What do you say to your Third Culture Kids?

A while ago I read a piece written by Rachel Pieh Jones and I just knew that I wanted to share it with you. Rachel lives in Djibouti and has raised her children there. I really like the very honest article she wrote: 15 things I want to tell my third culture kids. At the time her children were about to leave to boarding school, they have now left to university.

The quotes that struck me were "I cry for the choices we've made. And then I defend them with passion". 

The other quote that impressed me was: "I am sorry for the things life has taken from you. The names of all the friends you have said good-bye to are branded in my mind". 

Rachel realizes that she knows what it is like to parent TCKs but she has no idea what it is like to grow up abroad. As you probably know, I grew up abroad and I love the way Rachel tries to understand what it is like for her children and for other kids. A few years ago she hosted a whole guest post series on her blog on third culture kids. She has now made a compilation of these essays, updated the information, added interviews and practical tips and has made it into an ebook.Finding Home. I was privileged to contribute to the series too. I wrote on transitioning globally to university. Many different authors contributed to the ebook: Ruth van Reken, Marilyn Gardner, Mary Bassey, Ma Donna Maurer, Clara Wiggins and Ute Limacher just to name a few.

One of the 5 star reviews said:
"This collection of essays was both relatable and eye opening. As a third culture kid, there was a lot for me to learn and think about after reading each essay. Highly recommended if you want to better understand people who don’t belong in one culture, or if you don’t!"

I would really like to hear what you could say to your third culture kids. One of the things my parents said was that we should dare to be different. Well growing up in Africa I was different, with my blue eyes and blond hair. I actually found it difficult when I was the same as all the other children. I was twelve years old and as a family we spent a couple of months in The Netherlands. I went to form one, but it was a shock to discover that there were three other girls in my class with the same name as I have. I was used to "Janneke" being a really special name, often people had difficulty pronouncing my name. But in the Netherlands "Janneke" is a very common name, especially at that time. There is even a book named Jip and Janneke, Two Kids From Holland. So at the time I had to adjust to the fact that my name was not special at all and even though I looked like the other Dutch girls I was actually different due to growing up in Africa.

What do you say to your third culture kids? 

Related posts:

• My 10 Tips to Prepare your child for an International Move
• 5 Things you Need to Know When Moving Kids Abroad by Lois Bushing
• Grandparenting over the Seas by Libby Stephens

PS. Have you heard that the next Families in Global Transition Conference in 2019 will take place in Thailand? From April 26 - 28.

Happy New Year and there is still time to register for early bird rate for Families in Global Transition Conference 2018

I want to wish you all a happy new year! I have some dreams that I hope will come true in 2018 and I hope you have dreams too for this year. Today is Epiphany, Three Kings' Day. I was in Gent, Belgium this week and discovered Three Kings' cake in a bakery. I had never seen it before. Apparently there are quite a few countries where they have the tradition of Three Kings' Cake. In French it is called galette des rois. If you want to know more, then here are 5 facts about Kings' Cake. I really like discovering new things! See the image for the cake I discovered.

This year the Families in Global Transition Conference will take place in the Hague, the Netherlands again from 8-10 March 2018. It is still possible to register for the early bird rate, you have until the 15th of January 2018! The theme of the conference is: Diverse Voices, celebrating the past, present, and future of globally mobile lives. An adult third culture kid recently asked me if the conference was suitable for adult third culture kids living in their passport cultures, well I would say it is. What I noticed is that everyone at the conference has a unique story, just like I have and you have, and there is room for each story to be told. There are many expats, third culture kids, organizations involved with expats and their children at the conference. At this moment in time there are registrations from more than 31 countries, so it is a truly international conference. If you live in the Netherlands then it is your chance to join the conference. The venue of the next conference will probably be is Asia. Will we see you at the conference?

No idea what to expect? Lucille, an expat mum and storyteller shares her experience of attending the FIGT conference in 2017.

Amy Clare Tasker shares her experiences of giving a workshop at FIGT 2017. The funny thing is that those are my words "Home is where the radishes grow" and I am the blond person on the floor depicting "Home is where the radishes grow".

More news:
New edition of Third Culture Kids Growing up Among Worlds available (Third Edition 2017)

By the way have you ever eaten a Three Kings' cake? Is it a tradition you celebrate? Can you tell us more about the tradition?

Where are the male expat or third culture kid voices?

Recently I heard that the Families in Global Transition conference in 2018 will be held in the Netherlands again. This is good news because if it is so near to home there is more chance that I will be able to attend. At the 2017 conference we heard that the next conference would be in Asia, which meant attending would be more of a challenge for me. The FIGT conference will be held in the Hague, the Netherlands from the 8th to the 10th of March 2018, mark your calenders and maybe we can meet up there. It will be the 20th anniversary next year so it promises to be a great conference. The theme of the conference is Diverse voices celebrating the past, present, and future of globally mobile lives. If you want to submit a proposal it is due before 15th september 2017. First time conference attendees can apply for a Pollock Scholarship, check this link for more information.

