Book Review: B at Home, Emma Moves Again by Valérie Besanceney

To start with I would like to wish you all happy new year. I hope it will be a year that you and your children will thrive and be resilient. I hope to write more about resilience in another post. In case you are moving with children this year than the book B at Home, Emma Moves Again might be just the book you need.

Emma is 10 years old and has already moved twice. At the start of the book she lives in the Netherlands. In the book her parents tell her that the family is moving again. She has mixed emotions and turns to B, her faithful teddy bear. Together they make the move.
Children can identify with the girl in the story. It can help them to feel that they are not alone, that there are other children who have gone through the same things. It can help children give words to the emotions they are feeling.

There are discussion questions at the end of the book. Parents could use the questions to chat with their children about the upcoming move. An example of a question is: Emma and her friends talk about how certain smells bring back memories. What are some smells that bring back strong memories for you?

The author Valérie Besanceney was born in the Netherlands, grew up as a third culture kid, making several international moves as a child, she is an experienced international school teacher and is raising two TCK daughters. She definitely knows what she is talking about. In addition to the book B at Home Besanceney has created a workbook My Moving Booklet. This is a great tool for parents and schools to ease a transition for a child. The children can share their emotions and there is also lots of room for creativity.

I had the privilege of meeting Valérie at the Families in Global transition Conference in Amsterdam in 2016.

Have you or one of your children read the book B at Home, Emma Moves Again? Are there other books that you would recommend for kids making international moves? Please share them with us.

Related Posts:

• Book: Emotional Resilience and the Expat Child
• Book review of Expat Teens Talk
• Q and A with Tanya Crossman author of the book "Misunderstood"
• Interview with Heidi Sand-Hart author of the book Home Keeps Moving
• 10 Tips to help your child prepare for an international move

Preparing for the Families in Global Transition Conference 2016

At the moment I am preparing for the FIGT conference which will take place in March. It's the first time ever that this conference will take place in the Netherlands. It's the first time it will take place in Europe. It's the first time I will attend the conference and it's the first time I will be presenting at the conference. Very exciting! By the way the conference schedule is available and the presenter biographies. As you can see there are more than 50 presenters, I expect that they will represent all the corners of the world.

While preparing for my session I was searching the internet for new information on third culture kids. I found a nice short video made by teenager Alison. She's a third culture kid herself, she explains what it means, has done some research and she gives advice. It's worth watching.

She conducted a survey and it revealed that the TCKs find leaving friends and changing school the most difficult. It took them a couple a months to adjust to the new surrounding. She encourages TCKs to meet new people and learn the new language. Her last advice is: Stay open-minded and resilient and moving can enhance your life.

By the way I hope you are attending the Families in Global Transition Conference in Amsterdam too. Please let me know if you're coming so we can meet up. 

Related posts: 
My 10 advantages of growing up abroad
Interview with graphic design student Jessica Wen on her third culture kid book project
Interesting interview with researcher and adult third culture kid Rachel Cason 

Book Review: Slurping Soup and other Confusions

I wish this book had been available years ago when I was a child and our family moved around in Africa. This book is full of real life stories and activities to help third culture kids during transitions. Children related very differently to international moves than adults. This book helps parents get an insight in to how children experience leaving a country and discovering a new country.

The book Slurping Soup and other Confusions has been written by 6 authors, each with their own professional background and they are all parents of third culture kids. One of the authors: Ulrike Gemmer even grew abroad in Jamaica, Somalia, Indonesia, New Zealand and Zambia.

All the children of the authors contributed  their personal stories, artwork, pictures, and ideas for activities. So it's a book by third culture kids for third culture kids!

In one of the first chapters D'Arcy (aged 8) writes "My first year in Vietman was wierd". He says "the worst part about Hanoi was the bad smell outside our house where the taxis parked". The story continues and following this story there is an activity: the Wierdometer. The child is encouraged to write down things they find wierd in the new country.

In another chapter Sophie (aged 8) writes that she did not feel safe in Jakarta, Indonesia when her parents went out and left her with the nanny. She would cry a lot every time they went out. Discover why she did not feel safe and how Sophie and her parents found a solution that made Sophie feel safe! The activity is make your own backup plan.

