Just the Right Book if You are Dreaming of a Portable Career

"Harness the winds of change for yourself and use them to sail to your next career destination".

This is just one of the great quotes in the 4th edition of A Career in Your Suitcase by Jo Parfitt and Colleen Reichrath-Smith. I am interested in this book even though I am not a trailing spouse but I am an adult third culture kid. I grew up moving around the globe and one of my dreams is to one day have a portable career. A career that I can just take with me when I move to the other side of the world for a couple of months or for longer. As it happens I am making a career change at the moment which is why I really enjoyed the book.

A portable career is work that you can take with you wherever you go. A portable career is based on who you are, your passion, your unique gifts and ability. It's the expression of yourself in your work.

The first couple of chapters are about finding your direction. What is your passion? The second part of the book helps you see your opportunity. The book is full of tips, inspiring quotes, exercises, resources and websites. The third part of the book puts it all together and adds practical information about working for yourself.

The book is inspiring and gives you lots of food for thought and for action of course. Something that struck me was the importance of connecting with other people. Barbara Sher, bestselling author of "I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What it Was", advises, "Failure to achieve our career ambitions does not result from a lousy attitude; rather from isolation." There are many examples in the book of expat wives that connect with others abroad and discover their passions. Jo Parfitt tells her story of how she wrote a cookbook called Dates in Oman and became a successful journalist in Dubai. Now she runs Summertime Publishing.

Colleen Reichrath-Smith made an international move from Canada to the Netherlands for love. She shares her personal story and the challenges she faced on this journey like having to get her driving license in the Netherlands. Colleen has years of experience working in the career field.

The winds of change are blowing over this globe. In this time of globalization many people are making international moves and I honestly believe that the number of people with a portable career will increase. This book is worth reading because it's a great tool that will help you discover your skills and how you can use them to reach your goal. By the way it's very important to write down your goals. You should have a mission statement, there's more about that in the book. You will be put to work but it's worth it in the end. 

This is what Ruth van Reken, Co-author of Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing up Among Worlds, Co-founder of Families in Global Transition says about the book.  

"Through her Career In Your Suitcase program, Jo Parfitt helps people everywhere think outside of their traditional boxes. She not only teaches but models how each of us can make all the pieces of our lives work together to form something new and satisfying in the middle of a changing world. I recommend this book highly to all who want to learn how to begin seeing the possibilities of new beginnings they may not have recognised before."

For more information check the website Careerinyoursuitcase.com. You can follow @SuitcaseCareer on twitter. You can buy the book A Career in Your Suitcase here.

By the way if you buy A Career in Your Suitcase online from 12th - 16th May on Kindle it's free!

Interested in what others say about Career in Your Suitcase?

• Here's what Norman from the Expat Everyday Support Centre says.
• A review by Alison Day Designs

There's a webinar Create Your Portable Career by Colleen Reichrath-Smith on 23rd April 2013 2pm Sydney time.

Please share your experiences of your portable career if you have one.

Book review of the book "Expat Alien" by Kathleen Gamble

I am so happy that there are third culture kids out there writing books and telling us their story. Kathy Gamble not only grew up abroad but also followed suit. She married a Russian American, moved to Moscow and raised their son there. As an expat parent she raised their cross-cultural kid in Russia.

I met Kathy online through her blog Expat Alien. She has written her memoir "Expat Alien, My Global Adventures".

Her parents moved to Burma in the 1950's and that's where Kathy was born. Due to her father's job in Third World agriculture with the Ford Foundation the family moved to Mexico, Colombia and then to Nigeria. At thirteen years of age she goes to boarding school in Switzerland. She likes the school better than the one she attended in Texas for a while. In Switzerland "I felt like I could breathe" she writes. Kathy describes life at boarding school. The food was generally bad and you did not get to choose who you lived with.

While she was at boarding school in Europe she travelled the continent from Venice, Florence in Italy to Paris and London. She learned to ski in St Moritz. Actually wherever she was she travelled. "I used to run into people I knew a lot in airports and museums around the world".

The book gives insight into the life of a third culture kid. Kathy survived a plane crash, an earthquake and a military coup but to her her life was normal. It was only when she moved to California to start college that she discovered that the other girls didn't like her stories of her life abroad. They thought she was bragging or lying. Her first year was very difficult, she suffered from a "reverse" culture shock. I can really identify with this part of the book because my experience was very similar to Kathy's. I went to university in the Netherlands but had a similar experience. Kathy starts to wonder whether there is something wrong with her. During the years in America she never got over the feeling that she was different.

While living in Moscow, in her forties she discovers what global nomads are and that they are also called third culture kids. It was her "aha" moment, this was what she had been looking for. She says that she is not from anywhere. She is a third culture kid, from everywhere and nowhere.

