Highlights in 2014?

It's been a while since I wrote on this blog. 2015 is a new year and I hope to surprise you with more posts than in 2014. I only wrote twice last year so I am sure I can write more this year. Even though I do not write frequently it is good to know that there are still constant vistors finding this blog daily. Thank you all for coming by and reading on this blog I hope you found words that were helpful or useful.

I would like to update you on things that are happening in the third culture kid world. There is an interesting and very informative review on the Tckid website with a review of the many events that took place and new books that were published. It's worth reading the TCKid 2014 Year in Review.

Coming up soon is the Families in Global Transition Conference 2015 it is from 6-8 th of March in the USA. I wish it was here in Europe, it would much easier to attend. Hopefully one day I will attend the Figt conference. The theme this year is Finding "Home": Amidst Global Change. If you want to have an idea what the figt conference is like read an except of the soon to be published Figt year book. The except is on Cultural Complexity and Hidden Diversity: Exploring today's TCKs. Are any of you planning to go to the figt conference 2015? Do let us know and maybe you can share your most valuable insight here.

Recently I was asked whether there are meetups in the Netherlands for third culture kids or adult third culture kids. For those who are interested there is a facebook group called: TCKid Netherlands. There are plans to organize new meetups.

By the way one of my personal highlights in 2014 was visiting Havana, Cuba with a group of medical students. It was a great priviledge to meet the Cuban people and to see how the healthcare is organized. Maybe I will tell you more about this trip in another post. As an adult TCK I still like travelling, tasting new food, meeting new people and experiencing new cultures.

Havana Cuba, photo by DrieCulturen

What was your personal highlight in 2014?

Related posts: 

• Interview with a fellow third culture kid and author Heidi Sand-Hart
• My Ten Tips To survive and thrive in the Netherlands
• A Conversation with TCK and Author of B at Home Valerie Besanceney (uydmag)
• Caged Birds, Clipped wings and a current passport by Lois Bushong (Mango Tree Reflections)

Book review of the book "Expat Alien" by Kathleen Gamble

I am so happy that there are third culture kids out there writing books and telling us their story. Kathy Gamble not only grew up abroad but also followed suit. She married a Russian American, moved to Moscow and raised their son there. As an expat parent she raised their cross-cultural kid in Russia.

I met Kathy online through her blog Expat Alien. She has written her memoir "Expat Alien, My Global Adventures".

Her parents moved to Burma in the 1950's and that's where Kathy was born. Due to her father's job in Third World agriculture with the Ford Foundation the family moved to Mexico, Colombia and then to Nigeria. At thirteen years of age she goes to boarding school in Switzerland. She likes the school better than the one she attended in Texas for a while. In Switzerland "I felt like I could breathe" she writes. Kathy describes life at boarding school. The food was generally bad and you did not get to choose who you lived with.

While she was at boarding school in Europe she travelled the continent from Venice, Florence in Italy to Paris and London. She learned to ski in St Moritz. Actually wherever she was she travelled. "I used to run into people I knew a lot in airports and museums around the world".

The book gives insight into the life of a third culture kid. Kathy survived a plane crash, an earthquake and a military coup but to her her life was normal. It was only when she moved to California to start college that she discovered that the other girls didn't like her stories of her life abroad. They thought she was bragging or lying. Her first year was very difficult, she suffered from a "reverse" culture shock. I can really identify with this part of the book because my experience was very similar to Kathy's. I went to university in the Netherlands but had a similar experience. Kathy starts to wonder whether there is something wrong with her. During the years in America she never got over the feeling that she was different.

While living in Moscow, in her forties she discovers what global nomads are and that they are also called third culture kids. It was her "aha" moment, this was what she had been looking for. She says that she is not from anywhere. She is a third culture kid, from everywhere and nowhere.

The book is a great read for anyone who grew up globally or parents who are raising third culture kids. If you just enjoy travel and adventure stories then I am sure the book will appeal to you too.

Related Posts:
Interview with author Heidi Sand-Hart of "Home Keeps Moving"
Book review of Expat Teens Talk
New mentoring Program for Expat Teens
Book review of the Globalisation of Love by Wendy Williams

Libby Purves: An Adult Third Culture Kid?

A while ago I discovered that Colin Firth, the actor in the film King's Speech was a third culture kid. He grew up in Nigeria, the United States and England. I like reading stories of the lived of people who grew up abroad just like I did. Today I read an article in the Dutch newspaper the NRC about Libby Purves. I am always really interested when I discover that someone was a third culture kid too. As a diploma's daughter Libby grew up in Israel, Bangkok, South Africa, France and England.

