"Moving never easy, yet inevitable"

In September I wrote a blog using the "Where I'm from" template. I challenged you to share with us where you are from. So first Lucia Bodeman accepted the challenge, so did my sister and now it's Natasja's turn. Thank you to these brave ladies. If you're interested you can find the template here. So now it's over to Natasja:

Where I'm from

I am from the peaceful green grasslands amongst the hills, from Chappies (bubble gum), home schooling and hutspot*.
I am from a zinc roof house, tall eucalyptus trees and log wood fires to warm the house.
I am from climbing guava trees, purple bougainvillea and the lovely sights of elephants bathing in the Chobe river.
I am from Blue Airmail envelopes that brought family a little closer, red dust roads, from the most beautiful sunsets ever seen.
I am from Sunday school, death celebrations, juju. Burned corn and fufu.
I am from Cameroon, Botswana and The Netherlands. Moving never easy, yet inevitable.
I am from Sinterklaas, hagelslag** and drop***. From tulips, clogs and oliebollen. From seasons never changing, always hot and dry.
I am from Christmas trees made out of pine wood branches and hand made decorations, home made bread and custard for breakfast.
I am from a place I never belonged and one I never fit into.
I am from fragments, neither here nor there.
I am from all the places I left behind.

* hutspot is a typical Dutch dish that is traditionally eaten in the winter. The dish is made out of potatoes, carrots, onions and more
** hagelslag: chocolate sprinklers
*** drop: liquorish

Thank you Natasja. For people (like me) who grew up in different countries or cultures it can be healing to write about it. In writing you can actually join all the fragments and make a whole. Join all the pieces. Bind all the dots and make something beautiful. Have you written about your experiences? If you want to share your story with us you can send me an email.

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Guavas photo from Morguefile

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Cultural Identity Confusion and Third Culture Kids
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Counselors: be curious about their upbringing...third culture kids

Once again I found an interesting article online: "Identity, mobility and marginality: counseling third culture kids in college" by Dana Leigh Downey, University of Texas at Austin. The article mentions that it is estimated that over 4 million Americans live abroad, with over 37,000 matriculating into U.S. universities each year. Our societies are becoming more and more global. Third culture kids "experience a collision of cultures and form hybrid identities in the course of their development".

I am really interested in getting to know how many Dutch third culture kids transition from abroad to Dutch universities. Can anyone help me out? Do you know the figures? Years ago I was a third culture kid moving from Zimbabwe to the Netherlands to study. I had not heard of the term "third culture kid", I had no idea what challenges I would face, I did not know that I was a "hidden immigrant". There was no extra help from the university, no extra language help, no extra support. I was not even identified as coming from abroad.

Gaw* (2007) says that re-entry is often more challenging and unsettling than initial culture shock, affecting academic, social and psychological functioning. As with other non majority groups TCKs are less likely to seek support services on campus. "The non-linear background of the TCK does not fit the mold of the average intake form." There's a good idea here: Downey suggests that counseling centres may consider adding questions to their surveys or intake forms: before the age of 18 I lived in more than one country/culture. A question like this would help identify third culture kids. It is only worth identifying TCKs if there are people who are equipped to help them. According to Downey counselors must extend:

• support
• validation
• encouragement
• along with cultural compentence
• and intercultural understanding

in order to assist third culture kids experiencing re-entry culture shock. That sounds too good to be true.

Gaw cautions mental health practitioners to be aware of possible misdiagnosis or incorrect clinical procedures that may result from:

1. misunderstanding this population
2. not accepting or validating this population
3. assuming the TCK experience is transitory and something to grow out of
4. assuming the assessment tools and constructs normed with the majority population will be applicable.

Nina Sichel co-editor of the collections Writing Out of Limbo: International Childhoods, Global Nomads and Third Culture Kids (2011) and Unrooted Childhoods: Memoirs of Growing Up Global (2004) recently wrote an article called "The Trouble with Third Culture Kids"  on Children's Mental Health Network. "So when she(the TCK) comes to you, don’t ask her where she’s from, or what’s troubling her. Ask her where she’s lived. Ask her what she’s left behind. Open doors. And just listen. Give her the time and space and permission she needs to remember and to mourn. She has a story -- many stories. And she needs and deserves to be heard, and to be healed, and to be whole."

Soon colleges and universities will start their academic year and over 37,000 TCKs will return to America to further their education. An unknown number of TCKs will re-enter the Netherlands and many other countries. What will their experience be like? Will it be different to mine years ago? Will they be identified? Will they be helped by well-equipped counselors, and mental health practitioners that have experience working with third culture kids? What was your experience like when you went to college or university?

By the way there is a new useful book to help you prepare for your transition to university. It's the book "A Global Nomad's Guide to University Transition" by Tina Quick.

*Gaw, K.F. (2007) Mobility, Multiculturalism and Marginality: Counseling Third Culture Students. Special Populations in College Counseling: A Handbook for Mental Health Practitioners(63-76).