The book is a great read for anyone who grew up globally or parents who are raising third culture kids. If you just enjoy travel and adventure stories then I am sure the book will appeal to you too.

Related Posts:
Interview with author Heidi Sand-Hart of "Home Keeps Moving"
Book review of Expat Teens Talk
New mentoring Program for Expat Teens
Book review of the Globalisation of Love by Wendy Williams

Long ago I fell in love with tropical fruits: a heritage of growing up abroad

Well I have to confess that my third culture kid heart has been beating faster the last few weeks. I have been travelling! I had the privilege of spending some time in Indonesia. Even though I grew up in Africa and have only recently travelled to Asia a couple of times I have discovered that I feel at home in Asia too. 

I love the tropical fruit juices. There is just nothing like the taste of well ripened mango's. Every now and then I am tempted into buying a mango here in the Netherlands but it either rots or just does not taste good, it usually turns into a disappointment.

It was really warm here and this cool mango juice was such a delight. Apparently mango's were part of my basic diet when I grew up in Zambia. There are photo's of me in diapers when I was a couple of years old sucking on a mango pip.

Other juices I enjoyed were avocado, pineapple, banana, guava and papaya (pawpaw) juice. Seeing all these papaya's in the supermarket excited me. We used to have papaya trees in our backyard. I remember the days my dad used a long stick to get the fruits down. He made us stand on guard and catch the fruits as the fell down. It was so stressful. Low and behold if the papaya splat on the ground. Believe me papaya's make a real splat, it can make a real mess.   

Smells bring back memories but so can your taste buds bring back memories.
What did you fall in love with growing up abroad? What foods brings back your memories?





Related posts:

• My heritage of growing up overseas: Respect for malaria
• My heritage of growing up overseas: A Heart for the children of the World
• My heritage of growing up overseas: Close encounters of a tropical kind

I am from..........and where are you from?

Recently I read a lovely post on a Dutch blog Opgroeien in het Buitenland. The post inspired me to write about where I'm from. Here is the result.

I am from....

I am from Acacia trees, Tanganda tea and tasty Royco soup.
I am from lovely gardens with hoopoe birds, cold stone houses and the fresh smell after the first rains.
I am from avocado trees, red flame lilies, roasted peanuts and watching the sunrise on a Matopos kopje.
I am from singing grace, climbing mount Mulanje and finding mountain cristals, from growing up bilingual and letters from grandparents far away.
I am from making music and cycling, from climbing trees and camping holidays with open fires.
I am from public speaking contests, toastmasters club and swimming galas.
I am from praise songs and love meals. Potluck diners and youth group fun.
I am from Zambia, Malawi, Zimbabwe and the Netherlands. Moving is the name of the game.
I am from homemade lemon curd, muesli, chutney and oliebollen (oil dumplings). From hagelslag (chocolate sprinklers) and drop (liquorish). From milk and cheese.
I am from the warm heart of Africa, but not officially. I am from the land of the multiculti. The tribe of third culture kids.
A global nomad. A global citizen.
I am from neither here nor there.
I am from all the people and places that I love.

                                                            *********************************************************************

I wonder where you are from. I used the "Where I'm from template". You can use the template too. I hope you try it, because it is actually great fun. I'm really interested in hearing where you are from. Let me know if you would like to share your story here. I could publish it as a guest post.Just to let you know that Lucia Bodeman has accepted the challenge. Here's her "poem" telling us where she's from. Thanks Lucia! Who's next?

Related posts:

• Third culture kids speaking: I'm not from anywhere
• Third culture kids going to university 
• Are you raising messed up kids?

Libby Purves: An Adult Third Culture Kid?

A while ago I discovered that Colin Firth, the actor in the film King's Speech was a third culture kid. He grew up in Nigeria, the United States and England. I like reading stories of the lived of people who grew up abroad just like I did. Today I read an article in the Dutch newspaper the NRC about Libby Purves. I am always really interested when I discover that someone was a third culture kid too. As a diploma's daughter Libby grew up in Israel, Bangkok, South Africa, France and England.

I am impressed by all the different things Libby Purves does or has accomplished. Here I name a few:

1. She won a scholarship to St. Anne's College in Oxford.
2. She presents the program Midweek on BBC radio 4. In 1978 she became the youngest ever presenter of radio 4s Today programme.
3. She writes a column for The Times newspaper.
4. She has written a series of books on childcare. Her books on childcare and family life have been translated into eleven languages worldwide. Like the Spanish book "Cómo no ser una madre perfecta".
5. She has written eleven novels including Mother Country, and a travel book, One Summer's Grace, about a 1,700-mile sailing journey round Britain with children aged three and five. Here's a list of more books she has written.

I discovered that Libby has written a Personal Memoir called "Holy Smoke: Religion and Roots". 

