Showing posts with label TCKs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TCKs. Show all posts

Sunday, 7 October 2018

What do you say to your Third Culture Kids?

A while ago I read a piece written by Rachel Pieh Jones and I just knew that I wanted to share it with you. Rachel lives in Djibouti and has raised her children there. I really like the very honest article she wrote: 15 things I want to tell my third culture kids. At the time her children were about to leave to boarding school, they have now left to university.

The quotes that struck me were "I cry for the choices we've made. And then I defend them with passion". 

The other quote that impressed me was: "I am sorry for the things life has taken from you. The names of all the friends you have said good-bye to are branded in my mind". 


Rachel realizes that she knows what it is like to parent TCKs but she has no idea what it is like to grow up abroad. As you probably know, I grew up abroad and I love the way Rachel tries to understand what it is like for her children and for other kids. A few years ago she hosted a whole guest post series on her blog on third culture kids. She has now made a compilation of these essays, updated the information, added interviews and practical tips and has made it into an ebook.Finding Home. I was privileged to contribute to the series too. I wrote on transitioning globally to university. Many different authors contributed to the ebook: Ruth van Reken, Marilyn Gardner, Mary Bassey, Ma Donna Maurer, Clara Wiggins and Ute Limacher just to name a few.


One of the 5 star reviews said:
"This collection of essays was both relatable and eye opening. As a third culture kid, there was a lot for me to learn and think about after reading each essay. Highly recommended if you want to better understand people who don’t belong in one culture, or if you don’t!"

I would really like to hear what you could say to your third culture kids. One of the things my parents said was that we should dare to be different. Well growing up in Africa I was different, with my blue eyes and blond hair. I actually found it difficult when I was the same as all the other children. I was twelve years old and as a family we spent a couple of months in The Netherlands. I went to form one, but it was a shock to discover that there were three other girls in my class with the same name as I have. I was used to "Janneke" being a really special name, often people had difficulty pronouncing my name. But in the Netherlands "Janneke" is a very common name, especially at that time. There is even a book named Jip and Janneke, Two Kids From Holland. So at the time I had to adjust to the fact that my name was not special at all and even though I looked like the other Dutch girls I was actually different due to growing up in Africa.

What do you say to your third culture kids? 

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PS. Have you heard that the next Families in Global Transition Conference in 2019 will take place in Thailand? From April 26 - 28.

Saturday, 6 January 2018

Happy New Year and there is still time to register for early bird rate for Families in Global Transition Conference 2018

I want to wish you all a happy new year! I have some dreams that I hope will come true in 2018 and I hope you have dreams too for this year. Today is Epiphany, Three Kings' Day. I was in Gent, Belgium this week and discovered Three Kings' cake in a bakery. I had never seen it before. Apparently there are quite a few countries where they have the tradition of Three Kings' Cake. In French it is called galette des rois. If you want to know more, then here are 5 facts about Kings' Cake. I really like discovering new things! See the image for the cake I discovered.

This year the Families in Global Transition Conference will take place in the Hague, the Netherlands again from 8-10 March 2018. It is still possible to register for the early bird rate, you have until the 15th of January 2018! The theme of the conference is: Diverse Voices, celebrating the past, present, and future of globally mobile lives. An adult third culture kid recently asked me if the conference was suitable for adult third culture kids living in their passport cultures, well I would say it is. What I noticed is that everyone at the conference has a unique story, just like I have and you have, and there is room for each story to be told. There are many expats, third culture kids, organizations involved with expats and their children at the conference. At this moment in time there are registrations from more than 31 countries, so it is a truly international conference. If you live in the Netherlands then it is your chance to join the conference. The venue of the next conference will probably be is Asia. Will we see you at the conference?

No idea what to expect? Lucille, an expat mum and storyteller shares her experience of attending the FIGT conference in 2017.

Amy Clare Tasker shares her experiences of giving a workshop at FIGT 2017. The funny thing is that those are my words "Home is where the radishes grow" and I am the blond person on the floor depicting "Home is where the radishes grow".

More news:
New edition of Third Culture Kids Growing up Among Worlds available (Third Edition 2017)

By the way have you ever eaten a Three Kings' cake? Is it a tradition you celebrate? Can you tell us more about the tradition?

Wednesday, 2 August 2017

Where are the male expat or third culture kid voices?

Recently I heard that the Families in Global Transition conference in 2018 will be held in the Netherlands again. This is good news because if it is so near to home there is more chance that I will be able to attend. At the 2017 conference we heard that the next conference would be in Asia, which meant attending would be more of a challenge for me. The FIGT conference will be held in the Hague, the Netherlands from the 8th to the 10th of March 2018, mark your calenders and maybe we can meet up there. It will be the 20th anniversary next year so it promises to be a great conference. The theme of the conference is Diverse voices celebrating the past, present, and future of globally mobile lives. If you want to submit a proposal it is due before 15th september 2017. First time conference attendees can apply for a Pollock Scholarship, check this link for more information.

On the FIGT website I saw this: The guiding question when considering the applications is, "Who is missing at the FIGT table?"  They are looking for a diverse field of applicants from each of our traditional sectors, (including corporate, diplomatic, academic, military, mission, arts and entrepreneurial) plus voices not well represented, such as those involved in immigration and refugee work, an increase in male voices, and participants from all parts of the globe.

