Showing posts with label language. Show all posts
Showing posts with label language. Show all posts

Thursday, 9 May 2013

Is There a Difference Between Adults and Kids Living Abroad?

Someone wrote to me this week that there is no difference between adults and children living abroad in different cultures. I am sorry but I cannot agree with this statement because it just is not true. There are many things that are the same:
  1. Both adults and children can experience a culture shock on transitioning to a new country.
  2. Both can struggle to learn the new language. Usually the kids win this one!
  3. Both need to discover what the rules and customs are in a country. The kids usually adapt quicker than the adults.
Madurodam, in the Netherlands
The difference is that the adults have formed their identity before moving to the new country. The child is still is still in the process of forming his or her identity. So the key word here is: identity. In my latest post I wrote about identity. Culture is linked to identity. Once you do know how a culture works it gives us a sense of belonging, identity and confidence. The problem with third culture kids is that they might think they know the culture and then suddenly they move to a new country and the culture is different. Our family, our community and the place we live in serve as mirrors to us. A child forms their own identity by using these mirrors. When the mirrors change the identity formation is much more of a challenge. This is the crucial difference between adults and children living and moving abroad.

I believe there are things that parents can do to help kids form their identity and to help third culture kids feel less of a victim of their circumstances. In the end no one grows up in perfect conditions. Maybe I will write about this in the future.

10 Things parents can do to help their children form their identity and thrive while growing up abroad:
  1. Regularly return to the passport country, for me that was the Netherlands.
  2. If possible return to the same place for a period of time in the passport country. We usually spent part of our leave on the family farm in Friesland, in the north of the Netherlands. It helps kids bond with that place. Julia Munroe Martin writes about where she spent her summer vacations. "I had no place to call home. The closest I ever felt to home was with my grandmother at her house in Poland, Ohio, on the banks of Yellow Creek."
  3. Tell stories about your heritage. Tell stories about the grandparents. Research shows that children who know more about their family background are more resilient. Here's an article about it in the New York Times.
  4. Teach children their mother tongue. Speak it to them and encourage them to speak it. There is an interesting link between language and identity!
  5. Help the children to be in contact with their family abroad. Here are some great suggestions by Libby Stephens on grandparenting over the seas.
  6. Have your own family traditions. Develop your own way of celebrating birthdays or special days. While I grew up in Africa we celebrated Sinterklaas every year.
  7. Encourage children to have a treasure box, with special small items from the countries they have lived in.
  8. Help children say goodbye well when they leave a country, so that they can start anew in a healthy way.
  9. Help children when they transition back to their passport country. If possible let them have their own debriefing*. The transition back is very challenging.
  10. If children are transitioning back for college or university you can consider getting a mentor to mentor them during the transition period. There is a new mentoring program for expat teens done by Sea Change Mentoring.
Do you have any suggestions how we can help our kids? Do you agree that there is a difference between adults and children living and moving abroad?

* Debriefing is telling our story, complete with experiences and feelings, from our point of view. It is a verbal processing of past events. Debriefing includes both facts and emotional responses, and invites feedback.

Related posts:
Third culture kids self-identity books
Sharing our Roots Interview (on Life with a Double Buggy)
Learning to Grieve well (on Communicating across Boundaries)
The discomfort of re-entry back home (on Sara Taber's blog)

Monday, 17 September 2012

Great things can happen online

Guess what my blog has been nominated for the Expatica "I am not a tourist Expat blog competition". I was nominated by The European Mama. She's a fellow blogger, a Polish mother living here in the Netherlands with her German husband and two daughters. Great things happen while I'm blogging or even sometimes while I am not looking. Suddenly my blog gets nominated for a competition, I meet new people online, and I get comments on my posts. Thank you. I am really enjoying this blogging adventure! Now the good thing about the blog competition is that you, the readers get to decide which blog wins the price.

