culture, rather than a TCK personality. It's hard to narrow findings down, for fear of oversimplifying complex human experiences, but broadly; -

In terms of belonging, I found that TCKs often feel most comfortable in situations in which there is high diversity, and in which they may represent the ethnic minority; such a situation reflects their earliest experiences of culture as mediated by their expatriate organisations. TCKs were often found at the margins of society, often engaging constructively with their marginality (reaching out to other marginals, for example), yet some experienced deep isolation in their marginality.
In terms of identity, I observed many TCKs struggled as adults with the idea that they were getting better at 'blending in' to their passport culture. As 'perpetually unique' children, adult TCKs may need to find new ways in adulthood to express their individuality. For many TCKs, their adult careers proved a means through which they could negotiate their relationship with a local and global world. Nationality is an ambivalent identity, too restrictive for many, and yet crucial in understanding a TCK's experiences in their host country as national identification often mediated their interactions with that country(ies).
In terms of place, my findings counter suggestions that TCKs were 'placeless' and/or didn't find places meaningful or relevant, due to their high mobility. Rather, I found that TCKs had a keen emotional connection with place, and that it is possible that the presence of high mobility in adult TCKs may be a case of feeling propelled towards pepetual movement, rather than their making an active choice between settledness or mobility. Indeed, I suggest that of the many skill sets absorbed by many TCKs growing up in expatriate communities, being able to (or seeing the value of settling) is one that may be lacking.

5. How was it to hear so many TCK stories?
It was an absolute joy and privilege! It was striking though, that for many it seemed to be the first time they'd had this opportunity. We often tell stories from our lives to those around us, but very rarely do we tell the whole story, from beginning to present-day. It seemed a cathartic experience for many. This in itself made me feel the responsability of honouring the stories gifted to me so generously.

6. How did doing the research influence you?
It inspired me to try and find a way to meet the needs of the people I had spoken to. I was not able to do this directly; as a researcher this was beyond my remit. But for the many TCKs like them, I wanted to make sure that my research could be applicable to their lives in a way that would both validate and equip them to meet any challenges they may be facing.

7. What TCK research still needs to be done?
I would like to see more research on the gendered experiences of TCKs; the ways in which experiences in multiple host countries may be wildly different depending upon the gender of the TCK. This may be because of host cultural norms about the presence of men and women in public spaces, for example, or it may be that the gendered narratives of the expatriate organisations in which TCKs are raised merit examination in their own right. Gender is such a basic way in which we interpret personal and public identity, I feel this focus would illuminate the TCK experience hugely.

8. You have decided to start Life Story, tell us about it.
Life Story uses the life story interview as a therapeutic tool. In this way I directly apply my research experience to the process, both in the structure of the interview, and in the subsequent analysis of the interview. Life Story work offers the space to narrate and reflect on one's life story, and analysis of this interview focusses on connecting the past with the present through the emergence of particular patterns and themes.
This process can help anyone struggling to move forward positively in their lives to unlock past patterns of thinking and behaviours that may hold the key to a more empowered future. In this way, Life Story aims to encourage a more settled sense of self, one that is grounded in a full understanding of the past, but whose future is not limited by its history. 
I work with both TCKs and non-TCKs, and life story process is helpful for anyone seeking to find clarity in a fragmented history. I offer sessions by Skype primarily, although some face to face sessions may be possible also should clients be able to travel to Lincoln, England. 

9. Why do you think that telling your life story works for TCKs?
I think that TCKs especially find that their life stories get chopped up and fragmented, their revelation dependent on the appropriate audience or country. The life story interview offers an opportunity to bring all those fragments together in one place, and in so doing, offers an opportunity to gather all our fragmented selves together also. This in itself is a healing process, and also an empowering one, as it becomes possible to make connections between the 'chapters' of our lives that shed light on our current situations and challenges. Increased understanding of these connections then paves the way for positive changes that can move us forward, where we have felt stuck or without focus.

10. What advice would you give those who want to do research?
Stick at it! And follow the truths emergent in your work. Research is a lonely furrow, and it is easy to get discouraged. But though your work will not resonate with everyone, it will matter, and it adds to a body of knowledge and extends the voices that can be heard. That is hugely valuable in and of itself. 

