Showing posts with label Adult third culture kid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adult third culture kid. Show all posts

Saturday, 6 January 2018

Happy New Year and there is still time to register for early bird rate for Families in Global Transition Conference 2018

I want to wish you all a happy new year! I have some dreams that I hope will come true in 2018 and I hope you have dreams too for this year. Today is Epiphany, Three Kings' Day. I was in Gent, Belgium this week and discovered Three Kings' cake in a bakery. I had never seen it before. Apparently there are quite a few countries where they have the tradition of Three Kings' Cake. In French it is called galette des rois. If you want to know more, then here are 5 facts about Kings' Cake. I really like discovering new things! See the image for the cake I discovered.

This year the Families in Global Transition Conference will take place in the Hague, the Netherlands again from 8-10 March 2018. It is still possible to register for the early bird rate, you have until the 15th of January 2018! The theme of the conference is: Diverse Voices, celebrating the past, present, and future of globally mobile lives. An adult third culture kid recently asked me if the conference was suitable for adult third culture kids living in their passport cultures, well I would say it is. What I noticed is that everyone at the conference has a unique story, just like I have and you have, and there is room for each story to be told. There are many expats, third culture kids, organizations involved with expats and their children at the conference. At this moment in time there are registrations from more than 31 countries, so it is a truly international conference. If you live in the Netherlands then it is your chance to join the conference. The venue of the next conference will probably be is Asia. Will we see you at the conference?

No idea what to expect? Lucille, an expat mum and storyteller shares her experience of attending the FIGT conference in 2017.

Amy Clare Tasker shares her experiences of giving a workshop at FIGT 2017. The funny thing is that those are my words "Home is where the radishes grow" and I am the blond person on the floor depicting "Home is where the radishes grow".

More news:
New edition of Third Culture Kids Growing up Among Worlds available (Third Edition 2017)

By the way have you ever eaten a Three Kings' cake? Is it a tradition you celebrate? Can you tell us more about the tradition?

Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Interesting interview with Rachel Cason, adult third culture kid, researcher

I am glad to introduce Rachel Cason to you. We met each other a few years ago at a EuroTCK conference
in Germany. When we met she was doing research, she has agreed to answer a few questions specially for you.

 1. Would you tell us a little about yourself?
Hi! Well, I'm an adult TCK, a missionary kid to be exact. I was born and raised in West Africa until the age of 16, when my family "returned" to England to settle there indefinitely. After finishing the last two year of my school education, I took a gap year, working with children with additional needs. I went to Keele university to study French and Sociology, and enjoyed a couple of study abroad opportunities in that time also. In my Masters year I got married, and during my doctoral studies I had my beautiful daughter. Sadly, my marriage was not a happy one, and during my maternity leave my husband and I divorced. I suppose my life has been full of transitions, reaching beyond my childhood years! My daughter starts school this September, so that's another transition for us at the moment!

2. Can tell us about your research?
My thesis examines the ways in which the experiences of Third Culture Kids, or the children of expatriates, impacts upon their adult notions of belonging, identity, and relationship to place. It was prompted by a professor in my final year, who spotted research potential for this relatively understudied population after I did a research project exploring whether or not TCKs should merit consideration as disaporic. Typically, migration research has ignored TCKs, focussing instead on groups united by nationality or ethnicity. I wanted to explore the shared experiences of TCKs as originating in a shared expatriate culture.

3. For what degree did you do your research?
My PhD in Sociology, at Keele University.

4. What is your main conclusion?
This was an exploratory, qualitative study, rather than a quantitative one, so I have no concise statistics to sum things up with :) My main conclusions establish that rather than being rootless, TCKs are very much rooted in an expatriate, organisational culture. I suggest that there are characteristics and shared experiences that reach across expatriate organisations, be they military, business or missionary, and that these shared experiences have a huge impact on the development of TCKs sense of belonging, identity and place. Rather than observing that TCKs all share similar characteristics, I note that while many TCKs share similar worldviews, they are more likely to be reacting to the same experiences, than all reacting in similar ways to those experiences. In other words, there is a TCK culture, rather than a TCK personality. It's hard to narrow findings down, for fear of oversimplifying complex human experiences, but broadly; -

In terms of belonging, I found that TCKs often feel most comfortable in situations in which there is high diversity, and in which they may represent the ethnic minority; such a situation reflects their earliest experiences of culture as mediated by their expatriate organisations. TCKs were often found at the margins of society, often engaging constructively with their marginality (reaching out to other marginals, for example), yet some experienced deep isolation in their marginality.
In terms of identity, I observed many TCKs struggled as adults with the idea that they were getting better at 'blending in' to their passport culture. As 'perpetually unique' children, adult TCKs may need to find new ways in adulthood to express their individuality. For many TCKs, their adult careers proved a means through which they could negotiate their relationship with a local and global world. Nationality is an ambivalent identity, too restrictive for many, and yet crucial in understanding a TCK's experiences in their host country as national identification often mediated their interactions with that country(ies).
In terms of place, my findings counter suggestions that TCKs were 'placeless' and/or didn't find places meaningful or relevant, due to their high mobility. Rather, I found that TCKs had a keen emotional connection with place, and that it is possible that the presence of high mobility in adult TCKs may be a case of feeling propelled towards pepetual movement, rather than their making an active choice between settledness or mobility. Indeed, I suggest that of the many skill sets absorbed by many TCKs growing up in expatriate communities, being able to (or seeing the value of settling) is one that may be lacking.