On the FIGT website I saw this: The guiding question when considering the applications is, "Who is missing at the FIGT table?"  They are looking for a diverse field of applicants from each of our traditional sectors, (including corporate, diplomatic, academic, military, mission, arts and entrepreneurial) plus voices not well represented, such as those involved in immigration and refugee work, an increase in male voices, and participants from all parts of the globe.

I noticed that the FIGT organizers want an increase voices not well represented including an increase in male voices. While searching the internet this week I noticed two stories both by (adult) third culture kid males so I do want to share these stories. The first story is by Chris Aslan. Chris was born in Turkey, lived in Lebanon and returned to the UK for schooling. He later lived in Uzbekistan, Tajikistan and Kyrgyzstan. His whole story "Both and Neither: Exploring my Third Culture Kid Identity" can be read here. He writes about feeling in between cultures and not really belonging to either. I like his conclusion. 

"There have been times when I’ve felt a stranger in both cultures, but gradually I’ve learnt to feel at home in both. I’ve discovered that I’m a pretty good bridge that others can use to walk along to have their horizons broadened and to meet people they might not otherwise have met. I’m letting my character and values to be shaped by the best of both cultures. It’s not always as comfortable as being one thing or another, but embracing the concept of ‘both’ is really good, and that’s better than being comfortable."

Marilyn Gardner writes the same in her Thoughts on Entry, Reentry and Third Culture Kids. She says that as third culture kids we should accept that we are a combination of worlds. 

Joshua tells us his own story. He now lives in Suriname but he grew up in many different countries: Egypt, Singapore, and China. He tells about the culture shock he had when he moved to China. He shares what he learnt by growing up abroad. Please listen to his story,  it will take you less than 6 minutes.

Thank you Chris and Joshua for sharing your stories. Will you consider joining us at the Families in Global Transition Conference this March here in the Netherlands? We want to hear more male third culture kid stories. Please let us hear your voices. Come and join us. Do you know male third culture kids or are you one? Let's hear your voice.

Related Posts:

• Cultural identity Confusion
• Interview with Rachel Cason on her research on third culture kids: identity, belonging and relationship to place.
• Interesting post TCK Talent: Where am I from? on the website DisplacedNation.com
• Chris Aslan's website, he is an author and adult third culture kid
• Podcast with Michelle Phoenix on Third Culture Kids - The Forgotten Missionary Kids, and about her new book "Stillness and Storm"

Families in Global Transition Conference starting 23rd March 2017 in Den Haag

The Families in Global Transition Conference is starting tomorrow in Den Haag, the Netherlands. For years the conference took place in America. This is the second year in a row that the conference will be in the Netherlands. What a priviledge that the conference is close to home for me.

Conference Theme is: Building on the Basics: Creating Your Tribe on the Move.

I will be giving an Ignite presentation on Friday afternoon, you can see the other presenters and their topics here. An Ignite presentation is a short presentation of 6 minutes and 40 seconds. You have 20 slides and 20 seconds per slide, the slides are forwarded automatically. I have never given an Ignite presentation before. I have been told that you need to practice a presentation like this many times so that's what I am doing at the moment. I hope the saying is true that "practice makes perfect".

Here's the list of the topics of the Ignite presentations:

• Exploring the ‘Why’, the ‘How’ and the ‘Who’ of Muslim Expatriates

• The Power of Team Sport to Create a Diverse Tribe       

• How a TCK English Teacher in a Hungarian Village Created a Globally Local Network 

• Childhood Losses, TCKs, and Identity Development  

• Finding Joy and Abundance as an Expat - Planning For Your Fulfilled Life Abroad

• Finding Your Voice, Your Tribe and Hearing Other Voices Through Blogging

I will be speaking about how I found my voice through this blog and how I heard your voices.
If you are not coming to the conference but you are interested in what is going on at the conference you can follow the hashtag #FIGT17NL 

Want to know how to give an Ignite presentation? Emma McCathy gives advice here.
Her Ignite talk last year at the FIGT conference was on Building a Global Village.


I am a little nervous for my first Ignite presentation ever, but I am also looking forward to what the conference will bring us this year. I would love to know what the Families in Global transition Conference means to you. What does the conference mean to you?

Update April 2017: Terry Ann Wilson wrote a lovely post all about the Ignite presentations.

Related posts:

• Best read post: Interview with Graphic Design student Jessica Wen
• Cultural Identity Confusion and Third Culture Kids
• 10 Tips to Help Prepare your child for an international move
• Q & A with Tanya Crossman author of the book Misunderstood

Starting a Third Culture Kid Society at University

In my last post I let you know that I was preparing for the Families in Global Transition Conference (FIGT). Well the conference has taken place in Amsterdam. It was the first time ever that the conference took place in Europe. How exciting! By the way the FIGT conference will take place in the Netherlands again in 2017, maybe you can join us?

There is so much I could say about the conference but I just want to start by telling you about a session I 

attended in which two university students told us how and why they started a third culture kids society at Bristol university. We had the privilege of having both co-presidents Dalia Abuyasin and Anna Skoulikari from the Third Culture Kid Society of Bristol University tell their story.

On the TCK society Facebook page they start with a definition of a third culture kid: A Third Culture Kid is defined as 'a young person who has spent a significant amount of time in their developmental years outside of their family's country of origin'. Often people that identify as third culture kids reply to the question "where are you from?" with "it's complicated". 

The TCK social society is a place to meet, connect and share unforgettable experiences with others. It is a place that is open to anyone and everyone interested in spending time in an international environment. You do not have to a third culture kid to join the society. The society was started by Dalia and Anna. They had no idea how many others students would be interested or had lived abroad for a certain amount of time. Now there is a thriving TCK society in Bristol. They even had short videos so we could hear from them members what it was like to transition to university.

It is even more interesting to hear the members tell about what the third culture kid society has meant to them. They did not need to explain things. It felt so familiar. It felt like "home". This is a short video of about 3 minutes. Listen to what the students say:

Dalia and Anna explained to us that they want to encourage other students to start TCK societies at their universities. They want to develop a toolbox to help you and make it even easier to start a group too. It would be really great if they manage to develop a toolbox.

As you might know I transitioned from Zimbabwe to the Netherlands when I was 19 to go to university. It was a very difficult transition. On the MaDonna's Raising TCKs blog I wrote about leaving the African "nest". I hope third culture kids these days have easier transitions to university or college! As you can understand this is a topic I am really interested in. A while ago I wrote a post on 10 tips to transition well to university (specially for TCKs and their parents). I wish there had been a TCK society like this one at the university I went to years ago, it would have made my transition easier.

Did you transition globally to university or college? What was it like? Do you know of other universities with groups specially for third culture kids? Please share them here. By the way I just discovered that the University of Leeds is international and have a third culture kids society.

Related Posts:

• Help another third culture kid is going to university
• Third Culture kids going to university
• University counselors be curious about their upbringing
• The book: A Global Nomad's Guide to university transition by Tina Quick
• 10 Things every global nomad needs to know before leaving for university (international family transitions)

Preparing for the Families in Global Transition Conference 2016

At the moment I am preparing for the FIGT conference which will take place in March. It's the first time ever that this conference will take place in the Netherlands. It's the first time it will take place in Europe. It's the first time I will attend the conference and it's the first time I will be presenting at the conference. Very exciting! By the way the conference schedule is available and the presenter biographies. As you can see there are more than 50 presenters, I expect that they will represent all the corners of the world.

While preparing for my session I was searching the internet for new information on third culture kids. I found a nice short video made by teenager Alison. She's a third culture kid herself, she explains what it means, has done some research and she gives advice. It's worth watching.

She conducted a survey and it revealed that the TCKs find leaving friends and changing school the most difficult. It took them a couple a months to adjust to the new surrounding. She encourages TCKs to meet new people and learn the new language. Her last advice is: Stay open-minded and resilient and moving can enhance your life.

By the way I hope you are attending the Families in Global Transition Conference in Amsterdam too. Please let me know if you're coming so we can meet up. 

Related posts: 
My 10 advantages of growing up abroad
Interview with graphic design student Jessica Wen on her third culture kid book project
Interesting interview with researcher and adult third culture kid Rachel Cason 

Families in Global Transition Conference 2016 will take place for the first time ever in Holland!

Maybe you have heard the good news: the Families in Global Transition (FIGT) Conference will take place in the Netherlands next year. The conference is from the 10th of March to the 12th of March 2016 in Amsterdam. For the past 2 years I have been wanting to attend this conference but the conference was in Washington, USA. I had to take days off from work, fly to America and I just was not able to arrange it. I am so excited that the conference has moved to Europe, and even better it has moved to the Netherlands, Amsterdam to be exact. Now I can take the train and attend! If you want to attend the conference and save money make sure you register before 4th January 2016.

By the way the theme of the conference is "Moving Across Cultures: Bringing Empathy and Expertise to the Evolving Global Family". I like the word empathy.