11. What advice would you give TCKs in general?
I've typed an answer to this a few times, and then deleted it. I suppose I'm finding this one tricky because, at heart, I believe
that beyond any profiling or shared characteristics, TCKs are individuals first. Deeply distinct individuals. And I couldn't presume to ever give a group of individuals the same advice. Except this. Be you first, a TCK second. Understanding your TCK experiences and their impact is crucial to this. Otherwise it can be easy to mistake our tendencies for our desires. Unless we can root our 'selves' in a conscious vision for what we want our lives to look like, we will instead be driven by our tendencies, which may or may not coincide with our long term goals.

12. Any last comments?
Thank you so much for the opportunity to be interviewed! And just that if anyone has any queries or questions at all about Life Story, do get in touch. I am happy to reply to any emails of this nature, and anyone interested in the process is entitled to a free hour consultation by Skype to work through if life story work is something that might benefit them.

If you want to contact Rachel you can email her: rachelcason@explorelifestory.com
Or you can visit her website: www.explorelifestory.com Thank you so much for sharing about yourself and your research.

Readers have you had opportunities to tell people the whole story? What was it like?

Friday, 18 October 2013

I'm not a tourist but I 'm not really Dutch either...

With a suitcase, a really full bag, my viola with a tennis racket strapped onto it I board the plane. Alone. Depature was from Harare, Zimbabwe and the destination Schiphol international airport. Arrival time a fresh morning in May. Blond, blue eyes, nineteen years old, the start of an adventure called: going to university in Holland. Was I an international student? Was I Dutch?

One thing was certain even though I spoke Dutch I did not really understand the Dutch. I thought I knew what I should know. I thought I would be able to understand the ways of the Dutch. What a major culture shock! The wierd thing was that I had not expected a culture shock at all. In the meantime I have survived and started to thrive here so I have some advice for you.

10 tips to survive and thrive in the Netherlands:
  1. Buy a bicycle. It's an easy way to integrate, do as the Dutch do. If you are sensible you will buy some
    At Keukenhof by DrieCulturen 
    good "fietstassen" (bicycle bags) too. Mine are one of the best investments I have ever made. They have served me so well I could write a whole post just about my "fietstassen".
  2. If you are serious about learning Dutch get a button "Spreek Nederlands! met mij!" and pin it on your jacket. Otherwise people start speaking English to you when they hear your accent or hear you struggling to speak Dutch.
  3. Buy a museumkaart which gives you free entry to nearly 400 museums all over the country. To give you an idea there are more than 30 museums in Amsterdam which you can visit with the card.
  4. If you have a garden plant some tulip bulbs, it will make spring even more exciting. You can plant them now between September and December. I mean it is the country of the tulips so why not let them flower in your garden.
  5. Make sure you know how to flush the toilet. There are many different kind of toilets here. Sometimes you need to push a button or pull on a chain. There are even bloggers that write about the toilet here: everything you never wanted to know about Dutch toilets.
  6. When going to a Dutch birthday party remember to congratulate all the family members too, it's what you do here.
  7. If you want to start a conversation while waiting in a queue just start talking about the weather. In the beginning I was irritated about the fact that everyone complained about the weather and was always talking about the weather but it is just a way to start a conversation. What a revelation!  
  8. Start cycling just for fun. There are nearly 35 thousand kilometres of cycle paths in our country. It is the cyclist friendliest country in the world. Discover the cycling culture! Even the BBC wonders why cycling is so popular in the Netherlands? Do you need suggestions for your cycling adventure? If so check this website Nederland Fietsland. 
  9. Taste the local food like stroopwafels, drop (liquorish) and herring. Did you that herring is the thing the Dutch miss most when they live abroad?
  10. Make a local friend and spend time together.
Now back to the question about where I'm from. The answer is a complicated one. I am not a tourist but I am not really Dutch either. I was born and bred in Africa but I have a Dutch passport. When I came to my "passport country" I suffered from a culture shock. I now know I was a hidden immigrant at the time. I looked very Dutch but I thought differently. My identity had been formed by all the years I had lived in Africa. Even though I spoke Dutch at home I did not know the sayings and the slang words. I easily connect with expats and internationally minded people, actually I love being in an environment with people from different nationalities. Years ago I discovered that I was a "third culture kid". That discovery helped me understand my confusion. It gave words to my feelings. I am a member of the "third culture kid" tribe. Actually I am a global citizen living in the Netherlands at the moment. In Dutch we would say "een wereldburger".