I am impressed by all the different things Libby Purves does or has accomplished. Here I name a few:

1. She won a scholarship to St. Anne's College in Oxford.
2. She presents the program Midweek on BBC radio 4. In 1978 she became the youngest ever presenter of radio 4s Today programme.
3. She writes a column for The Times newspaper.
4. She has written a series of books on childcare. Her books on childcare and family life have been translated into eleven languages worldwide. Like the Spanish book "Cómo no ser una madre perfecta".
5. She has written eleven novels including Mother Country, and a travel book, One Summer's Grace, about a 1,700-mile sailing journey round Britain with children aged three and five. Here's a list of more books she has written.

I discovered that Libby has written a Personal Memoir called "Holy Smoke: Religion and Roots". 

This is the book description on Amazon:  
'Middle Age' writes Libby Purves 'is a fine high vantage point for looking back. The official passing of another thousand years away from Bethlehem is a stimulus to thinking about Christianity'. In this fascinating and very personal book she does both: recalling her childhood in convents around the world with stories of nuns amid the gilded temples of Bangkok, rations of beer for nine-year-olds after High Mass in France and convent life in South Africa at the height of apartheid. As adults many Catholic girls of this generation gave up on religion, embracing agnosticism and the Pill with equal enthusiasm. The author describes Oxford in the late '60s, political idealism and religious disillusion; and traces the encounters that have shaped her thinking, and how, ironically, the scandals in the Church brought her closer to her childhood faith.
This sounds like an interesting book. Has anyone read this personal memoir? 

I was surprised to discover that Libby Purves has battled with depression all her life. After her son committed suicide she wrote a novel on bereavement Shadow Child."There is no solution to grief".

Here are some general characteristics on third culture kids: education and career as found on Wikipedia. These statistics are for U.S. TCKs:

• TCKs are 4 times as likely as non-TCKs to earn a bachelor's degree (81% vs 21%)^[27]
• 40% earn an advanced degree (as compared to 5% of the non-TCK population.)^[21]
• 45% of TCKs attended three universities before attaining a degree.^[21]
• 44% earned undergraduate degree after the age of 22.^[21]
• Education, medicine, business management, self-employment, and highly-skilled positions are the most common professions for TCKs.^[21]
• TCKs are unlikely to work for big business, government, or follow their parents' career choices. "One won't find many TCKs in large corporations. Nor are there many in government ... they have not followed in parental footsteps".^[21]

^{The reason that I have added the statistics is because I am so impressed by all the different things Libby Puves has accomplished. It sounds like she is an ambitious and highly skilled person. I have read that many adult third culture kids are highly ambitious. Libby has had to battle depression all her life, it makes me wonder whether that has anything to do with her growing up as a third culture kid? I don't know, but it does make me wonder.}

Are you a highly ambitious adult third culture kid? Have you had to battle depression? Do you think it helps adult third culture kids to write about their youth?

Related posts:

• A Third Culture Kid Speaking: I'm not from Anywhere
• Cultural Identity Confusion and Third Culture Kids
• Who Am I? A Guest Poem by Third Culture Kid Marina Sofia
• Third Culture Kids Do you Dare To Be Green?

The Winner of the Book "Home Keeps Moving" by Heidi Sand-Hart

Flowers remind me of Africa

Last week it was my blog's first birthday and to celebrate that there was an interview with third culture kid, and author Heidi Sand-Hart and there was a possibility to win a free signed copy of Heidi's book: Home Keeps Moving. I like the book because it is a nice first hand account of the life of a third culture kid and of the challenges that can be faced. I promised that I would let you know who has won the copy of the book. By the way I believe that if you promise something then you have to do what you promised, so here comes:

The winner of the signed copy of the book Home Keeps Moving is: Julia Munroe Martin!
Congratulations Julia, I hope you enjoy the reading the book, it will be coming your way soon.

I "met" Julia online through twitter. I really enjoyed the first article I read by Julia. It's called: Word-by-word, scene-by-scene, chapter-by chapter a guest post on Emma Pass's blog. What it's like being a Third Culture Kid? Julia is American, she was born in France and grew up in Kenya, Africa. I am impressed because there were so many comments on this guest post.

You should read this post by Julia too: The Stories a Picture Can't Tell. I'm so glad that there are more writers and bloggers out there writing about being a third culture kid. Raising the awareness, you know it excites me.