5. How was it to hear so many TCK stories?
It was an absolute joy and privilege! It was striking though, that for many it seemed to be the first time they'd had this opportunity. We often tell stories from our lives to those around us, but very rarely do we tell the whole story, from beginning to present-day. It seemed a cathartic experience for many. This in itself made me feel the responsability of honouring the stories gifted to me so generously.

6. How did doing the research influence you?
It inspired me to try and find a way to meet the needs of the people I had spoken to. I was not able to do this directly; as a researcher this was beyond my remit. But for the many TCKs like them, I wanted to make sure that my research could be applicable to their lives in a way that would both validate and equip them to meet any challenges they may be facing.

7. What TCK research still needs to be done?
I would like to see more research on the gendered experiences of TCKs; the ways in which experiences in multiple host countries may be wildly different depending upon the gender of the TCK. This may be because of host cultural norms about the presence of men and women in public spaces, for example, or it may be that the gendered narratives of the expatriate organisations in which TCKs are raised merit examination in their own right. Gender is such a basic way in which we interpret personal and public identity, I feel this focus would illuminate the TCK experience hugely.

8. You have decided to start Life Story, tell us about it.
Life Story uses the life story interview as a therapeutic tool. In this way I directly apply my research experience to the process, both in the structure of the interview, and in the subsequent analysis of the interview. Life Story work offers the space to narrate and reflect on one's life story, and analysis of this interview focusses on connecting the past with the present through the emergence of particular patterns and themes.
This process can help anyone struggling to move forward positively in their lives to unlock past patterns of thinking and behaviours that may hold the key to a more empowered future. In this way, Life Story aims to encourage a more settled sense of self, one that is grounded in a full understanding of the past, but whose future is not limited by its history. 
I work with both TCKs and non-TCKs, and life story process is helpful for anyone seeking to find clarity in a fragmented history. I offer sessions by Skype primarily, although some face to face sessions may be possible also should clients be able to travel to Lincoln, England. 

9. Why do you think that telling your life story works for TCKs?
I think that TCKs especially find that their life stories get chopped up and fragmented, their revelation dependent on the appropriate audience or country. The life story interview offers an opportunity to bring all those fragments together in one place, and in so doing, offers an opportunity to gather all our fragmented selves together also. This in itself is a healing process, and also an empowering one, as it becomes possible to make connections between the 'chapters' of our lives that shed light on our current situations and challenges. Increased understanding of these connections then paves the way for positive changes that can move us forward, where we have felt stuck or without focus.

10. What advice would you give those who want to do research?
Stick at it! And follow the truths emergent in your work. Research is a lonely furrow, and it is easy to get discouraged. But though your work will not resonate with everyone, it will matter, and it adds to a body of knowledge and extends the voices that can be heard. That is hugely valuable in and of itself. 

11. What advice would you give TCKs in general?
I've typed an answer to this a few times, and then deleted it. I suppose I'm finding this one tricky because, at heart, I believe
that beyond any profiling or shared characteristics, TCKs are individuals first. Deeply distinct individuals. And I couldn't presume to ever give a group of individuals the same advice. Except this. Be you first, a TCK second. Understanding your TCK experiences and their impact is crucial to this. Otherwise it can be easy to mistake our tendencies for our desires. Unless we can root our 'selves' in a conscious vision for what we want our lives to look like, we will instead be driven by our tendencies, which may or may not coincide with our long term goals.

12. Any last comments?
Thank you so much for the opportunity to be interviewed! And just that if anyone has any queries or questions at all about Life Story, do get in touch. I am happy to reply to any emails of this nature, and anyone interested in the process is entitled to a free hour consultation by Skype to work through if life story work is something that might benefit them.

If you want to contact Rachel you can email her: rachelcason@explorelifestory.com
Or you can visit her website: www.explorelifestory.com Thank you so much for sharing about yourself and your research.

Readers have you had opportunities to tell people the whole story? What was it like?

Wednesday, 19 February 2014

Adult Third Culture Kids: Potential Global Leaders with Cross-Cultural Competence?

Time's flying and it is high time for me to write a new post. I once again read some interesting articles which I really feel I need to share with you. The first is a disseratation "Adult Third Culture Kids: Potential Global Leaders with Global Mindset" by Patricia Stokke (2013).

"The ability to bridge differences is an example of how ATCKs may integrate their international experience preparing them to work in global organisations." The ATCKs seem to be good "bridge builders". Patricia says that future research needs to be done to bring ATCKs and business together so that not only ATCKs recognize their global skills and abilities, but that recruiters, HR professionals, and hiring managers appreciate the potential value these individuals can offer organisations.

I came across another interesting article in the Journal of Global Mobiliy. This journal is new by the way and currently the articles in the first 3 issues are available for free (until the end of March 2014). In the article "Antecedents of dynamic cross-cultural competence in adult third culture kids (ATCKs)" by Tarique and Weisbord they look at what the predictors are of cross-cultural competence. They found that there are 5 predictors of cross-cultural competence in ATCKs:

  1. Varienty of early international exeperience (number of counries lived in) 
  2. Language diversity 
  3. The number of languages they speak
  4. Family diversity (the number of different ethnicities in their family's background)
  5. The personality trait of openess to experience (to which extend are individuals original, innovative and willing to take risks)
By the way dynamic cross-cultural competence includes knowledge, skills and attributes that are aquired through learning experiences. So it seems that  experiencing international travel during childhood and growing up abroad can provide competencies today's employers seek. This is good news for ATCKs. I feel I already knew this and you probably did too but I like it when research confirms these kind of things.