I noticed that the FIGT organizers want an increase voices not well represented including an increase in male voices. While searching the internet this week I noticed two stories both by (adult) third culture kid males so I do want to share these stories. The first story is by Chris Aslan. Chris was born in Turkey, lived in Lebanon and returned to the UK for schooling. He later lived in Uzbekistan, Tajikistan and Kyrgyzstan. His whole story "Both and Neither: Exploring my Third Culture Kid Identity" can be read here. He writes about feeling in between cultures and not really belonging to either. I like his conclusion. 

"There have been times when I’ve felt a stranger in both cultures, but gradually I’ve learnt to feel at home in both. I’ve discovered that I’m a pretty good bridge that others can use to walk along to have their horizons broadened and to meet people they might not otherwise have met. I’m letting my character and values to be shaped by the best of both cultures. It’s not always as comfortable as being one thing or another, but embracing the concept of ‘both’ is really good, and that’s better than being comfortable."

Marilyn Gardner writes the same in her Thoughts on Entry, Reentry and Third Culture Kids. She says that as third culture kids we should accept that we are a combination of worlds. 

Joshua tells us his own story. He now lives in Suriname but he grew up in many different countries: Egypt, Singapore, and China. He tells about the culture shock he had when he moved to China. He shares what he learnt by growing up abroad. Please listen to his story,  it will take you less than 6 minutes.


Thank you Chris and Joshua for sharing your stories. Will you consider joining us at the Families in Global Transition Conference this March here in the Netherlands? We want to hear more male third culture kid stories. Please let us hear your voices. Come and join us. Do you know male third culture kids or are you one? Let's hear your voice.

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Wednesday, 22 March 2017

Families in Global Transition Conference starting 23rd March 2017 in Den Haag

The Families in Global Transition Conference is starting tomorrow in Den Haag, the Netherlands. For years the conference took place in America. This is the second year in a row that the conference will be in the Netherlands. What a priviledge that the conference is close to home for me.

Conference Theme is: Building on the Basics: Creating Your Tribe on the Move.

I will be giving an Ignite presentation on Friday afternoon, you can see the other presenters and their topics here. An Ignite presentation is a short presentation of 6 minutes and 40 seconds. You have 20 slides and 20 seconds per slide, the slides are forwarded automatically. I have never given an Ignite presentation before. I have been told that you need to practice a presentation like this many times so that's what I am doing at the moment. I hope the saying is true that "practice makes perfect".

Here's the list of the topics of the Ignite presentations:
  • Exploring the ‘Why’, the ‘How’ and the ‘Who’ of Muslim Expatriates
  • The Power of Team Sport to Create a Diverse Tribe       
  • How a TCK English Teacher in a Hungarian Village Created a Globally Local Network 
  • Childhood Losses, TCKs, and Identity Development  
  • Finding Joy and Abundance as an Expat - Planning For Your Fulfilled Life Abroad
  • Finding Your Voice, Your Tribe and Hearing Other Voices Through Blogging
I will be speaking about how I found my voice through this blog and how I heard your voices.
If you are not coming to the conference but you are interested in what is going on at the conference you can follow the hashtag #FIGT17NL 


Want to know how to give an Ignite presentation? Emma McCathy gives advice here.
Her Ignite talk last year at the FIGT conference was on Building a Global Village.


I am a little nervous for my first Ignite presentation ever, but I am also looking forward to what the conference will bring us this year. I would love to know what the Families in Global transition Conference means to you. What does the conference mean to you?

Update April 2017: Terry Ann Wilson wrote a lovely post all about the Ignite presentations.

Related posts:


Monday, 23 January 2017

Book Review: B at Home, Emma Moves Again by Valérie Besanceney

To start with I would like to wish you all happy new year. I hope it will be a year that you and your children will thrive and be resilient. I hope to write more about resilience in another post. In case you are moving with children this year than the book B at Home, Emma Moves Again might be just the book you need.

Emma is 10 years old and has already moved twice. At the start of the book she lives in the Netherlands. In the book her parents tell her that the family is moving again. She has mixed emotions and turns to B, her faithful teddy bear. Together they make the move.
Children can identify with the girl in the story. It can help them to feel that they are not alone, that there are other children who have gone through the same things. It can help children give words to the emotions they are feeling.

There are discussion questions at the end of the book. Parents could use the questions to chat with their children about the upcoming move. An example of a question is: Emma and her friends talk about how certain smells bring back memories. What are some smells that bring back strong memories for you?

The author Valérie Besanceney was born in the Netherlands, grew up as a third culture kid, making several international moves as a child, she is an experienced international school teacher and is raising two TCK daughters. She definitely knows what she is talking about. In addition to the book B at Home Besanceney has created a workbook My Moving Booklet. This is a great tool for parents and schools to ease a transition for a child. The children can share their emotions and there is also lots of room for creativity.

I had the privilege of meeting Valérie at the Families in Global transition Conference in Amsterdam in 2016.

Have you or one of your children read the book B at Home, Emma Moves Again? Are there other books that you would recommend for kids making international moves? Please share them with us.