What does empathy do according to the Greater Good Science Center? Empathy:

• reduces prejudice and racism

• reduces bullying

• promotes heroic acts

• fights inequality

• is good for healthcare

• cuts against self-interest, people with empathy are more likely to help people in need

Wow that sounds very promising! Then add all the expertise in too and it is a recipe for success.I have heard that the author of the book "Global Mom" Melissa Dalton-Bradford will be one of the keynote speakers. She is a mother of 4, a writer of books, essays, poetry and a blog. As a family they have lived in 10 countries. She has also written the book "On loss & Living Onward", I think I have to read one of her books before the conference. You can see the trailer of the book "Global Mom" here.

The conference will take place at De Bazel Cafe & Conference Centre, Vijzelstraat 32 in

Beautiful Holland photo by DrieCulturen

Amsterdam.

Good things seem to happen at FIGT conferences. Killian Kröll, the current chair of the FIGT board grew up as a third culture kid (TCK). He was unaware of the impact of his upbringing. During a seminar he first heard the term TCK. That moment changed his life and he found his tribe. 2011 was the first FIGT conference he attended and then he was really sure that he had found his tribe. Read more of Killian's story and the FIGT conference 2015 as written by Lauren Owen.

Just in case you have not heard of Families in Global Transitions, you can visit the FIGT website for more information. The first FIGT conference was held in 1998 and Ruth van Reken the coauthor of the book "Third Culture Kids Growing up Among Worlds" was one of the initiators.

Related posts:

• Interview with Doug Ota Keynote speaker FIGT15 (Figt blog) 
• Interview with Rachel Cason, researcher and adult TCK 
• Providing children with tools to tell their stories 
• Leaving the African "nest" my guestblog on Madonna's blog Raising TCKs

International Third Culture Kid Events in 2013

It's always good to look ahead when a new year starts. Last year finished with a book giveaway here on the blog. The interesting thing was that a Dutch TCK living in Norway won the book and it turns out that our parents know each other from the time they lived in Zambia and Malawi. It's a small world after all.
I see that there are some interesting international conferences coming up. These are the ones I have come across.

1. EuroTCK 2013 25th - 29th April 2013 is a conference in Germany for all people with a heart for Third Culture Kids, whether you have TCK responsibility within your mission, organisation or church, whether you are a dorm parent, teacher, re-entry camp staffer or provide any form of TCK Care. Adult TCKs not involved with any organisation are also welcome. Guest speaker will be Ruth van Reken.
2. Nacada International Conference 2013 Enhancing Student Success: A Global Perspective 5 - 7th June 2013 in Maastricht, the Netherlands. The aim of this conference is to explore the ways in which personal tutoring, academic advising and other forms of institutional student support and guidance contribute to improving student success in higher education. More than ever before and across the globe there is a growing recognition for the crucial role institutional support such as academic advising, personal tutoring, and career services play in promoting all these aspects of student success.
3. Children Migrants & 3rd Culture Kids International Conference 2013: Roots and Routes. 7 - 9 th June 2013 in Kraków, Poland. During the conference the experiences will be analyzed of children who have spent a significant part of their childhood and/or youth in other country than their parents’ country of origin. They hope that the analysis and discussions will also result in identifying the ways of helping those, for whom migration has been a difficult or traumatic experience. There's a call for papers too they can be submitted before the 1st of March 2013.
4. Families in Global Transition 2013 22-23 rd March 2013 in Silver Spring, Maryland, USA. FIGT has, for over ten years, led the worldwide community in empowering families and those who serve them in global transition. FIGT is the premier advocate and educational resource for families, organizations and service providers. They build the global community by bringing together corporate, diplomatic, academic, the arts, military, missionary, and NGO sectors to share and develop leading edge research and concepts that address international relocation issues. The conference is all about families and third culture kids too.

Some more dates:
Transitioning to the USA this year? From 27th of July - 2nd August 2013 in Colorado, USA there is a transition seminar by Interaction International. This transition seminar is for adolescent third culture kids, if you want them not just to survive the transition but to thrive send them to a transition seminar. Research shows that the transition to the passport culture is the most difficult transition.

Global Connections in the UK have holiday camps for third culture kids in the UK in July and August 2013. There are camps for different ages (6-12 yrs, 8- 12 yrs, 13-18 yrs).

MK Focus have a missionary kids weekend from 27th - 29th September 2013 in Putten, the Netherlands.

Thanks to Sheryl 'O Bryan I can add some more information to this post. Sheryl works with third culture kids from all over the world.

In July 2013 there are 3 transition seminars for mission kids run by Barnabas International in California, Ohio and Oregon, USA.

From 3rd - 9th August 2013 there is a transition seminar in Littleton, CO, USA run by Sheryl 'O Bryan. Any third culture kid who is returning to the States or Canada to live and study is welcome to attend.    

Maybe you know of more conferences or TCK transition seminars? Please leave a comment with the details. Have you been to TCK conferences, weekends or transition seminars? What was it like? I wish there had been a transition seminar when I returned to the Netherlands but I will write about that another day.