I like the article on DenizenMag "Making the Most of Your TCK Experience When Applying For a Job". As a TCKs you have adapted to new environments, so you will probably adapt quickly to your new working environment. Probably you have learnt to be flexible and adjust. You may be a "bridge builder". You may be have cross-cultural and multilingual communication skills. Recognize your own global skills and abilities! Make sure you mention them in your résumé. This is one of the things Ruth van Reken said too when she spoke at EuroTCK in Germany in 2013.

So it looks like we have cross-cultural competence, we are "bridge builders", we are the people empoyers are seeking. Will we be the global leaders of tomorrow? What do you think? Looking forward to your comments.

Related Posts:


Photo thanks to NPClark2k Morgue File

Monday, 12 August 2013

I am glad that another (Adult) Third Culture Kid Overcame his lifelong Identity Crisis

Once again I read an interesting article, this time on the Time Out Dubai website. The author grew up as a third culture kid but had never heard of the term until someone reacently shared about it on facebook. You see amazing things can even happen on facebook!

The author Hfu Reisenhofer explains that the question: Where are you from? Was a difficult one for him. Like it is for many of us. He writes:

"You see, for years I didn’t know who or what I am – at least officially. It sounds like an odd thing to say, but it’s the truth. If you were born in Tokyo but brought up in Hong Kong, have an Austrian passport but feel British, have a Japanese first name and a German last name but pronounce them with an English accent, the issue of where you’re from is not as straightforward as it seems."

A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ culture. The TCK frequently builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture may be assimilated into the TCK’s life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background.

Like Hfu I had an international childhood. I was born in Zambia, lived in Malawi and Zimbabwe but my passport country is the Netherlands. So am I African? Am I Dutch? Am I Zimbabwean? Am I a mix? Well years ago I discovered that I'm a third culture kid too.

I really like the end of the article. He says "So, go on, ask me where I’m from. I’ve finally got the answer."

I am so glad Hfu finally found the answer! I am still concerned because like him I think there are more adults and young people out there who grew up as third culture kids but have never heard the term. Who have not experienced the relief, the validation, discovered that they are not alone in this, and that there are more individuals like them. There is still work to be done. The word has to get out. Will you help spread the word?

How can we spread the word about the term third culture kids?

  1. Expat parents must teach their children.
  2. Teachers at international schools must teach their pupils about it.
  3. We adult third culture kids must spread the word around.
Do you have ideas how we can raise awareness? How can we get the word out? 


This is the trailer of the film "Les Passagers" I have shared it before but it is one of my favourites so I will share it again.

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Just the Right Book if You are Dreaming of a Portable Career

"Harness the winds of change for yourself and use them to sail to your next career destination".

This is just one of the great quotes in the 4th edition of A Career in Your Suitcase by Jo Parfitt and Colleen Reichrath-Smith. I am interested in this book even though I am not a trailing spouse but I am an adult third culture kid. I grew up moving around the globe and one of my dreams is to one day have a portable career. A career that I can just take with me when I move to the other side of the world for a couple of months or for longer. As it happens I am making a career change at the moment which is why I really enjoyed the book.

A portable career is work that you can take with you wherever you go. A portable career is based on who you are, your passion, your unique gifts and ability. It's the expression of yourself in your work.

The first couple of chapters are about finding your direction. What is your passion? The second part of the book helps you see your opportunity. The book is full of tips, inspiring quotes, exercises, resources and websites. The third part of the book puts it all together and adds practical information about working for yourself.

The book is inspiring and gives you lots of food for thought and for action of course. Something that struck me was the importance of connecting with other people. Barbara Sher, bestselling author of "I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What it Was", advises, "Failure to achieve our career ambitions does not result from a lousy attitude; rather from isolation." There are many examples in the book of expat wives that connect with others abroad and discover their passions. Jo Parfitt tells her story of how she wrote a cookbook called Dates in Oman and became a successful journalist in Dubai. Now she runs Summertime Publishing.

Colleen Reichrath-Smith made an international move from Canada to the Netherlands for love. She shares her personal story and the challenges she faced on this journey like having to get her driving license in the Netherlands. Colleen has years of experience working in the career field.

The winds of change are blowing over this globe. In this time of globalization many people are making international moves and I honestly believe that the number of people with a portable career will increase. This book is worth reading because it's a great tool that will help you discover your skills and how you can use them to reach your goal. By the way it's very important to write down your goals. You should have a mission statement, there's more about that in the book. You will be put to work but it's worth it in the end. 

This is what Ruth van Reken, Co-author of Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing up Among Worlds, Co-founder of Families in Global Transition says about the book.  

"Through her Career In Your Suitcase program, Jo Parfitt helps people everywhere think outside of their traditional boxes. She not only teaches but models how each of us can make all the pieces of our lives work together to form something new and satisfying in the middle of a changing world. I recommend this book highly to all who want to learn how to begin seeing the possibilities of new beginnings they may not have recognised before."

For more information check the website Careerinyoursuitcase.com. You can follow @SuitcaseCareer on twitter. You can buy the book A Career in Your Suitcase here.

By the way if you buy A Career in Your Suitcase online from 12th - 16th May on Kindle it's free!

Interested in what others say about Career in Your Suitcase?
There's a webinar Create Your Portable Career by Colleen Reichrath-Smith on 23rd April 2013 2pm Sydney time.

Please share your experiences of your portable career if you have one.

Tuesday, 18 December 2012

A Christmas Giveaway "Fly Away Home"

Maggie Mykleburst is the author of the book "Fly Away Home". It's actually a great title for a giveaway at this time of year. Isn't it what we all want to do at Christmas: fly home! Sometimes the question is where's home? Maggie was born and raised on the Jersey Shore. She is married to a Norwegian and they have lived as expats in Houston and the Netherlands.