I have just discovered this guest post on Milliver's Travels by Julia: Summer vacations at my grandma's house, Poland, Ohio. Moving around frequently as a child, she had no place she could call home. The closest she ever felt home was with her grandmother at her house in Poland, Ohio, on the banks of the Yellow Creek. Julia paints pictures with her words and there are lovely photo's there too. I encourage you to read the post. Just like Julia the family farm where my grandparent's lived in Friesland, the Netherlands feels a little like home to me. It has been a place I can always come back to. So even though grandparents may live many miles away they can still be of great importance to children growing up globally. I recently posted a guest blog by Libby Stephen's on: Grandparenting over the Seas.

By the way I have to confess that to choose the winner I did it the old fashioned way. My daughter had fun drawing a name out of a hat. She was excited about that. Thank you all for adding comments and joining in the competition. Thank you all for reading my blog, I am so happy that there are people reading what I write. Thank you Heidi for donating the book. As Heidi said if you did not win a signed copy you can buy a copy of the book and she will sign it for you! So the book written by adult third culture kid Heidi has been won by another author who is an adult third culture kid too! What fun. Lets keep on writing and telling the world the hidden stories within us.

Related Posts:

• Great third Culture Kid information on the web.
• Cultural Identity Confusion and third culture kids
• Third Culture Kids Learning to be Themselves

It's my blog's birthday! Let's celebrate with a giveaway and interview with Heidi Sand-Hart

A year ago I started writing this DrieCulturen blog. To celebrate this first birthday author Heidi Sand-Hart has agreed to an interview and has donated a signed copy of her book "Home Keeps Moving". Thank you so much Heidi. To participate in the giveaway leave a comment on this post (with your email or some way so that I can get in contact with you). Heidi her blog is: homekeepsmoving.blogspot.com. You can follow Heidi on twitter: @HomeKeepsMoving

1. In which countries did you live as a child and what age were you at the time?
England - born and lived off an on until I was 16, India - age 5 (off and on) until I was 18, Norway - 15-17 years old.

2. What was the reason that you were living abroad? If it was work, what kind of work did your parents do?
My parents were missionaries so that is the reason we lived between India and England all the time, for durations of 8 months - 2 years. My mother started 2 orphanages in South India for unwanted girls and my father taught but also researched different tribal groups.

3. Please tell us about your book "Home Keeps Moving". How old were you when you wrote the book?
“Home Keeps Moving” tells the story of growing up in many worlds due to moving frequently throughout my childhood. It gives a lot of insight into the many struggles and challenges that “Third Culture Kids” face with constantly leaving friends, homes and their familiar surroundings – of those trying to grasp an understanding of who they are and how they fit into their current society. I actually started writing "Home Keeps Moving" over years ten ago when I was 19 years old but realised the task was too overwhelming at the time. As I’ve gotten older, I have realised how exciting, colourful and unique my own childhood was and I wanted to share that with others.

4. Many people want to write a book someday, but you did it! Who was your inspiration and what was the key to your success?
I was inspired to write a book when I discovered there were hardly any personal accounts of growing up as a "Third Culture Kid" out there. There is the TCK bible (as it's referred to) but not a lot which actually tells the story first hand of constantly moving, adapting, transitioning…leaving friends, houses, pets, schools and starting all over again. I realised as I entered my early 20s how much my unusual upbringing had moulded me and wanted to reach out to others in the same place. I also hoped the book would be insightful to people from conventional backgrounds and can be used as a tool to understand their TCK friends/colleagues/spouses better. As for who inspired me to write it…conversations with my brother were the catalyst but I just had a desire within that wouldn't fade away so ten years down the line, I picked it up and gave it another go!

5. What's your advice for other TCKs or for anyone wanting to write a book?
Stick with it until the end! It seems like everyone has started writing a book at some stage of their lives but not many people complete them. It is tough going at times but make sure you surround yourself with supportive people and keep giving yourself goals to achieve.

6. Do you have any interesting new projects and the moment?
I do have one potential project in the pipeline at the moment but it isn't confirmed so I can't say too much. If it comes off, it will combine my passions - writing, travelling and orphanages -- so it would be a dream come true! Stay tuned to my blog for updates. Homekeepsmoving.blogspot.com :)

7. What did you most like about growing up abroad?
I loved spending so much of my childhood in India…a culture so completely opposite to my European heritage. It's colour, vibrancy, smells and smiles were captivating and I loved all the travelling and tropical holidays we had there. I loved the chaos and freedom…as a child, it felt like you could do anything since it's not ruled by laws like Northern Europe.

a) What was most difficult?
I suppose missing friends in England was the hardest thing and I remember missing sweets and food but we adapted quickly and had a rich life in India in different ways.