Just in case you have never heard of the term "third culture kids" it refers to a person who has spent a
At Madurodam by DrieCulturen

significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ culture, like I did. The TCK frequently builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any.

Moving to the Netherlands years ago was the start of my new adventure. I hope you meet as many interesting people as I have here, I hope you become addicted to cycling like I did. I hope you not only survive but thrive in the land of the clogs and tulips. Do you have any survive and thrive tips? Please share them here.

If you enjoy this blog would you take a couple of minutes and vote for my blog in the I'm not a tourist expat blog competition. Voting closes 30 October 2013. So time is short. Thank you for your support.

Sunday, 6 October 2013

Will therapy be the place a third culture kid finds their voice?

Once again the internet has helped me find some research on third culture kids. This time it is a thesis on the subject "Third Route Kids: A New Way of Conceptualizing the Adult Third Culture Kid Experience" by Tamara Lynn Williams at the University of British Columbia (February 2013).

I want to quote part of her research. I know she writes specifically about the therapeutic setting but there are some great themes here: third culture kids as hidden immigrants, fitting in to the dominant group, silencing their voices, and not telling their stories.

"In a therapeutic setting, it may be of help to recognize your role as a therapist in restoring the voice to the TCKs in the room and to encourage them in finding places where their stories and their voices will be accepted as valuable. Being able to share their stories, even in a focus group setting, appeared to be a positive and encouraging experience for the participants, and their stories were often punctuated with laughter and recognition of a shared experience. Remembering that TCKs are often a hidden minority/non-dominant/immigrant population is important, since they may often be able to fit into the social expectations in the world around them and will often avoid talking about stories or experiences that may make others uncomfortable or that sessile individuals have difficulty relating to. As a therapist, it is important not to place people into predetermined categories based on assumptions of their culture or past. Many TCKs are able to appear to fit into a dominant group, due to the silencing they have experienced; if not given a voice in therapy, their experience may go unexplored. It is hoped that therapy will serve as a place where TCKs’ voices are heard and not another experience where TCKs are silenced."

The research included focus groups of third culture kids in which they discussed different topics. What was striking is that participants noticed that they all experienced a certain time that they felt:

  1. Increased angst
  2. Dissatisfaction with themselves
  3. Identity confusion.
As they matured they grew out of the period of angst and identity confusion. During that time they they felt:

  1. Dissatisfaction with their sense of self
  2. Heightened anxiety
  3. Sadness
  4. Worry over whether they would ever fit in
There were periods of feeling grief, anger and sadness over their childhood experiences. The good news is that as they matured and grew out of that developmental phase they began to feel at peace and happy with their experiences.

If you grew up abroad, like I did and have experienced one or more of the feelings mentioned above then I hope you know now that you are not the only one with these feelings. It can be quite painful at the time but there is hope. A time can come when you feel at peace and can look back and kind of be happy with your experiences. I have not had help from a therapist but some times I wonder how it would have helped me. I read a lot on the topic of third culture kids. Reading and talking to others has helped me on my journey.

You might need a little help in the process, maybe a therapist can help you a little on the way. If you find a good therapist, the therapy can be a safe place where your third culture kid voice and story can be heard.

Tips to help you on your journey in becoming an adult TCK:

  • Find people who will listen to your story!
  • Remember you have a unique story which needs to be told. Start a blog or submit your stories for the TCK anthology, read Giving Third Culture Kids A Voice for more information.
  • Sharing your story with like-minded people can be positive and encouraging.
  • If in despair seek help from a good therapist.
Have you felt any of the emotions mentioned? Have you found a way to be at peace with your childhood experineces? Any tips? Did therapy give you a safe place to tell your story? I wonder. Please share your story here. By the way here's the link to Tamara Lynn William's research.

Related posts:

Monday, 12 August 2013

I am glad that another (Adult) Third Culture Kid Overcame his lifelong Identity Crisis

Once again I read an interesting article, this time on the Time Out Dubai website. The author grew up as a third culture kid but had never heard of the term until someone reacently shared about it on facebook. You see amazing things can even happen on facebook!

