Is your child having difficulty learning the new language?

As you probably know I grew up bilingually in Africa. We spoke Dutch at home and we spoke English at school and where ever else we went to. I'm really happy that my parents made the effort to raise us in bilingually. You can read more about it in a post I wrote recently Bilingualism and growing up Abroad.

I have just finished reading the book called "Adios Holanda!"by Anita Schmidt. It's all about how she and her husband leave the Netherlands with their three daughters and move to Spain to start a new life there. The book is in Dutch by the way.

I am very interested in the effect of international moves on families and particularly the effect the move has on the children. I enjoy reading books on this topic.

Their eldest daughter Nienke (a real Dutch name) was 5 years old when the family moved to Spain. Here in the Netherlands she went to school, had her own friends, spoke Dutch fluently and had her own "afspraakjes" play dates. After moving she was immersed in the local Spanish school, they had Spanish neighbours and as a family they adjusted to the Spanish lifestyle. She was the only Dutch girl attending this local school at the time. So she was immersed in Spanish during the school day.

After a couple of weeks the mum discovered that Nienke did not say a word at school. She did not open her mouth. She was scared to make mistakes. She was scared that the other kids would make fun of her. It actually took 6 months before she started speaking at school. During this time Nienke also started to wet her bed during the night again. Now mum was really worried. 

Each child handles stress and change differently. This situation was not only stressful for the family but very stressful for Nienke too. She was experiencing language shock. It's when the stress gets in the way of the language learning. I came across this article: Is your child experiencing language shock? 5 things you should know about language shock.

6 Things to consider when your child is not speaking the new language:

1. Do not condemn your child because they are not speaking the language yet.
2. Try to be relaxed about the fact that your child is not yet speaking the new language.
3. Talk to the teacher and ask advice.
4. Realize that this new situation is very stressful for your child, give him or her some extra hugs and have more time together.
5. Remember that in the end most children do pick up the new language, but it takes some time.
6. Seek professional help if necessary.

Here's an article with 6 Ways to help your child succeed when they are struggling to learn the new language. It is written for children in the U.S. but it is useful.

What's your experience? Did your children have difficulty learning a new language? Do you have tips?

Related posts:

• Language links for raising Multilingual children
• The Best gift you can give your child
• Third Culture Kids Learning their mother tongue
• Expat raising Trilingual Kids in the Netherlands

Global nomads on the move part 2

Recently I wrote a post Global Nomads on the Move but I just felt that there was more to say about this topic so today I am writing part 2. It's all about moving internationally with children. Sometimes when I talk to parents about the experience of their kids moving around the globe I get this "knot in my stomach" feeling. The parents talk about the numerous moves as if it is as easy as getting up in the morning. Moving has become an "everyday" thing. For children moving is a major thing. Needless to say that an international move has even more impact.

I am developing an allergy to the superficial and colourful advertizing done by relocation companies and other companies sending expats abroad. You know it is true that having kids does not mean you cannot move overseas but it does mean it makes everything a lot more complicated.

Moving abroad alone means:

• packing x 1
• homesickness x 1
• culture shock x 1
• adjusting x 1
• trouble x 1

Moving abroad with a family of 5 (2 parents and 3 kids) means:

• packing x 5
• homesickness x 5
• culture shock x 5
• adjusting x 5
• trouble x 5

Of course it is an adventure too but the problem is the children do not get to choose whether they want to move. They are at the hard end of the deal. There is a Dutch book called "Ik heb het niet Bedacht" by Marjanne Simons. Translating the title would be something like "It was not my idea". I like that title.

Thanks to Lisa Solonynko Morgue File

Children might be angry about the move. They might rant and rave. They might be sad about it. Moving has a great impact on the life of a child. I have a few suggestions for parents.

Please:

1. Try to take a look at the move from the kid's perspective.
2. Take your child seriously.
3. Listen to what they are saying about the move.
4. Don't ignore their questions. Try to answer them honestly.
5. Don't ignore their emotions. Acknowledge their feelings.
6. Make a memorial box (maybe a shoebox). Together with your child put in small treasures, special objects, photos, things that bring back memories of the old home, of friends and family. Take the box with you.
7. Make time for the children during and after the move. Kids need a little extra attention if possible.

Thanks to Cohdra Morgue file

You can read more tips for moving overseas with kids here. Helen Maffini has written a children's book: Sammy's Next Move, it is all about Sammy the Snail moving to a new country. Reading this book with your child is a good way to prepare them for the move ahead.Would you like to read a book review of this book by Wordgeyser? Jo Parfitt recently interviewed Helen Maffini on the Writer's Abroad Radio show on how Helen produced this book totally online, just in case you are interested.


Moving internationally with children has become easier, do think of the kids before, during and after the move. What are your ideas on moving internationally with children?

Verhuizen met kinderen

Verhuizen is een ingrijpende gebeurtenis voor een kind. Dat is het al als je in van de ene wijk naar de andere wijk gaat verhuizen in dezelfde stad, laat staan naar een land aan de andere kant van de wereld waar er ook nog een nieuwe taal gesproken wordt.

Helen Maffini is een adult third culture kind (ATCK). Zij heeft in haar tienertijd in Japan gewoond. Inmiddels heeft zij in 11 landen van de wereld gewoond Canada, UK, Frankrijk, Hong Kong, Japan, Singapore, Indonesië, Bahrain, UAE, Italië and Australië (woont ze nu). Ervaringsdeskindige is ze. Zij geeft op haar site adviezen bij een verhuizing naar het buitenland. Zij heeft ook een Engelstalig boekje geschreven Sammy's Next Move. Sammy is een slak die natuurlijk zijn huisje op zijn rug heeft en bij een verhuizing kan Sammy zo alles meenemen. Sammy maakt zich zorgen over het nieuwe land en of hij wel nieuwe vrienden zal maken. Door zo'n soort boekje met kinderen te lezen ben je bezig om je kind voor te bereiden op de verhuizing.

Voor kinderen van 10 jaar en ouder die Nederlands kunnen lezen is er het boek "Ik Heb Het Niet Bedacht" geschreven door Marjanne Simons. Kinderen moeten ook de ruimte krijgen om hun emoties te uiten. Het kan best zijn dat een kind boos is over de verhuizing, meestal is het ook niet hun idee. Praat er met elkaar over en laat het kind er ook even boos over zijn. Tevens is het erg belangrijk om goed afscheid te nemen.

Wees zo snel mogelijk open en eerlijk naar kinderen toe. Kinderen voelen haarfijn aan dat er een "verandering" in de lucht hangt. Geef kinderen duidelijkheid: wanneer gaan jullie verhuizen? Waar gaan jullie naar toe?

Meer lezen over verhuizen met kinderen: hier is een artikel van de Wereldomroep. Er is ook een boek Verhuizen met Kinderen geschreven door Christel Westgeest.

Hier zijn 10 tips om je snel thuis te voelen in het nieuwe land, ook erg belangrijk voor het hele gezin. Wat zijn jullie ervaringen met verhuizen?

Lees ook: tips voor als je terug naar Nederland verhuist.
Ik heb ook eerder geschreven over de terugkeer naar Nederland.