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Wednesday, 10 August 2016

Q & A with Tanya Crossman author of the book "Misunderstood" The Impact of Growing Up Overseas in the 21st Century

As you probably know I love books and especially on the topic of growing up abroad. I am pleased to announce that a new book on the topic is about to be released and the author Tanya Crossman has agreed to answer some questions specially for you. Thank you Tanya! By the way if you want to know what children or young people say about growing up abroad then you have to read this book. Now over to Tanya.
  1. Please tell us about your book “Misunderstood”. Tell us about how you were inspired to write the book?                                                                                                                                   I spent a decade mentoring TCKs (third culture kids), listening to them and learning how they
    felt about life. Parents began to ask my advice, and I saw lightbulb moments as they saw their children's situation in a new light. When asked for resources I pointed to lots of great books, but couldn't find anything that did what I did – stand in the gap, and explain the TCK perspective. That is what Misunderstood does: explain how international life affects a child, often in their own words (I interviewed nearly 300 TCKs for the book, plus conducted a survey of 750 TCKs). Misunderstood shows TCKs they are not alone, and helps those who care about them provide more support and understanding.
  2. What is the most important message you have for parents of TCKs? What would you like to say to every TCK?
    Being a TCK isn't a bad thing!! Over 80% of the TCKs I surveyed for Misunderstood were glad for their experience, and only 2% would take it back if they could. But TCKs do have a different experience of the world to their parents, and understanding that experience is essential for supporting TCKs well. 
  3. Many people want to write a book someday, but you did it! What was the key to success?
    The key to my success has been other people! Wise people I listened to, leading me in directions I would not have gone alone. A mentor read my first attempt and told me I could do much better – that I needed to put my passion in it. A close friend approached me about having my book published professionally, and did the work to make that happen. Then the team at Summertime Publishing helped make Misunderstood better.  
  4. What's your advice for other TCKs or anyone wanting to write a book?
    Know why you want to write – what do you care about, and why does it matter? What gap exists that you want to fill? Find anything similar out there, read it well and work out if you have something new and different to say. Secondly, benefit from the experience of others. Cultivate relationships with people who challenge you with wise advice – then listen to them, even when it's hard. 
  5. In which countries did you live as a child and what age were you at the time?
    I grew up in my passport country (Australia) but also lived in the US from age 13-15, with my parents and my two younger sisters. As an adult I lived in China for over ten years and also spent a lot of time in Cambodia.
  6. What was the reason that you were living abroad? If it was work, what kind of work did your parents do?
    My father worked for a multinational technology company. When he was assigned to work in the US for two years, our whole family went along. We lived immersed in the local life (local schools, etc.) but we all found a cross-cultural friend or two. 
  7. What did you most like about living abroad as a young person?
    I enjoyed engaging with a new physical environment. The houses, food, trees, birds, animals, and seasons were all different. I hoarded new sensory experiences – the crunch under my feet walking across our frozen yard in winter, the soft twilight in summer, the bouncing tails of squirrels – and filled myself up with them. 
  8. What was most difficult?
    Learning new cultural norms (especially when people didn't think of me as coming from a different culture) was really hard. Simply existing outside my house was tiring! I didn't have words to express the difficulties I experienced, so I had an unhelpful tendency to blame my frustrations on the entire country. It took me years to unravel my feelings. Now I'm very thankful for my time in the US, even though it was hard.
  9. How did living abroad influence your choice of career or study?
    I think it showed me there's a whole world of opportunity out there, and not to limit myself to what is “normal” in Australia. 
  10. Which languages do you speak? Do you have advice on learning languages for families living abroad  now?
    English is my native language, and I am fluent in Mandarin Chinese. I've forgotten most of the other 10 languages I've studied, but I have basic survival skills in Khmer, Thai, and Indonesian. My biggest piece of advice is to embrace your ignorance – give it a go knowing it won't be perfect, and be humble about your lack of perfection. Another thing that helped me was watching and listening to native speakers doing life – by copying them I picked up the language as it's actually used, rather than stiffly repeating what I'd read in textbooks.
  11. When and where did you first hear of the term “Third Culture Kid” (TCK)? How did you hear of it and in which way did it help you?
    When I first started working with TCKs I didn't know that there was such a thing as a TCK! I quickly realised there was something different about these kids due to their unique situations, but it was still two or three years before I started reading literature on the topic. David Pollock and Ruth Van Reken's classic “Growing up among worlds” was eye-opening. What really struck me was the section on repatriation – I kept thinking “that's me!” For the first time I realised my time in the US was a TCK experience. It helped me understand why it had been so hard to “go home”. 
  12. How was it to return to your “home country” (passport country)?
    HARD. Both times. When I left the US at age 15 I was excited to “go home and be normal”. I was stunned to discover that although in the US I stood out as Australian, to Australians I sounded American. It was quite a letdown. It took less than a year to re-acclimatise but it was still a significant experience. When I moved to Australia 18 months ago after 11 years in Asia as an adult, I was more prepared for what repatriation might be like, and blogging about the process was really helpful for me. The funny thing is that this time I found it comforting when people thought my accent didn't quite sound Australian! 
  13. With which countries do you feel a bond? Where's home?
    Ah, always a tricky question! I am definitely Australian – it 's an important part of my identity – but Australia doesn't really feel like “home” anymore. Beijing feels like home – but I have no family there and no legal right to be there, so I don't feel like I'm “allowed” to call it home. I guess neither one is completely home – so the Third Culture is very important to me! 
Thank you once again Tanya for answering these questions but in the first place for writing the book. You can visit Tanya's website for more information. Tanya is on twitter @TanyaTCK and on Facebook at MisunderstoodTCK. You can preorder the book Misunderstood on Amazon, for more preorder options click here. We will be doing a giveaway of the book soon, so come back and check the blog for more information. What questions would you like to ask Tanya?