The giveaway is a signed copy of Maggie's book, it will be send to you.Thank you so much Maggie for providing the giveaway and for answering my questions. I really enjoyed reading the answers, I hope you do too. To enter the giveaway leave a comment at the end of this post before the 31st of December 2012. I will draw a name from a hat and publish the name of the winner here on the blog on the 31st. The competition is closed now.

What was the reason that you were living abroad?
I’m actually still living abroad. I was born in the US and moved to Norway with my three children in 1988. I married a Norwegian and had two more children. My husbands job took us to Houston in 2005, where I became an expat in my own country. In 2007 we moved to the Netherlands, in 2010 we returned Norway.

Please tell us about your book "Fly Away Home".
Fly Away home is a memoir of my life. It starts before I was born, with my grandmother’s struggle to leave Norway and move to America. Years later, in a cruel twist of fate, I was forced to flee America with three young children and relocate in Norway. The story continues as I strive to find identity, happiness and love. 

What inspired you to write your book?

I was inspired by the need to tell my side of what is at times, a very complicated story. To explain to my children and to future generations of my family the decisions I made, and why I made them.

Many people want to write a book someday, but you did it! Who was your inspiration and what was the key to your success?
It started with scrapbooking, putting the events of my life together with pictures. I wasn’t a writer, but I knew I had a story to tell. Then while living in the Netherlands, I attended a ‘Write Your Life Stories’ class, which definitely helped put me on course.

What's your advice for other people or third culture kids wanting to write a book?
Don’t pressure yourself. Make an outline of your story and then take it one chapter at a time. You’ll be surprised how memories come flooding back. I had to keep a pad and pencil with me at all times.(If you don’t write things down on the spot, there’s a good chance they’ll disappear) Don’t get yourself tied up with trying to write like a professional, let it flow naturally. Later, a good editor can help you polish it up and it’s not as hard as you think to self publish.

Do you have any interesting new projects and the moment?
I’m taking an advanced writing class in Norwegian, who knows maybe someday I’ll be able to translate my own book into another language. (Big dream)

What did you most like about living abroad?
What was most difficult?

I’ll start with the most difficult... Learning to talk Norwegian! I only lived in the Netherlands for three years and didn’t feel the need to learn the language. But I’ve made Norway my home and my husband is Norwegian, so learning the language was a must.
What I like most about living abroad is all the new people I’ve met and the different experiences I’ve had.

How did living abroad influence your choice of career or study?
There would most likely be no book if I had not left America, since my book is mostly about having to start over. I probably wouldn’t have studied Norwegian either.

You parented cross-culture kids, what was that like?
After moving to Norway in 1988, my three older children had to spend summers in America with their father and that was hard. Two of those children moved back to America after finishing school, so now I have children in two countries. MY two youngest children were born in Norway, but after living in the Netherlands for three years they had difficulties readjusting to the move home. All of my children like to travel, they have compassion for others, an interest that extends beyond borders and a variety of friends from different cultures. I’m proud to be the mother of five, cross-culture kids.

Which languages do you speak? Do you have advice on learning languages for families living abroad now?
I speak English, Norwegian and can read a Dutch menu (hehe). If you’re living in a country temporarily and have the time, its always good to learn a new language. If you’ve made a new country your permanent home, then in order to fit in, I think it’s important to learn the language.

Do you have advice for families with children making international moves?
Listen and be supportive, but chances are they’ll adjust to their new surroundings faster than you. Mine went to school, joined sports and made new friends before I knew my way around the grocery store.
 
When and where did you first hear of the term “third culture kid (TCK)? How did you hear of it?
My children had very little trouble adjusting to living abroad, the problem for us came when it was time to move home again. They didn’t want to leave their ‘new’ life. It broke my heart when my son told me he no longer felt like a Norwegian or an American and that his ‘home’ was in the Netherlands. In looking for information to help, I came across the phrase ‘third culture kid‘ and was amazed by what I’d read. My son still refers to himself as a citizen of the world instead of a Norwegian or an American.
 
Do you have advice for TCKs or adult third culture kids (ATCKs

Although I think its great to consider yourself a citizen of the world, I still think its important to know where you come from. To feel a sense of pride and belonging to your passport country.

What characteristics have you developed or do you think you have developed due to living abroad?
Living and traveling far from home has definitely made me more adventurous and self reliant. It has also taught me to be more openminded and respectful of people from other cultures.

How was it to return to your “home country”?
This is a tricky question for me to answer. Although I’m American and proud of it, Norway is my home country now. Its where my house is, its where I live and it felt good to return.

With which countries do you feel a bond? Where’s home?
I feel a bond with the Netherlands, I will always be an American and Norway is my home.

Seeing as you lived in the Netherlands too: what is your funniest memory of the Netherlands? Anything you miss from here?
The first week we were there I was tired, cold (we had just come from Texas) and confused (didn’t know my way around or anything about Holland). With our kitchen supplies still in boxes, we took the children to McDonalds for dinner one evening. After receiving our order and finding a table, we started to eat. Realizing the girl had forgotten to give us ketchup and not seeing a self serve station, I went back and asked for some.
Me: “Could I have some ketchup, please?”
Her: “How many packets would you like?”
Me: “I don’t know, just give me a handful.”
Her: “Okay, that will be two euro’s please.”
Me: “What?! I have to pay for Ketchup?!”
Her: “Yes, 25 cents each.”
I paid the girl, went back to our table and start yelling at my husband (like a loud American) “Can you believe I had to pay for Ketchup? I’ve never paid for a ketchup packet before. What kind of country is this?!”