I was asked which post I would like to share for the competition and I choose this one: Meet Rebecca an expat raising trilingual kids in the Netherlands. I choose this post because I am always very interested in the stories people have to tell. We can learn from the experiences of other parents. I was raised bilingually while growing up in Africa. I am so happy my parents made the effort to teach us Dutch. You can read more on how I learned my mother tongue. I think teaching your children your own language is one of the best gifts you can give them.

Maybe they do not appreciate it now but I can nearly guarantee you that in the years to come your children will be thankful that you taught them to speak their mother tongue.

" Preserving Your Heritage Language is the key to preserving your next generation, giving your child a true sense of identity and a high level of self esteem."

The Expat Blog competition is open until the 7th of October which is the day of the expat fair at the Beurs van Berlage in the heart of Amsterdam. Hop over and see all the other blogs that have been nominated and cast your vote here: http://www.expatica.com/iamnotatourist/blog_vote.php. 


Related posts:

Saturday, 17 March 2012

The best gift you can give your kid

I came across this Language Challenge 180 and I want to share it with you. There are over 650 people worldwide joining in the challenge and learning or passing on to there kids more than 50 different languages. I'm excited about the challenge because it is such a precious gift parents can give their kids the possibility of learning their mother tongue or father tongue. I wrote a blog on third culture kids learning their mother tongue.

As many of you know I grew up in Africa, I went to an English speaking international school and was surrounded by English speaking people most of the day but my parents come from the Netherlands. So my mother tongue is Dutch. To this day I am so glad that my parents made an effort to teach us to speak, read and write Dutch. Yes you are right it cost them energy, money, time and perseverance, but I am grateful.

Just to get back to the challenge. You can find more information on the website of Multilingual Living. I am impressed by the helpful information that can be found on this website. If you join in the challenge you will receive 2 emails each week with language tips, information and activities for the week. There are prize giveaways each week.

On the language page you will find many different languages. There you can share language-specific tips, resources and information. Here are a few languages that you will find in the list:
  1. Dutch
  2. English
  3. Spanish
  4. German
  5. Italian
  6. Chinese
  7. Arabic
There are many more languages in the list. Here are two quotes from the Multilingual Living website:

"When it comes to learning a language or passing one on to our children, the key component is consistency: doing at least a little bit each and every day."

"Languages are a little like muscles: if we don’t use them, they can atrophy over time."

I found this quote on the internet too and I like it:

" Preserving Your Heritage Language is the key to preserving your next generation, giving your child a true sense of identity and a high level of self esteem."

I hope I have motivated you as parents to start or to keep teaching your kids your own language. I truly think it is the best gift you can give them. Do you agree? 

Related posts:
Photo thanks to Duboix Morgue File

Sunday, 25 December 2011

Christmas around the world.

Sorry to say I don't have much inspiration today, but I do want to wish you all a happy Christmas. So I will start by doing that in several different languages. On this website you can even hear how some are pronounced. As a third culture kid I grew up multilingual and I still enjoy hearing different languages being spoken around me.
  • Prettige kerstdagen en een gelukkig nieuw jaar (that's in Dutch)
  • Merry Christmas and a happy new year
  • Noflike Krystdagen en folle lok en seine (Frisian, the language spoken in the North of the Netherlands. It's the language my grandparents spoke). It's my "father tongue".
  • Joyeaux Noël et bonne année (French, the language I learned at school)
  • Feliz Natal! Feliz Ano Novo! (Portuguese, the language my parents learned when they had passed the age of 50 years and were preparing to work in Angola).
  • Hyvää joulua ja onnellista uutta vuotta (Finnish, just because the words look nice).
  • Glædelig jul og godt nytår (Danish, it sounds nice) .
 Here is some interesting information about Christmas around the world: 
  1. Did you know that the expats in Africa are most likely to make a call home at Christmas?
  2. Want to read more about what Christmas looks like for third culture kids? Read Libby Stephens' post called: Christmas TCK style.
  3. Did you know that: Christmas Day is just an ordinary day for most Chinese people. Sarah Crack is a teacher in Tianjin, China tells about it on the Telegraph website.
  4. Want to know how Christmas is celebrated here in the Netherlands? Read about it on The Expatica website. 
  5. For Dutch kids Sinterklaas is associated with getting presents. Read all about Sinterklaas on a previous blog post of mine.  
  6. Do you want to see a fresh telling of the first Christmas (done by children)? Go over to the Third Culture Kids & company website. Enjoy.
Well as a third culture kid we celebrated Christmas many times in Malawi and Zimbabwe. My memories of those times are a mixture of English carol singing, church, pot luck meals (yummy! trifles and more), new made friends, swimming, eating, making music and of course a Christmas tree. Even though there was never snow!
  • What are your Christmas memories? If you can say happy Christmas in an additional language please add it in the comments. Thanks.