Hafsah (aged 6) discovered she had missed her favourite aunt's wedding. How could she? Without me? The connected activity is that a child can write down what special event they had missed. Then they can circle the emotion that best fits the feelings they had, like angry, disappointed, sad, heartbroken, confused, lonely etc.

There are many different fun activities: like making a special collage, learning to count in 15 different languages, brainstorming ideas for keeping in touch with relatives, marking on the map of the world where you live and have lived and where you still want to go. The activities are suitable for 3 to 12 year olds.

The book is a collection of 23 true stories. The stories explore:  

• adapting to new environments
• Who am I? Where do I belong?
• Home and family adjustment
• Cultural differences
• Friendship change

This a great book for expat parents to use with kids while preparing to leave, during the move and while living abroad. It is a easy tool to use to talk with your child about the changes and all the things that are different in the new country. It makes it easier for parents to talk about the feelings involved with all the changes. No matter in which country you are moving to you should take it along with you.

Slurping Soup and Other Confusions by Maryam Afnan Ahmad, Cherie Emigh, Ulrike Gemmer, Bárbara Menezes, Kathryn Tonges and Lucinda Willshire. Available on Amazon or on www.slurpingsoup.com. There is a facebook page: Slurping Soup and other confusions too. Interested in a preview of the book? You find a sample here of 4 chapters (includes stories and activities).

Have you used the book? What are your experiences? Do you know of other good books on moving abroad and useful for kids?

Related Posts:

• Jo Parfitt talks to the authors of Slurping Soup and other confusions (Jo Parfitt)
• Expat parents: What are your kids really thinking? (Expat everyday support center)
• Book review of Expat Teens Talk
• Sharing New Third Culture Kid Links

Teenagers: the sky is the limit?

Wow! It's amazing, these two 17-year-olds from Toronto, Canada managed to launch a lego man 24 kilometers into the stratosphere. The whole enterprise cost them less than $500. They used a weather balloon, some cameras, determination, creativity and a certain mind set. They were thinking "out of the box". Well it certainly gave them "different" view of the world. A nice inspiring story.

You know third culture kid teens or expat teens are a little like these boys. They are often creative, can be determined and think out of the box. So what is it actually like to relocate across the globe with teens and how many kids are there out there making international moves. It's really hard to find the amount of kids moving. I did find some figures about the number of kids attending international schools.

At the moment there are more than 6000 English speaking international schools in the world. In 236 countries of the world (click here if you want to know in which countries) you can find an international school. There are 2.979.680 students attending these schools. Source: www.iscresearch.com. Most of the students attending these schools will be third culture kids or cross culture kids.

Here in the Netherlands there are 12.500 students attending international schools. Source Factsheet JGZ

4 tips when relocating internationally with teenagers:

1. The best time to move is at the beginning of the school year because that's when the groups are forming.
2. Include your teenagers in the preparation of the move. Take them with you to see the new country. Allow them to be part of choosing the new home and school etc.
3. Acknowledge their emotions. Maybe they are angry about the move or sad.
4. Consider taking the family pet along. Our dog made an overland move when we moved from Malawi to Zimbabwe. My dad drove our car from the one country to the next and took our dog along too. He had company on the road and we had our pet in our new home.

Do you want to read more about moving with teenagers? Check out www.Internationalfamilytransitions.com

This week I found an interesting blog: Expat Teens Talk. It's worth a visit. The blog gives insight into the life of an expat teen. Here is an example of a blog post: The positive aspects of being an expat teen. You know these teenagers are all over the globe even the sky is not the limit.

Do you have any tips when relocating with teenagers? I would love to hear them.

Related posts:

• Global Nomads on the Move
• Global Nomads on the Move part 2
• Third culture kids learning to be themselves
• Third culture kids going to university
• Children of the World: Where are your roots?

Image thanks to Taliesin Morguefile

Ontdekken dat je een "Third Culture Kid" bent.

