Starting a Third Culture Kid Society at University

In my last post I let you know that I was preparing for the Families in Global Transition Conference (FIGT). Well the conference has taken place in Amsterdam. It was the first time ever that the conference took place in Europe. How exciting! By the way the FIGT conference will take place in the Netherlands again in 2017, maybe you can join us?

There is so much I could say about the conference but I just want to start by telling you about a session I 

attended in which two university students told us how and why they started a third culture kids society at Bristol university. We had the privilege of having both co-presidents Dalia Abuyasin and Anna Skoulikari from the Third Culture Kid Society of Bristol University tell their story.

On the TCK society Facebook page they start with a definition of a third culture kid: A Third Culture Kid is defined as 'a young person who has spent a significant amount of time in their developmental years outside of their family's country of origin'. Often people that identify as third culture kids reply to the question "where are you from?" with "it's complicated". 

The TCK social society is a place to meet, connect and share unforgettable experiences with others. It is a place that is open to anyone and everyone interested in spending time in an international environment. You do not have to a third culture kid to join the society. The society was started by Dalia and Anna. They had no idea how many others students would be interested or had lived abroad for a certain amount of time. Now there is a thriving TCK society in Bristol. They even had short videos so we could hear from them members what it was like to transition to university.

It is even more interesting to hear the members tell about what the third culture kid society has meant to them. They did not need to explain things. It felt so familiar. It felt like "home". This is a short video of about 3 minutes. Listen to what the students say:

Dalia and Anna explained to us that they want to encourage other students to start TCK societies at their universities. They want to develop a toolbox to help you and make it even easier to start a group too. It would be really great if they manage to develop a toolbox.

As you might know I transitioned from Zimbabwe to the Netherlands when I was 19 to go to university. It was a very difficult transition. On the MaDonna's Raising TCKs blog I wrote about leaving the African "nest". I hope third culture kids these days have easier transitions to university or college! As you can understand this is a topic I am really interested in. A while ago I wrote a post on 10 tips to transition well to university (specially for TCKs and their parents). I wish there had been a TCK society like this one at the university I went to years ago, it would have made my transition easier.

Did you transition globally to university or college? What was it like? Do you know of other universities with groups specially for third culture kids? Please share them here. By the way I just discovered that the University of Leeds is international and have a third culture kids society.

Related Posts:

• Help another third culture kid is going to university
• Third Culture kids going to university
• University counselors be curious about their upbringing
• The book: A Global Nomad's Guide to university transition by Tina Quick
• 10 Things every global nomad needs to know before leaving for university (international family transitions)

Guest Third Culture Kid poem by Marina Sofia "Who am I?"

Thank you Marina Sofia for letting me share your poem "Who am I?" on this blog. The words touched my heart. I am so glad that there are people like Marina writing stories and poems about the feelings and challenges of third culture kids. You can follow Marina on twitter too @MarinaSofia8. Now it's over to Marina:

                                                                              *******************************************

"Who am I?" (The Third Culture Kid)

Or even fourth or fifth culture kid…  This is the internationally accepted term for children who have spent a significant portion of their formative years in cultures different from their own, or their parents.  I didn’t know I was one while I was growing up – now I am raising a couple of my own.  Personally, I much prefer the term ‘global nomad’ – has more of a glamorous ring to it, doesn’t it? But what I do have is that feeling of fragmentation: I do not have a solid, whole concrete façade, but  am made up of so many different little pebbles of influence. 

