Book Review: B at Home, Emma Moves Again by Valérie Besanceney

To start with I would like to wish you all happy new year. I hope it will be a year that you and your children will thrive and be resilient. I hope to write more about resilience in another post. In case you are moving with children this year than the book B at Home, Emma Moves Again might be just the book you need.

Emma is 10 years old and has already moved twice. At the start of the book she lives in the Netherlands. In the book her parents tell her that the family is moving again. She has mixed emotions and turns to B, her faithful teddy bear. Together they make the move.
Children can identify with the girl in the story. It can help them to feel that they are not alone, that there are other children who have gone through the same things. It can help children give words to the emotions they are feeling.

There are discussion questions at the end of the book. Parents could use the questions to chat with their children about the upcoming move. An example of a question is: Emma and her friends talk about how certain smells bring back memories. What are some smells that bring back strong memories for you?

The author Valérie Besanceney was born in the Netherlands, grew up as a third culture kid, making several international moves as a child, she is an experienced international school teacher and is raising two TCK daughters. She definitely knows what she is talking about. In addition to the book B at Home Besanceney has created a workbook My Moving Booklet. This is a great tool for parents and schools to ease a transition for a child. The children can share their emotions and there is also lots of room for creativity.

I had the privilege of meeting Valérie at the Families in Global transition Conference in Amsterdam in 2016.

Have you or one of your children read the book B at Home, Emma Moves Again? Are there other books that you would recommend for kids making international moves? Please share them with us.

Related Posts:

• Book: Emotional Resilience and the Expat Child
• Book review of Expat Teens Talk
• Q and A with Tanya Crossman author of the book "Misunderstood"
• Interview with Heidi Sand-Hart author of the book Home Keeps Moving
• 10 Tips to help your child prepare for an international move

Potato wisdom for raising kids abroad

It's good to start at something with some kind of idea what the end result will be. You should have a picture in mind. A vision. A dream. When I planted potatoes in our garden in the Netherlands I hoped the result would be that we would eat home grown potatoes. Just the idea of it filled me with pride. I could see our family around our table eating something I had produced. Then again it was the first time I was planting potatoes so I just never quite know whether it would be successful. I went to a garden centre to buy the potatoes. Luckily they did have several brands to choose from. There was my first challenge: which brand should I pick? Let me be wise and ask for help. The shop assistant politely let me know that he had no knowledge of potatoes and potato brands. That in itself is not a great problem had he been able to refer me to someone who could have given me advice. There I was all alone with my unanswered question. I checked the internet on my cell phone hoping to find the answer, it took lots of time and in the end I still didn't know what to do. So I took a lucky guess and choose one of the brands.

My potato plants copyright DrieCulturen

It's a little like raising kids abroad. Most of us do it for the first time in our lives. We have a picture of the end result. We want to raise strong, independent, healthy, multicultural, mature adults. The only thing is you are never quite sure what the end result will be like. Will we be successful?

What could we do to help ourselves when preparing to raise kids abroad?

1. Ask a professional and hope they know about third culture kids and can give good advice or that they can refer you to someone who can help you.
2. Check the internet on information about third culture kids and about moving internationally with kids. There's a recent article in the Telegraph by Helen Maffini: Top tips for emigrating with children. Another helpful article is Top 10 ways to cope with any transition by Julia Simens. Libby Stephens has a list of third culture kid resources that are worth checking. Here's my list of websites and blogs that are worth having a look st.
3. Read some good books on the topic.
4. Keep the image of your end result in mind. Don't let go of that dream.

Here's my harvest. Just to let you know: we did eat potatoes and it felt so good! I want to cherish moments like this. It makes life exciting. It was worth starting on this new adventure. Do you have advice for parents preparing to raise kids abroad?

Related posts:

• Third culture kids where are your roots? It's about a potato Ochoa searching for his roots.
• Meet Sammy the snail, a third culture kid
• Language links for parents raising multilingual children

Meet Sammy the snail, a third culture kid!

Here are some of Sammy's tips if you are moving overseas:

1.  Keep family traditions alive (like celebrating Sinterklaas?)
2. Bring soms familiar items from your home and put them in your new home.
3. Create a special album or a box with memories and add new things as you go along. Then when you look at it you can remember all the great times.
4. Stay in touch with old friends. Email is a good idea or you can also send a parcel.

Sammy hopes you have a great move! 

Do you want to know more about Sammy? In an earlier post called Global Nomads on the move part 2 I wrote about Helen Maffini's book called Sammy's Next Move. Helen was a third culture kid and she has lived and worked in 11 countries. Helen is a Canadian/British educational consultant who is currently living in Australia. 

Want to read more?

Global Nomads on the move it includes the short film MOVE, worth watching.
Libby Stephens explains what third culture kids are.
Children of the World: where are your roots?
Aga Magdolen's film "Les Passagers"
New book "Emotional Resilience and the expat child"by Julia Simens 

Do you have tips when moving with children? If you were a third culture kid, do you have memories of your moves? Any advice?