Related posts:

Monday, 25 July 2016

10 tips to help you prepare your child for an international move

Recently I read a post on Facebook. A mother was asking advice on how to prepare her daughter for a n upcoming move from England to the Netherlands. Her daughter is 5 years old and she had said to her mum "Please mum I don't want to leave my home and my school". I am sure her child is not the only one that does not want to move.

The question made me think. What would my advice be? As a child I moved many times in Africa, I
photo by Kelly Morguefiles
wonder how my parents prepared us, there were four of us, I have two brothers and a sister. These days there are so many more resources, we have books, the internet, social media to seek advice. I do think this is a great question because I firmly believe parents can help and prepare their children for an international move.

My 10 tips would be:
  1. Acknowledge your child's emotions. Give her permission to feel sad about the move and about saying goodbye. Give her permission to identify and express her emotions. You can help her by saying "I see that you are sad about leaving your friends". If you want to read more on this topic the Centre on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning have practical suggestions here in this download Teaching Your Child To: Identify and Express Emotions.
  2. Watch the Disney movie "Inside Out" together. The girl named Riley makes a move too and finds it tough. Watch it together and take time to talk about it. The movie is all about emotions.
  3. Make the move an adventure. When the moving boxes arrive let her paint one or decorate it by using stickers, glue, paint, and pretty pictures. She can even decorate the box with a friend (you then include her friends in the process, so they can get used to the idea that she will move).
  4. As part of the adventure search for information about the city and country you will move to. Show photos or a youtube film. If possible make a preliminary visit to the new country. Be careful not to raise the expectations too high.
  5. Let her help pack the boxes. Let her help you sort out which toys she will take along. Let her put her most important toys in the decorated moving box. By letting her make choices you give her some control in a time that many things are "out of her control". You are giving her some influence in this situation.
  6. Maintain stability. In the crazy time before, during and after the move try to stick to family routines. For a child this means that even though many things are changing there are still constants in her life and that can give a child stability and a sense of security.
  7. Make a countdown calendar together to help vizualize how many nights until the move. Suggestions for a creative and fun countdown calendar can be found here. The concept of time, and knowing when the move will take place can be difficult for children. A countdown calendar can help your child understand how many "sleeps" until the move.
  8. Help your child say her good-byes. David Pollock and Ruth van Reken talk about it in their book "Third Culture Kids, Growing up Among Worlds". They mention the need for saying good-bye to people, places, pets and possessions. Plan a farewell party for her friends, make the invitations together. Visit special places as a family. Ask her what she would like to do one last last time. Eat and ice cream in the favourite ice cream parlour or swim in a certain swimming pool. Make photos of these last visits. If there is a pet will the pet come along or will someone care for the pet? Maybe possessions will be let behind. Help her accept that some possessions will remain behind, maybe you will give some things to other people, involve your daughter in the process. You could give her a small treasure box in which she can put special treasures, it could be a small stone from you garden or something else special.
  9. Consider buying her a copy of the book My Moving Booklet by Valerie Besanceney. The booklet has been designed to help children through the initial stages of an upcoming move.
  10. Make a small photo album specially for her with photos of the friends she will leave behind, of the farewell party, of the special places, of house you lived in and lots more. This photo book can be a tool she can use to show and tell others where she used to live.
If you don't have enough time to make a calendar, make invitations for a farewell party, make the photo album then get other people involved in your move. Your friends probably want to help you, try to delegate something. Ask another mum to help you, she will probably feel privileged!\

There are many more things parents do to help their kids, I would love to hear your suggestions. Please share them here. Thank you so much.

Related Posts:

Saturday, 19 March 2016

Starting a Third Culture Kid Society at University

In my last post I let you know that I was preparing for the Families in Global Transition Conference (FIGT). Well the conference has taken place in Amsterdam. It was the first time ever that the conference took place in Europe. How exciting! By the way the FIGT conference will take place in the Netherlands again in 2017, maybe you can join us?

There is so much I could say about the conference but I just want to start by telling you about a session I 
attended in which two university students told us how and why they started a third culture kids society at Bristol university. We had the privilege of having both co-presidents Dalia Abuyasin and Anna Skoulikari from the Third Culture Kid Society of Bristol University tell their story.

On the TCK society Facebook page they start with a definition of a third culture kid: A Third Culture Kid is defined as 'a young person who has spent a significant amount of time in their developmental years outside of their family's country of origin'. Often people that identify as third culture kids reply to the question "where are you from?" with "it's complicated". 

The TCK social society is a place to meet, connect and share unforgettable experiences with others. It is a place that is open to anyone and everyone interested in spending time in an international environment. You do not have to a third culture kid to join the society. The society was started by Dalia and Anna. They had no idea how many others students would be interested or had lived abroad for a certain amount of time. Now there is a thriving TCK society in Bristol. They even had short videos so we could hear from them members what it was like to transition to university.


It is even more interesting to hear the members tell about what the third culture kid society has meant to them. They did not need to explain things. It felt so familiar. It felt like "home". This is a short video of about 3 minutes. Listen to what the students say:


Dalia and Anna explained to us that they want to encourage other students to start TCK societies at their universities. They want to develop a toolbox to help you and make it even easier to start a group too. It would be really great if they manage to develop a toolbox.