This is the book description on Amazon:  
'Middle Age' writes Libby Purves 'is a fine high vantage point for looking back. The official passing of another thousand years away from Bethlehem is a stimulus to thinking about Christianity'. In this fascinating and very personal book she does both: recalling her childhood in convents around the world with stories of nuns amid the gilded temples of Bangkok, rations of beer for nine-year-olds after High Mass in France and convent life in South Africa at the height of apartheid. As adults many Catholic girls of this generation gave up on religion, embracing agnosticism and the Pill with equal enthusiasm. The author describes Oxford in the late '60s, political idealism and religious disillusion; and traces the encounters that have shaped her thinking, and how, ironically, the scandals in the Church brought her closer to her childhood faith.
This sounds like an interesting book. Has anyone read this personal memoir? 

I was surprised to discover that Libby Purves has battled with depression all her life. After her son committed suicide she wrote a novel on bereavement Shadow Child."There is no solution to grief".

Here are some general characteristics on third culture kids: education and career as found on Wikipedia. These statistics are for U.S. TCKs:

• TCKs are 4 times as likely as non-TCKs to earn a bachelor's degree (81% vs 21%)^[27]
• 40% earn an advanced degree (as compared to 5% of the non-TCK population.)^[21]
• 45% of TCKs attended three universities before attaining a degree.^[21]
• 44% earned undergraduate degree after the age of 22.^[21]
• Education, medicine, business management, self-employment, and highly-skilled positions are the most common professions for TCKs.^[21]
• TCKs are unlikely to work for big business, government, or follow their parents' career choices. "One won't find many TCKs in large corporations. Nor are there many in government ... they have not followed in parental footsteps".^[21]

^{The reason that I have added the statistics is because I am so impressed by all the different things Libby Puves has accomplished. It sounds like she is an ambitious and highly skilled person. I have read that many adult third culture kids are highly ambitious. Libby has had to battle depression all her life, it makes me wonder whether that has anything to do with her growing up as a third culture kid? I don't know, but it does make me wonder.}

Are you a highly ambitious adult third culture kid? Have you had to battle depression? Do you think it helps adult third culture kids to write about their youth?

Related posts:

• A Third Culture Kid Speaking: I'm not from Anywhere
• Cultural Identity Confusion and Third Culture Kids
• Who Am I? A Guest Poem by Third Culture Kid Marina Sofia
• Third Culture Kids Do you Dare To Be Green?

New mentoring program for expat teens!

Recently I wrote about how important it is that counselors are curious and interested in a third culture kid's story. The great thing about blogging is that I get to meet new people online. I appreciate every comment that is left on my blog. Thank you so much. So that's how I met Ellen. She left a comment on the post I just mentioned. She wrote about a new online mentoring program for expat teens, called Sea Change Mentoring. As curious as I am, I had to know more about this. I am glad Ellen agreed to answer my questions. If you have more questions you can add them in the comments and hopefully Ellen can answer those too. Ellen grew up abroad too, just like I did!

1. Can you tell us about Sea Change, your online mentoring program for expat teens?

Sea Change Mentoring helps expat youth prepare for going back to their home countries, minimize reverse culture shock and maximize the benefits of having lived abroad. We do this by connecting high school students with mentors who grew up as expats and who went through this re-entry process successfully. With the help of our tailored curriculum, and by connecting online on a weekly basis, mentors ensure their proteges persist in college and lead healthy, independent lives.

2. What made you realize that there is a need for online mentoring?

I'm being heard!

My work at iMentor allowed me to observe firsthand how online mentoring changed the lives of thousands of young people in New York City. iMentor is one of the leading e-mentoring programs in the US. I worked for them for 5 years developing their volunteer management program, trainings thousands of mentors and ensuring the organization used the evidence and best practices in the field. 

After the 2011 earthquake in Japan, I realized that it was time for me to give back to my own community, the TCK community, by bringing mentoring to the lives of young people living abroad. I grew up as a TCK in Japan and Singapore and know firsthand what the benefits are of living abroad and what the risks can be of going “home.” According to the research that’s out there and our own survey results, the majority of TCK’s want (or wished they had) someone from the expat community to guide them through the process of adjusting to their home country. Mentoring is focused on letting the power of a structured relationship with a caring and safe adult be a guiding force in helping a young person live a well adjusted life. In my opinion, mentoring is perfectly suited to help young people living abroad.

3. How do you mentor the expat teens? Our mentors work with expat teens while they still live abroad. They are matched through the teen’s first year in their home country. Mentors and these proteges meet weekly via videochat technology. Together they create goals that they would like to achieve together within the structure of our curriculum. Mentors use the curriculum to guide teens through processing their expat experiences, managing their expectations of what coming home means and building coping skills that will help them minimize reverse culture shock. We cover topics like relationship building, pop culture and life skills (like getting a driver’s license and understanding how to use their country’s banking system).