I used to think moving on is a blessing,
the moved upon powerless and grieving.
Head down, I’d prepare for exit and re-entry, again, and again,
glad to be the one gathering no moss.
But ultimately revenge is theirs:
for they sprout roots, link up, grow together, form tissue
richly alive with many shared hours and insights and tales.
All the shortcuts roll glib off their tongues,
always creating and leading their own trend,
while the mover is running to catch up, to fuddle,
stuck in the language of past generations,
never quite getting the nuance, the slang.
See that flying line of geese?  There’s one just off,
destroying the symmetry of their formation.
I fear I am something of a disappointment:
not enough of a glamour-bird when you want to preen with me,
yet not sufficiently aligned and meek.
My ducks in a row askew,
so easy to shoot at, and never enough time
to grieve.
I’ve learnt to hide my real thoughts
my own thoughts
my solitude.
I’ve learnt a short answer to the question:
‘Where are you from?’, tinged with just enough humour
and self-deprecation to disarm and charm.
Who am I?
I am all that is half-forgotten,
half-mourned, half-understood.
I am all the places in which I’ve left my heart.
I am all that is buried deep inside and want to excavate no more.
I am all that I dare not show you
for fear that you will drown.

Related posts:

• Third Culture Kids and Cultural Identity Confusion
• Third Culture Kids Learning to be themselves
• Interview with Heidi Sand-Hart author of the book "home Keeps Moving"
• Nina Sichel on understanding TCKs on Children's Mental Health Network website

Image thanks to Karpati Morgue file

Looking forward to this film: "Shanghai Calling"

Just to let you know that I am looking forward to watching this film. Just watching the trailer makes my heart skip a few beats. I am a third culture kid and I just love:

• meeting people from other cultures
• hearing foreign languages 
• adventure
• travelling
• a new challenge
• tasting new foods
• a multicultural environment

All above elements are included in this new film. Just enjoy the preview. I'm sure (adult) third culture kids, expatriates, immigrants, cross culture kids, global nomads and anyone who has experienced a move from one culture to another culture will appreciate this film.

More information about the film can be found at www.shanghaicalling.com and on twitter @Shanghailicious.

Related posts:

• So many Global Stories Waiting to be told
• Book review of the new book "Expat Teens Talk"
• Neither here nor there...where do I belong?
• Aga Magdolen's trailer "Les Passagers"

Twitter update week 16: children growing up in other cultures

Thank you all for visiting my blog. I am really excited that many people find the way to this blog and I hope you find what you are looking for. It's time for a twitter update. I will share recent interesting twitter links with you. I also want to let you know that I wrote a guest blog this week at The Migrating Yankee. The post is called "Clogs with a story to tell", do hop over and have a read. I met Tiffany from The Migrating Yankee at a writing workshop and she was the first person who asked me to write a guest blog. Thank you Tiffany, it's always good to celebrate your "firsts".

A guest post about not fitting in & Third Culture Kids: http://bit.ly/JetxNZ

Dutch tulips: Spring in the air @DrieCulturen

Great post on Third Culture Kids from @marilyngard: "Chameleon, Imposter, or Third Culture Kid?" http://wp.me/p1gwBI-Bb

Found this today. For TCKs change is imminent! How you deal with it makes the difference http://bit.ly/HYNSoS

Third Culture Kids - Emotions about Moving Back Home for University http://bit.ly/INbFLP

Here's the story of someone who is proud to be a third culture kid! @DougGulleson                    http://bit.ly/IQSsDM 

Gr8 story of a third culture kid becoming an expat "My home is airport terminals, new sites & city streets" by @TweetingAuthor http://bit.ly/HUlk3g 

Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: USA http://is.gd/Js7OZa #Global_Differences

RT@JoParfitt Writers Abroad Radio show 37: Nina Sichel, co-editor of fab, research-packed TCK stuff: Writing Out of Limbo http://bit.ly/HPMqsp

Rejoice with your family: Top three things to do with your Global Nomad http://goo.gl/7UVrf
Global parenting has its drawbacks but the joy.. RT@ExpatApple Global Parenting – My Telegraph http://soc.li/4G7FTUK

The Significance of Food and the Expat Child http://vsb.li/JhkH88 via @Jsimens

Check this RT@Jsimens uploaded a @YouTube video http://youtu.be/4yY3qYzHwOA?a How to Build Emotional Resilience in Your Child

"Ik snak om meer te zien van deze wereld!" Jessica 13jr, geboren in #Australië, gewoond in Dubai en nu NL http://bit.ly/HMOD8G

If you have interesting links please share them with us. Thanks

Neither here nor there...where do I belong?