As you might know I transitioned from Zimbabwe to the Netherlands when I was 19 to go to university. It was a very difficult transition. On the MaDonna's Raising TCKs blog I wrote about leaving the African "nest". I hope third culture kids these days have easier transitions to university or college! As you can understand this is a topic I am really interested in. A while ago I wrote a post on 10 tips to transition well to university (specially for TCKs and their parents). I wish there had been a TCK society like this one at the university I went to years ago, it would have made my transition easier.

Did you transition globally to university or college? What was it like? Do you know of other universities with groups specially for third culture kids? Please share them here. By the way I just discovered that the University of Leeds is international and have a third culture kids society.

Related Posts:

Sunday, 31 January 2016

Preparing for the Families in Global Transition Conference 2016

At the moment I am preparing for the FIGT conference which will take place in March. It's the first time ever that this conference will take place in the Netherlands. It's the first time it will take place in Europe. It's the first time I will attend the conference and it's the first time I will be presenting at the conference. Very exciting! By the way the conference schedule is available and the presenter biographies. As you can see there are more than 50 presenters, I expect that they will represent all the corners of the world.

While preparing for my session I was searching the internet for new information on third culture kids. I found a nice short video made by teenager Alison. She's a third culture kid herself, she explains what it means, has done some research and she gives advice. It's worth watching.


She conducted a survey and it revealed that the TCKs find leaving friends and changing school the most difficult. It took them a couple a months to adjust to the new surrounding. She encourages TCKs to meet new people and learn the new language. Her last advice is: Stay open-minded and resilient and moving can enhance your life.

By the way I hope you are attending the Families in Global Transition Conference in Amsterdam too. Please let me know if you're coming so we can meet up. 

Related posts: 
My 10 advantages of growing up abroad
Interview with graphic design student Jessica Wen on her third culture kid book project
Interesting interview with researcher and adult third culture kid Rachel Cason 

Monday, 30 November 2015

Families in Global Transition Conference 2016 will take place for the first time ever in Holland!

Maybe you have heard the good news: the Families in Global Transition (FIGT) Conference will take place in the Netherlands next year. The conference is from the 10th of March to the 12th of March 2016 in Amsterdam. For the past 2 years I have been wanting to attend this conference but the conference was in Washington, USA. I had to take days off from work, fly to America and I just was not able to arrange it. I am so excited that the conference has moved to Europe, and even better it has moved to the Netherlands, Amsterdam to be exact. Now I can take the train and attend! If you want to attend the conference and save money make sure you register before 4th January 2016.

By the way the theme of the conference is "Moving Across Cultures: Bringing Empathy and Expertise to the Evolving Global Family". I like the word empathy.

What does empathy do according to the Greater Good Science Center? Empathy:
  • reduces prejudice and racism
  • reduces bullying
  • promotes heroic acts
  • fights inequality
  • is good for healthcare
  • cuts against self-interest, people with empathy are more likely to help people in need
Wow that sounds very promising! Then add all the expertise in too and it is a recipe for success.I have heard that the author of the book "Global Mom" Melissa Dalton-Bradford will be one of the keynote speakers. She is a mother of 4, a writer of books, essays, poetry and a blog. As a family they have lived in 10 countries. She has also written the book "On loss & Living Onward", I think I have to read one of her books before the conference. You can see the trailer of the book "Global Mom" here.

The conference will take place at De Bazel Cafe & Conference Centre, Vijzelstraat 32 in
Beautiful Holland photo by DrieCulturen
Amsterdam.


Good things seem to happen at FIGT conferences. Killian Kröll, the current chair of the FIGT board grew up as a third culture kid (TCK). He was unaware of the impact of his upbringing. During a seminar he first heard the term TCK. That moment changed his life and he found his tribe. 2011 was the first FIGT conference he attended and then he was really sure that he had found his tribe. Read more of Killian's story and the FIGT conference 2015 as written by Lauren Owen.

Just in case you have not heard of Families in Global Transitions, you can visit the FIGT website for more information. The first FIGT conference was held in 1998 and Ruth van Reken the coauthor of the book "Third Culture Kids Growing up Among Worlds" was one of the initiators.

Related posts:

Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Interesting interview with Rachel Cason, adult third culture kid, researcher

I am glad to introduce Rachel Cason to you. We met each other a few years ago at a EuroTCK conference
in Germany. When we met she was doing research, she has agreed to answer a few questions specially for you.

 1. Would you tell us a little about yourself?
Hi! Well, I'm an adult TCK, a missionary kid to be exact. I was born and raised in West Africa until the age of 16, when my family "returned" to England to settle there indefinitely. After finishing the last two year of my school education, I took a gap year, working with children with additional needs. I went to Keele university to study French and Sociology, and enjoyed a couple of study abroad opportunities in that time also. In my Masters year I got married, and during my doctoral studies I had my beautiful daughter. Sadly, my marriage was not a happy one, and during my maternity leave my husband and I divorced. I suppose my life has been full of transitions, reaching beyond my childhood years! My daughter starts school this September, so that's another transition for us at the moment!