What I miss most about the Netherlands is riding my bike everywhere (here in Norway there are few bike paths and lots of mountains). I also miss buying fresh cut flowers every week (here in Norway flowers are mostly imported and therefore expensive). I miss the tulip fields in the spring and the park (De Horsten) which was directly across the street from where we lived. I miss shopping in the Hague, the market in Leiden, the beach in Scheveningen and the charm of Wassenaar. I miss everything (except paying for ketchup, hehe). Luckily I still have friends there and visit quite often.
Thank you!

If you are interested there is more information on Maggie's website www.flyawayhomebook.com. You can find her on twitter too @flyawayhomebook. The competition is closed. The winner is a  Dutch third culture kid living in Norway.

Related Posts

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Book review of the book "Expat Alien" by Kathleen Gamble

I am so happy that there are third culture kids out there writing books and telling us their story. Kathy Gamble not only grew up abroad but also followed suit. She married a Russian American, moved to Moscow and raised their son there. As an expat parent she raised their cross-cultural kid in Russia.

I met Kathy online through her blog Expat Alien. She has written her memoir "Expat Alien, My Global Adventures".

Her parents moved to Burma in the 1950's and that's where Kathy was born. Due to her father's job in Third World agriculture with the Ford Foundation the family moved to Mexico, Colombia and then to Nigeria. At thirteen years of age she goes to boarding school in Switzerland. She likes the school better than the one she attended in Texas for a while. In Switzerland "I felt like I could breathe" she writes. Kathy describes life at boarding school. The food was generally bad and you did not get to choose who you lived with.

While she was at boarding school in Europe she travelled the continent from Venice, Florence in Italy to Paris and London. She learned to ski in St Moritz. Actually wherever she was she travelled. "I used to run into people I knew a lot in airports and museums around the world".

The book gives insight into the life of a third culture kid. Kathy survived a plane crash, an earthquake and a military coup but to her her life was normal. It was only when she moved to California to start college that she discovered that the other girls didn't like her stories of her life abroad. They thought she was bragging or lying. Her first year was very difficult, she suffered from a "reverse" culture shock. I can really identify with this part of the book because my experience was very similar to Kathy's. I went to university in the Netherlands but had a similar experience. Kathy starts to wonder whether there is something wrong with her. During the years in America she never got over the feeling that she was different.

While living in Moscow, in her forties she discovers what global nomads are and that they are also called third culture kids. It was her "aha" moment, this was what she had been looking for. She says that she is not from anywhere. She is a third culture kid, from everywhere and nowhere.

The book is a great read for anyone who grew up globally or parents who are raising third culture kids. If you just enjoy travel and adventure stories then I am sure the book will appeal to you too.

Related Posts:
Interview with author Heidi Sand-Hart of "Home Keeps Moving"
Book review of Expat Teens Talk
New mentoring Program for Expat Teens
Book review of the Globalisation of Love by Wendy Williams

Thursday, 15 November 2012

Food for Thought on Raising Kids Abroad

"I am a TCK, and so no matter where I go, I am always a minority. My culture is not shared by anyone because it was built out of the fragments of so many different pieces of so many different cultural puzzles." 

These words written by James R.Mitchener jumped out of the page at me. He wrote these words on his blog called Third Culture Kid Life. It's true for me too. My culture is not shared by anybody, even my brothers and sister have a different story though we grew up in the same family and partly in the same countries. My culture is built out of fragments of many different cultural puzzles. It was a great puzzle to kind of understand myself and understand my culture. Discovering that I grew up as a third culture kid (TCK) really helped me. The fact that I discovered there was a group of people called third culture kids who had similar experiences, similar strange feelings was one step on the way to coming to terms with my past. As James says other kids who grew up abroad understand me to a certain degree but still each story is unique, different.

Schiphol International Airport in Madurodam by DrieCulturen
Does this mean that I am telling you not to raise your kids abroad? Am I saying that you should not move them from country to country, continent to continent, from one corner of the world to the next? No it's not what I am saying but I do want you to think about what the consequences will be for your children.

  • What challenges will they face? 
  • How can I help my kids while making international moves? 
  • What impact will this lifestyle have on my kids?
  • What's the best age to relocate with kids?
  • What language shall we raise our kids in? Please take time to think about this one because it has so many consequences.

One of the ways of discovering what the consequences might be of raising kids abroad is reading about it. Read books, articles and blogs written by people who have grown up abroad.

Like Clara Wiggins who writes about it in The Story of An Expat Child, Grown up. Here's what she says:
"One of the lasting results of my upbringing has been a wanderlust that has taken me to more corners of the world than I can remember."  

Cecilia Haynes writes about her experiences of growing up abroad in this post An Unsettled but Very Happy Third Culture Kid Part 3."Never think of moving abroad as a deprivation of any sort. It is the greatest gift you can give your child." 

Marina Sofia, an adult third culture kids wrote the poem "Who am I?" "I am all the places in which I’ve left my heart."

I have written about what I think the advantages are and what my 10 disadvantages are of growing up abroad. What do you think? Is raising your child abroad the greatest gift you can give them? Have you considered what the consequences of a global lifestyle will be for your kids?

Related Posts:

Sunday, 11 November 2012

Third Culture Kid: Proud to be Dutch

On Facebook recently a friend of mine, who grew up as a third culture kid too posted this video. She added the text "Proud to be Dutch". I must say I grew up in Africa with the same feeling, I was proud that I came from Holland (or the Netherlands). If you don't know why then you need to see this short film.