b) How did living abroad influence your choice of career or study?
Living in India and seeing the value of my mum's work (orphanages) birthed in me the desire to do something similar with my life. It seemed that all around me people had made unconventional choices with their lives and it gave me the boldness to not do traditional further education (university) but pursue my dreams instead.

c) Can you say something about your social network? In how many countries do you have friends?
Good Lord, that's a great question…one that I can't answer though! It must be close to a hundred countries for sure but don't hold me to that! Social networking sites (such as Facebook) have really helped me stay connected to dear friends around the world. It makes them feel closer even though I rarely get to see them in person.

d) Which languages do you speak? Do you have advice on learning languages for families living abroad now?
I speak English and Norwegian (limited) and a small mishmash of other languages. I studied French and German at school but unless you immerse yourself in the language, I don't think it sticks for as long. Growing up as a TCK is definitely the best opportunity to jump leaps ahead with languages…it's a great advantage.

e) When and where did you first hear of the term “third culture kid (TCK)? How did you hear of it and in which way did it help you?
I first heard the term "Third Culture Kid" as a 16 year old when I was living in India. My cousin had sent an article (by David Pollock) to my parents and it suddenly jumped out at me. I was extremely excited to know I belonged to this tribe and felt proud of my upbringing.

f) Do you have advice for TCKs or adult third culture kids (ATCK)?
Read as much as you can about TCKs so you can understand yourself better -- connect with other TCKs either in person or online and begin to process the results of your upbringing. Deal with any unresolved anger or bitterness you may have as a result because it will eat you up after a while. And focus on the many positives that such a diverse life has - embrace the uniqueness.

g) What characteristics have you developed or do you think you have developed because of growing up abroad?
A deep love and passion for travel and different cultures. I have a travel bug that can never be eradicated…the more I see, the more I realise there is to see. I love seeing and recognising the positives in both the European and Asian ways of life despite being opposite. The world isn't rigid, there is no right or wrong. We are just the result of the bubble we grew up in and luckily, my bubbles are many and large. TCKs generally have cultural awareness and can pick accents easily!   
 
h) Are there things related to growing up abroad that are difficult for you to this day?
I constantly miss the other side…the grass is always greener and when I'm in London, I constantly dream of being in Asia. When I've been there for a while, I usually romanticise London! The hardest thing is always having a part of you missing…

i) How was it to return to your “home country” (passport country)?
This one's tricky because my passport growing up was Norwegian but I was born in England and hadn't lived in Norway until I was 16. When I did move to Norway though as a teenager, it was a huge shock and very difficult time for me. I didn't fit in at all and actually wanted people to think I was English! I talk a lot about this in the book so I will leave it at that…

j) With which countries do you feel a bond? Where’s home?
The strongest bonds for me are definitely with India and England. Despite my parents both being Scandinavian (Finnish/Norwegian), I have never had an affinity with either of their countries because we didn't spend much time in either of them when I was a child. It was just summer holidays and we always thought upon England or India as "home". India lives in my blood, constantly calling me back. And England…it's the country of my birth, most of my early childhood memories and bonds occurred there and I have chosen to bond with it. I understand how everything works…the humour, the system, the people, the transport…but deep down, I still know that I'll never truly fit in. That's why I love London…it is so multicultural and you can be from anywhere in the world yet be accepted as a Londoner. For now, it's "home".

To participate in the giveaway leave a comment on this post (with your email or some way so that I can get in contact with you). The winner will be randomly selected. The deadline is Tuesday 19th of June 2012. The winner will be announced on Wednesday the 20th of June 2012. The competition is now closed. The winner of the book is: Julia Munroe Martin! Congratulations.

The Downside of Growing up Overseas as a Third Culture Kid

Today I was reading an article about The positives of growing up overseas as a third culture kid, it's on Maria's blog I was an expat wife. I agree there are many positive aspects about growing up in other cultures. Earlier I wrote about My 10 advantages of growing up in an other culture but there is a downside too. I sometimes I have a feeling that expat parents don't want to hear the downside. They don't want to hear the negatives. That's your story and I am sure with my kids it will all be different. I suppose we all prefer to look at the bright side of life. I suppose we all prefer to hope that the road we are on will be a smooth nice tarmac road without too many potholes. Well let me assure you when you leave the main road and start making international moves with kids you will meet some potholes along the way. I know what I am talking about when I talk about potholes, there were huge ones on the Zambian and Ugandan roads. Some times I preferred a smooth dust road instead of an old tarmac road full of potholes.

Just in case you are interested I have written about My 10 disadvantages of growing up in other cultures. I am starting to discover that there are more people who grew up as third culture kids and are writing about their experiences. I will introduce you to a few.