2. Can tell us about your research?
My thesis examines the ways in which the experiences of Third Culture Kids, or the children of expatriates, impacts upon their adult notions of belonging, identity, and relationship to place. It was prompted by a professor in my final year, who spotted research potential for this relatively understudied population after I did a research project exploring whether or not TCKs should merit consideration as disaporic. Typically, migration research has ignored TCKs, focussing instead on groups united by nationality or ethnicity. I wanted to explore the shared experiences of TCKs as originating in a shared expatriate culture.

3. For what degree did you do your research?
My PhD in Sociology, at Keele University.

4. What is your main conclusion?
This was an exploratory, qualitative study, rather than a quantitative one, so I have no concise statistics to sum things up with :) My main conclusions establish that rather than being rootless, TCKs are very much rooted in an expatriate, organisational culture. I suggest that there are characteristics and shared experiences that reach across expatriate organisations, be they military, business or missionary, and that these shared experiences have a huge impact on the development of TCKs sense of belonging, identity and place. Rather than observing that TCKs all share similar characteristics, I note that while many TCKs share similar worldviews, they are more likely to be reacting to the same experiences, than all reacting in similar ways to those experiences. In other words, there is a TCK culture, rather than a TCK personality. It's hard to narrow findings down, for fear of oversimplifying complex human experiences, but broadly; -

In terms of belonging, I found that TCKs often feel most comfortable in situations in which there is high diversity, and in which they may represent the ethnic minority; such a situation reflects their earliest experiences of culture as mediated by their expatriate organisations. TCKs were often found at the margins of society, often engaging constructively with their marginality (reaching out to other marginals, for example), yet some experienced deep isolation in their marginality.
In terms of identity, I observed many TCKs struggled as adults with the idea that they were getting better at 'blending in' to their passport culture. As 'perpetually unique' children, adult TCKs may need to find new ways in adulthood to express their individuality. For many TCKs, their adult careers proved a means through which they could negotiate their relationship with a local and global world. Nationality is an ambivalent identity, too restrictive for many, and yet crucial in understanding a TCK's experiences in their host country as national identification often mediated their interactions with that country(ies).
In terms of place, my findings counter suggestions that TCKs were 'placeless' and/or didn't find places meaningful or relevant, due to their high mobility. Rather, I found that TCKs had a keen emotional connection with place, and that it is possible that the presence of high mobility in adult TCKs may be a case of feeling propelled towards pepetual movement, rather than their making an active choice between settledness or mobility. Indeed, I suggest that of the many skill sets absorbed by many TCKs growing up in expatriate communities, being able to (or seeing the value of settling) is one that may be lacking.

5. How was it to hear so many TCK stories?
It was an absolute joy and privilege! It was striking though, that for many it seemed to be the first time they'd had this opportunity. We often tell stories from our lives to those around us, but very rarely do we tell the whole story, from beginning to present-day. It seemed a cathartic experience for many. This in itself made me feel the responsability of honouring the stories gifted to me so generously.

6. How did doing the research influence you?
It inspired me to try and find a way to meet the needs of the people I had spoken to. I was not able to do this directly; as a researcher this was beyond my remit. But for the many TCKs like them, I wanted to make sure that my research could be applicable to their lives in a way that would both validate and equip them to meet any challenges they may be facing.

7. What TCK research still needs to be done?
I would like to see more research on the gendered experiences of TCKs; the ways in which experiences in multiple host countries may be wildly different depending upon the gender of the TCK. This may be because of host cultural norms about the presence of men and women in public spaces, for example, or it may be that the gendered narratives of the expatriate organisations in which TCKs are raised merit examination in their own right. Gender is such a basic way in which we interpret personal and public identity, I feel this focus would illuminate the TCK experience hugely.

8. You have decided to start Life Story, tell us about it.
Life Story uses the life story interview as a therapeutic tool. In this way I directly apply my research experience to the process, both in the structure of the interview, and in the subsequent analysis of the interview. Life Story work offers the space to narrate and reflect on one's life story, and analysis of this interview focusses on connecting the past with the present through the emergence of particular patterns and themes.
This process can help anyone struggling to move forward positively in their lives to unlock past patterns of thinking and behaviours that may hold the key to a more empowered future. In this way, Life Story aims to encourage a more settled sense of self, one that is grounded in a full understanding of the past, but whose future is not limited by its history. 
I work with both TCKs and non-TCKs, and life story process is helpful for anyone seeking to find clarity in a fragmented history. I offer sessions by Skype primarily, although some face to face sessions may be possible also should clients be able to travel to Lincoln, England. 

9. Why do you think that telling your life story works for TCKs?
I think that TCKs especially find that their life stories get chopped up and fragmented, their revelation dependent on the appropriate audience or country. The life story interview offers an opportunity to bring all those fragments together in one place, and in so doing, offers an opportunity to gather all our fragmented selves together also. This in itself is a healing process, and also an empowering one, as it becomes possible to make connections between the 'chapters' of our lives that shed light on our current situations and challenges. Increased understanding of these connections then paves the way for positive changes that can move us forward, where we have felt stuck or without focus.

10. What advice would you give those who want to do research?
Stick at it! And follow the truths emergent in your work. Research is a lonely furrow, and it is easy to get discouraged. But though your work will not resonate with everyone, it will matter, and it adds to a body of knowledge and extends the voices that can be heard. That is hugely valuable in and of itself. 

