Book Review: Slurping Soup and other Confusions

I wish this book had been available years ago when I was a child and our family moved around in Africa. This book is full of real life stories and activities to help third culture kids during transitions. Children related very differently to international moves than adults. This book helps parents get an insight in to how children experience leaving a country and discovering a new country.

The book Slurping Soup and other Confusions has been written by 6 authors, each with their own professional background and they are all parents of third culture kids. One of the authors: Ulrike Gemmer even grew abroad in Jamaica, Somalia, Indonesia, New Zealand and Zambia.

All the children of the authors contributed  their personal stories, artwork, pictures, and ideas for activities. So it's a book by third culture kids for third culture kids!

In one of the first chapters D'Arcy (aged 8) writes "My first year in Vietman was wierd". He says "the worst part about Hanoi was the bad smell outside our house where the taxis parked". The story continues and following this story there is an activity: the Wierdometer. The child is encouraged to write down things they find wierd in the new country.

In another chapter Sophie (aged 8) writes that she did not feel safe in Jakarta, Indonesia when her parents went out and left her with the nanny. She would cry a lot every time they went out. Discover why she did not feel safe and how Sophie and her parents found a solution that made Sophie feel safe! The activity is make your own backup plan.

Hafsah (aged 6) discovered she had missed her favourite aunt's wedding. How could she? Without me? The connected activity is that a child can write down what special event they had missed. Then they can circle the emotion that best fits the feelings they had, like angry, disappointed, sad, heartbroken, confused, lonely etc.

There are many different fun activities: like making a special collage, learning to count in 15 different languages, brainstorming ideas for keeping in touch with relatives, marking on the map of the world where you live and have lived and where you still want to go. The activities are suitable for 3 to 12 year olds.

The book is a collection of 23 true stories. The stories explore:  

• adapting to new environments
• Who am I? Where do I belong?
• Home and family adjustment
• Cultural differences
• Friendship change

This a great book for expat parents to use with kids while preparing to leave, during the move and while living abroad. It is a easy tool to use to talk with your child about the changes and all the things that are different in the new country. It makes it easier for parents to talk about the feelings involved with all the changes. No matter in which country you are moving to you should take it along with you.

Slurping Soup and Other Confusions by Maryam Afnan Ahmad, Cherie Emigh, Ulrike Gemmer, Bárbara Menezes, Kathryn Tonges and Lucinda Willshire. Available on Amazon or on www.slurpingsoup.com. There is a facebook page: Slurping Soup and other confusions too. Interested in a preview of the book? You find a sample here of 4 chapters (includes stories and activities).

Have you used the book? What are your experiences? Do you know of other good books on moving abroad and useful for kids?

Related Posts:

• Jo Parfitt talks to the authors of Slurping Soup and other confusions (Jo Parfitt)
• Expat parents: What are your kids really thinking? (Expat everyday support center)
• Book review of Expat Teens Talk
• Sharing New Third Culture Kid Links

Meet Sammy the snail, a third culture kid!

Here are some of Sammy's tips if you are moving overseas:

1.  Keep family traditions alive (like celebrating Sinterklaas?)
2. Bring soms familiar items from your home and put them in your new home.
3. Create a special album or a box with memories and add new things as you go along. Then when you look at it you can remember all the great times.
4. Stay in touch with old friends. Email is a good idea or you can also send a parcel.

Sammy hopes you have a great move! 

Do you want to know more about Sammy? In an earlier post called Global Nomads on the move part 2 I wrote about Helen Maffini's book called Sammy's Next Move. Helen was a third culture kid and she has lived and worked in 11 countries. Helen is a Canadian/British educational consultant who is currently living in Australia. 

Want to read more?

Global Nomads on the move it includes the short film MOVE, worth watching.
Libby Stephens explains what third culture kids are.
Children of the World: where are your roots?
Aga Magdolen's film "Les Passagers"
New book "Emotional Resilience and the expat child"by Julia Simens 

Do you have tips when moving with children? If you were a third culture kid, do you have memories of your moves? Any advice?

Global nomads on the move part 2

Recently I wrote a post Global Nomads on the Move but I just felt that there was more to say about this topic so today I am writing part 2. It's all about moving internationally with children. Sometimes when I talk to parents about the experience of their kids moving around the globe I get this "knot in my stomach" feeling. The parents talk about the numerous moves as if it is as easy as getting up in the morning. Moving has become an "everyday" thing. For children moving is a major thing. Needless to say that an international move has even more impact.

I am developing an allergy to the superficial and colourful advertizing done by relocation companies and other companies sending expats abroad. You know it is true that having kids does not mean you cannot move overseas but it does mean it makes everything a lot more complicated.

Moving abroad alone means:

• packing x 1
• homesickness x 1
• culture shock x 1
• adjusting x 1
• trouble x 1

Moving abroad with a family of 5 (2 parents and 3 kids) means:

• packing x 5
• homesickness x 5
• culture shock x 5
• adjusting x 5
• trouble x 5

Of course it is an adventure too but the problem is the children do not get to choose whether they want to move. They are at the hard end of the deal. There is a Dutch book called "Ik heb het niet Bedacht" by Marjanne Simons. Translating the title would be something like "It was not my idea". I like that title.

Thanks to Lisa Solonynko Morgue File

Children might be angry about the move. They might rant and rave. They might be sad about it. Moving has a great impact on the life of a child. I have a few suggestions for parents.

Please:

1. Try to take a look at the move from the kid's perspective.
2. Take your child seriously.
3. Listen to what they are saying about the move.
4. Don't ignore their questions. Try to answer them honestly.
5. Don't ignore their emotions. Acknowledge their feelings.
6. Make a memorial box (maybe a shoebox). Together with your child put in small treasures, special objects, photos, things that bring back memories of the old home, of friends and family. Take the box with you.
7. Make time for the children during and after the move. Kids need a little extra attention if possible.

Thanks to Cohdra Morgue file

You can read more tips for moving overseas with kids here. Helen Maffini has written a children's book: Sammy's Next Move, it is all about Sammy the Snail moving to a new country. Reading this book with your child is a good way to prepare them for the move ahead.Would you like to read a book review of this book by Wordgeyser? Jo Parfitt recently interviewed Helen Maffini on the Writer's Abroad Radio show on how Helen produced this book totally online, just in case you are interested.


Moving internationally with children has become easier, do think of the kids before, during and after the move. What are your ideas on moving internationally with children?