4. Can you tell us something about your mentors? In what countries do they live? How many do you have? This organization is in its start-up phase and will launch our first program year in January, 2013.  We expect to work with over 50 mentors during this pilot year. The majority of the mentors will have US passports, necessary for screening purposes, but they may live anywhere in the world. All of our mentors are Adult Third Culture Kids and are carefully screened and trained. We pay them an hourly wage as a way to thank them for giving back to the community. So far the mentors we have recruited have lived in various countries in Asia, Africa, Latin America and the Middle East.

5. You have started mentoring recently, how many expat teens have you mentored so far? Again, this organization is in its start-up phase and will launch our first program year in January, 2013.  We expect to work with between 50 and 100 teens during our pilot year. So far, the response from families and schools across the globe reaffirms the need for this type of service.

6. What kind of problems do the teens experience when returning to their "home" country? As some of the research suggests and as our recent survey of over 200 Adult TCKs exposed, many kids experience depression, anxiety, feelings of restlessness and difficulty relating to peers.  A lot of this has to with unresolved grief. Ruth Van Reken goes into this in detail in her book Third Culture Kids.

7. What advice do you have for parents when they prepare their kids for re-entry into their passport country? In our recent survey we completed of over 200 Adult TCKs, parents came up a lot. The good news is that TCK’s that had an easier time adjusting to their home country had supportive parents that were present and educated about reverse culture shock. It helps when parents “go home” at the same time as the child, if they return to an area that the child is familiar with and if they attend the same university as their siblings. For Adult TCK’s that had a difficult time, many of them reported that they had wished their parents had been more empathetic. Also, many Adult TCK’s spoke about needing more help from parents on particular “life skills,” such as learning how to drive or how to use their home country’s banking system.

8. What advice would you give teens returning to their "home" country? Dr. Nan Sussman has done some great research on this topic and a lot of our curriculum reflects her suggestions. In her article, “Sojourners to AnotherCountry: the Psychological Roller-Coaster of Cultural Transitions,” she stresses the importance of psychologically preparing for their return home, understanding that feeling distressed once they have moved back home is normal and to find like-minded individuals to help ease the transition. In fact, we have found that teens that join international clubs or communities or that move to urban centers with diverse populations fare better. Many teens do well if they get involved or stay involved in sports once they return to their home country. Finally, just keeping a positive attitude about the transition can make a huge difference.  As one respondent from our survey said “While I was nervous and scared it was also this great new adventure where I was all on my own and I could either make the most of it or hit rock bottom.”

9. Do you have any suggestions for useful resources (like books, websites etc) for expat parents or their children? The book “Third Culture Kids", the research done by Dr. Nan Sussman and the varied articles in Denizen Magazine are the first resources that come to mind.

10. Is there anything else that you could like to share with the readers? I want to stress that are so many positive things that we can get out of being TCKs. Dr. Sussman reports that living abroad can increase our cultural sensitivity, Ruth E. Van Reken talks about how TCK’s have an expanded worldview. Our survey brought up some really interesting benefits of being TCKs. The one I think is most interesting, that a number of ATCKs wrote about, was the increased ability to think and express oneself creatively. With all the body language deciphering, interpreting and listening we have to do as TCKs, this makes a lot sense to me. As someone that has been involved with hiring college graduates for years, I often look for these qualities in potential employees. So I want to acknowledge both the difficulty and the privileges and life lessons we experience as TCKs.

If your readers are interested in becoming mentors, signing up a teenager for the program or becoming a corporate partner they can contact me at Ellen@seachangementoring.com or visit our website. 

                                                                                 ***********************************
Do you have suggestions for the mentoring program? Would you have liked to have a mentor on returning to your passport country? I would have! 

Related Posts:

• Dare to Be a Creative Third Culture Kid
• Children of the World: where are your roots?
• The Most Difficult Transition for Third Culture Kids
• My 10 disadvantages of growing up in another culture 

Image thanks to Mary R.Vogt at Morgue File

I am all the places in which I've left my heart

I came across this poem called "TCK" it is written by someone who writes under the name Marina Sofia. I would encourage you to read her poem. I just love it. Sometimes words can say so much.

In the poem she asks: "Who am I?"
One of her answers is: "I am all the places in which I've left my heart".

Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe by Janneke @DrieCulturen

If that's true, then pieces of my heart are in Zambia, Malawi, Zimbabwe, Scotland (I studied there for a couple of months) and here in the Netherlands. Recently we were on holiday in Indonesia, I think I lost my heart to that country too. Life's complicated sometimes.

I often think that there is so much more to me than you can see on the outside.
There's a hidden story on the inside for those who are interested enough to find out, or to ask about it.
For some the stories are too much to handle.
Growing up far away is a life beyond your imagination.
For others it is an exotic, fascinating story.
Maybe you fantasize too much.