11. What advice would you give TCKs in general?
I've typed an answer to this a few times, and then deleted it. I suppose I'm finding this one tricky because, at heart, I believe
that beyond any profiling or shared characteristics, TCKs are individuals first. Deeply distinct individuals. And I couldn't presume to ever give a group of individuals the same advice. Except this. Be you first, a TCK second. Understanding your TCK experiences and their impact is crucial to this. Otherwise it can be easy to mistake our tendencies for our desires. Unless we can root our 'selves' in a conscious vision for what we want our lives to look like, we will instead be driven by our tendencies, which may or may not coincide with our long term goals.

12. Any last comments?
Thank you so much for the opportunity to be interviewed! And just that if anyone has any queries or questions at all about Life Story, do get in touch. I am happy to reply to any emails of this nature, and anyone interested in the process is entitled to a free hour consultation by Skype to work through if life story work is something that might benefit them.

If you want to contact Rachel you can email her: rachelcason@explorelifestory.com
Or you can visit her website: www.explorelifestory.com Thank you so much for sharing about yourself and your research.

Readers have you had opportunities to tell people the whole story? What was it like?

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Ruth van Reken speaks on the Impact of Growing up in a Globalized World

Two years ago I had the privilege of meeting and hearing Ruth van Reken speak at the Euro TCK conference in Germany. Ruth van Reken is co-author of the book Third Culture Kids Growing up Among Worlds. You should hear her too.

In this short video Ruth explains what third culture kids are and what cross-cultural kids are, she shares her personal story. She encourages parents who are raising kids cross-culturally to make sure that they know how to prepare their children for their transitions. It's so important to say goodbye appropriately. This TedxINSEAD talk was given in May 2015.


There are challenges for children that grow up cross culturally. The 2 main issues are:

  1. Identity: Who am I? Where do I belong? Where am I from?
  2. Unresolved Grief: this can be a result of all the invisible losses, called "hidden losses". With one plane ride the whole world as the child knew changes. These are the kind of losses there are: 
  • loss of their world
  • loss of status
  • loss of lifestyle
  • loss of possessions (it can be a bicycle, toys, tree houses, pets)
  • loss of role models
  • loss of system identity
  • loss of the past that was/ or wasn't
Parents should not just tell their children how great it will be in the next country, but they should take a minute and say "I understand", it's hard to leave and say goodbye. They should validate the emotions their children feel.

Recently there was an interesting discussion on Goodreads on the topic of unresolved grief. Lois Bushong was the facilitator of the discussion. 

What can we do with the grief? Some people use journalling, music or painting. It can help to talk to a friend about it. Others talk to a therapist. If you need a therapist you could check the International Therapist Directory.

In the talk Ruth poses the following question: How can we help people to use the incredible riches of their childhood? She suggests the following:
  1. Normalize the story
  2. Celebrate the both/ and's (celebrate the positive and acknowledge the challenges)
  3. Identify/mourn the hidden losses
  4. Re-define identity (can we be international?)
  5. Establish portable roots
  6. Recognize marketable gifts (like language, cross-cultural adaptability)
I recently wrote a guest post on MaDonna's blog called Raising TCKs. In it I share my personal story of leaving the African nest, leaving Zimbabwe to go to university in the Netherlands. With one plane ride my whole world changed drastically.

Did you grow up cross-culturally? Did you celebrate the good things and acknowledge the challenges? Please share your story or your advice. I would love to hear from you. 

Related links:    

Sunday, 26 April 2015

Providing children with tools to tell their stories

My inspiration today is an amazing post by Eric Spreng, an international school teacher at the International School of Ouagadougou (the capital of Burkina Faso). I wish there were more international school teachers like him. I wish I had teachers like him when I grew up in Africa.

He teaches to promote student voice, he provides the students with tools they need to articulate themselves and their stories, especially when these stories challenge the dominate narratives that would marginalize them. I think this is what all children need but especiallt third culture kids. They need tools to articulate themselves. They need tools to be able to tell their story in what ever environment or situation they are.

Recently I came across this quote and I believe it is so true.

"All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them" these are words by Karen Blixen, the author of the book "Out of Africa".

Third culture kids grow up often moving from country to country with their parents. It can be very exciting and adventerous but the other side of the coin is that they often have to depart and leave friends and familiar places. They often have to say goodbyes. These moments can be painful and sad. If they are equipped with tools to tell their stories it could be great help for them in life. It will make them more resilient and more able to thrive in this global world.

Not only teachers can teach kids the importance of their stories, but we as parents can teach our
Photo by DrieCulturen, taken at Schiphol
children too. Decades of research has shown that most happy families communicate effectively. It means that as a family you tell a positive story about yourselves. If you want a happier family, create, refine and retell the story of your family's positive moments and your ability to bounce back from difficult ones. Read more on this topic in the article The Stories that Bind Us.

So back to Eric Spreng's post. He says: "From the beginning of the year, I make it clear that student voice is one of our great resources, that students' diverse experiences and cultures are assests to us as a community of learners. He gives examples of students that develop their own voice, do read his post called "Why I teach: Voice, Discourse and Empathy."

Related Posts

Saturday, 14 February 2015

Highlights in 2014?

It's been a while since I wrote on this blog. 2015 is a new year and I hope to surprise you with more posts than in 2014. I only wrote twice last year so I am sure I can write more this year. Even though I do not write frequently it is good to know that there are still constant vistors finding this blog daily. Thank you all for coming by and reading on this blog I hope you found words that were helpful or useful.