The author Hfu Reisenhofer explains that the question: Where are you from? Was a difficult one for him. Like it is for many of us. He writes:

"You see, for years I didn’t know who or what I am – at least officially. It sounds like an odd thing to say, but it’s the truth. If you were born in Tokyo but brought up in Hong Kong, have an Austrian passport but feel British, have a Japanese first name and a German last name but pronounce them with an English accent, the issue of where you’re from is not as straightforward as it seems."

A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ culture. The TCK frequently builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture may be assimilated into the TCK’s life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background.

Like Hfu I had an international childhood. I was born in Zambia, lived in Malawi and Zimbabwe but my passport country is the Netherlands. So am I African? Am I Dutch? Am I Zimbabwean? Am I a mix? Well years ago I discovered that I'm a third culture kid too.

I really like the end of the article. He says "So, go on, ask me where I’m from. I’ve finally got the answer."

I am so glad Hfu finally found the answer! I am still concerned because like him I think there are more adults and young people out there who grew up as third culture kids but have never heard the term. Who have not experienced the relief, the validation, discovered that they are not alone in this, and that there are more individuals like them. There is still work to be done. The word has to get out. Will you help spread the word?

How can we spread the word about the term third culture kids?

  1. Expat parents must teach their children.
  2. Teachers at international schools must teach their pupils about it.
  3. We adult third culture kids must spread the word around.
Do you have ideas how we can raise awareness? How can we get the word out? 


This is the trailer of the film "Les Passagers" I have shared it before but it is one of my favourites so I will share it again.

Monday, 24 June 2013

Research Project on Identity: Looking for (Adult) Third Culture Kids!

I received an email from Jo. She's looking for people who grew up abroad and returned to their passport country for university (like I did) or employment. I am posting her request because I am glad that there are people researching this topic. So whether you were an expat kid, a military brat, a diplomat kid, a missionary kid or maybe even an immigrant kid just respond. If you are the person she is looking for please send her an email! Thanks. Any researchers out there, please just keep the research coming and we're looking forward to hearing your conclusions.

"Third Culture Kids: Experiences of Identity Formation
She's conducting a study of Third Culture Kids (TCKs) returning ‘home’ for university or similar

What is the purpose of the study?
This study will focus on third culture kids (TCKs) who have returned to their parental passport country in the last 8 years to attend university or seek employment. The purpose of the study is to understand the experiences of TCKs returning to this country and look at the resources such as possesions, media, people and activities you have used to help you understand your identity.

Have you lived outside your parental passport country for at least four years?
Returned to you parental passport country for university or employment?
If YES she would like to hear from you
For more information on the study please contact:

Jo Withers: jo.withers2@googlemail.com

The research is being conducted as part of an MSc Psychology course at Oxford Brookes University"

Related topics:

Thursday, 9 May 2013

Is There a Difference Between Adults and Kids Living Abroad?

Someone wrote to me this week that there is no difference between adults and children living abroad in different cultures. I am sorry but I cannot agree with this statement because it just is not true. There are many things that are the same:
  1. Both adults and children can experience a culture shock on transitioning to a new country.
  2. Both can struggle to learn the new language. Usually the kids win this one!
  3. Both need to discover what the rules and customs are in a country. The kids usually adapt quicker than the adults.
Madurodam, in the Netherlands
The difference is that the adults have formed their identity before moving to the new country. The child is still is still in the process of forming his or her identity. So the key word here is: identity. In my latest post I wrote about identity. Culture is linked to identity. Once you do know how a culture works it gives us a sense of belonging, identity and confidence. The problem with third culture kids is that they might think they know the culture and then suddenly they move to a new country and the culture is different. Our family, our community and the place we live in serve as mirrors to us. A child forms their own identity by using these mirrors. When the mirrors change the identity formation is much more of a challenge. This is the crucial difference between adults and children living and moving abroad.

I believe there are things that parents can do to help kids form their identity and to help third culture kids feel less of a victim of their circumstances. In the end no one grows up in perfect conditions. Maybe I will write about this in the future.

