The Winner is a Third Culture Kid living in Norway

I promised to let you know today who the winner was of the Christmas Giveaway 2012. Well the winner of a signed copy the book Fly Away Home by Maggie Mykleburst is a Dutch third culture kid Mama T, she is living in Norway, just like the author of the book. Congratulations Mama T! Please send me your email address or leave it in the comment so that I can contact you. Thanks again to Maggie for donating the book and agreeing to the interview.

Oliebollen and appelflappen by DrieCulturen

While I am writing this post I can hear the sound of fireworks, as midnight comes closer the noise will increase. It's raining outside now, not ideal weather for fireworks. Traditionally we shoot carbide on the last day of the year. Have you ever heard of it? I wrote about carbide shooting a year ago. Last year I was on our family farm in Friesland watching and listening to the carbide explosions in the milk cans. This year I am at home and we will eat home oliebollen and appelflappen. Some kind of oil dumpling and an oil dumpling filled with apple. When I grew up in Africa I still remember eating oliebollen on the shores of Lake Malawi. The oliebollen were cooked on a wooden stove, quite a task but it resulted in great memories of Dutch traditions abroad.

I hope you all enjoy your new year's eve and I wish you a rich multicultural new year where ever you are and where ever you will be going!

(Mama T you can send me an email at drieculturen@gmail.com thanks).

A Christmas Giveaway "Fly Away Home"

Maggie Mykleburst is the author of the book "Fly Away Home". It's actually a great title for a giveaway at this time of year. Isn't it what we all want to do at Christmas: fly home! Sometimes the question is where's home? Maggie was born and raised on the Jersey Shore. She is married to a Norwegian and they have lived as expats in Houston and the Netherlands.

The giveaway is a signed copy of Maggie's book, it will be send to you.Thank you so much Maggie for providing the giveaway and for answering my questions. I really enjoyed reading the answers, I hope you do too. To enter the giveaway leave a comment at the end of this post before the 31st of December 2012. I will draw a name from a hat and publish the name of the winner here on the blog on the 31st. The competition is closed now.

What was the reason that you were living abroad?
I’m actually still living abroad. I was born in the US and moved to Norway with my three children in 1988. I married a Norwegian and had two more children. My husbands job took us to Houston in 2005, where I became an expat in my own country. In 2007 we moved to the Netherlands, in 2010 we returned Norway.

Please tell us about your book "Fly Away Home".
Fly Away home is a memoir of my life. It starts before I was born, with my grandmother’s struggle to leave Norway and move to America. Years later, in a cruel twist of fate, I was forced to flee America with three young children and relocate in Norway. The story continues as I strive to find identity, happiness and love. 

What inspired you to write your book?
I was inspired by the need to tell my side of what is at times, a very complicated story. To explain to my children and to future generations of my family the decisions I made, and why I made them.

Many people want to write a book someday, but you did it! Who was your inspiration and what was the key to your success?
It started with scrapbooking, putting the events of my life together with pictures. I wasn’t a writer, but I knew I had a story to tell. Then while living in the Netherlands, I attended a ‘Write Your Life Stories’ class, which definitely helped put me on course.

What's your advice for other people or third culture kids wanting to write a book?
Don’t pressure yourself. Make an outline of your story and then take it one chapter at a time. You’ll be surprised how memories come flooding back. I had to keep a pad and pencil with me at all times.(If you don’t write things down on the spot, there’s a good chance they’ll disappear) Don’t get yourself tied up with trying to write like a professional, let it flow naturally. Later, a good editor can help you polish it up and it’s not as hard as you think to self publish.

Do you have any interesting new projects and the moment?
I’m taking an advanced writing class in Norwegian, who knows maybe someday I’ll be able to translate my own book into another language. (Big dream)

What did you most like about living abroad?
What was most difficult?
I’ll start with the most difficult... Learning to talk Norwegian! I only lived in the Netherlands for three years and didn’t feel the need to learn the language. But I’ve made Norway my home and my husband is Norwegian, so learning the language was a must.
What I like most about living abroad is all the new people I’ve met and the different experiences I’ve had.

How did living abroad influence your choice of career or study?
There would most likely be no book if I had not left America, since my book is mostly about having to start over. I probably wouldn’t have studied Norwegian either.

You parented cross-culture kids, what was that like?
After moving to Norway in 1988, my three older children had to spend summers in America with their father and that was hard. Two of those children moved back to America after finishing school, so now I have children in two countries. MY two youngest children were born in Norway, but after living in the Netherlands for three years they had difficulties readjusting to the move home. All of my children like to travel, they have compassion for others, an interest that extends beyond borders and a variety of friends from different cultures. I’m proud to be the mother of five, cross-culture kids.