 

"We all grew up in multiple countries

and multiple worlds,

the reasons are different 

and where we grew up is completely different

but we are united by this experience."

These are just a few words of the film "Neither here nor There" produced by Eman Ryan Yamazaki. The film is all about third culture kids, growing up among worlds. A trailer can be seen above. Clips of the film will be shown at The Families in Global Transition Conference (FIGT) 2012 in Washington this Friday 30th of March. The DVD of the film is for sale.

It's a documentary that explores cultural identity for people who have grown up in places other than their home culture, known as Third Culture Kids. Through the stories of six people, the film investigates the often overlooked effects on adults who had international upbringings, their struggles to fit in and an eternal search to belong. "Neither Here Nor There," explores the ideas of cultural identity. One person says: 

"I am a confusion of cultures, uniquely me"

As you know I was a third culture kid too. I have been thinking about the trailer of the film. I can identify with the people in the film. Their story is just like mine. The following words are my thoughts on this topic.

The past I cannot change,

the future I can try to influence

the present I can make the most of

but most of all I want to accept myself, just the way I am.

I will be happy just because I'm ME.

Mix together a little of these countries: the Netherlands, Zambia, Malawi and Zimbabwe.

Stir well

Add lots of sunshine

Allow to mature

Sprinkle with some tears

Enjoy the result: ME.

What are your thoughts on this topic? 

Related posts:

• Cultural identity confusion and third culture kids
• The downside of growing up as a third culture kid
• Children of the world: where are your roots?
• Third culture kids learning to be themselves
• Aga Magdolen's TCK film "Les Passagers"

Great twitter links on kids growing up in other cultures

Photo by Janneke @DrieCulturen Yummy Indonesian food!

So sorry that it has been quiet here on my blog. I have been on holiday and have been enjoying travelling abroad, just like most third culture kids do. Have you seen Aga Magdolen's film "Les Passagers"? A text in the film is:

"Before I learned to walk I already knew how to fly".

So flying is second nature to us. Airports can be a cause of excitement: the door to the rest of the world. This time I was in Indonesia. All my senses have been stimulated. There is so much to see, hear, smell, taste(!) and feel. When I am in other countries I feel "alive". It feels good.

I just wanted to let you know that I was asked to write a guest blog this week. If you would like to read it hop over to this blog Tales from Windmill fields. It's all about cultural identity confusion and third culture kids. This was my second guest blog. My first guest blog was on Expat Explorer and it's called "Where are you from?"

Here are some great twitter links just in case you missed them:

Good news for #TCKs in Europe! Ruth van Reken is coming to a Third culture kid conference April 2013 http://bit.ly/ym6WvN

"I can truly say that my experiences have given me the greatest gifts one could ever ask for" A third culture kid says http://bit.ly/x8vCR1 

Third culture kids being the hidden immigrants. Identify! http://bit.ly/xNVks5 

How to help kids deal with a move abroad... http://wp.me/p1J9Lk-VB

3 Important Factors to Consider When Raising a Bilingual Child http://bit.ly/y8TbFP

Great read! Musings on the meaning of the word "Home" in an article by former third culture kid http://bit.ly/zyz6d2  

Worth reading: "Pivotal journeys for third culture kids" http://bit.ly/AeaajD 

Third culture kids and the questions they get http://wp.me/pKKy1-ua

Having a Baby Abroad – #UAE http://is.gd/KoVma0

Having a Baby Abroad - Global Differences Series: #SCOTLAND http://is.gd/TrgayD  

I’m like a chameleon, tend to start talking like people I’m surrounded with. #TCKs & accents http://bit.ly/yH9z8B

Want to study #medicine in English in Europe? Check what the possibilities are for #globalnomads http://bit.ly/wr0Txs

Please add your link if you have news on third culture kids or anything that has to do with kids growing up in other cultures. Thanks.