10 Things parents can do to help their children form their identity and thrive while growing up abroad:
  1. Regularly return to the passport country, for me that was the Netherlands.
  2. If possible return to the same place for a period of time in the passport country. We usually spent part of our leave on the family farm in Friesland, in the north of the Netherlands. It helps kids bond with that place. Julia Munroe Martin writes about where she spent her summer vacations. "I had no place to call home. The closest I ever felt to home was with my grandmother at her house in Poland, Ohio, on the banks of Yellow Creek."
  3. Tell stories about your heritage. Tell stories about the grandparents. Research shows that children who know more about their family background are more resilient. Here's an article about it in the New York Times.
  4. Teach children their mother tongue. Speak it to them and encourage them to speak it. There is an interesting link between language and identity!
  5. Help the children to be in contact with their family abroad. Here are some great suggestions by Libby Stephens on grandparenting over the seas.
  6. Have your own family traditions. Develop your own way of celebrating birthdays or special days. While I grew up in Africa we celebrated Sinterklaas every year.
  7. Encourage children to have a treasure box, with special small items from the countries they have lived in.
  8. Help children say goodbye well when they leave a country, so that they can start anew in a healthy way.
  9. Help children when they transition back to their passport country. If possible let them have their own debriefing*. The transition back is very challenging.
  10. If children are transitioning back for college or university you can consider getting a mentor to mentor them during the transition period. There is a new mentoring program for expat teens done by Sea Change Mentoring.
Do you have any suggestions how we can help our kids? Do you agree that there is a difference between adults and children living and moving abroad?

* Debriefing is telling our story, complete with experiences and feelings, from our point of view. It is a verbal processing of past events. Debriefing includes both facts and emotional responses, and invites feedback.

Related posts:
Third culture kids self-identity books
Sharing our Roots Interview (on Life with a Double Buggy)
Learning to Grieve well (on Communicating across Boundaries)
The discomfort of re-entry back home (on Sara Taber's blog)

Saturday, 27 April 2013

Reporting from EuroTCK in Germany

I am very privileged to be able to attend the Euro TCK conference in Germany at the moment. I will try and share some of the information I am hearing here. I have never been in a place where there are so many people interested in third culture kids and so many workshops about all kinds of topics related to third culture kids. To my delight the main speaker is Ruth van Reken, she is the co-author together with D.Pollock of the book "Third Culture Kids, Growing Up Among Worlds".

This morning Ruth talked about Living with change. One of the things her father always said was "unpack your bags and plant your trees". So make Sure you fully start living in the new place or country you have moved to.

We heard about how we learn about culture.


1. We learn the rules as children.
2. We test the rules as adolescents.
3. We internalize and operate the rules as adults.

As we grow up we learn about culture. Our family, our community and the place we live in serve as mirrors to us. A child form's their own identity by using these mirrors. What happens when children grow up internationally in many different places and countries is that these mirrors keep changing which makes it more complicated to form the own identity.

Once you do know how a culture works it gives us a sense of belonging, identity and confidence. We know how it works!

Ruth mentioned that there are 3 different ways children react when they enter a new culture.

1. The chameleon: tries to find "same as" identity.
Ruth van Reken at Eurotck 2013
2. The screamer: tries to find a "different from" identity.
3. The wallflower: tries to find the "non-identity", to be invisible.

We had a discussion during our session and some adult third culture kids said sometimes they were a chameleon but at other times they really wanted to be different and they acted more as the "screamer".

Tomorrow Ruth van Reken is speaking about growing through change.

Related Posts:
Guestblog an Ode to Third Culture Kids by Casey
I am from ....and where are you from?
An interview with graphic design student Jessica on her third culture kid book project

Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Interview with graphic design student Jessica Wen on her Third Culture Kid Book Project

Let me introduce you to Jessica Wen. She is the creative inspiration behind the "Third culture kids- Self Identity Accordion Books".
I came across the project on the internet and I am really enthusiastic about it. I am so glad Jessica agreed to tell us more about herself and her project.

1. I really love your TCK project. Each little book contains a unique story just as each third culture kid has a unique story. Please tell us about your project and how you came up with this idea?
Thank you very much for your encouragement. It really means a lot to me! I'm a junior graphic design student at the Maryland Institute College of Art (MICA), Baltimore, Maryland, United States. I started my TCK book project for a artist book class with Laurie Snyder— it was my final project for the semester, and I really wanted to make a project that speaks for my identity and my background; then... obviously, the TCK idea came to mind. 

I started the project by surveying myself and 4 other TCK friends regarding to each of our unique background. (Lived in how many countries/ speaks how many languages/ definition for being a TCK/ most belonged to which culture...etc.) 