Which languages do you speak? Do you have advice on learning languages for families living abroad now?
I speak English, Norwegian and can read a Dutch menu (hehe). If you’re living in a country temporarily and have the time, its always good to learn a new language. If you’ve made a new country your permanent home, then in order to fit in, I think it’s important to learn the language.

Do you have advice for families with children making international moves?
Listen and be supportive, but chances are they’ll adjust to their new surroundings faster than you. Mine went to school, joined sports and made new friends before I knew my way around the grocery store.
 
When and where did you first hear of the term “third culture kid (TCK)? How did you hear of it?
My children had very little trouble adjusting to living abroad, the problem for us came when it was time to move home again. They didn’t want to leave their ‘new’ life. It broke my heart when my son told me he no longer felt like a Norwegian or an American and that his ‘home’ was in the Netherlands. In looking for information to help, I came across the phrase ‘third culture kid‘ and was amazed by what I’d read. My son still refers to himself as a citizen of the world instead of a Norwegian or an American.
 
Do you have advice for TCKs or adult third culture kids (ATCKs
Although I think its great to consider yourself a citizen of the world, I still think its important to know where you come from. To feel a sense of pride and belonging to your passport country.

What characteristics have you developed or do you think you have developed due to living abroad?
Living and traveling far from home has definitely made me more adventurous and self reliant. It has also taught me to be more openminded and respectful of people from other cultures.

How was it to return to your “home country”?
This is a tricky question for me to answer. Although I’m American and proud of it, Norway is my home country now. Its where my house is, its where I live and it felt good to return.

With which countries do you feel a bond? Where’s home?
I feel a bond with the Netherlands, I will always be an American and Norway is my home.

Seeing as you lived in the Netherlands too: what is your funniest memory of the Netherlands? Anything you miss from here?
The first week we were there I was tired, cold (we had just come from Texas) and confused (didn’t know my way around or anything about Holland). With our kitchen supplies still in boxes, we took the children to McDonalds for dinner one evening. After receiving our order and finding a table, we started to eat. Realizing the girl had forgotten to give us ketchup and not seeing a self serve station, I went back and asked for some.
Me: “Could I have some ketchup, please?”
Her: “How many packets would you like?”
Me: “I don’t know, just give me a handful.”
Her: “Okay, that will be two euro’s please.”
Me: “What?! I have to pay for Ketchup?!”
Her: “Yes, 25 cents each.”
I paid the girl, went back to our table and start yelling at my husband (like a loud American) “Can you believe I had to pay for Ketchup? I’ve never paid for a ketchup packet before. What kind of country is this?!”

What I miss most about the Netherlands is riding my bike everywhere (here in Norway there are few bike paths and lots of mountains). I also miss buying fresh cut flowers every week (here in Norway flowers are mostly imported and therefore expensive). I miss the tulip fields in the spring and the park (De Horsten) which was directly across the street from where we lived. I miss shopping in the Hague, the market in Leiden, the beach in Scheveningen and the charm of Wassenaar. I miss everything (except paying for ketchup, hehe). Luckily I still have friends there and visit quite often.
Thank you!

If you are interested there is more information on Maggie's website www.flyawayhomebook.com. You can find her on twitter too @flyawayhomebook. The competition is closed. The winner is a  Dutch third culture kid living in Norway.

Related Posts

• Interview with Heidi Sand-Hart author of "Home Keeps Moving"
• Guest blog by Libby Stephens: Grandparenting over the seas
• Cultural identity confusion and third culture kids
• Food for thought on raising kids abroad!

It's my blog's birthday! Let's celebrate with a giveaway and interview with Heidi Sand-Hart

A year ago I started writing this DrieCulturen blog. To celebrate this first birthday author Heidi Sand-Hart has agreed to an interview and has donated a signed copy of her book "Home Keeps Moving". Thank you so much Heidi. To participate in the giveaway leave a comment on this post (with your email or some way so that I can get in contact with you). Heidi her blog is: homekeepsmoving.blogspot.com. You can follow Heidi on twitter: @HomeKeepsMoving

1. In which countries did you live as a child and what age were you at the time?
England - born and lived off an on until I was 16, India - age 5 (off and on) until I was 18, Norway - 15-17 years old.

2. What was the reason that you were living abroad? If it was work, what kind of work did your parents do?
My parents were missionaries so that is the reason we lived between India and England all the time, for durations of 8 months - 2 years. My mother started 2 orphanages in South India for unwanted girls and my father taught but also researched different tribal groups.

3. Please tell us about your book "Home Keeps Moving". How old were you when you wrote the book?
“Home Keeps Moving” tells the story of growing up in many worlds due to moving frequently throughout my childhood. It gives a lot of insight into the many struggles and challenges that “Third Culture Kids” face with constantly leaving friends, homes and their familiar surroundings – of those trying to grasp an understanding of who they are and how they fit into their current society. I actually started writing "Home Keeps Moving" over years ten ago when I was 19 years old but realised the task was too overwhelming at the time. As I’ve gotten older, I have realised how exciting, colourful and unique my own childhood was and I wanted to share that with others.