Maybe we all have hidden stories.
Even those who grow up near to their roots.
Maybe we all have a moment that we struggle with our identity.
What do you think?

I do have a story to tell about every place that I left a piece of my heart.
Do you want to hear them?
Maybe in the coming posts.....
Let me know what you want to hear about.
I want to let you know that I want to hear your story too.

Is this true for you? "I am all the places in which I've left my heart"

Related posts:

• How do transitions effect children?
• Children of the world, where are your roots?
• Heard of the magazine: Among Worlds?
• New book about TCKs: Writing out of Limbo

How do transitions effect children?

Recently the The American Foreign Service Association (AFSA) had a panel discussion about third culture kids and their experiences. You can watch the film, it is nearly one and a half hours full of good information. The members of the panel all have many years of experience working with Third culture kids. One of the members of the panel is International educator and adult third culture kid (ATCK), Rebecca Oden, M.Ed,  who has been a teacher and a coordinator providing academic and emotional/social support for transitioning families and students.  Her master’s thesis and research focused on transition and its consequent effect on the identity of TCKs in the international school setting.

I want to share something with you that Rebecca Oden said at the start of the panel discussion. I share these words with you because I believe they are true. According to Rebecca here are:

4 very important variables that influence the life of a third culture kid (or internationally mobile child):

1. The developmental age of the child. There are different challenges and different issues at different ages. It's a little easier when children are younger, for example parents can arrange a play date and within moments of meeting each others toddlers can be playing together. The issues change depending on the developmental age. A child of 12 years old will not be charmed when mum arranges a play date but parents can facilitate the social interactions at that age.
2. The number of transitions a child has faced. Parents often think: well they did fine the last move so all will be well this time. There are all kinds of reasons why this time the transition is more difficult. It could be connected with the developmental age. It could be transition fatigue, tried of all the change, the multiple loss of status, starting over time and time again. The fragmented identities that need to be put together time and time again.
3. The family wellness. How is your family culture? Are you as parents doing well? Is this transition more difficult for one of the parents too?
4. School choice.  Is it a school that is knowledgeable about these kind of issues? Does it have a program to address these issues?

I can not really remember how I experienced each transition in my youth. In Malawi I went to international schools but in Zimbabwe I attended good local schools. I have good memories at all of these schools. An international school is not automatically the best choice. What's your experience? Do you identify with these 4 variables?

 Related posts:

• Third culture kids going to university 
• The downside of growing up overseas as a third culture kid
• Neither here nor there...where do I belong?
• Children of the world: where are your roots?

Neither here nor there...where do I belong?

 

"We all grew up in multiple countries

and multiple worlds,

the reasons are different 

and where we grew up is completely different

but we are united by this experience."

These are just a few words of the film "Neither here nor There" produced by Eman Ryan Yamazaki. The film is all about third culture kids, growing up among worlds. A trailer can be seen above. Clips of the film will be shown at The Families in Global Transition Conference (FIGT) 2012 in Washington this Friday 30th of March. The DVD of the film is for sale.

It's a documentary that explores cultural identity for people who have grown up in places other than their home culture, known as Third Culture Kids. Through the stories of six people, the film investigates the often overlooked effects on adults who had international upbringings, their struggles to fit in and an eternal search to belong. "Neither Here Nor There," explores the ideas of cultural identity. One person says: 

"I am a confusion of cultures, uniquely me"

As you know I was a third culture kid too. I have been thinking about the trailer of the film. I can identify with the people in the film. Their story is just like mine. The following words are my thoughts on this topic.

The past I cannot change,

the future I can try to influence

the present I can make the most of

but most of all I want to accept myself, just the way I am.

I will be happy just because I'm ME.

Mix together a little of these countries: the Netherlands, Zambia, Malawi and Zimbabwe.

Stir well

Add lots of sunshine

Allow to mature

Sprinkle with some tears

Enjoy the result: ME.

What are your thoughts on this topic? 

Related posts:

• Cultural identity confusion and third culture kids
• The downside of growing up as a third culture kid
• Children of the world: where are your roots?
• Third culture kids learning to be themselves
• Aga Magdolen's TCK film "Les Passagers"

Book review of "The Globalisation of Love". There's love in the air, all around the globe.

I heard about the book “The Globalisation of Love” on The Writer’s Abroad Radio show. Jo Parfitt interviewed the author Wendy Williams and my interest was awakened immediately. When I started to think about it, I realized that there are so many people around me in a multicultural relationship (a GloLo relationship as Wendy calls it in the book). I have neighbours, colleagues, family and friends around me in multicultural relationships. Even my own relationship brings together different cultures. The reason I choose to write a review of this book on this blog is that I have a feeling that third culture kids (TCKs) probably have more chance of entering into a GloLo relationship just because they mix with people from lots of different nationalities. Adult third culture kids usually love traveling too, so you have more chance of meeting your sweetheart on the other side of the globe.