Tegenwoordig zijn er steeds meer kinderen die opgroeien in andere culturen. Op mijn werk is er pas een collega vertrokken naar Australië met 3 kinderen. Een vriendin uit mijn studie tijd woont en werkt in Mexico met haar man en 3 kinderen. Andere bekenden zijn dit jaar vertrokken naar Peru met 4 kinderen. Het reizen gaat steeds makkelijker en door de mogelijkheden van internet lijken de internationale grenzen steeds meer te vervagen. Zelf ben ik geboren in Zambia en heb ik als kind in Malawi en Zimbabwe gewoond. Ik heb eerder al een blog geschreven: Waar kom je vandaan? Het gaat over mijn begin tijd hier in Nederland.

Doordat wij steeds meer en makkelijker internationaal verhuizen ben ik van mening dat het aantal kinderen dat buiten zijn of haar eigen paspoort land opgroeit alleen maar zal toenemen. Deze groep kinderen hebben de naam third culture kids gekregen. Ze hebben een deel van hun ontwikkelingsjaren doorgebracht in een andere cultuur (dus meestal in één of meer landen). Ik heb nog geen goede Nederlandse vertaling voor het woord third culture kids gevonden. Ze worden wel eens derde-cultuur-kinderen genoemd maar persoonlijk vind ik dat geen mooie term.

Laatst kwam ik een artikel tegen over de fases die je doormaakt bij het ontdekken dat je een third culture kid bent. Het spraak mij wel aan en ik zal het hier kort toelichten. Ik heb deze fases zelf ook doorgemaakt maar op dat moment had ik het zelf natuurlijk helemaal niet door. Meestal is het moment dat je ontdekt dat je een third culture kid bent ergens in je tienertijd of iets daarna.

1. De fase voordat je iets over third culture kids weet, onwetendheid

Ik heb veel fijne herinneringen aan deze tijd: kamperen in Zimbabwe, vuurtjes stoken tijdens het kamperen, mount Mulanje beklimmen in Malawi, zwemmen in het meer van Malawi, veel verschillende kinderen in mijn klas op de internationale school. Wij moesten wel regelmatig verhuizen en afscheid nemen maar dat deden de andere "expats" om ons heen ook. Het was dus normaal in mijn beleving. "Anders zijn" was ook normaal.
  
2. De ontdekking dat je een third culture kid bent

Dit gebeurde bij mij toen ik het boek "Growing up Among Worlds" van David Pollock en Ruth van Reken aan 't lezen was. Het was zo'n aha moment. Opeens begreep ik mijzelf beter. Opeens lag het niet aan mij, maar hadden de gevoelens die ik had, de eenzaamheid, het onzekerheid ook te maken met mijn verleden. Het had te maken met het opgroeien in andere culturen/landen. Ik kwam er achter dat ik niet de enige was die deze gevoelens had. Er waren meer third culture kids! Het was een gevoel van opluchting.
Ik werd mij ook meer bewust van de nadelen van het opgroeien in het buitenland.

3. Aanpassen aan je nieuwe identiteit

Ik werd mij meer bewust van de voordelen van het opgroeien in andere landen. Zie ook mijn eerder bericht over de 10 voordelen van het opgroeien in het buitenland. Ik ben gaan nadenken over hoe ik mijn culturele gevoeligheid meer zou kunnen gebruiken in mijn toekomst.

4. Het integreren van het "third culture kid" zijn in jezelf en verder gaan.

In deze fase ben je minder bezig met "het anders zijn", met je identiteit als third culture kid en nu begrijp je dat deze term ook niet alles verklaard. Het is de fase van accepteren en verder gaan. Zelf keuzes maken, vrede sluiten met je verleden en je heden. Niet zo naar de verschillen kijken maar naar de overeenkomsten tussen mensen.

Hey it's Johnny C heeft in het Engels over deze 4 fases van ontdekking geschreven.

Kijk hier naar een kort filmpje "Les Passagers" het gaat over third culture kids (TCKs).
Hier legt Libby Stephens in een korte video uit wat third culture kids precies zijn. Zij heeft al meer dan 25 jaar ervaring met het werken met TCKs.

Ik ben erg benieuwd of jullie deze fases herkennen? Hoe was het voor jou? Zou je hier op willen reageren? Heb je advies voor anderen?