Related Posts:
The Top countries to raise kids in 2012
New Mentoring Program for Expat Teens 
Book Review of the Book Expat Teens Talk 
Meet Rebecca an expat raising trilingual kids in the Netherlands

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Guest Post By My Sister: Where she's from!

Photo of Pleuntje by Keke Keukelaar  www.3hoog-achter.nl
In September I challenged you to let us know "Where you are from". Guest blogger Lucia Bodeman was the first to share about where she's from. Now it's my honour to introduce my sister Pleuntje. Here's her story:

I am from corncurls and freezies, from Marmite on cheese and Stoney Gingerbeer. 
I am from the cool verandahs, avocado trees and baked, red earth roads.
I am from snorkeling at Cape Maclear, from chlorine in garden pools, the streets of Toronto and bridges of Amsterdam.
I am from birthday breakfasts in bed and Sinterklaas, from Frisian heritage, southern hemispheres and Christmas dinners outside.
I am from the crossing of borders and packing of suitcases, cycling, swimming and frequent flyer logs.
From language lessons during the holidays and sports and music every day.
I am from more than a dozen churches, being welcomed, asked to come forward or stand and then we’d sing.
I'm from Blantyre, now from Belgium, from sadza, zuurkool stamppot and appeltaart.
From the times we would wear wintercoats made by my mother out of blankets, the Peugeot stuck in the snow and my brother stuck in sliding doors at an Austrian airport.
I am from Mutare and Bulawayo, Lelystad and Amsterdam, Hamilton and Ghent. From where? Yes, there. So be it. Amen.

Related posts:
I am just wondering: Where are you from? Care to share it with us? Here's the "Where I'm from template". 
I think it is great fun for third culture kids or cross culture kids to do this little exercise. So have fun. If you want to contribute your story send it in to: drieculturen@gmail.com.

Sunday, 9 September 2012

I am from..........and where are you from?

Recently I read a lovely post on a Dutch blog Opgroeien in het Buitenland. The post inspired me to write about where I'm from. Here is the result.

I am from....

I am from Acacia trees, Tanganda tea and tasty Royco soup.
I am from lovely gardens with hoopoe birds, cold stone houses and the fresh smell after the first rains.
I am from avocado trees, red flame lilies, roasted peanuts and watching the sunrise on a Matopos kopje.
I am from singing grace, climbing mount Mulanje and finding mountain cristals, from growing up bilingual and letters from grandparents far away.
I am from making music and cycling, from climbing trees and camping holidays with open fires.
I am from public speaking contests, toastmasters club and swimming galas.
I am from praise songs and love meals. Potluck diners and youth group fun.
I am from Zambia, Malawi, Zimbabwe and the Netherlands. Moving is the name of the game.
I am from homemade lemon curd, muesli, chutney and oliebollen (oil dumplings). From hagelslag (chocolate sprinklers) and drop (liquorish). From milk and cheese.
I am from the warm heart of Africa, but not officially. I am from the land of the multiculti. The tribe of third culture kids.
A global nomad. A global citizen.
I am from neither here nor there.
I am from all the people and places that I love.

                                                            *********************************************************************

I wonder where you are from. I used the "Where I'm from template". You can use the template too. I hope you try it, because it is actually great fun. I'm really interested in hearing where you are from. Let me know if you would like to share your story here. I could publish it as a guest post.Just to let you know that Lucia Bodeman has accepted the challenge. Here's her "poem" telling us where she's from. Thanks Lucia! Who's next?

Related posts:

Sunday, 2 September 2012

Libby Purves: An Adult Third Culture Kid?

A while ago I discovered that Colin Firth, the actor in the film King's Speech was a third culture kid. He grew up in Nigeria, the United States and England. I like reading stories of the lived of people who grew up abroad just like I did. Today I read an article in the Dutch newspaper the NRC about Libby Purves. I am always really interested when I discover that someone was a third culture kid too. As a diploma's daughter Libby grew up in Israel, Bangkok, South Africa, France and England.

I am impressed by all the different things Libby Purves does or has accomplished. Here I name a few:
  1. She won a scholarship to St. Anne's College in Oxford.
  2. She presents the program Midweek on BBC radio 4. In 1978 she became the youngest ever presenter of radio 4s Today programme.
  3. She writes a column for The Times newspaper.
  4. She has written a series of books on childcare. Her books on childcare and family life have been translated into eleven languages worldwide. Like the Spanish book "Cómo no ser una madre perfecta".
  5. She has written eleven novels including Mother Country, and a travel book, One Summer's Grace, about a 1,700-mile sailing journey round Britain with children aged three and five. Here's a list of more books she has written.
I discovered that Libby has written a Personal Memoir called "Holy Smoke: Religion and Roots". 

This is the book description on Amazon:  
'Middle Age' writes Libby Purves 'is a fine high vantage point for looking back. The official passing of another thousand years away from Bethlehem is a stimulus to thinking about Christianity'. In this fascinating and very personal book she does both: recalling her childhood in convents around the world with stories of nuns amid the gilded temples of Bangkok, rations of beer for nine-year-olds after High Mass in France and convent life in South Africa at the height of apartheid. As adults many Catholic girls of this generation gave up on religion, embracing agnosticism and the Pill with equal enthusiasm. The author describes Oxford in the late '60s, political idealism and religious disillusion; and traces the encounters that have shaped her thinking, and how, ironically, the scandals in the Church brought her closer to her childhood faith.
This sounds like an interesting book. Has anyone read this personal memoir? 