1. James R. Mitchner writes a blog called Third Culture Kid Life. He has a blog post called The Price We Pay and it's all about growing up far away from his grandmother and not actually really knowing her.
2. Heidi Sand-Hart has written a book called: Home Keeps Moving. It's worth reading if you are interested in getting a glimpse into the life of a TCK.                                                                                                                                         “Heidi Sand-Hart’s “Home Keeps Moving” authenticates the TCK experience. Her personal stories demonstrate the tangible reality of the TCK theories we have been reading and hearing about for years.” – Tina L Quick, author of The Global Nomad's Guide to University Transition.
3. Wout Wynants writes a blog called Memoirs of a Third Culture Kid. He is in the process of writing a book about his adventures of growing up in South East Asia. Recently he wrote about his close encounters of the slithering kind. It's all about his exotic adventures with snakes. That's one thing that's true. When you grow up overseas you go on adventures that many have difficulty relating to and people often don't want to hear about. I find it quite strange, but true not everyone wants to hear your story.
4. Hey it's Johnny C has a blog and writes about his experiences growing up as a third culture kid too.

 Sorry to talk about the potholes along the way but it is better to be prepared than to be sorry.

Related posts:   

• Re-entry into your passport country
• Third culture kids going to university 
• Cultural identity confusion and third culture kids
• Third culture kids learning their mother tongue

Guest blog by An African Gypsy: A story of an Adult Third culture kid

I was born in ex-Yugoslavia in the 1960’s. My divorced mother met a Sudanese student of Agriculture when I was five. Later, they got married and we moved: first to Iraq then Libya and traveled extensively by car through Turkey, Greece, and Egypt.

When I was twelve we settled in Khartoum, Sudan where I attended a Catholic school for girls and lived on a farm by the Nile. Sudan was a melting pot comprised of Coptics, Syrians, Greeks, Egyptians, Lebanese, numerous Sudanese tribes as well as the expat community. An entire generation of multiethnic and multifaith children.

There was something exhilarating and never monotonous about having all these customs, cultures and beliefs blend in one place, constantly something new to learn. Bewitched by the music, folklore and language of each country I have visited or lived in, I still love applying the intricate patterns of Henna and wearing the colourful Tobe. (A garment indigenous to Sudan that is draped around the body and worn loosely over the head) My favorite facet of such a lifestyle was accepting everyone equally. Colour, race or faith made no difference to me. Most people I grew up with were mixed race including my siblings who are also Muslim.

On the farm in Sudan

Even though I loved Africa I missed my grandparents, my father and my hometown. Also, I didn’t fit into any of the existing *categories* in the Sudan. I was not half Sudanese as many of my friends were and I was not an expat child whose parents worked for embassies and foreign companies. I grew up immersed in a Sudanese household, with a Sudanese stepfamily and half African siblings but my outer appearance didn’t fit my colloquial Arabic dialect or my unconsciously native mannerisms. Little children would run after me on the street giggling and shouting, “Halabiya” (Gypsy) due to my fair skin. (In Sudan, people from a gypsy origin are lighter skinned) Or they called me “Khawagiya”. Foreigner. It didn’t feel good.

As I get older, my birthplace, my hometown of Osijek by the Drava River tugs at my heart more urgently. I get emotional over Balkan songs and jokes. I miss the aroma of local bread, the delicate peaches, and chestnuts in the winter...the fields of sunflowers. On the other hand, the magnificent Nile, the scent of mangoes and jasmine and the rhythm of African drums call me just as powerfully.

Nowadays, I live in Dubai, interacting with people from 198 nationalities. Listening to the soothing echoes from a host of languages intrigues me in countless ways. Here, I blend in.

This interest in multiculture has led me to pen stories about individuals who are displaced, then thrown together in a culturally alien setting and how that changes them. My novel ‘Dubai Wives’ follows the lives of eight women from ethnically, culturally and religiously diverse backgrounds and their transformative journey in the glamorous metropolis of Dubai, a place as intricate and complex as the woven threads of a beautiful carpet.

Through all my writing and inner self searching I have realized that I will probably never be completely content in any one place, cursed and blessed by the countless forces that  have shaped me.

Good sites for third culture kids: http://www.tckworld.com/ and the Global Nomads Group. 

                                         ******************************************** 

Thank you Zvezdana Rashkovich for your guest blog! It's my honour. Zvezdana is author of the novel Dubai Wives. On her website www.zvezdanarashkovich.com you can find more information. We met on twitter @SleeplessinDubai in 2011. We have in common that we both grew up in Africa and are both (adult) third culture kids.