Related posts:

• Great third culture kid information on the web
• Language Links for parents raising multilingual children
• Twitter update week 49
• Book Review of new book: Expat Teens Talk

Guest blog by An African Gypsy: A story of an Adult Third culture kid

I was born in ex-Yugoslavia in the 1960’s. My divorced mother met a Sudanese student of Agriculture when I was five. Later, they got married and we moved: first to Iraq then Libya and traveled extensively by car through Turkey, Greece, and Egypt.

When I was twelve we settled in Khartoum, Sudan where I attended a Catholic school for girls and lived on a farm by the Nile. Sudan was a melting pot comprised of Coptics, Syrians, Greeks, Egyptians, Lebanese, numerous Sudanese tribes as well as the expat community. An entire generation of multiethnic and multifaith children.

There was something exhilarating and never monotonous about having all these customs, cultures and beliefs blend in one place, constantly something new to learn. Bewitched by the music, folklore and language of each country I have visited or lived in, I still love applying the intricate patterns of Henna and wearing the colourful Tobe. (A garment indigenous to Sudan that is draped around the body and worn loosely over the head) My favorite facet of such a lifestyle was accepting everyone equally. Colour, race or faith made no difference to me. Most people I grew up with were mixed race including my siblings who are also Muslim.

On the farm in Sudan

Even though I loved Africa I missed my grandparents, my father and my hometown. Also, I didn’t fit into any of the existing *categories* in the Sudan. I was not half Sudanese as many of my friends were and I was not an expat child whose parents worked for embassies and foreign companies. I grew up immersed in a Sudanese household, with a Sudanese stepfamily and half African siblings but my outer appearance didn’t fit my colloquial Arabic dialect or my unconsciously native mannerisms. Little children would run after me on the street giggling and shouting, “Halabiya” (Gypsy) due to my fair skin. (In Sudan, people from a gypsy origin are lighter skinned) Or they called me “Khawagiya”. Foreigner. It didn’t feel good.

As I get older, my birthplace, my hometown of Osijek by the Drava River tugs at my heart more urgently. I get emotional over Balkan songs and jokes. I miss the aroma of local bread, the delicate peaches, and chestnuts in the winter...the fields of sunflowers. On the other hand, the magnificent Nile, the scent of mangoes and jasmine and the rhythm of African drums call me just as powerfully.

Nowadays, I live in Dubai, interacting with people from 198 nationalities. Listening to the soothing echoes from a host of languages intrigues me in countless ways. Here, I blend in.

This interest in multiculture has led me to pen stories about individuals who are displaced, then thrown together in a culturally alien setting and how that changes them. My novel ‘Dubai Wives’ follows the lives of eight women from ethnically, culturally and religiously diverse backgrounds and their transformative journey in the glamorous metropolis of Dubai, a place as intricate and complex as the woven threads of a beautiful carpet.

Through all my writing and inner self searching I have realized that I will probably never be completely content in any one place, cursed and blessed by the countless forces that  have shaped me.

Good sites for third culture kids: http://www.tckworld.com/ and the Global Nomads Group. 

                                         ******************************************** 

Thank you Zvezdana Rashkovich for your guest blog! It's my honour. Zvezdana is author of the novel Dubai Wives. On her website www.zvezdanarashkovich.com you can find more information. We met on twitter @SleeplessinDubai in 2011. We have in common that we both grew up in Africa and are both (adult) third culture kids.

Meet Sammy the snail, a third culture kid!

Here are some of Sammy's tips if you are moving overseas:

1.  Keep family traditions alive (like celebrating Sinterklaas?)
2. Bring soms familiar items from your home and put them in your new home.
3. Create a special album or a box with memories and add new things as you go along. Then when you look at it you can remember all the great times.
4. Stay in touch with old friends. Email is a good idea or you can also send a parcel.

Sammy hopes you have a great move! 

Do you want to know more about Sammy? In an earlier post called Global Nomads on the move part 2 I wrote about Helen Maffini's book called Sammy's Next Move. Helen was a third culture kid and she has lived and worked in 11 countries. Helen is a Canadian/British educational consultant who is currently living in Australia. 

Want to read more?

Global Nomads on the move it includes the short film MOVE, worth watching.
Libby Stephens explains what third culture kids are.
Children of the World: where are your roots?
Aga Magdolen's film "Les Passagers"
New book "Emotional Resilience and the expat child"by Julia Simens 

Do you have tips when moving with children? If you were a third culture kid, do you have memories of your moves? Any advice?

The palettes of the global nomad, all about food

Fried flying ants: photo thanks to L.Lagore

As I wrote in the post Global nomads on the move recently 3 films have be made called: Move, Eat, and Learn. Today my topic will be on eating. Global nomads have taste buds that are used to the tastes of the world. There are so many different dishes, so many different tastes, and so many different foods. Just to discover them all is an adventure. The short film at the end captures this adventure well. Tastes and smells bring back memories of my childhood in Africa.

Words I associate with the word "EAT":

• Enjoy
• Appetite
• Tasty

One of my favourite desserts is pavlova, a meringue based dessert named after the Russian ballet dancer Anna Pavlova. I first ate this dessert in Zimbabwe probably at a potluck meal. A potluck meal is meal where everyone just brings something along to share with all. It is so much fun, a great surprise what will be on the menu, and a good way of tasting different dishes. Originally the pavlova is from New Zealand or Australia. I found a recipe for you. You can decorate it with the fruit of choice. By the way potluck meals are great in international communities because everyone can share their home country food.

The blog Persimmons and Chesnuts is written by an adult third culture kid who lived Japan as a child. The writer has developed a passionate love affair with food and especially Asian food. The blog has a post called The palettes of TCKs: chicken wings, it is worth reading. There are more recipes on the blog.

Once I was in Indonesia and I had the privilege of tasting klappertaart, an Indonesian-Dutch dessert, delicious! I wrote a post on eten in het buitenland (a Dutch post on food overseas) before. One of the strangest things I ever ate were fried flying ants, they are really crunchy! Here's the recipe. I found  somebody else who ate them too and wrote a post on eating flying ants. I must admit that I recently refused to eat fried scorpions (China), the thought of eating a scorpion was just too terrible. There was no way it was going to find it's way down my gut!

My roots are Dutch and seeing as I live in the Netherlands I suppose I must make mention of Dutch food. Well on the blog Clogs and Tulips you can find more information on stroopwafels, boerenkool, patat and other foods. What are your eating adventures? Have you eaten strange foods? Do you have "food" memories? Please share them with us.

 Click here for the film EAT. Enjoy!

5 Tips voor jongeren die vanuit het buitenland naar hun “thuisland” gaan om te studeren.

Dit zijn 5 tips van Tina Quick voor jongeren die vanuit het buitenland terug naar hun “thuisland” gaan om te studeren. Tina Quick heeft het boek The Global Nomad´s Guide to university Transition geschreven. Hartelijk dank Tina dat ik deze tips in het Nederlands mocht vertalen en op deze blog mocht zetten. Wil je deze adviezen in het Engels lezen, zie dan het interview met Tina Quick van Expat Women.

1. Ga je “thuisland” in als of het een onbekend land voor je is. Dan kom je voor minder verrassing te staan. Koop de boeken die buitenlanders over je “thuisland” kopen, ga naar bijeenkomsten met andere internationale studenten en verwacht het onverwachte.
2. Het gevoel nergens bij te horen of niet te passen is één van de grootste zorgen van TCKs. Begrijp dat het niet iets te maken heeft met jou als persoon maar dat het te maken heeft met jou levenservaringen en die maken jou anders dan de meeste mensen om jou heen op de universiteit of hoge school.
3. Mensen die altijd in één cultuur hebben gewoond hebben een andere manier van relaties aangaan dan global nomads. Soms is het moeilijk om ze te leren kennen. Geef ze wat tijd en heb wat genade. Luister naar hun verhalen zodat zij jou verhalen ook willen aanhoren.
4. Global nomads vinden hun gevoel ergens “thuis” te horen in de relaties met andere die dezelfde ervaringen hebben gehad – andere jongeren die ook een expat levensstijl hebben gehad. Zoek TCK gemeenschappen op je universiteit of hogeschool of begin er zelf één.
5. Leer praktische vaardigheden die je nodig hebt op de universiteit zoals internet bankieren, auto rijden (in Nederland moet je kunnen fietsen) de was doen, boodschappen doen, koken voordat je het huis uitgaat. De eerste tijd moet je al zo veel nieuwe dingen leren dus als je dit al kunt zal het minder stressvol zijn.

Helaas bestond dit boek niet toen ik ging studeren en deze adviezen heb ik destijds ook niet gekregen. Ik hoop dat jongeren en ouders ze ter harte nemen want zo´n overgang is pittig genoeg.
Meer informatie is ook te vinden in mijn blog bericht: Third culture kids going to university.

Heb jij nog meer tips? Ik hoor ze graag!

Nieuw boek "The Global Nomad's Guide to University Transition"

Het boek van Tina Quick "The Global Nomad's Guide to University Transition" is geschreven voor jongeren die de overgang maken naar de universiteit. Het is vooral voor de jongeren geschreven maar er is ook een hoofdstuk voor de ouders. Ik moet eerlijk bekennen dat ik het boek nog niet gelezen heb. Het staat wel op mijn verlanglijstje! 

Recent heb ik een interessant interview van Tina Quick, de schrijfster van het boek gehoord door Jo Parfitt. Het interview is in het Engels hier te horen.Tina Quick is ervaringsdeskundige. Zij is een adult third culture kid (ATCK) en zij heeft met haar gezin in verschillende landen gewoond. Op haar website International Family Transitions legt ze oa. uit wat een cultuurschok is, wat Third Cultuur Kids(TCK) zijn en hoe het is om als gezin te verhuizen.

boek via Amazon kopen
boek via Book Depository kopen

Op de website van Expat Women is een Engelstalig interview met Tina Quick te lezen waar in ze 5 tips geeft aan jongeren die een overgang vanuit het buitenland maken naar de universiteit. Lees hier een blog bericht van mij met de 5 tips voor jongeren die terug naar hun thuisland gaan om te studeren. Er zijn ook 6 tips voor de ouders van deze jongeren.

Ik ben erg benieuwd of er in Nederland extra aandacht is voor jongeren die uit het buitenland komen en die naar de universiteit gaan of naar het HBO. Mocht iemand hier meer over weten, dan hoor ik het graag!

Lees ook mijn blog bericht: Third culture kids going to university.

10 voordelen van het opgroeien in het buitenland!

De volgende eigenschappen heb je (waarschijnlijk) ontwikkeld:

1. Cross culturele vaardigheden
2. Sociale vaardigheden
3. Taalkundige vaardigheden
4. Goed kunnen observeren
5. Het makkelijk kunnen aanpassen
6. Het waarderen van diversiteit
7. Een brede wereldvisie
8. Het accepteren van een andere denkwijze
9. Bruggenbouwer
10. Fundament leggen voor het zijn van een echte wereldburger

Meer informatie kan je lezen in het boek "Third Culture Kids: the experience of Growing up among worlds" van David C. Pollock and Ruth E. van Reken.

Meer lezen kan ook op de website van het Denizen online magazine. Het is een groep third culture kids (TCK's) of wel mensen die in het buitenland opgeroeid zijn die daar verhalen publiceren. Het is de moeite waard om daar eens te kijken. 

Zoals aan veel dingen zitten er ook nadelen aan: De 10 nadelen van het opgroeien in het buitenland.