The author Wendy Williams lived in 6 different countries and worked internationally for 18 years. Wendy is Canadian and she is married to an Austrian and is living in Vienna. They have an Austro-Canadian daughter.

GloLo couples have to bring together in addition to two personalities (which is already big challenge) their two worlds. In the book Wendy touches on different issues that are all part of a multicultural relationship, for example religion, language, location, food, and children. There is even a separate chapter on the topic of meeting the parents, this event often includes lots of traveling. Wendy has interviewed many multicultural couples and has included many examples and funny illustrations of things these couples differ in. I like all the examples because it makes it easy to relate to the different topics.

The children of GloLo parents are called GloLo children. They could actually be called Cross Cultural Kids, that’s the term introduced by Ruth van Reken.

In the book there are several Top 10 lists, like the Top 10 GloLo celebrity couples (glad to see that our Dutch Prince Willem-Alexander and our Argentinean Princess Maxima are included in the list). There are also Top 10 clues that you have GloLo children.

I can imagine that this book would be really good for couples that are extremely in love (living in the “love bubble”) as well as not so in love and struggling with multicultural issues in their relationship. The book is down to earth and helps you get an idea of what the consequences are of starting a GloLo adventure together. The book gives you “food for thought” while you enjoy reading it. Even parents and other family members of couples in a multicultural relationship should read the book because it will help them to understand the challenges faced.

You know love is in the air and it is all around the globe, so it’s good that there are books like this one.

“There is a world of multicultural romance happening out there and it is all captured in The Globilisation of Love.”

www.globalisationoflove.com

Related posts:

• New Book "Writing out of Limbo" about Global Nomads and Third Culture kids
• Heard of the magazine: Among Worlds?
• New book: "Emotional Resilience and the Expat Child"
• Great Third Culture Kid information on the web
• Cultural Identity Confusion and Third Culture kids

Guest blog by An African Gypsy: A story of an Adult Third culture kid

I was born in ex-Yugoslavia in the 1960’s. My divorced mother met a Sudanese student of Agriculture when I was five. Later, they got married and we moved: first to Iraq then Libya and traveled extensively by car through Turkey, Greece, and Egypt.

When I was twelve we settled in Khartoum, Sudan where I attended a Catholic school for girls and lived on a farm by the Nile. Sudan was a melting pot comprised of Coptics, Syrians, Greeks, Egyptians, Lebanese, numerous Sudanese tribes as well as the expat community. An entire generation of multiethnic and multifaith children.

There was something exhilarating and never monotonous about having all these customs, cultures and beliefs blend in one place, constantly something new to learn. Bewitched by the music, folklore and language of each country I have visited or lived in, I still love applying the intricate patterns of Henna and wearing the colourful Tobe. (A garment indigenous to Sudan that is draped around the body and worn loosely over the head) My favorite facet of such a lifestyle was accepting everyone equally. Colour, race or faith made no difference to me. Most people I grew up with were mixed race including my siblings who are also Muslim.

On the farm in Sudan

Even though I loved Africa I missed my grandparents, my father and my hometown. Also, I didn’t fit into any of the existing *categories* in the Sudan. I was not half Sudanese as many of my friends were and I was not an expat child whose parents worked for embassies and foreign companies. I grew up immersed in a Sudanese household, with a Sudanese stepfamily and half African siblings but my outer appearance didn’t fit my colloquial Arabic dialect or my unconsciously native mannerisms. Little children would run after me on the street giggling and shouting, “Halabiya” (Gypsy) due to my fair skin. (In Sudan, people from a gypsy origin are lighter skinned) Or they called me “Khawagiya”. Foreigner. It didn’t feel good.

As I get older, my birthplace, my hometown of Osijek by the Drava River tugs at my heart more urgently. I get emotional over Balkan songs and jokes. I miss the aroma of local bread, the delicate peaches, and chestnuts in the winter...the fields of sunflowers. On the other hand, the magnificent Nile, the scent of mangoes and jasmine and the rhythm of African drums call me just as powerfully.

Nowadays, I live in Dubai, interacting with people from 198 nationalities. Listening to the soothing echoes from a host of languages intrigues me in countless ways. Here, I blend in.

This interest in multiculture has led me to pen stories about individuals who are displaced, then thrown together in a culturally alien setting and how that changes them. My novel ‘Dubai Wives’ follows the lives of eight women from ethnically, culturally and religiously diverse backgrounds and their transformative journey in the glamorous metropolis of Dubai, a place as intricate and complex as the woven threads of a beautiful carpet.

Through all my writing and inner self searching I have realized that I will probably never be completely content in any one place, cursed and blessed by the countless forces that  have shaped me.

Good sites for third culture kids: http://www.tckworld.com/ and the Global Nomads Group. 