Sunday, 11 December 2011

Twitter update: week 49. All about third culture kids

 Having a Baby Abroad - Global Differences Series: QATAR

New book coming up: Third culture kids & Global effects on Business Sustainability.
http://bit.ly/shRSDE

How Third Culture Kid’s Natural Cross Cultural Vision Can Power International Business Expansion  

Christmas traditions that just didn't happen.

Immigration and Language:  

Debora talks more about moving back to Switzerland as a TCK. Adjustments. Difficulties. http://bit.ly/tnPGCV

Many children are 'third culture kids' find out what this means and the challenges expat parents can face  http://bit.ly/u2injw

A recovering third culture kid tells of fond memories of a "Displaced Christmas" in

Writer Pico Iyer describes himself as "a global village on 2 legs" Check out this interview:

So true and funny too! Read this: Top 10 Third Culture Kid Quirks

Gijs woont nu in : een interview met een third culture kid bij Wereldkids.

Want to read more? Here's my Twitter update week 43 all about kids growing up in other cultures.
Here you can find Great third culture kid information on the web.

Please add your links if you have an interesting blog or know of a good blog or website. Thanks!

Monday, 28 November 2011

Third culture kids: learning their mother tongue.

As I was on twitter tonight I realised that the tweets I was sending were mainly about language learning. So I thought that's what my blog post will be on today too. As you know I am an (adult) third culture kid. Born and raised in Africa but with Dutch blood. There are many advantages of growing up abroad but one of mine is that I was raised bilingually. We spoke Dutch at home and English at school. It was very tempting to mix English words into our "home" language but my parents had clear rules on that one. Especially when we as kids were quarreling we had a tendency to switch to English.

Now I am living in a Dutch environment but to this day I enjoy speaking English with by brothers and sister. We don't do it all the time but is feels so "comfortable". Even on the telephone we just switch from one language to the other.

It's good to have a family language plan. A language expert writes about it: Family Language Planning - A Tool For Success.

So what was my parents' plan? I'm not sure but here are a few things we did:

  • Wrote Dutch letters to our family
  • Sang Dutch children's songs, especially on long trips in the car! My mum knew lots of songs and loves singing. Songs like "Hansje Pansje Kevertje die klom eens op een hek..."
  • Carried kilograms of children's books in our suitcases when returning back to Africa. This was in the time before you could order books through the internet.
  • Were members of the children's library in Harare, Zimbabwe (that was 366 kilometres from Bulawayo where we lived).
  • Had Dutch lessons during the holidays. As kids that was terrible, but now I am terribly grateful!
  • Read many Dutch children's books.

I just want to encourage parents raising multilingual children. Please don't give up. I know it takes effort but know that in the long run your children will be grateful. Recently I have spoken to third culture kids who cannot speak their mother tongue well and they really regret it. A good site for information on this topic is Multilingual Living. Read this good advice on their website: 10 things you should NEVER say to your bilingual child.

Here's some food for thought on this topic:
  1. Make language learning fun.
  2. Don't listen to people who think that speaking the native language at home should be stopped.
  3. Be patient. Being patient is the key for your child to build confidence in a second language.
  4. Find material that helps with the language learning (like DVDs, computer games, books, CDs).
Want to read more? Bilingualism and growing up abroad.

Do you have thoughts on this topic? Parents do you have advice for other parents? Third culture kids do you have something to add? Please share your comments. (Photo thanks to Griet, Morgue file).

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

My 10 disadvantages of growing up in another culture

Photo by Anita Patterson Morgue file
The last post was My 10 advantages of growing up in another culture. This week it is about the disadvantages of growing up in another culture. I do think the advantages definitely outweigh the disadvantages but the are real challenges when you grow up cross-culturally and when you relocate as a child many times, like my family did when I was growing up. In this blog post you can read how many times I moved as a child. Here are my tips when moving with kids.

So here are my 10 disadvantages:
  1. Having had to move often.
  2. Saying "good-bye" many times. I remember my parents used to tell friends and family that they preferred everyone to say "hello" to us and welcome us back to Holland at Schiphol international airport than that they would wave us goodbye. Maybe they found saying "good-bye" difficult too?
  3. Being far away from family and friends. I found this great blog post by Libby Stephens Grandparenting over the seas. Some good advice, worth reading. I grew in the age before email and skype. Communicating is a lot easier these days.
  4. Not knowing where "home" is.
  5. Not knowing the geography of my passport country. I never had geography of the Netherlands. When I had geography in Zimbabwe it was mainly "African" geography.
  6. Not knowing certain popular TV shows, songs etc.
  7. Having a kind of restlessness. I need new challenges and changes. I even find it difficult spend time at home during a holiday period.
  8. Preferring not to change my email address or telephone number if it is not absolutely necessary. In this I prefer to keep the same email address for ever if possible.Making it easier to stay in contact with old acquaintances?
  9. I have some language difficulty (with Dutch), I attended international and local schools, this was all in English. We had some extra Dutch lessons but I don't feel very confident in writing Dutch.
  10. Not knowing all the Dutch sayings.
On the internet I came across The 10 Lifestyle habits of third culture kids. It gives insight into the life lived by third culture kids and the kind of baggage you are left with as a result of you experiences.

"Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven."  ~Tryon Edwards

I don't think the list of disadvantages is complete but for now it is fine like this. What disadvantages do you experience or did you experience?

Related posts:

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Bilingualism and Growing up Abroad

I just read Libby Stephens' blog  Bilingualism and Emotional Competency. I would like to encourage parents, educators and third culture kids to read her post. It is really full of information.

Libby writes that language is so often tied to identity. I really agree on this one. Many of you have probably read my story. I was born and bred in Africa. After living there for the first 19 years of my life, I left Zimbabwe and headed off to the Netherlands to study at university. All my years in Africa had not changed the colour of my blond hair and blue eyes. My passport too was Dutch. So even though I had never really lived there many people referred to me as the Dutch girl. Well let me tell you that "the Dutch girl" was so happy that her parents had made the effort to teach her to speak, read and write her own language: Nederlands (or Dutch).

During my time in Africa many hours of my holidays were spent learning Dutch. It was compulsory. My parents always ensured that we spoke Dutch in the home. You must understand that all my schooling was in English. In Malawi I attended international schools. Often it was very tempting to switch to English when I was playing with my siblings, but my parents kept their ears open.

We were encouraged to write letters in Dutch to our grandparents and extended family. My mother ensured a never-ending supply of Dutch children's books. In Harare, the capital of Zimbabwe there was a small library with Dutch children's books and so we would travel 366 km to get new library books. I am telling you this to show you the amount of effort needed to learn a language or to keep the language fluent.

I am so grateful that my parents encouraged us and made such an effort to teach us our family language. How would I have ever been able to communicate with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc if I had not been able to speak Dutch? Please parents make wise choices on this language issue. Seek expert advice, don't take the easy road. Remember language has everything to do with identity. Remember there is also a language of the heart.   

Every now and then I meet people who regret that their parents did not teach them to speak their home language. Well I could write another whole post on this subject but maybe I can summarize it in two main words: PAIN and REGRET.

Morgu file Vahiju
Recently I even read that bilingual brains are more healthy.  Canadian neuroscientist Ellen Bialystok finds that people who speak two languages cope significantly better with the disease. Even late-life language learning is beneficial, probably because it is way of keeping the brain active.

Some time ago I wrote a post in Dutch called taal.
I also wrote about the book Make Your Child Multilingual by Silke Rehman.This is my most recent post: Third culture kids learning their mother tongue.

Do you have advice on bilingualism or multilingualism? Do you have tips for parents? Did you grow up bilingually? What's your story? Please share it.

Thursday, 11 August 2011

Twitter update week 32: news on kids growing up in other cultures

Just in case you missed these twitter links, here they are. Especially for you.

Nice article about kids and their accents (third culture kids, TCKs)


Tips for kids to settle into their new home


Moving with kids to a new country, involve the kids with the move
http://bit.ly/na6wrt

A book review of Expat Children´s book `Sammy´s Next Move` by Helen Maffini
http://bit.ly/r8gOFm

A blog post by a third culture kid (TCK) writing about being addicted to change
http://bit.ly/pa9L1w

Check out this new TCK documentary/film via :
 

Excellent feature on third culture kids (TCKs) in 's alumni magazine called                  "At home in the world"

How to prepare your kid for real life, before sending him/her to college
http://bit.ly/qaNHga

Giving kids a little help to make new friends at the start of the school year


I found an interesting post at The Smart Expat. She is mother of two third culture kids (TCKs) and she wrote a post on Where do you come from? Her daughter had lived in five countries and her son had lived in four different countries. This question is the most difficult question or one of the most difficult questions for children who grow up in different cultures. They are known as third culture kids or global nomads. They could be expat kids, but it is not necessary.

Is `where do you come from?` a difficult question for you? It was during my university days. Do you have any interesting links on kids growing up in other cultures? Please add your links in the comment section. Thanks.

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Interesting worldwide third culture kid (TCK) news

Recently I have been having quite a struggle deciding whether this blog should be in Dutch or in English. Originally I wanted to write it in Dutch, so that is how I started, sprinkling some occasional English phrases into it. The problem is that the goggle translation does not work from Dutch to English because there are some English words in the text so the machine says it is already in English. Maybe this is the kind of struggle I have had in my life. Some kind of language struggle. In Dutch I struggle with the "d"s and "t"s. If a book was originally written in the English language I really want to read the original English version and I struggle with the translated Dutch version. Well I think I will just treat you on an English post today and we will see what the future will hold. I am not sure that one is allowed to mix languages on a blog, but that is the problem with third culture kids (TCKs), we do not fit in the box and we do not always do things the way the should be done. Who's fault is that? Can I blame it on my parents? In this day and age we always want to blame someone....

I will share some interesting links, blogs and twitters I came across this week. Be informed and have fun!

  
Twitter updates:

Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Boek "Make your child multilingual" geschreven door Silke Rehman

Ik ga even door op het thema "taal" waar ik gister mee begonnen ben. Het boek "Make your child multilingual" is geschreven door Silke Rehman. Dit is een werkboek voor ouders. Het is de bedoeling dat je er mee aan de slag gaat. Het boek stimuleert je met opdrachten om na te denken over hoe je je kind meertalig wilt opvoeden. Als je een boek met wetenschappelijke onderbouwing zoekt dan is dit niet het boek voor jou. Dit is een praktisch boek. In kleine kadertjes door het boek heen staan stukjes over de schrijfster haar eigen ervaring met tips erbij. In het boekje geeft de schrijfster 10 stappen tot succes.

Ze geeft onder andere antwoord op de volgende vragen:
- Is het erg als mijn kind de talen door elkaar spreekt?
- Als mijn kind dylexie heeft, wat dan?
- Wanneer  moet ik mijn kind leren het lezen en schrijven in de tweede taal?
En antwoord op nog veel meer vragen.
Silke heeft veel gezinnen geholpen om hun kinderen meertalig op te voeden. Zelf spreekt ze Duits, Engels, Frans en Spaans en een beetje Chinees en Arabisch.