And then, each person's story was individually made into their own mini accordion book. This set of 5 books were meant to view individually as well as together as a whole set. Each book's color, font, and layout were carefully considered base on each individual's personality. The cover for all books were hand cut (debossed) with the characters "TCK". The idea is that each TCK, on the surface level, looks just like an ordinary person with ordinary background. However, once the audience open the book— you started to see the unique international perspective and value. 
 
2. You are a third culture kid too. In which countries did you live and where are you now?
Yes, I am a TCK! I was born in Taipei, Taiwan (a lovely little subtropical island). My family moved to Germany when I was 3 &4, and then we moved to China when I was 5 &6. Then, I came to the United States for education by myself when I was 16 years old. Now I am still living in the US (Baltimore, Maryland). I am sure I will most likely move to a new country again in a few years, but I just dont know where just yet.... I am keeping my options open. 
 
3. What do you consider to be the advantages of growing up as a TCK?
This is actually a question on my TCK books, too.  
Personally, I think the absolute advantage of being a TCK is: Maturity, Independence, Understanding of others, world perspective, and being able to speak more than one language. 

4. What about the disadvantages? Have you experienced those?
Difficult to fit in different social expectation; lack of sense of belonging; culture-shock whenever going 'home'... Also, I call this an 'invisible mental switch' — it is like having multiple separate language system/ culture/ social value/ expectation in the back of the mind, and with one switch/ one plane ride... we, the TCKs, need to be able to change into a whole another person in order to 'fit in' with the locals.

5. When and how did you discover that you are a TCK?
The Book "Third Culture Kids, The Experience of Growing up Among Worlds" by David Pollock and Ruth van Reken was certainly one strong force to help me discover myself being a TCK. It is such a wonderful book— I remember I ordered the book from amazon, and as soon as I start reading the first few sentences on the first page... I told me friend who was sitting right next to me at the time "I think I am going to really enjoy this book...", and then, yes, I absolutely loved it.

6. What advice would you give to other TCKs?
Always remember— that there are many MANY of us out there! You are not alone! 
For my own experience, I never knew about term TCK until last year... and surprising, I then realized most of my friends are also TCKs (including my suite mates).

7. "The TCK is part of our identity. And there's def space for more art/ design!" these were the words you twittered to me. I agree completely but please share your ideas on this topic.
I think art/ design is all about expressing the artist's own special voice. 
With our current globalization trends, more and more children are raised as TCKs. Therefore, I think this will soon become a topic with higher awareness— which means, more people will want to express their own special voice through art/ design/ writing/ blogging/ or simply the daily conversations. 

However, I don't think any of these actions is about emphasizing the how special/ different the TCKs are... but rather, a simple act of sharing and exchanging ideas.

8. On Facebook I saw that expat parents wanted to have a nice little accordion book made for their child. I would actually like one too telling my unique story too. It's would be a great treasure. Will this just stay a project or will you expand on this idea? What do you think?
With all honestly, I never thought of expending this project beyond classroom before this interview… 
However, the more I think about it... I'm certainly interested in producing more TCK books based on each individual's unique story. I think its going to be a wonderful experience to meet new people, share my design skills, and even potentially bring in some income. I think its going to be great!! 

For those of you who are interested... send me an email at jwen@mica.edu, and let's discuss!

9. Are there new projects that you are working on at the moment?
At this point, I have about 5 projects going on at the same time, but nothing is directly TCK related... 
It is certainly a busy life style, but I love what I do, and its awesome! 

If you are interested in what I do as a designer, you can find me at the following places: 
Twitter: @JWenDesign

10. Do you have any last words of encouragement? Or can you recommend interesting websites or books for third culture kids?
hmm, interesting TCK websites... 
I personally think Denizen Magazine is amazing (but I am sure everyone else knows it too). 

In terms of some last words... 
I just want to thank Janneke again for giving me this wonderful experience to talk about my work. I am deeply honored! :) 
 
                      *****************************************************************************************************************
Thanks again Jessica.
Would you like the story of your life in a small accordion book? Do you have any encouraging words for Jessica?

Saturday, 24 November 2012

Finding Mercy or Sinterklaas?