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Thank you Zvezdana Rashkovich for your guest blog! It's my honour. Zvezdana is author of the novel Dubai Wives. On her website www.zvezdanarashkovich.com you can find more information. We met on twitter @SleeplessinDubai in 2011. We have in common that we both grew up in Africa and are both (adult) third culture kids.

Children of the world. Where are your roots?

While searching on the internet I came across this nice film. I like it because it is about third culture kids in the Netherlands. I hope you enjoy watching "Children of Roots 2: Eindhoven Trailer".

This film has been made by Ritti Soncco. She is a writer, performer and filmmaker. She is an (adult) third culture kid. She was born in Peru, spent her childhood in Nigeria and she currently lives in Southern Germany. The film has been made in coloration with the International School in Eindhoven, the Netherlands.  

"The potato Ochoa continues the search for his roots... On his travels around the world, he meets the students of the International School of Eindhoven.

12 international students and 2 international teachers tell him their stories... Where is home? What does it mean to be "international"? If we grow up among many cultures, where do we have our roots?"

If you want to enjoy it to the full you should really watch Ritti Sonocco her earlier film called "Children of Roots Trailer". This is what part 1 is about:  

"The little potato Ochoa awakes one day in a German potato field. Confused about being so far away from home, he explores the city of Ulm, where he befriends three South American women and asks them how they live in a foreign country without forgetting their roots and culture. He then decides to return to Peru to seek out the home he once knew and ask his fellow Peruvians if they would ever consider emigrating from their country.

A puppet-documentary on the nature of home, integration and cultural heritage. Dedicated to the potato scientist, Dr Carlos Ochoa."

I love the creativity of third culture kids. Thank you Ritti Sonocco for your lovely documentaries!

Do you want to watch more films about third culture kids? Have you seen Aga Madolen's "Les Passagers"? It's really worth watching. Have you found your roots? Are you searching for them? Do you have advice for others in search of their roots?

My 10 disadvantages of growing up in another culture

Photo by Anita Patterson Morgue file

The last post was My 10 advantages of growing up in another culture. This week it is about the disadvantages of growing up in another culture. I do think the advantages definitely outweigh the disadvantages but the are real challenges when you grow up cross-culturally and when you relocate as a child many times, like my family did when I was growing up. In this blog post you can read how many times I moved as a child. Here are my tips when moving with kids.

So here are my 10 disadvantages:

1. Having had to move often.
2. Saying "good-bye" many times. I remember my parents used to tell friends and family that they preferred everyone to say "hello" to us and welcome us back to Holland at Schiphol international airport than that they would wave us goodbye. Maybe they found saying "good-bye" difficult too?
3. Being far away from family and friends. I found this great blog post by Libby Stephens Grandparenting over the seas. Some good advice, worth reading. I grew in the age before email and skype. Communicating is a lot easier these days.
4. Not knowing where "home" is.
5. Not knowing the geography of my passport country. I never had geography of the Netherlands. When I had geography in Zimbabwe it was mainly "African" geography.
6. Not knowing certain popular TV shows, songs etc.
7. Having a kind of restlessness. I need new challenges and changes. I even find it difficult spend time at home during a holiday period.
8. Preferring not to change my email address or telephone number if it is not absolutely necessary. In this I prefer to keep the same email address for ever if possible.Making it easier to stay in contact with old acquaintances?
9. I have some language difficulty (with Dutch), I attended international and local schools, this was all in English. We had some extra Dutch lessons but I don't feel very confident in writing Dutch.
10. Not knowing all the Dutch sayings.

On the internet I came across The 10 Lifestyle habits of third culture kids. It gives insight into the life lived by third culture kids and the kind of baggage you are left with as a result of you experiences.

"Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven."  ~Tryon Edwards

I don't think the list of disadvantages is complete but for now it is fine like this. What disadvantages do you experience or did you experience?

Related posts:

• The downside of growing up overseas as a third culture kid
• Neither Here nor There...Where do I belong?
• Cultural identity confusion and the third culture kid
• Third culture kids learning to be themselves

My 10 advantages of growing up in another culture.

Photo from Morguefile by Hotblack

This week I read a post written by Expat with kids. The post is about The 4 attributes of third culture kids. These attributes can make third culture kids global citizens of this world. The post is my inspiration for this week. Thanks.

So here are my 10 advantages of growing up abroad, of being a third culture kid.


If you are a third culture kid, you have probably developed:

1. Cross-cultural skills, I enjoy meeting people from other cultures.
2. Observational skills
3. Social skills, being good at making friends "quick".
4. Linguistic skills, you speak more than one language.
5. Adaptability, like a chameleon. Don't adapt too much. Read my blog on "Third Culture kids learning to be themselves."
6. A broad world view, thinking "outside of the box"
7. The capability of mentoring others because life experiences have been so varied.
8. The skill of being less judgemental.
9. The ability to being independent and autonomous.
10. More maturity than others of your age.