I would like to update you on things that are happening in the third culture kid world. There is an interesting and very informative review on the Tckid website with a review of the many events that took place and new books that were published. It's worth reading the TCKid 2014 Year in Review.

Coming up soon is the Families in Global Transition Conference 2015 it is from 6-8 th of March in the USA. I wish it was here in Europe, it would much easier to attend. Hopefully one day I will attend the Figt conference. The theme this year is Finding "Home": Amidst Global Change. If you want to have an idea what the figt conference is like read an except of the soon to be published Figt year book. The except is on Cultural Complexity and Hidden Diversity: Exploring today's TCKs. Are any of you planning to go to the figt conference 2015? Do let us know and maybe you can share your most valuable insight here.

Recently I was asked whether there are meetups in the Netherlands for third culture kids or adult third culture kids. For those who are interested there is a facebook group called: TCKid Netherlands. There are plans to organize new meetups.

By the way one of my personal highlights in 2014 was visiting Havana, Cuba with a group of medical students. It was a great priviledge to meet the Cuban people and to see how the healthcare is organized. Maybe I will tell you more about this trip in another post. As an adult TCK I still like travelling, tasting new food, meeting new people and experiencing new cultures.

Havana Cuba, photo by DrieCulturen
What was your personal highlight in 2014?

Related posts: 




Wednesday, 6 August 2014

Help: Another Third Culture Kid is Going to University/College!

This afternoon at 4 pm Dutch time there will be a TCKchat on twitter and the theme is advice for third culture kids going to university information can be found here. So while thinking on this topic I remembered a recent article I have read. It's on the experiences of third culture kids transitioning to university life in Australia. The article was published in the International Journal of Intercultural Relations and is written bij Lauren Purnell and Elizabeth Hoban. The lead researcher Purnell is an adult TCK who spent 14 years of her upbringing living in Botswanna, Vietnam and Nepal before moving to Australia after graduating from high school overseas.
When studying in Holland: you need a bike! Photo DrieCulturen
culture kids on going to university or college. These TCKchats (#TCKchat) are held every first and third Wednesday of the month.

During the research 12 in-depth interviews were held with Australian TCKs aged 18-27 years who had spent 3-18 years living abroad and had lived in Australia for 7 months to 9 years.

4 Themes emerged from the data and a TCK Transition into University Model was developed. This model included 4 Stages:
  1. Preparedness prior to transition
  2. Initial experience during transition (initial 6 months in passport country)
  3. Adjustment during transition (6 months to 2 yrs)
  4. Stabilization (2 yrs and beyond)
The key findings included participants who received preparation from their school and family prior to moving, had practical support in Australia and engaged in Australian social networks and university life experienced improved emotional health and made way for a positive transition.

My short conclusion is:
  1. Families and schools should prepare TCKs for the transition
  2. Parents should make sure there are friends or family available for practical help 
  3. TCKs should try and get involved in university life or other social activities.

Wednesday, 19 February 2014

Adult Third Culture Kids: Potential Global Leaders with Cross-Cultural Competence?

Time's flying and it is high time for me to write a new post. I once again read some interesting articles which I really feel I need to share with you. The first is a disseratation "Adult Third Culture Kids: Potential Global Leaders with Global Mindset" by Patricia Stokke (2013).

"The ability to bridge differences is an example of how ATCKs may integrate their international experience preparing them to work in global organisations." The ATCKs seem to be good "bridge builders". Patricia says that future research needs to be done to bring ATCKs and business together so that not only ATCKs recognize their global skills and abilities, but that recruiters, HR professionals, and hiring managers appreciate the potential value these individuals can offer organisations.

I came across another interesting article in the Journal of Global Mobiliy. This journal is new by the way and currently the articles in the first 3 issues are available for free (until the end of March 2014). In the article "Antecedents of dynamic cross-cultural competence in adult third culture kids (ATCKs)" by Tarique and Weisbord they look at what the predictors are of cross-cultural competence. They found that there are 5 predictors of cross-cultural competence in ATCKs:

  1. Varienty of early international exeperience (number of counries lived in) 
  2. Language diversity 
  3. The number of languages they speak
  4. Family diversity (the number of different ethnicities in their family's background)
  5. The personality trait of openess to experience (to which extend are individuals original, innovative and willing to take risks)
By the way dynamic cross-cultural competence includes knowledge, skills and attributes that are aquired through learning experiences. So it seems that  experiencing international travel during childhood and growing up abroad can provide competencies today's employers seek. This is good news for ATCKs. I feel I already knew this and you probably did too but I like it when research confirms these kind of things.

I like the article on DenizenMag "Making the Most of Your TCK Experience When Applying For a Job". As a TCKs you have adapted to new environments, so you will probably adapt quickly to your new working environment. Probably you have learnt to be flexible and adjust. You may be a "bridge builder". You may be have cross-cultural and multilingual communication skills. Recognize your own global skills and abilities! Make sure you mention them in your résumé. This is one of the things Ruth van Reken said too when she spoke at EuroTCK in Germany in 2013.

So it looks like we have cross-cultural competence, we are "bridge builders", we are the people empoyers are seeking. Will we be the global leaders of tomorrow? What do you think? Looking forward to your comments.

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Photo thanks to NPClark2k Morgue File