Yesterday my brother phoned and asked me to accompany him to the film Finding Mercy at the International Documentary Film Festival Amsterdam (Idfa 2012). It's a film made by Robyn Paterson who grew up in Zimbabwe, it must have been about the time I grew up there too. Robyn moved to New Zealand and she starts to wonder what has happened to her friend Mercy. So she goes back to look for her. The history of Zimbabwe unfolds through Paterson's discoveries and encounters, and she is confronted with the decline of her homeland, the country she once loved so much. Robyn says: ""What I really wanted to do with this film was to engage viewers with the reality of what has happened in Zimbabwe. To provide a human face to the situation there."

Wow when my brother told me about the film I really wanted to see it. The only problem was that I had promised to take my daughter to the "intocht van Sinterklaas" (the arrival of Saint Nicolas in our town) today. So I had to choose, sometimes when you have promised a child something as a parent you have to just keep your promise. So in the cold we went to see Sinterklaas. Toady I will have to be satisfied with the trailer of the film Finding Mercy. I will share the trailer with you too.


Sinterklaas arrived by boat and them continued his way by horse and carriage. 

Related Posts:
To or not to do: celebrate Sinterklaas Abroad
Rachel Abroad: The Arrival of Sinterklaas in Utrecht
Cultural Identity Confusion and Third Culture Kids
Marit's tip: The book "Blood Brothers" all about their friendship in Liberia

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Guest Post By My Sister: Where she's from!

Photo of Pleuntje by Keke Keukelaar  www.3hoog-achter.nl
In September I challenged you to let us know "Where you are from". Guest blogger Lucia Bodeman was the first to share about where she's from. Now it's my honour to introduce my sister Pleuntje. Here's her story:

I am from corncurls and freezies, from Marmite on cheese and Stoney Gingerbeer. 
I am from the cool verandahs, avocado trees and baked, red earth roads.
I am from snorkeling at Cape Maclear, from chlorine in garden pools, the streets of Toronto and bridges of Amsterdam.
I am from birthday breakfasts in bed and Sinterklaas, from Frisian heritage, southern hemispheres and Christmas dinners outside.
I am from the crossing of borders and packing of suitcases, cycling, swimming and frequent flyer logs.
From language lessons during the holidays and sports and music every day.
I am from more than a dozen churches, being welcomed, asked to come forward or stand and then we’d sing.
I'm from Blantyre, now from Belgium, from sadza, zuurkool stamppot and appeltaart.
From the times we would wear wintercoats made by my mother out of blankets, the Peugeot stuck in the snow and my brother stuck in sliding doors at an Austrian airport.
I am from Mutare and Bulawayo, Lelystad and Amsterdam, Hamilton and Ghent. From where? Yes, there. So be it. Amen.

Related posts:
I am just wondering: Where are you from? Care to share it with us? Here's the "Where I'm from template". 
I think it is great fun for third culture kids or cross culture kids to do this little exercise. So have fun. If you want to contribute your story send it in to: drieculturen@gmail.com.

Monday, 17 September 2012

Great things can happen online

Guess what my blog has been nominated for the Expatica "I am not a tourist Expat blog competition". I was nominated by The European Mama. She's a fellow blogger, a Polish mother living here in the Netherlands with her German husband and two daughters. Great things happen while I'm blogging or even sometimes while I am not looking. Suddenly my blog gets nominated for a competition, I meet new people online, and I get comments on my posts. Thank you. I am really enjoying this blogging adventure! Now the good thing about the blog competition is that you, the readers get to decide which blog wins the price.

I was asked which post I would like to share for the competition and I choose this one: Meet Rebecca an expat raising trilingual kids in the Netherlands. I choose this post because I am always very interested in the stories people have to tell. We can learn from the experiences of other parents. I was raised bilingually while growing up in Africa. I am so happy my parents made the effort to teach us Dutch. You can read more on how I learned my mother tongue. I think teaching your children your own language is one of the best gifts you can give them.

Maybe they do not appreciate it now but I can nearly guarantee you that in the years to come your children will be thankful that you taught them to speak their mother tongue.

" Preserving Your Heritage Language is the key to preserving your next generation, giving your child a true sense of identity and a high level of self esteem."

The Expat Blog competition is open until the 7th of October which is the day of the expat fair at the Beurs van Berlage in the heart of Amsterdam. Hop over and see all the other blogs that have been nominated and cast your vote here: http://www.expatica.com/iamnotatourist/blog_vote.php. 


Related posts: