Third Culture Kids do you Dare to be Green?

In an earlier post Third Culture Kids Learning to be Themselves I had written about this poem but I had not posted the complete poem. I can really identify with the words so I did want to post the whole poem. My parents are from the blue country: the Netherlands and I grew up in the Yellow country. Well the yellow country for me would be the African culture or continent. The countries I lived in were: Zambia, Malawi and Zimbabwe. If you enjoy this poem and want to read more, read the poem "Who am I?" by my guest Marina Sofia, who was a third culture kid too.

By a 4 year old @DrieCulturen

Colors
by Whitni Thomas, MK

I grew up in a Yellow country
But my parents are Blue.
I'm Blue.
Or at least, that is what they told me.
But I play with the Yellows.
I went to school with the Yellows.
I spoke the Yellow language.
I even dressed and appeared to be Yellow.
Then I moved to the Blue land.
Now I go to school with the Blues.
I speak the Blue language.
I even dress and look Blue.
But deep down, inside me, something's Yellow.
I love the Blue country.
But my ways are tinted with Yellow.
When I am in the Blue land,
I want to be Yellow.
When I am in the Yellow land,
I want to be Blue.
Why can't I be both?
A place where I can be me.
A place where I can be green.
I just want to be green.

What about you. Do you dare to be Green? Do you enjoy being Green? Have you accepted that you are Green?

Related posts:

• A Third Culture Kid Speaking: "I'm not from Anywhere" 
• Counselors: Be curious about their upbringing....Third Culture Kids
• Book review of the book "Expat Teens Talk"
• I am all the places in which I've left my heart

A third culture kid speaking "I'm not from anywhere"

"Where are you from?" is a difficult question for third culture kids (or expat kids). Often there is no simple answer. Just like Victoria explains on this video. She actually often answers "I'm not from anywhere". When you hear her story you will understand why she says that. For those who do not have time to watch I will let you in on her secret. The background of her family is Ukrainian but she was born in Richmond, Virginia, she lived in Russia, Italy, Syria, Germany, China and then back yo the USA. (Excuse some of the language in the video). I have included this video because Victoria explains what is was like to return to the USA. She discovered that she felt so embarrassed because she did not know how to say "the pledge of Allegiance" , she could not name all the American presidents, she had not had American history but I am sure she knew lots of other things. Victoria was teased for not knowing the names of all the presidents, imagine that. People asked her the dumbest questions: like did you ride camels wherever you went in Syria?

Moving was a constant factor in her life. There was always only a short time to make friends before she would loose them again because they would move on. She really wonders how people can live in one place all their lives, is it not boring? Victoria is looking for an international job because that's what she is comfortable with, that is what she knows. She says the best way to discover a culture is to eat the food. She ends by saying that she has to go and do something, learn a language or make a move.

Just like Victoria, I found it hard to answer the question: where are you from? I remember being embarrassed because there were things here in the Netherlands that I did not know about. To this day I am still not very good in Dutch geography, knowing where place are. I can tell you lots about places in Zimbabwe, would that do? I recently discovered that there is an online mentoring program for expat youths called Sea Change Mentoring. They aim to prepare young people returning to their "home country" to minimize reverse culture shock and to maximize the benefits of having lived abroad. That sounds really good, I wish there had been something like this when I moved from Bulawayo, Zimbabwe to university in the Netherlands. That was a real shock, I wrote about it earlier: The most difficult transition for third culture kids.

What was your experience like? Did you have embarrassing moments? Did you have a reverse culture shock? Do you have advice for kids returning to their "home" country? Do you know where you're from?

Related posts:

• My 10 disadvantages of growing up abroad
• Neither here nor there...where do I belong?
• Third culture kids and cultural identity confusion
• Third culture kids learning to be themselves
• How to relate to non-TCKs by Ruth van Reken at TCK Academy

My heritage of growing up overseas: Close encouters of a tropical kind

I actually have a very funny memory of a watermelon. I must have been about 13 years old. We had travelled all day from Beitbridge in the South of Matabeleland, Zimbabwe to our home at that time in Bulawayo. These were bumpy roads and we had bought a juicy, big, ripe watermelon along the way. We had probably bought it for a good price. It was a warm day and the idea of a succulent, juicy watermelon must have been very appealing at the time. Why we did not dig into it straight away remains an unanswered question in my mind.

Image by Fedegrafo Morgue File

When I talk about we, I mean my parents, my brothers and my little sister of 5 years old. We had travelled that day in a land cruiser owned by the NGO (non-governmental organisation) that my father worked for at the time. This land cruiser had taken us along nice, well maintained, tarmac roads but also along bumpy, unpredictable bush roads. Now the watermelon had made this journey along with us too.

On arrival at home all the kids had to join in carrying the luggage into the house, making sure the land cruiser was emptied of all our belongings and returned into its original state. Not sure if that was possible, but anyway. Seeing as we had been away for more than a week there was always a pile of letters awaiting our homecoming. These were put on the kitchen table together with our precious watermelon. Tired from the journey we left our friend the watermelon and the mail on the table for the night.

We were rudely awakened that night. There was the sound of a serious explosion. The stillness of the African night was abruptly interrupted by an enormous amount of noise. The noise was from an unknown source, it was unexpected, unpredicted, and maybe unwelcome. It ended in some kind of “splat!”

Arriving at the scene of the crime, we saw the devastation, we saw the mess. From the ceiling to the floor the ruins were visible. The mail was ruined, sploshed, sticky and gooey. The chairs, the walls, everything was marked by this extreme explosion: the UFO, unidentified flying object. After wiping the sleep out of our eyes, we recognized the remains of our juicy watermelon, glued all over the kitchen. Seeds and juice were everywhere. That what should have brought us pure joy, life, juice, excitement, ecstasy and refreshment, had now become another task, chore, a dirty sticky mess, a disappointment, a disgust and lots of sweat.

So that was the end of our fermented and well-travelled watermelon.

Have you had funny experiences abroad? I would love to hear them.

Related posts: 

• My heritage of growing up overseas: Respect for Malaria 
• My heritage of growing up overseas: a heart for the children of the world 
• The downside of growing up overseas as a third culture kid
• Third culture kids: learning their mother tongue

Twitter update week 16: children growing up in other cultures

Thank you all for visiting my blog. I am really excited that many people find the way to this blog and I hope you find what you are looking for. It's time for a twitter update. I will share recent interesting twitter links with you. I also want to let you know that I wrote a guest blog this week at The Migrating Yankee. The post is called "Clogs with a story to tell", do hop over and have a read. I met Tiffany from The Migrating Yankee at a writing workshop and she was the first person who asked me to write a guest blog. Thank you Tiffany, it's always good to celebrate your "firsts".

A guest post about not fitting in & Third Culture Kids: http://bit.ly/JetxNZ

Dutch tulips: Spring in the air @DrieCulturen

Great post on Third Culture Kids from @marilyngard: "Chameleon, Imposter, or Third Culture Kid?" http://wp.me/p1gwBI-Bb

Found this today. For TCKs change is imminent! How you deal with it makes the difference http://bit.ly/HYNSoS

Third Culture Kids - Emotions about Moving Back Home for University http://bit.ly/INbFLP

Here's the story of someone who is proud to be a third culture kid! @DougGulleson                    http://bit.ly/IQSsDM 

Gr8 story of a third culture kid becoming an expat "My home is airport terminals, new sites & city streets" by @TweetingAuthor http://bit.ly/HUlk3g 

Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: USA http://is.gd/Js7OZa #Global_Differences

RT@JoParfitt Writers Abroad Radio show 37: Nina Sichel, co-editor of fab, research-packed TCK stuff: Writing Out of Limbo http://bit.ly/HPMqsp

Rejoice with your family: Top three things to do with your Global Nomad http://goo.gl/7UVrf
Global parenting has its drawbacks but the joy.. RT@ExpatApple Global Parenting – My Telegraph http://soc.li/4G7FTUK

The Significance of Food and the Expat Child http://vsb.li/JhkH88 via @Jsimens

Check this RT@Jsimens uploaded a @YouTube video http://youtu.be/4yY3qYzHwOA?a How to Build Emotional Resilience in Your Child

"Ik snak om meer te zien van deze wereld!" Jessica 13jr, geboren in #Australië, gewoond in Dubai en nu NL http://bit.ly/HMOD8G

If you have interesting links please share them with us. Thanks

How do transitions effect children?

Recently the The American Foreign Service Association (AFSA) had a panel discussion about third culture kids and their experiences. You can watch the film, it is nearly one and a half hours full of good information. The members of the panel all have many years of experience working with Third culture kids. One of the members of the panel is International educator and adult third culture kid (ATCK), Rebecca Oden, M.Ed,  who has been a teacher and a coordinator providing academic and emotional/social support for transitioning families and students.  Her master’s thesis and research focused on transition and its consequent effect on the identity of TCKs in the international school setting.

I want to share something with you that Rebecca Oden said at the start of the panel discussion. I share these words with you because I believe they are true. According to Rebecca here are:

4 very important variables that influence the life of a third culture kid (or internationally mobile child):

1. The developmental age of the child. There are different challenges and different issues at different ages. It's a little easier when children are younger, for example parents can arrange a play date and within moments of meeting each others toddlers can be playing together. The issues change depending on the developmental age. A child of 12 years old will not be charmed when mum arranges a play date but parents can facilitate the social interactions at that age.
2. The number of transitions a child has faced. Parents often think: well they did fine the last move so all will be well this time. There are all kinds of reasons why this time the transition is more difficult. It could be connected with the developmental age. It could be transition fatigue, tried of all the change, the multiple loss of status, starting over time and time again. The fragmented identities that need to be put together time and time again.
3. The family wellness. How is your family culture? Are you as parents doing well? Is this transition more difficult for one of the parents too?
4. School choice.  Is it a school that is knowledgeable about these kind of issues? Does it have a program to address these issues?

I can not really remember how I experienced each transition in my youth. In Malawi I went to international schools but in Zimbabwe I attended good local schools. I have good memories at all of these schools. An international school is not automatically the best choice. What's your experience? Do you identify with these 4 variables?

 Related posts:

• Third culture kids going to university 
• The downside of growing up overseas as a third culture kid
• Neither here nor there...where do I belong?
• Children of the world: where are your roots?

Derdecultuurkinderen of terwijl third culture kids: het onderwerp is "hot"

Hebben jullie de Volkskrant Magazine gelezen van het afgelopen weekend? Er staat een artikel in over "Het expateffect". Verhuis kinderen van expats terug naar hun eigen land en de verwarring slaat toe. Wat mij betreft is het super herkenbaar. Ik ben vanuit Afrika naar Nederland gekomen om hier aan de universiteit te studeren. Lees mijn verhaal hier.

Het valt mij op dat er de laatste tijd vaker artikelen over derdecultuurkinderen (third culture kids) in de krant of tijdschriften staan. Het is natuurlijk ook zo dat als je ergens oplet je het ook sneller ziet, misschien was het er eerder ook maar nu valt het mij opeens op. Zo stond er op zaterdag 11 februari 2012 een artikel met de titel "Altijd Onrust" in het tijdschrift van het Financieel Dagblad. Expatkinderen van toen vertellen over de onrust die hen als volwassene nog altijd drijft. Ook dit is wat mij betreft herkenbaar.

In november 2011 stond er een drieluik in het blad Internationale Samenwerking: drie voormalig expatkinderen vertellen over opgroeien buiten Nederland. "Ik herken het ontheemde gevoel".

In het radioprogramma Expat on Air van Radio Nederland Wereldomroep ben ik in januari 2012 te gast geweest. Luister hier naar mijn ervaringen over het opgroeien in het buitenland en "terugkeren" naar Nederland.Eind januari 2012 ben ik te gast geweest bij DeGids.fm bij Felix Meurders. Het interview is hier te beluisteren. 

Vandaag kwam ik het verhaal tegen van schrijfster Marlies Slegers "Hoe overleef je een jeugdtrauma?" Zij woonde als kind in Indonesië en tijdens een vakantie in Nederland hoorde ze dat ze niet meer terug zou gaan naar haar school en vrienden in Indonesië. Het gevolg was heimwee en het duurde jaren voordat ze het een plekje kon geven.

In mei is er een uitvoering door Margo van de Linde in Amsterdam en Rotterdam. De uitvoering heet "Third Culture Kid". Margo is een derdecultuurkind (een TCK). Zij heeft in America, Engeland, Spanje en Canada gewoond.

Nou volgens mij is het onderwerp gewoon "hot", ik zie het overal om mij heen. De woorden die mij vooral opvallen zijn verwarring, ontheemd, onrust, heimwee. Wat zal ik er nog meer over zeggen? Wat voor woorden associeer jij met derdecultuurkinderen? Hoe was het voor jou?

Meer lezen?

• Voorbeelden van derdecultuurkinderen
• 10 nadelen van het opgroeien in andere culturen
• Nieuwe dingen doen
• Mijn beste Nederlandstalige blog berichten

Ice skating fever and third culture kids

We nearly had an Elfstedentocht this weekend! It is also called the Eleven cities tour on ice skates. There was excitement in the air and in the Dutch media as due to the cold winter weather there was a possibility that the race would take place. Our hopes were high. Even the Huffington post made mention of the possibility of the Elfstedentocht. I discovered that Tommy wrote on his blog Micro Adventures all about the Elfstedentocht in English. Nearly everyone was talking about the race and the newspapers were full of articles all about it: there is ice skating fever in the air.

You need to skate nearly 200 kilometres in one day to gain the "Elfstedenkruisje", this small medal shown on the photo. The race takes place in Friesland, in the north of the Netherlands and that is where my father comes from. I can proudly say that my grandfather and an uncle of mine have in the past completed this race and have the medal.

It is 15 years ago that the ice was thick enough for the race to take place. So our hopes were high but we were disappointed as the officials declared that the ice was still too thin. Aledys Ver writes about it on her blog. Now we need a way to handle our disappointment. Thousands of Dutch people put on there ice skates today and skated on one of the many channels or rivers, just like I did.

Photo taken 11.02.12 by Janneke @DrieCulturen the Netherlands

Young and old were on the ice. I saw young kids courageously attempting to master the art of ice skating. Falling and being helped up by their parents. These kids were three or four years old. It reminds me of my first time on ice skates. I was twelve or thirteen years old at the time. Way older than all the other Dutch kids who were great ice skaters while I was just starting my learning process. That's what happens when you are a third culture kid and you grow up on the warm African continent.

We did come on leave to the Netherlands every two or three years but we usually came back on leave in the summer. It was more practical to come back to the Netherlands in the summertime because we did not have any winter clothes. 

One thing I am glad about is that I did learn to ice skate. I did not give up, I did not give in. Sometimes our learning process is different as third culture kids but we get there in the end and that's what counts! Life is all about learning so just as those kids on the ice fell down and got up again let's do the same. After failing and falling, just get up, dust off the cold snow or ice and try again.

Photo taken 8.02.12 near Amsterdam by Janneke @DrieCulturen

Were there things you learned at another age than kids around you because you were a third culture kid? Maybe you are raising third culture kids, do they have a different learning process than other kids?

Related posts:

• Third culture kids learning to be themselves
• Third culture kids learning their mother tongue
• Confession about the term "Third Culture Kids"
• Third culture kids and identity confusion
• Libby Stephens explains what third culture kids are

Re-entry into your passport culture

I just listened to an online program by MemberCareRadio and I was impressed. I discovered that there is lots to listen to about the process of re-entry. I listened to Marion Knell being interviewed on the subject of third culture kids and re-entry into their passport culture. Marion is author of the book "Families on the Move - growing up overseas and loving it". More recently she wrote the book "Burn up or Splash down: Surviving the Culture Shock of Re-entry". What I heard makes me want to buy both books.

You probably know that I was a third culture kid entering into the Netherlands after having been born and bred in Africa. You can read more of my story here. I actually only just survived the culture shock at the time. It certainly was an emotional roller coaster, but the worst part of it all was that I did not know what was wrong with me. Apparently it helps to have access to some information before returning to your passport culture. This can be through a debriefing, from books or by talking to people who have gone that path before. Looking back I had none of these. No debriefing, no books on the subject and nobody I knew who had gone the path before me. Sometimes we third culture kids wander down lonely roads.

Marion Knell gives third culture kids 4 tips to process their emotions when re-entering (or entering your passport culture). The 4 "P"s:

1. Permission to express your feelings
2. Permission to feel pain
3. Pathways to say goodbye, saying good "goodbyes"
4. People to share your experiences with, people who are interested in your stories.

I remember that I had one friend during my university days who was really interested in hearing my stories. She asked many questions. Where did you live? What kind of house did you live in? What was your school like? What did you do in your free time? We spent hours talking while we went cycling, walking on the beach or just while drinking a cup of tea at home. During our conversations we traveled the globe. We walked down memory lane. It was heart warming.

I hope you meet people interested in your stories. Remember not everyone is interested in your stories, but that does not matter. Just don't give up telling them but find somebody who wants to listen. Joining an international students society can help because there the chances are greater that you meet others whom you can relate to and who have stories like yours. Do you have any suggestions that can help third culture kids when returning to their passport culture? Please share them.

Related posts:

• Reverse Culture Shock and third culture kids  
• Third culture kids going to university 
• Children of the world, where are your roots?
• Teenagers: the sky is the limit?

Verzameling van mijn beste blog berichten over kinderen die opgroeien in andere culturen

In juni 2011 ben ik begonnen met deze blog "DrieCulturen". Het bericht Welkom op deze blog geschreven op 12 juni was mijn eerste blog bericht. Inmiddels heb ik al meer dan 100 blog berichten geschreven, zijn er al meer dan 10 duizend pageviews, en hebben mensen uit meer dan 50 landen van de wereld deze blog bezocht. Ik moet eerlijk zeggen dat ik echt blij verrast ben. Dit had ik van te voren niet verwacht. Wat leuk!

Nederland op een koude winterse dag

Ik ben hier begonnen in het Nederlands maar gaande weg schrijf ik nu meestal in het Engels. Het bereik is groter in het Engels maar ik vind het ook leuk om toch regelmatig in het Nederlands te schrijven. Ik wil graag een overzicht maken van mijn beste Nederlandse blog berichten. Hier komen ze dan.

1. Waar kom je vandaan?
2. Aga Magnolen's Third culture kid trailer Kort filmpje is zeker de moeite waard.
3. De voordelen van het opgroeien in het buitenland.
4. 10 Nadelen van het opgroeien in het buitenland.
5. Ontdekken dat je een third culture kid bent
6. Tweetalige opvoeding
7. AOW en kinderen in het buitenland
8. Nieuw boek "The Global Nomad's Guide to University Transition" by Tina Quick
9. 5 Tips voor jongeren die vanuit het buitenland naar hun thuisland gaan om te studeren.
10. Wat missen Nederlanders in het buitenland?

Er is een bericht die ik zelf erg leuk vond om te schrijven en dat is: Spiegeltje Rondreis met opa en oma met kleinkinderen in Verwegistan. Op de één of andere manier komen mensen regelmatig via google hier als hun zoekwoorden "Spiegeltje Rondreis" zijn. Ook het mooie blog bericht over Tropisch bloemen en verhaaltjes word via zoekmachines vaak gevonden. Een recent verrassend bericht gaat over alle verschillende nationaliteiten en verschillende talen die gesproken worden in Nederland: Veelkleurig Nederland.

Het is misschien leuk om te weten dat Expat On Air van Radio Nederland Wereldomroep zaterdag 21 januari 2012 over kinderen ging die in het buitenland waren opgegroeid, ook wel genoemd: third culture kids. Ik was te gast en kon iets over mijn ervaringen vertellen. Je kunt het hier naluisteren: Niet weten waar je thuis hoort? je bent wellicht een TCK!

Mocht je nog tips hebben over goede websites of andere tips die betrekking hebben op kinderen die oproeien in andere culturen dan hoor ik het graag. Ik zou graag meer reacties willen ontvangen om te weten of je hier nuttige informatie hebt gevonden. Alvast bedankt!

Language Links for Parents Raising Multilingual Children

At the moment the blog post Bilingualism and growing up abroad is the blog post with the most comments on this blog. On twitter I also realised that I regularly retweet tweets about third culture kids learning new languages. I am really glad and thankful that my parents raised me bilingually. We spoke Dutch at home and English at school. For those who do not know, I grew up in Africa. I would like to encourage parents who are considering raising their kids multilingual: please do it and please stick to it. Your offspring will thank you some time in the future. Maybe it is not the easy road to take but it is worth it. I read this quote recently and it just stuck with me. I love it.

"One of the best presents a parent can give is the gift of a language" http://bit.ly/nD6iFM

I want to share the links of some of the posts I read. I hope you find something juicy, spicy and just what you need.

Top 10 Resolutions to Help Your Children Learn a 2nd Language http://bit.ly/vDw7PI 

Excellent post from Prof. Genesee about bilingual children: http://owl.li/8ivog

"One of the best presents a parent can make is the gift of a language" http://bit.ly/nD6iFM

Talking about bilingualism http://bit.ly/AkyDH5 Including a tip for a good book: A Parents' & Teachers' Guide to Biligualism.

Wow! Patricia Kuhl: The Linguistic Genius of babies http://bit.ly/eI5dzc Exposing American babies to Mandarin. What happens?

Gestures can ease language learning http://bit.ly/y4RTdt

Research shows fewer reading errors with Dyslexie, a new font by Dutch graphic designer, and dyslectic, Christian Boer  http://bit.ly/ihH5iv

7 Habits that will help your child become bilingual http://bit.ly/pXptTS

12 Common Myths and Misconceptions about Bilingual Children: http://owl.li/7OBER

Read & listen to a mum teaching her kids Indonesian. She's raising them trilingual http://bit.ly/seFkFJ

Immigration and Language: http://owl.li/7TLgV

Zie hier vragen & antwoorden over meertalig opvoeden bij @OudersOnline http://bit.ly/rZcLko  

Tweetalig opvoeden, het moment is aangebroken. Ik hoop dat het lukt! http://bit.ly/vbE5lp 

Please add any advice, tips, links or words of encouragement in the comment section. I really appreciate that. Questions are welcome too.

Related posts

• Third culture kids learning their mother tongue
• Great third culture kid information on the web
• Libby Stephen's explains what third culture kids are
• My 10 advantages of growing up in another culture
• Boek "Make your Child Multilingual" door Silke Rehman

Image thanks to Manuere, Morgue File.

Ever heard of carbide shooting? This third culture kid did it in Malawi

Traditionally carbide shooting is done on new year's day or new year's eve. So last Saturday I went to our family farm in Friesland (the north of the Netherlands) where my uncles just have to shoot carbide.

What you need:

1. A milkcan with a lid that fits on to it (the milkcan has to have a small whole in it).
2. A piece of carbide stone (white, see photo)
3. Some water
4. Some fire, to light the explosive gas
5. Some patience
6. Some protection for your ears, because there is a loud bang when the explosive gas comes in contact with fire.

I actually found a website that explains about carbide schooting: a Dutch favourite sport. On the internet I read that carbide shooting is still popular these days in the Netherlands.

When the explosive gas explodes after coming in contact with fire the lid of the milkcan flies about 20 to 30 meters. You have to take care that there is nobody standing in front of the milkcan at the time of ignition. Why do we do it? It's a tradition. Why do we have traditions? By the way in the second world war the carbide stone was used in the carbidelamp a lamp used on bicycles.

When I grew up in Malawi we celebrated new year with carbide shooting too. I have no idea how my father got hold of the carbide stone and maybe it is better that I do not know. I hope he did not take it on the plan, because I can imagine that that would be rather dangerous. In Malawi we did not have a milkcan bit we took a small tin can with a fitting lid, a small whole in it. We added a little water to the carbide stone in the can, put the lid on, added some fire and we made a small bang. So we had no fireworks but just a little carbide shooting. There is no new year's eve without oliebollen (here are soms photos of oliebollen). Would you call it an oil dumpling in English? It is a kind of Dutch doughnut. In Malawi my parents and our Dutch friends always baked a large pile of oliebollen. These are all part of my memories of celebrating new year's eve.

What are your memories of new year's eve celebrations? Do you have special traditions? Have you ever heard or seen carbide shooting? By the way: Happy new year to you!

Related posts:

• Celebrating Christmas around the world 
• Celebrating Sinterklaas abroad
• My 10 advantages of growing up abroad
• Bilingualism and growing up abroad

Christmas around the world.

Sorry to say I don't have much inspiration today, but I do want to wish you all a happy Christmas. So I will start by doing that in several different languages. On this website you can even hear how some are pronounced. As a third culture kid I grew up multilingual and I still enjoy hearing different languages being spoken around me.

• Prettige kerstdagen en een gelukkig nieuw jaar (that's in Dutch)
• Merry Christmas and a happy new year
• Noflike Krystdagen en folle lok en seine (Frisian, the language spoken in the North of the Netherlands. It's the language my grandparents spoke). It's my "father tongue".
• Joyeaux Noël et bonne année (French, the language I learned at school)
• Feliz Natal! Feliz Ano Novo! (Portuguese, the language my parents learned when they had passed the age of 50 years and were preparing to work in Angola).
• Hyvää joulua ja onnellista uutta vuotta (Finnish, just because the words look nice).
• Glædelig jul og godt nytår (Danish, it sounds nice) .

 Here is some interesting information about Christmas around the world: 

1. Did you know that the expats in Africa are most likely to make a call home at Christmas?
2. Want to read more about what Christmas looks like for third culture kids? Read Libby Stephens' post called: Christmas TCK style.
3. Did you know that: Christmas Day is just an ordinary day for most Chinese people. Sarah Crack is a teacher in Tianjin, China tells about it on the Telegraph website.
4. Want to know how Christmas is celebrated here in the Netherlands? Read about it on The Expatica website. 
5. For Dutch kids Sinterklaas is associated with getting presents. Read all about Sinterklaas on a previous blog post of mine.  
6. Do you want to see a fresh telling of the first Christmas (done by children)? Go over to the Third Culture Kids & company website. Enjoy.

Well as a third culture kid we celebrated Christmas many times in Malawi and Zimbabwe. My memories of those times are a mixture of English carol singing, church, pot luck meals (yummy! trifles and more), new made friends, swimming, eating, making music and of course a Christmas tree. Even though there was never snow!

• What are your Christmas memories? If you can say happy Christmas in an additional language please add it in the comments. Thanks.

Video: Third culture kids and Global Nomads, their point of view!

Here is a film produced by ECIS. In the film children third culture kids are interviewed on different topics. These kids have lived in many different countries across the globe. Watch and listen to their story. First they explain in their own words what a third culture kid is.

This is list of the advantages of growing up as a third culture kid, as told by the children in the video. 

The kids say that they:

1. Are more accepting of different cultures and other people.
2. Learn more new cultures and learn new languages.
3. Can understand the world better if you live in different parts of the world.
4. Can see more of the world and not live a boring life.
5. Can move around and have experiences that most other kids don't have.
6. Get to meet new people.
7. Get to make many new friends.
8. Have an extra level of knowledge.
9. Enjoy life and do not take things for granted (they have seen poverty and seen the extremes of life).
10. Have more opportunities and can get a better education.

 

In a future blog post I will talk about the challenges the kids mention. Here's a list of My 10 disadvantages of growing up in another culture. I have written about My 10 advantages of growing up in another culture.  

If you want to know more about what children think of growing up abroad then I can recommend this interview What it's like to a third culture kid. Eleven year old Eliana explains all about being a TCK. She even has her own blog: TCKids (for Kids by a Kid).

What's your experience? What's your story? I would love to hear from you.

Just discovered a new book. Writing out of Limbo: The International Childhood Experience of Global Nomads & Third Culture Kids

I am so excited. I just discovered a new book all about third culture kids. I just can't wait to get my hands on it. I have a love for books anyway, but if the books are on subjects that I am interested about then the love is even greater. On Amazon I discovered that this book has 498 pages, so there's lots of "food for thought" there. The book has only just been published: 1st of December 2011, by Cambridge Scholars Publishing.

The new book "Writing Out of Limbo: the International Childhood Experience of Global Nomads and Third Culture kids" by Gene H. Bell-Villada and Nina Sichel with Faith Eidse and Elaine Neil Orr. For a sample of the book, including the table of contents click here.

Here's what I read about the book that made my heart beat faster:

In this groundbreaking collection, writers from around the world address issues of language acquisition and identity formation, childhood mobility and adaptation, memory and grief, and the artist’s struggle to articulate the experience of growing up global. And, woven like a thread through the entire collection, runs the individual’s search for belonging and a place called “home.” 

About the authors: Gene H. Bell-Villada, born in Haiti of US parents, was raised in Puerto Rico, Cuba and Venezuela. A professor of Romance Languages at Williams College (Massachusetts), he is the author or editor of ten books, including a TCK memoir, Overseas American: Growing Up Gringo in the Tropics (2005). Nina Sichel is co-editor, with Faith Eidse, of Unrooted Childhoods: Memoirs of Growing Up Global (2004), the first collection of memoirs by Third Culture Kids and Global Nomads. Raised among expats in Venezuela, she relocated many times as an adult, and currently leads memoir and guided writing workshops near Washington, DC. Last but not least editor Elaine Neil Orr whom I heard came up with the title of the book! (Sorry Elaine I forgot you the first time round).

This is what others say about the book:

“Well-grounded in classical perspectives and new visions of what it means to live in an intercultural world, the book offers a wonderful array of memoir, research, interviews, theory and even poetry. There’s something for everyone here!” Anne P. Copeland, PhD, Director, The Interchange Institute

“I recommend this book to all parents who are creating TCKs; to teachers and professors of TCKs; for general reading and understanding of the making of a citizen of the world; and, finally, to TCKs themselves, who will see that their experiences are shared with many others.” Linda A. Garvelink, President, Foreign Service Youth Foundation

As I read about the book I think this is a "must have" for anybody doing research on third culture kids or cross cultural kids. I am glad that there is an increasing amount of books and information available for parents, teachers, therapists, adult third culture kids and anyone interested in this subject. Thanks for publishing this book!

If anyone is interested there is an interview available (free) by Jo Parfitt with Nina Sichel co-editor of the anthology Unrooted Childhoods, about her second anthology, called Writing Out of Limbo on the Writers abroad radio show.

Related posts:

• New book: Emotional Resilience and the Expat Child by Julia Simens
• Third culture kids learning to be themselves 
• Third culture kids learning their mother tongue 
• Global Nomads on the move, part 2 
• New book: The Global Nomad's Guide to University Transition by Tina Quick

Wat missen Nederlanders in het Buitenland?

Er is pas De Grote Mis Verkiezing gehouden. Wat mis je het meest in het buitenland. Nederlanders en Vlamingen over de hele wereld konden stemmen. De televisie zender BVN hield deze Mis verkiezing. BNV staat voor het Beste van Vlaanderen en Nederland en is de publieke televisiezender voor Nederlandstaligen in het buitenland. Er waren meer dan 10 duizend reacties. Sommige missen een huis vol bloemen of gewoon naar de markt gaan om tulpen te kopen.

Foto genomen in Keukenhof Lisse

Op de website De Grote Mis Verkiezing konden mensen aangeven wat zij het meeste missen in het buitenland.  

Hier is de top 10:

1. Haring 9,1%
2. Kroket 8,6%
3. Kaas 8,1% Zijn wij dan toch echte "Kaas Koppen"?
4. Hema 8% dan zing ik meteen "Echte Hema!"
5. Familie/vrienden 6,7%
6. Fietsen 6,5% Nederkand is ook een echt fietsland. 13,5 miljoen Nederlanders (84%) heeft één of meerdere fietsen. Lees hier Fietsen in cijfers van de Fietsersbond.
7. Bakker producten 3,7%
8. Gezelligheid 2,2% (dit is een Nederlands woord dat niet goed in het Engels te vertalen is)
9. Sinterklaas 2,1% ik heb laatst ook geschreven over Sinterklaas in het buitenland vieren?
10. Beleg/slaatjes 2,1%

Hier is een kort filmpje van het jeugdjournaal er over dat heet Kroket meer gemist dan oma.
De Belgen in het buitenland missen friet het meest (16,9%)! Er zijn een aantal overeenkomsten met de Nederlanders. Wat Belgen ook missen zijn garnalen, bier, chocola, humor en de markten. Familie en vrienden komen pas op de 8ste plaats.

Tijdens mijn kinderjaren heb ik in Afrika gewoond. Ik kan vooral herinneren dat hagelslag en drop voor ons heel speciaal waren en dat bezoekers uit Nederland dit voor ons meenamen. Er was een periode dat er geen rozijnen of krenten te koop waren in Zimbabwe en ik weet nog dat mensen dit voor ons in hun koffers bij zich hadden. Het kan ook zijn dat wij zelf krenten en rozijnen uit Nederland meebrachten. Ze werden beward voor oudjaarsavond en moesten natuurlijk in de oliebollen mix. Ik weet ook nog dat mijn oma een keer bij ons op bezoek kwam in Malawi en dat zij samen met mijn moeder witte kool omtoverde tot "zuurkool"! Ja stamppotten zijn volgens mij ook typisch Hollands.

Ik heb eerder geschreven over Herinnering aan Holland.
Waar kom je vandaan?
Vliegende Hollanders
Kinderboek "Ik Heb het Niet Bedacht"
Ontdekken dat je een Third Culture Kid bent

Wat mis jij in het buitenland? Waar heb je alles voor over om het het te eten of te kunnen doen? Herken je deze top 10?

Vragen over wat third culture kids zijn en over identiteit.

Laatst kreeg ik een email van een medewerker van My Heritage blog met een aantal vragen over wat een third culture kid is. Inmiddels hebben zij een blog bericht over "Third culture kids" geplaatst. Zij hebben een leuk stukje over Jutta König geschreven. Hier heb ik ook al eens geschreven over een artikel van Jutta König.
Ik ben blij dat er steeds meer aandacht komt (ook in Nederland) voor third culture kids. Ik was wel nieuwsgierig wat My Heritage.com precies is.

Hier komt het "MyHeritage.com is gesticht door een team van mensen met een passie voor genealogie en een goede kennis van de internettechnologie. Wij willen mensen overal ter wereld helpen om de kracht van het internet te gebruiken om hun verleden te ontdekken en hun banden met familie en vrienden te versterken."

Deze vragen werden aan mij gesteld en hier zijn mijn antwoorden, ik vond het goeie vragen vandaar dat ik ze ook met jullie wil delen.

Wat is volgens u een TCK?
Een third culture kid is iemand die een deel van zijn jeugd in een andere cultuur heeft doorgebracht. Je kunt denken aan kinderen van diplomaten, militairen, zendelingen, ontwikkelingswerkers, tropenartsen, emigranten maar ook van vluchtelingen enz. Ik ben van mening dat er in toenemende mate third culture kids zullen opgroeien. Tegenwoordig kunnen wij veel makkelijker reizen en is emigreren makkelijker dan jaren geleden.

Hoe heeft u het leven in diverse landen ervaren?

Ik ben geboren in Zambia en heb tot dat ik naar de universiteit ging in Malawi en Zimbabwe gewoond. Ik heb goeie herinneringen aan mijn jeugd. Wij hadden avontuurlijk vakanties: beklommen mount Mulanje in Malawi, zwommen in het meer van Malawi, gingen op safari in een wildpark enz. Ik heb altijd Engelstalig onderwijs gehad, voornamelijk op international schools. Met enige regelmaat gingen wij op verlof naar Nederland.

Heeft u door dit leven problemen ervaren met uw identiteit?

Ja dat wel. Ik voelde mij in Afrika erg Nederlands met mijn blonde haren en blauwe ogen. Wij vierde sinterklaas thuis en spraken over Nederland als "thuis". De schok kwam toen ik als 19 jarige zelfstandig naar de universiteit ging in Nederland. Ik kwam erachter dat ik er misschien wel uitzag als een Nederlander maar ik voelde mij veel meer een "African". Inmiddels heb ik begrepen dat ze dat ook wel een "verborgen immigrant" noemen. Niemand kon aan mij zien dat ik mij helemaal niet thuis voelde in Nederland. Ik kende de grapjes niet, de TV series, de normen en waarden. Het was zo verwarrend en een hele eenzame tijd.

Op mijn blog heb ik er iets over geschreven: Waar kom je vandaan? Hier kan je ook meer lezen over terugkeer. Wat mij geholpen heeft is het lezen van het boek "Third Culture Kids, the experience of growing up among worlds" geschreven door David Pollock en Ruth van Reken. Ik kwam er achter dat er niks mis was met mij maar dat mijn verwarring alles te maken had met mijn levenservaringen en het opgroeien in andere culturen. Het was zo herkenbaar, heerlijk. Wat een verademing. Ik hoop erg dat er meer bekendheid in Nederland komt over third culture kids daarom ben ik ook mijn blog DrieCulturen begonnen. Ik denk dat de informatie in dat boek veel mensen kan helpen.

Voelt u zich Nederlander?
Ja ik voel mij Nederlander maar toen ik jaren geleden met het vliegtuig aankwam in Zimbabwe weet ik dat ik op het moment dat ik uit het vliegtuig stapte en de geur op snoof en de warmte voelde wist "dit is thuis", dit voelt zo goed. Mogelijk voel ik mij dus ook wereldburger. Ik bloei op met mensen van meerdere culturen om mij heen. Daar geniet ik echt van.
Ik wil nog iets toevoegen. Ik ben erg blij dat mijn ouders mij Nederlands hebben leren spreken en schrijven. Ik denk wel dat taal en identiteit verweven zijn. Lees hier meer over op mijn blog bericht over taal. Ik heb op mijn blog een aantal voorbeelden van Nederlanders die een deel van hun jeugd in een andere cultuur gewoond hebben, (TCKs).

Voor diegene die dit lezen en in het buitenland opgegroeid zijn: Voel jij je een Nederlander of een wereldburger. Hoe was het om terug naar Nederland te komen? Waar liep je tegen aan?

My 10 disadvantages of growing up in another culture

Photo by Anita Patterson Morgue file

The last post was My 10 advantages of growing up in another culture. This week it is about the disadvantages of growing up in another culture. I do think the advantages definitely outweigh the disadvantages but the are real challenges when you grow up cross-culturally and when you relocate as a child many times, like my family did when I was growing up. In this blog post you can read how many times I moved as a child. Here are my tips when moving with kids.

So here are my 10 disadvantages:

1. Having had to move often.
2. Saying "good-bye" many times. I remember my parents used to tell friends and family that they preferred everyone to say "hello" to us and welcome us back to Holland at Schiphol international airport than that they would wave us goodbye. Maybe they found saying "good-bye" difficult too?
3. Being far away from family and friends. I found this great blog post by Libby Stephens Grandparenting over the seas. Some good advice, worth reading. I grew in the age before email and skype. Communicating is a lot easier these days.
4. Not knowing where "home" is.
5. Not knowing the geography of my passport country. I never had geography of the Netherlands. When I had geography in Zimbabwe it was mainly "African" geography.
6. Not knowing certain popular TV shows, songs etc.
7. Having a kind of restlessness. I need new challenges and changes. I even find it difficult spend time at home during a holiday period.
8. Preferring not to change my email address or telephone number if it is not absolutely necessary. In this I prefer to keep the same email address for ever if possible.Making it easier to stay in contact with old acquaintances?
9. I have some language difficulty (with Dutch), I attended international and local schools, this was all in English. We had some extra Dutch lessons but I don't feel very confident in writing Dutch.
10. Not knowing all the Dutch sayings.

On the internet I came across The 10 Lifestyle habits of third culture kids. It gives insight into the life lived by third culture kids and the kind of baggage you are left with as a result of you experiences.

"Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven."  ~Tryon Edwards

I don't think the list of disadvantages is complete but for now it is fine like this. What disadvantages do you experience or did you experience?

Related posts:

• The downside of growing up overseas as a third culture kid
• Neither Here nor There...Where do I belong?
• Cultural identity confusion and the third culture kid
• Third culture kids learning to be themselves

Twitter update week 43: All about kids growing up in other cultures

9 Great tips @MultiLingLiving Baby steps to biliteracy http://bit.ly/sFb7aw
start when the baby's in the womb

Thanks for the mention by @ExpatInfodesk "10 more tweeters all expats should follow"
http://bit.ly/sgWbYU

Dutch third culture kid celebrating halloween in Beirut http://bit.ly/shcLmi all about growing up globally!

I was on the great wall, sorry to have missed out on the toboggan! Sounds like fun read @InteractivExpat http://bit.ly/vxsVJ3

Orchids, I love tropical flowers.

“Learning a 2nd language: I know my children will be thankful later on” http://bit.ly/uuaWbM  

Freshaliciously- Sunshine Soup by Jo Parfitt is the perfect book to read if you are an expat. Loved it!
http://wp.me/p1g9kZ-dc

Read this @MoveOneInc Children of expats may gain valuable advantage in global workforce arena
http://bit.ly/tc7iET 

"Preparing Your Global Nomad for Transition to University" by @tinaquick http://bit.ly/tFypQu

RT @Libby_Stephens TCKs would you describe yourselves as rootless? Look forward to your thoughts on http://tinyurl.com/44tys2b

Informative post: A Guide to relating with third culture kids, written by a TCK: http://bit.ly/sxiQR4

An unexpected culture shock on returning home (China) from overseas. Third culture kid Elizabeth tells her story http://bit.ly/nUoHxj

Wish I could attend @Xpatathens 3 nov'11 20 pm free lecture on Third Culture People A New Cultural Reality http://bit.ly/pMGJZg in Athens

Interested in how a guidance counselor at an international school in China explains what third culture kids are? http://bit.ly/qDl6te 

Have you heard of the new book for third culture kids? Slurping Soup & other Confusions http://bit.ly/qZTRVO

Interesting article @denizenmag The right to vote in the place you live...complicated!
http://bit.ly/mTTTjL 

Wisten jullie dat Mauro ook een third culture kid is? Net als ik, lees meer over TCKs
http://bit.ly/sKowBo Wat zijn dat?

Leuk stukje over third culture kids @MyHeritageNL http://bit.ly/t8XViN Ken je Jutta König? Weet je wat TCKs zijn? Wereldburgers?

For more links see my twitter update week 38 all about kids growing up globally. Do you have any interesting links on this topic? Please let me know.