You know why we have developed the observational skills? When we were put in a new situation we had to "check out" the new situation. We had to quickly analyze what was going on around us. What should I say? How should I do things. I kept my ears and eyes open to see what was happening around me. I do think you are in a state of alertness when entering into a new situation, a new school, a new culture. I know what it is like to feel the "odd one out", because I have been the "odd one out" many times. I still quickly sense that somebody feels uneasy in a social situation. This has to do with my own experience.

If you want to read more on this topic I would really encourage you to read the book: "Third Culture Kids, The Experience of Growing up Among Worlds" by David Pollock and Ruth van Reken.

Do you want to read more about the advantages and disadvantages of being a TCK in this document.
Here you can read my Dutch post De 10 voordelen van het opgroeien in het buitenland.
Deze hoort er natuurlijk ook bij: De 10 nadelen van het opgroeien in het buitenland.

Read: My 10 disadvantages of growing up in another culture too.

Are you a third culture kid and would you like to add something to this list? What do you think of these advantages? Parents of third culture kids what are your thoughts on this topic?

Have you heard of the magazine: Among Worlds? Especially for Adult Third Culture kids (ATCK).

I recently took an international subscription to the magazine "Among Worlds". It's a magazine to encourage and empower adult third culture kids. In June 2011 the magazine celebrated its' 10th anniversary. The magazine is a quarterly magazine is published by Interaction International.

The September 2011 issue is all about "Social Networking". I will mention a few articles so you have an impression. There's an article written by Morgan McDermott about "Far-away Family & Friends Stay Close on Skype". She's a TCK who has lived in Holland, India, Saudi Arabia, Singapore and the United Kingdom. Of all the social media options she uses skype the most. She even talks to her grandfather on skype! She uses skype to play "checkers" with her grandmother.

There are articles about facebook and TCKs, an interview with TCK Jamie Farr on TCKs and the social network revolution. In the interview there is something about the possible exhaustion that can be a result of a TCK trying to communicate with so many people from the past. While I am writing this I realize that this could be an nice topic for a future post, who knows?

There is a book review about the book "Memories of the Sun". The book is written by Jane Kurtz, it contains a wonderful selection of stories concerning her beloved Africa. Sounds interesting to me (seeing as I have some "African" roots). I must admit I have not read this book...yet. Jane was a TCK too.

I like this quote that I found in the Among Worlds Magazine:

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, What?! You Too? I thought I was the only one."  C.S.Lewis

Here's another quote from the magazine:

"I am not the same, having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world"
Mary Anne Radmacher Hershey

Musings of a third culture kid has written a review on this magazine, even thought it 3 years old it's still interesting to read. Review of Among Worlds Magazine.

I have only read 2 issues but I enjoyed reading the articles and I do think that the magazine is really worth reading for TCKs and ATCKs. There are helpful articles and articles that make you think.

Do you want to read more? Here are some books I have enjoyed and maybe you would too.

Have you heard of this magazine? If you have has it helped you? In what way?

10 Travel Tips from an Adult Third Culture Kid

This post is all about traveling well in an airplane. As a kid I traveled many times. It is impossible to count the number of times I have flown in an airplane. Tomorrow I will be returning home and traveling for more than 24 hours. I will start the journey by car but most of the time will be spent in an airplane or waiting at an airport. I have a stop over with about 6 hours at an airport. It could be that third culture kids (TCKs) are experts in traveling. What do you think? So here are my 10 travel tips when traveling by air:

 

1. Drink lots of water.
2. Stretch regularly.
3. Make sure you have your book, i phone, mp3 player or whatever you want to do nearby especially on a long flight.
4. Have the medication you need to take with your meal at hand (and not above in the stowaway like I did on the journey to Asia). I needed to take my malarone (anti malaria medication) with my breakfast. Do read my earlier post about My Respect for Malaria.
5. Keep your camera at hand just in case you want to take shots out of the window, just like this photo above.
6. Take "patience"with you. It is handy when you wait in long queues.
7. Take a pair of socks with you, if you are lucky you will get a pair for free. 
8. I always have some toiletries in my hand luggage.
9. Make sure you switch off your cell phone, and that you know the code to switch it on with.
10. Take along your passport!

For more tips on air travel with young children: checkout Helen Maffini her website.
I just discovered that Heidi Sand-Hart started a new blog called Globebug and it is dedicated to her love of travel. Heidi is an adult third culture kid too and is the author of the book "Home Keeps Moving".

For those traveling: have a good journey. Try to make the most of it.It's really amazing that we can fly and see so many different parts of the world. I'm sure there are more tips, do you know some more? Please share them. What do you always take in your hand luggage?