Global nomads on the move part 2

Recently I wrote a post Global Nomads on the Move but I just felt that there was more to say about this topic so today I am writing part 2. It's all about moving internationally with children. Sometimes when I talk to parents about the experience of their kids moving around the globe I get this "knot in my stomach" feeling. The parents talk about the numerous moves as if it is as easy as getting up in the morning. Moving has become an "everyday" thing. For children moving is a major thing. Needless to say that an international move has even more impact.

I am developing an allergy to the superficial and colourful advertizing done by relocation companies and other companies sending expats abroad. You know it is true that having kids does not mean you cannot move overseas but it does mean it makes everything a lot more complicated.

Moving abroad alone means:

• packing x 1
• homesickness x 1
• culture shock x 1
• adjusting x 1
• trouble x 1

Moving abroad with a family of 5 (2 parents and 3 kids) means:

• packing x 5
• homesickness x 5
• culture shock x 5
• adjusting x 5
• trouble x 5

Of course it is an adventure too but the problem is the children do not get to choose whether they want to move. They are at the hard end of the deal. There is a Dutch book called "Ik heb het niet Bedacht" by Marjanne Simons. Translating the title would be something like "It was not my idea". I like that title.

Thanks to Lisa Solonynko Morgue File

Children might be angry about the move. They might rant and rave. They might be sad about it. Moving has a great impact on the life of a child. I have a few suggestions for parents.

Please:

1. Try to take a look at the move from the kid's perspective.
2. Take your child seriously.
3. Listen to what they are saying about the move.
4. Don't ignore their questions. Try to answer them honestly.
5. Don't ignore their emotions. Acknowledge their feelings.
6. Make a memorial box (maybe a shoebox). Together with your child put in small treasures, special objects, photos, things that bring back memories of the old home, of friends and family. Take the box with you.
7. Make time for the children during and after the move. Kids need a little extra attention if possible.

Thanks to Cohdra Morgue file

You can read more tips for moving overseas with kids here. Helen Maffini has written a children's book: Sammy's Next Move, it is all about Sammy the Snail moving to a new country. Reading this book with your child is a good way to prepare them for the move ahead.Would you like to read a book review of this book by Wordgeyser? Jo Parfitt recently interviewed Helen Maffini on the Writer's Abroad Radio show on how Helen produced this book totally online, just in case you are interested.


Moving internationally with children has become easier, do think of the kids before, during and after the move. What are your ideas on moving internationally with children?

'Ik Heb Het Niet Bedacht' kinderboek van Marjanne Simons

Het boek 'Ik heb het niet bedacht...' van Marjanne Simons is geschreven voor kinderen die met hun ouders verhuizen naar een ander land. Het is geschreven voor kinderen vanaf 10 jaar. Het boek is in 2009 uitgegeven door Van Dorp Educatief en is ook in digitale vorm beschikbaar. Het boek bleek hier te leen in bij mijn lokale bibliotheek hier in Nederland.

De schrijfster Marjanne Simons (ATCK) woonde jarenlang in het buitenland, eerst als kind, later gaf ze voorlichting aan ouders die met hun kinderen verhuizen naar een ander land. Zij is medeauteur van boeken als 'Opgroeien in het buitenland' en 'Terug naar Nederland'.

In het boek staan de verhalen van 6 kinderen die in verschillende landen wonen. David moet naar Griekenland verhuizen maar hij heeft er helemaal geen zin in. Eline is net nieuw begonnen op een internationale school in China. Mariska woont in een internaat en haar ouders wonen in Malawi. Frank woont in Nicaragua en krijgt bezoek uit Nederland. Karel woont in Portugal. Het verhaal van Karen speelt zich af in Nederland, zij is net verhuisd vanuit Kenia en alles is nieuw en onbekend voor haar in Nederland.

Het leuke van het boek is dat er allerlei verschillende onderwerpen in de verhalen naar voren komen: de nieuwe start op een internationale school als je de taal niet kent, bezoek uit Nederland ontvangen, de terugkeer naar Nederland, het missen van vrienden, per email contact houden, het leren van een nieuwe taal en nog veel meer.

Ik heb zelf mij lagere school in Malawi gedaan. Gelukkig kon ik naar een internationale school en zat ik niet op een internaat zoals Mariska. Het leuke is dat het verhaaltje wel herkenbaar is. Wij gingen ook vaak naar het meer van Malawi op vakantie. Ik ben ook in Likoma, Zomba plateau en Monkey Bay geweest. Fanta dronken wij ook!

Het boek is een goede voorbereiding voor kinderen die gaan vertrekken naar het buitenland. Ook is het een leuk kadootje voor kinderen die al in het buitenland wonen. Voor kinderen is her erg goed om te ontdekken dat ze niet de enige zijn in de situatie waarin zij zitten. Natuurlijk komt het thema 'ik heb het niet bedacht' aan de orde, iets wat ook vaak speelt als kinderen verhuizen binnen de grenzen van een land.

Hier zijn meer boekentips van mij. Lees ook mijn blog bericht over verhuizen met kinderen.

Lees ook Global nomads on the Move and Global Nomads on the Move Part 2.

Wie heeft er meer tips om kinderen te helpen met een verhuizing naar het buitenland? Ik hoor het graag.