Related posts:

• Third Culture Kids and Going to University
• The Most Difficult Transition for Third Culture Kids
• Re-entry into your passport culture
• Third Culture Kids Learning to be themselves
• Cultural identity Confusion and third culture kids

Great twitter links on kids growing up in other cultures

Photo by Janneke @DrieCulturen Yummy Indonesian food!

So sorry that it has been quiet here on my blog. I have been on holiday and have been enjoying travelling abroad, just like most third culture kids do. Have you seen Aga Magdolen's film "Les Passagers"? A text in the film is:

"Before I learned to walk I already knew how to fly".

So flying is second nature to us. Airports can be a cause of excitement: the door to the rest of the world. This time I was in Indonesia. All my senses have been stimulated. There is so much to see, hear, smell, taste(!) and feel. When I am in other countries I feel "alive". It feels good.

I just wanted to let you know that I was asked to write a guest blog this week. If you would like to read it hop over to this blog Tales from Windmill fields. It's all about cultural identity confusion and third culture kids. This was my second guest blog. My first guest blog was on Expat Explorer and it's called "Where are you from?"

Here are some great twitter links just in case you missed them:

Good news for #TCKs in Europe! Ruth van Reken is coming to a Third culture kid conference April 2013 http://bit.ly/ym6WvN

"I can truly say that my experiences have given me the greatest gifts one could ever ask for" A third culture kid says http://bit.ly/x8vCR1 

Third culture kids being the hidden immigrants. Identify! http://bit.ly/xNVks5 

How to help kids deal with a move abroad... http://wp.me/p1J9Lk-VB

3 Important Factors to Consider When Raising a Bilingual Child http://bit.ly/y8TbFP

Great read! Musings on the meaning of the word "Home" in an article by former third culture kid http://bit.ly/zyz6d2  

Worth reading: "Pivotal journeys for third culture kids" http://bit.ly/AeaajD 

Third culture kids and the questions they get http://wp.me/pKKy1-ua

Having a Baby Abroad – #UAE http://is.gd/KoVma0

Having a Baby Abroad - Global Differences Series: #SCOTLAND http://is.gd/TrgayD  

I’m like a chameleon, tend to start talking like people I’m surrounded with. #TCKs & accents http://bit.ly/yH9z8B

Want to study #medicine in English in Europe? Check what the possibilities are for #globalnomads http://bit.ly/wr0Txs

Please add your link if you have news on third culture kids or anything that has to do with kids growing up in other cultures. Thanks.

Related posts:

• Great third culture kid information on the web
• Language Links for parents raising multilingual children
• Twitter update week 49
• Book Review of new book: Expat Teens Talk

Book review of the new book "Expat Teens Talk"

The book Expat Teens Talk has just been published and it is written by Lisa Pittman, a practicing psychologist and Diana Smit an educational therapist. It is forwarded by Ruth van Reken, co-author of the famous book "Third Culture kids, Growing up Among Worlds".

The power of the book is that it gives expat teens a voice.

"Being an expat teen is bittersweet; You're exposed to so many amazing people and places, but there are very few others who really understand what you have experienced".

"Moving around the world helps me to appreciate all the different cultures of the people I meet". 

"I find it difficult to constantly say goodbye"

The book is written for the teens, their parents and for professionals (teachers, therapists, doctors) too. As far as I know there is no book like this one available on this topic. The teenage years are considered to be the most challenging time in one's life and if during this time international moves are made it can be a confusing and difficult time. If the teenagers struggle it usually affects the whole family.

In the first part of the book there is advice from peers, parents and professionals on each subject. At the end of each chapter there is the possibility to write down personal reflections. The youngsters that give advice have been there and they know what other teenagers who move internationally go through. Being an expat teen you can often feel "the odd one out" (I know all about it), you think you're the only one not knowing how to behave (sticking out like a sore thumb), how to dress for a certain occasion or how to act. The great thing about this new book is that expat teens discover that they are not the only ones going through these transitions. They are not the only ones experiencing all these confusing emotions. That "aha" moment can help heal the pain of the teen's heart.

These subjects are tackled: the challenges of moving, sex, drugs and alcohol, stress and worry about school grades, and what happens after expat teen life. This is a down to earth, practical book. The authors have chosen to use the word "expat teens" but these teenagers can also be called third culture kids. I would have liked to see more internet links in the book. I think our expat teens are on the internet a great deal of the time and it would have added value to this book if there would have been more suggestions on where to find information on the internet. I wish this book had existed when I made my transitions during by teenage years.

If you are interested in reading more, you can read an interview with the authors of the book "Expat Teens Talk".
Find "Expat Teens Talk" on twitter @Expatteenstalk
Expat Teens Talk blog
Are you a teen and do you want to talk about your expat experience? You can fill a questionnaire in here. Number of pages: 183 pages
Published by Summertime Publishing

Related posts:

It can be lonely

• Teenagers the sky is the limit
• New book: Emotional Resilience and the expat child
• Top 10 countries for raising children abroad
• Third culture kids going to university 
• Cultural identity confusion and third culture kids

Image by Gladtobeout Morgue file