I was surprised to discover that Libby Purves has battled with depression all her life. After her son committed suicide she wrote a novel on bereavement Shadow Child."There is no solution to grief".

Here are some general characteristics on third culture kids: education and career as found on Wikipedia. These statistics are for U.S. TCKs:
  • TCKs are 4 times as likely as non-TCKs to earn a bachelor's degree (81% vs 21%)[27]
  • 40% earn an advanced degree (as compared to 5% of the non-TCK population.)[21]
  • 45% of TCKs attended three universities before attaining a degree.[21]
  • 44% earned undergraduate degree after the age of 22.[21]
  • Education, medicine, business management, self-employment, and highly-skilled positions are the most common professions for TCKs.[21]
  • TCKs are unlikely to work for big business, government, or follow their parents' career choices. "One won't find many TCKs in large corporations. Nor are there many in government ... they have not followed in parental footsteps".[21]

The reason that I have added the statistics is because I am so impressed by all the different things Libby Puves has accomplished. It sounds like she is an ambitious and highly skilled person. I have read that many adult third culture kids are highly ambitious. Libby has had to battle depression all her life, it makes me wonder whether that has anything to do with her growing up as a third culture kid? I don't know, but it does make me wonder.

Are you a highly ambitious adult third culture kid? Have you had to battle depression? Do you think it helps adult third culture kids to write about their youth?

Related posts:

Sunday, 13 May 2012

Twitter update week 19: all about kids growing up in other cultures

Photo thanks: Chilombiano Morgue File
A great article about trilingual family & benefits of living abroad  

Having a Baby Abroad -Global Differences Series: BRAZIL

Found this today "Africa stays with me" words by a third culture kid who grew up in Africa. Read about the experience

Need some fun things to with your kids? 101 kids craft ideas

Wow, look at these exotic pets in this multicultural third culture kids family in ADVENTURE  

Book Review “Home Keeps Moving” by raisingTCKs

Ever been to Ghent? You should, here's why: 5 Reasons Why I Fell in Love with Ghent -

New research about Facebook addiction

Here's an expat mum in discovering that her kids are third culture kids, and wondering..  

"Home to me is where I feel understood, accepted & comfortable with my life choices." Words by adult TCK

Want to know what the differences are between having a baby in GERMANY or BELGIUM? Check here  

Netherlands ranks in Top 10 Best Places to be a Mother.

"Returning to Canada after 4 years in Peru was quite the challenge as an 18 yr old" words by a tck

4 kids, 20 suitcases and a beagle: "Change the Tone".  

If you have an interesting blog or website you know of about third culture kids please add your link. Thanks. I hope you have a good week.

Related posts:

Sunday, 22 January 2012

Book review of "The Globalisation of Love". There's love in the air, all around the globe.

I heard about the book “The Globalisation of Love” on The Writer’s Abroad Radio show. Jo Parfitt interviewed the author Wendy Williams and my interest was awakened immediately. When I started to think about it, I realized that there are so many people around me in a multicultural relationship (a GloLo relationship as Wendy calls it in the book). I have neighbours, colleagues, family and friends around me in multicultural relationships. Even my own relationship brings together different cultures. The reason I choose to write a review of this book on this blog is that I have a feeling that third culture kids (TCKs) probably have more chance of entering into a GloLo relationship just because they mix with people from lots of different nationalities. Adult third culture kids usually love traveling too, so you have more chance of meeting your sweetheart on the other side of the globe.

The author Wendy Williams lived in 6 different countries and worked internationally for 18 years. Wendy is Canadian and she is married to an Austrian and is living in Vienna. They have an Austro-Canadian daughter.

GloLo couples have to bring together in addition to two personalities (which is already big challenge) their two worlds. In the book Wendy touches on different issues that are all part of a multicultural relationship, for example religion, language, location, food, and children. There is even a separate chapter on the topic of meeting the parents, this event often includes lots of traveling. Wendy has interviewed many multicultural couples and has included many examples and funny illustrations of things these couples differ in. I like all the examples because it makes it easy to relate to the different topics.

The children of GloLo parents are called GloLo children. They could actually be called Cross Cultural Kids, that’s the term introduced by Ruth van Reken.

In the book there are several Top 10 lists, like the Top 10 GloLo celebrity couples (glad to see that our Dutch Prince Willem-Alexander and our Argentinean Princess Maxima are included in the list). There are also Top 10 clues that you have GloLo children.

I can imagine that this book would be really good for couples that are extremely in love (living in the “love bubble”) as well as not so in love and struggling with multicultural issues in their relationship. The book is down to earth and helps you get an idea of what the consequences are of starting a GloLo adventure together. The book gives you “food for thought” while you enjoy reading it. Even parents and other family members of couples in a multicultural relationship should read the book because it will help them to understand the challenges faced.

You know love is in the air and it is all around the globe, so it’s good that there are books like this one.

“There is a world of multicultural romance happening out there and it is all captured in The Globilisation of Love.”

www.globalisationoflove.com

Related posts:

Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Verzameling van mijn beste blog berichten over kinderen die opgroeien in andere culturen

In juni 2011 ben ik begonnen met deze blog "DrieCulturen". Het bericht Welkom op deze blog geschreven op 12 juni was mijn eerste blog bericht. Inmiddels heb ik al meer dan 100 blog berichten geschreven, zijn er al meer dan 10 duizend pageviews, en hebben mensen uit meer dan 50 landen van de wereld deze blog bezocht. Ik moet eerlijk zeggen dat ik echt blij verrast ben. Dit had ik van te voren niet verwacht. Wat leuk!