Nederlandse informatie over meertaligheid is te vinden op de website kind en taal. Het is een website van de Nederlandse vereniging voor Logopedie en Foniatrie.

Meer informatie is te vinden op de website www.themlnetwork.com.

Er is ook een Engelstalige website www.multilingualchildren.org speciaal voor ouders die hun kinderen meertalig of tweetalig willen opvoeden.

Volgens het bovengenoemde boek is één van de succesfactoren volharding door de ouders. Succes.

Monday, 27 June 2011

Taal

Ik ben nog steeds dol op boeken.
Als kind heb ik van de kleuterschool tot en met de middelbare school op Engelstalige scholen gezeten. Ik weet nog wel dat wij in mijn tienertijd in Zimbabwe woonde en mijn ouders waren altijd erg streng wat betreft de taal die thuis gesproken werd. Thuis moesten wij Nederlands praten, dat was verplicht! Met mijn broers of zusje gingen wij in ons spel wel eens over op het Engels maar dat mocht echt niet. Heel soms als wij iets over school wilde vertellen dan hadden wij het over "breaktime" (de pauze) of over "geography" (dan konden wij er even niet op komen dat het aardrijkskunde was). In de vakanties kregen wij een uur per dag Nederlandse les van Ivio (heet nu Ivio-Wereldschool). Ik vond het toen heel erg maar achteraf ben ik erg blij dat ik van jongs af aan ook Nederlands heb geleerd. Zodoende kon ik op mijn 19de toch naar de Nederlandse universiteit. Soms praat ik wel eens Engels met mijn broers of zus aan de telefoon ofzo, het voelt gewoon "lekker" om Engels met elkaar te praten.

Mijn moeder heeft altijd haar best gedaan om ons Nederlandse kinderliedjes te leren en om te zorgen dat wij Nederlandse kinderboeken zouden lezen. In Harare, de hoofdstad van Zimbabwe was er ook een tijdje een Nederlandse kinderbibliotheek. Als wij in Harare waren (366 km verder op) dan konden wij onze boeken ruilen.

Lees hier een Engels artikel over tweetalige opvoeding van de expatica website.

Meer lezen over het belang van het behouden van de tweede taal? Ellen Blom heeft een artikel voor Radio Nederland Wereldomroep geschreven. Zij is ook wel bekend als Juffrouw Blom. In het artikel staan de taalbehoud top 10.

Persoonlijk zou ik ouders aanraden om zich in te spannen zodat kinderen hun moedertaal ook blijven spreken, welke taal dat ook maar is.

Lees ook mijn blog over spreekwoorden.

Thursday, 23 June 2011

Spreekwoorden

Weet je waar ik niet zo goed in ben? Ik ben niet goed in Nederlandse spreekwoorden en gezegdes. Dat heb je vaker als je in het buitenland bent opgegroeid. Ik ken de Nederlandse TV programma's (uit de tijd van mijn jeugd) eigenlijk ook niet zo. Namen van artiesten die alle Nederlanders zouden moeten kennen die weet ik dan niet. Er zit een hiaat in je kennis en dat haal je niet zo maar in. Ik weet weer andere dingen zoals waar Mutare precies ligt in Zimbabwe, maar ja daar heb ik hier niet zo veel aan.


In het Frans Hals museum in Haarlem kwam ik een bijzonder schilderij tegen van Pieter Brueghel. Er zijn allemaal spreekwoorden afgebeeld in het schilderij. Misschien kan ik als nog de spreekwoorden leren?





Herken je dat bij jezelf ook dat je soms bepaalde dingen gewoon niet weet, waarvan iedereen er eigenlijk vanuit gaat dat je ze weet? Lijkt mij leuk als je een reactie achterlaat.

Voorbeelden van spreekwoorden die er op staan:
De bezem uitsteken:  feestvieren
Een aal bij de staart hebben: dingen doen die mislukken
Daar groeien vlaaien op het dak: daar leeft men in overvloed
Nou succes met de spreekwoorden!