Providing children with tools to tell their stories

My inspiration today is an amazing post by Eric Spreng, an international school teacher at the International School of Ouagadougou (the capital of Burkina Faso). I wish there were more international school teachers like him. I wish I had teachers like him when I grew up in Africa.

He teaches to promote student voice, he provides the students with tools they need to articulate themselves and their stories, especially when these stories challenge the dominate narratives that would marginalize them. I think this is what all children need but especiallt third culture kids. They need tools to articulate themselves. They need tools to be able to tell their story in what ever environment or situation they are.

Recently I came across this quote and I believe it is so true.

"All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them" these are words by Karen Blixen, the author of the book "Out of Africa".

Third culture kids grow up often moving from country to country with their parents. It can be very exciting and adventerous but the other side of the coin is that they often have to depart and leave friends and familiar places. They often have to say goodbyes. These moments can be painful and sad. If they are equipped with tools to tell their stories it could be great help for them in life. It will make them more resilient and more able to thrive in this global world.

Not only teachers can teach kids the importance of their stories, but we as parents can teach our

Photo by DrieCulturen, taken at Schiphol

children too. Decades of research has shown that most happy families communicate effectively. It means that as a family you tell a positive story about yourselves. If you want a happier family, create, refine and retell the story of your family's positive moments and your ability to bounce back from difficult ones. Read more on this topic in the article The Stories that Bind Us.

So back to Eric Spreng's post. He says: "From the beginning of the year, I make it clear that student voice is one of our great resources, that students' diverse experiences and cultures are assests to us as a community of learners. He gives examples of students that develop their own voice, do read his post called "Why I teach: Voice, Discourse and Empathy."

Related Posts

• Will therapy be a place third culture kids find their voice?
• Where I'm from...
• Are you raising messed up kids?
• The downside of growing up as a third culture kid 

The Winner is...Someone who is Raising Third Culture Kids!

Last but not least! MaDonna who writes the blog Raising TCKs has won the giveaway, a signed copy of the book Expat Life Slice by Slice to celebrate my blog's second anniversary. She was the last person to post a comment on the great interview with the Telegraph blogger and author of the book Apple Gidley. Apple grew up abroad and has kept moving since. If you missed the interview do check it out because it is worth reading. I enjoyed it and did you know Apple even lived in Emmen, the Netherlands for some time?

I like her closing words: "I think amidst all the chaos of packing and adjustments, particularly at this time of year when people are on the move again, it’s important to remember the chaos will dissipate, the groans of reluctant children will lessen and we will find a friend with whom to share coffee or wine."  

Let's take those words to heart especially during a time of change. Even during a storm, a time will come when the storm has passed and all is at rest again. Peace has returned.

There is a favourite little verse of mine. I learned it in Africa and it has stayed with me since. It's comforting:

A cup of coffee in Gent, Belgium recently @DrieCulturen

Life is a mixture of sunshine and rain
teardrops and laughter
pleasure and pain
We can't have all bright days,
but is is certainly true:
There was never a cloud the sun did not shine through!

I want to congratulate MaDonna on winning the book. I hope she finds some time to a read and enjoy the book. MaDonna lives in Asia, she calls her family a fusion family. One of her TCKs is a special needs child and with lots of wisdom MaDonna writes about her experiences. Like the post on An Expat Special Needs TCK Parent. Her most recent post is: Expat Special Needs Parent: Marriage Homework. 
She's on twitter too @mdmaurer.

By the way how do you survive a storm in your life? Any tips?

Interesting Links:

• Sharing a secret on raising resilient kids
• Third Culture Kid series: Painting Pictures (Djiboutijones)
• Interview with Heidi Dans-Hart author of Home Keeps Moving
• Make Sure to Say Good-Bye (RaisingTCKs) 

Easter twitter update all about kids growing up in other cultures

My last twitter update was in March 2012 so it's time to keep you posted with some nice new links. I always hope that you find new interesting information here on this blog and that it motivates you to return again some time soon. If you follow me on twitter @DrieCulturen you will get the news faster of course. By the way it's colder here in the Netherlands than it was at Christmas last year. There was snow at Easter, so now I am dreaming of the warm sun in Indonesia.

Sharing 10 great links with you:

1. 10 Things Expats Raising Children in England should know by Bonnie Rose, who is an expat living in England, she grew up a third culture kid living on military bases.
2. New: third culture kids Linda and Cassandra tell about what it's like to grow up in Jakarta, Indonesia

   

   Dreaming of Indonesia and the warm sun

   “Lucky!”... http://bit.ly/XR1Tf7 "It is difficult being a third culture kid but we would not trade the life we have lived, as it is unique." 
3. 15 Things I want to tell my Third Culture Kids by Rachel Pieh Jones. A post written by an expat mum raising her kids abroad. This post has been shared many times on twitter since it was posted. It's worth reading.
4. Insightful article in the Copenhagen Post today about "Growing up half-Danish: A tale of Two Cultures" http://bit.ly/XmNETz 
5. Gr8 challenge by @expatyouth for expat kids betw13-18 yrs Make a video: How you will make a better world... http://t.co/ZHE2bhDHmv
6. Inspiring! Write your way to a happier & healthier you by @RawiaLiverpool http://t.co/JHQPXArX0Y Good idea for expats and TCKs
7. So true "when ripe you can smell it from a distance....guavas!" http://t.co/MM5i7bhBU9 Brings back memories of growing up in Africa
8. Where are you from? Third Culture Kids delve into complex answers at Clark University conference.. http://tinyurl.com/c3sboxp 
9. Knowing yr family narrative shown to be gr8 predictor of resilience. Super advice 4 our expat kids! http://tinyurl.com/d2jrqd3
10. Linda @in_expatland Attended Families in Global Transition conference & came away INSPIRED http://wp.me/p1iIk2-n3  Top 10 Reasons Why FIGT Rocked

Do you have any interesting links to share? Please add them. Just in case you did not read the guest blog by Casey then you should just read "An Ode to the Third Culture Kids". 

Photo by Janneke @DrieCulturen

Top Countries for Raising Children Abroad in 2012

The Expat Explorer 2012 survey results are out. This year 5399 expats were questioned from 97 countries of the world. You can download the full report here.

To discover which country is the best to raise your child in the survey looked at these 3 main factors:

1. Childcare (safety of children, standard of education, quality of childcare and overall cost of raising children)
2. Health and wellbeing (spending time outdoors, spending time with parents, playing sports, playing video games, watching TV, children eat less junk food now)
3. Integration (settled in quicker than parents, enjoying their lives, are learning new languages, missing home and friends, social integration)

Scores from each factor are weighted to arrive at an overall Raising Children Abroad score and overall rank. The weighting applied is as follows: childcare - 33,3%, Health & wellbeing - 33,3% and Integration 33,3%.

Now here are the top countries for raising children abroad according to this survey: 

1. Canada
2. The Netherlands
3. Hong Kong
4. Australia
5. United Arab Emirates
6. USA
7. Saudia Arabia
8. United Kingdom
9. Kuwait

Apparently Hong Kong is the safest place to raise a child. 91% Of the expat parents in Hong Kong said that the safety of their children had improved after relocation.

Australia and Canada are on the top of the list for active expat families. Not only were the children more active in sports in these 2 countries but even some of the parents became more active in sports.

The Middle East provides a more challenging climate for expat families. Social integration is one of the areas were expat parents reported that their children had most difficulty. The expat children in the Middle East spent more time watching TV and playing video games. 

If you want to compare the results with last years outcome, check my post on The Top 10 Countries for Raising Children Abroad in 2011. Of course I am proud that the Netherlands is still at the top of the list on second place. I am a little surprised that France was in first place last year but that it does not feature in the top 9 countries this year. I wonder why.

What are your experiences with raising kids abroad? Do they match the results of this survey? Do you have tips for other parents? Please share it with us. Thanks.

Related Posts:

• My 10 advantages of growing up in another culture 
• My 10 disadvantages of growing up in another culture
• Cultural identity confusion and third culture kids
• Third culture kid speaking "I'm not from anywhere"
• Best country for kids: Canada Huffington Post
• Canada the best country to raise your kids: on She Knows website

Guest Third Culture Kid poem by Marina Sofia "Who am I?"

Thank you Marina Sofia for letting me share your poem "Who am I?" on this blog. The words touched my heart. I am so glad that there are people like Marina writing stories and poems about the feelings and challenges of third culture kids. You can follow Marina on twitter too @MarinaSofia8. Now it's over to Marina:

                                                                              *******************************************

"Who am I?" (The Third Culture Kid)

Or even fourth or fifth culture kid…  This is the internationally accepted term for children who have spent a significant portion of their formative years in cultures different from their own, or their parents.  I didn’t know I was one while I was growing up – now I am raising a couple of my own.  Personally, I much prefer the term ‘global nomad’ – has more of a glamorous ring to it, doesn’t it? But what I do have is that feeling of fragmentation: I do not have a solid, whole concrete façade, but  am made up of so many different little pebbles of influence. 

I used to think moving on is a blessing,
the moved upon powerless and grieving.
Head down, I’d prepare for exit and re-entry, again, and again,
glad to be the one gathering no moss.
But ultimately revenge is theirs:
for they sprout roots, link up, grow together, form tissue
richly alive with many shared hours and insights and tales.
All the shortcuts roll glib off their tongues,
always creating and leading their own trend,
while the mover is running to catch up, to fuddle,
stuck in the language of past generations,
never quite getting the nuance, the slang.
See that flying line of geese?  There’s one just off,
destroying the symmetry of their formation.
I fear I am something of a disappointment:
not enough of a glamour-bird when you want to preen with me,
yet not sufficiently aligned and meek.
My ducks in a row askew,
so easy to shoot at, and never enough time
to grieve.
I’ve learnt to hide my real thoughts
my own thoughts
my solitude.
I’ve learnt a short answer to the question:
‘Where are you from?’, tinged with just enough humour
and self-deprecation to disarm and charm.
Who am I?
I am all that is half-forgotten,
half-mourned, half-understood.
I am all the places in which I’ve left my heart.
I am all that is buried deep inside and want to excavate no more.
I am all that I dare not show you
for fear that you will drown.

Related posts:

• Third Culture Kids and Cultural Identity Confusion
• Third Culture Kids Learning to be themselves
• Interview with Heidi Sand-Hart author of the book "home Keeps Moving"
• Nina Sichel on understanding TCKs on Children's Mental Health Network website

Image thanks to Karpati Morgue file