Nederland op een koude winterse dag
Ik ben hier begonnen in het Nederlands maar gaande weg schrijf ik nu meestal in het Engels. Het bereik is groter in het Engels maar ik vind het ook leuk om toch regelmatig in het Nederlands te schrijven. Ik wil graag een overzicht maken van mijn beste Nederlandse blog berichten. Hier komen ze dan.
  1. Waar kom je vandaan?
  2. Aga Magnolen's Third culture kid trailer Kort filmpje is zeker de moeite waard.
  3. De voordelen van het opgroeien in het buitenland.
  4. 10 Nadelen van het opgroeien in het buitenland.
  5. Ontdekken dat je een third culture kid bent
  6. Tweetalige opvoeding
  7. AOW en kinderen in het buitenland
  8. Nieuw boek "The Global Nomad's Guide to University Transition" by Tina Quick
  9. 5 Tips voor jongeren die vanuit het buitenland naar hun thuisland gaan om te studeren.
  10. Wat missen Nederlanders in het buitenland?
Er is een bericht die ik zelf erg leuk vond om te schrijven en dat is: Spiegeltje Rondreis met opa en oma met kleinkinderen in Verwegistan. Op de één of andere manier komen mensen regelmatig via google hier als hun zoekwoorden "Spiegeltje Rondreis" zijn. Ook het mooie blog bericht over Tropisch bloemen en verhaaltjes word via zoekmachines vaak gevonden. Een recent verrassend bericht gaat over alle verschillende nationaliteiten en verschillende talen die gesproken worden in Nederland: Veelkleurig Nederland.

Het is misschien leuk om te weten dat Expat On Air van Radio Nederland Wereldomroep zaterdag 21 januari 2012 over kinderen ging die in het buitenland waren opgegroeid, ook wel genoemd: third culture kids. Ik was te gast en kon iets over mijn ervaringen vertellen. Je kunt het hier naluisteren: Niet weten waar je thuis hoort? je bent wellicht een TCK!

Mocht je nog tips hebben over goede websites of andere tips die betrekking hebben op kinderen die oproeien in andere culturen dan hoor ik het graag. Ik zou graag meer reacties willen ontvangen om te weten of je hier nuttige informatie hebt gevonden. Alvast bedankt!

Friday, 6 January 2012

Guest blog by An African Gypsy: A story of an Adult Third culture kid


I was born in ex-Yugoslavia in the 1960’s. My divorced mother met a Sudanese student of Agriculture when I was five. Later, they got married and we moved: first to Iraq then Libya and traveled extensively by car through Turkey, Greece, and Egypt.

When I was twelve we settled in Khartoum, Sudan where I attended a Catholic school for girls and lived on a farm by the Nile. Sudan was a melting pot comprised of Coptics, Syrians, Greeks, Egyptians, Lebanese, numerous Sudanese tribes as well as the expat community. An entire generation of multiethnic and multifaith children.

There was something exhilarating and never monotonous about having all these customs, cultures and beliefs blend in one place, constantly something new to learn. Bewitched by the music, folklore and language of each country I have visited or lived in, I still love applying the intricate patterns of Henna and wearing the colourful Tobe. (A garment indigenous to Sudan that is draped around the body and worn loosely over the head) My favorite facet of such a lifestyle was accepting everyone equally. Colour, race or faith made no difference to me. Most people I grew up with were mixed race including my siblings who are also Muslim.

On the farm in Sudan
Even though I loved Africa I missed my grandparents, my father and my hometown. Also, I didn’t fit into any of the existing *categories* in the Sudan. I was not half Sudanese as many of my friends were and I was not an expat child whose parents worked for embassies and foreign companies. I grew up immersed in a Sudanese household, with a Sudanese stepfamily and half African siblings but my outer appearance didn’t fit my colloquial Arabic dialect or my unconsciously native mannerisms. Little children would run after me on the street giggling and shouting, “Halabiya” (Gypsy) due to my fair skin. (In Sudan, people from a gypsy origin are lighter skinned) Or they called me “Khawagiya”. Foreigner. It didn’t feel good.

As I get older, my birthplace, my hometown of Osijek by the Drava River tugs at my heart more urgently. I get emotional over Balkan songs and jokes. I miss the aroma of local bread, the delicate peaches, and chestnuts in the winter...the fields of sunflowers. On the other hand, the magnificent Nile, the scent of mangoes and jasmine and the rhythm of African drums call me just as powerfully.

Nowadays, I live in Dubai, interacting with people from 198 nationalities. Listening to the soothing echoes from a host of languages intrigues me in countless ways. Here, I blend in.

This interest in multiculture has led me to pen stories about individuals who are displaced, then thrown together in a culturally alien setting and how that changes them. My novel ‘Dubai Wives’ follows the lives of eight women from ethnically, culturally and religiously diverse backgrounds and their transformative journey in the glamorous metropolis of Dubai, a place as intricate and complex as the woven threads of a beautiful carpet.

Through all my writing and inner self searching I have realized that I will probably never be completely content in any one place, cursed and blessed by the countless forces that  have shaped me.

Good sites for third culture kids: http://www.tckworld.com/ and the Global Nomads Group

                                         ******************************************** 

Thank you Zvezdana Rashkovich for your guest blog! It's my honour. Zvezdana is author of the novel Dubai Wives. On her website www.zvezdanarashkovich.com you can find more information. We met on twitter @SleeplessinDubai in 2011. We have in common that we both grew up in Africa and are both (adult) third culture kids.