4. Many people want to write a book someday, but you did it! Who was your inspiration and what was the key to your success?
I was inspired to write a book when I discovered there were hardly any personal accounts of growing up as a "Third Culture Kid" out there. There is the TCK bible (as it's referred to) but not a lot which actually tells the story first hand of constantly moving, adapting, transitioning…leaving friends, houses, pets, schools and starting all over again. I realised as I entered my early 20s how much my unusual upbringing had moulded me and wanted to reach out to others in the same place. I also hoped the book would be insightful to people from conventional backgrounds and can be used as a tool to understand their TCK friends/colleagues/spouses better. As for who inspired me to write it…conversations with my brother were the catalyst but I just had a desire within that wouldn't fade away so ten years down the line, I picked it up and gave it another go!

5. What's your advice for other TCKs or for anyone wanting to write a book?
Stick with it until the end! It seems like everyone has started writing a book at some stage of their lives but not many people complete them. It is tough going at times but make sure you surround yourself with supportive people and keep giving yourself goals to achieve.

6. Do you have any interesting new projects and the moment?
I do have one potential project in the pipeline at the moment but it isn't confirmed so I can't say too much. If it comes off, it will combine my passions - writing, travelling and orphanages -- so it would be a dream come true! Stay tuned to my blog for updates. Homekeepsmoving.blogspot.com :)

7. What did you most like about growing up abroad?
I loved spending so much of my childhood in India…a culture so completely opposite to my European heritage. It's colour, vibrancy, smells and smiles were captivating and I loved all the travelling and tropical holidays we had there. I loved the chaos and freedom…as a child, it felt like you could do anything since it's not ruled by laws like Northern Europe.

a) What was most difficult?
I suppose missing friends in England was the hardest thing and I remember missing sweets and food but we adapted quickly and had a rich life in India in different ways.

b) How did living abroad influence your choice of career or study?
Living in India and seeing the value of my mum's work (orphanages) birthed in me the desire to do something similar with my life. It seemed that all around me people had made unconventional choices with their lives and it gave me the boldness to not do traditional further education (university) but pursue my dreams instead.

c) Can you say something about your social network? In how many countries do you have friends?
Good Lord, that's a great question…one that I can't answer though! It must be close to a hundred countries for sure but don't hold me to that! Social networking sites (such as Facebook) have really helped me stay connected to dear friends around the world. It makes them feel closer even though I rarely get to see them in person.

d) Which languages do you speak? Do you have advice on learning languages for families living abroad now?
I speak English and Norwegian (limited) and a small mishmash of other languages. I studied French and German at school but unless you immerse yourself in the language, I don't think it sticks for as long. Growing up as a TCK is definitely the best opportunity to jump leaps ahead with languages…it's a great advantage.

e) When and where did you first hear of the term “third culture kid (TCK)? How did you hear of it and in which way did it help you?
I first heard the term "Third Culture Kid" as a 16 year old when I was living in India. My cousin had sent an article (by David Pollock) to my parents and it suddenly jumped out at me. I was extremely excited to know I belonged to this tribe and felt proud of my upbringing.

f) Do you have advice for TCKs or adult third culture kids (ATCK)?
Read as much as you can about TCKs so you can understand yourself better -- connect with other TCKs either in person or online and begin to process the results of your upbringing. Deal with any unresolved anger or bitterness you may have as a result because it will eat you up after a while. And focus on the many positives that such a diverse life has - embrace the uniqueness.

g) What characteristics have you developed or do you think you have developed because of growing up abroad?
A deep love and passion for travel and different cultures. I have a travel bug that can never be eradicated…the more I see, the more I realise there is to see. I love seeing and recognising the positives in both the European and Asian ways of life despite being opposite. The world isn't rigid, there is no right or wrong. We are just the result of the bubble we grew up in and luckily, my bubbles are many and large. TCKs generally have cultural awareness and can pick accents easily!   
 
h) Are there things related to growing up abroad that are difficult for you to this day?
I constantly miss the other side…the grass is always greener and when I'm in London, I constantly dream of being in Asia. When I've been there for a while, I usually romanticise London! The hardest thing is always having a part of you missing…

i) How was it to return to your “home country” (passport country)?
This one's tricky because my passport growing up was Norwegian but I was born in England and hadn't lived in Norway until I was 16. When I did move to Norway though as a teenager, it was a huge shock and very difficult time for me. I didn't fit in at all and actually wanted people to think I was English! I talk a lot about this in the book so I will leave it at that…

j) With which countries do you feel a bond? Where’s home?
The strongest bonds for me are definitely with India and England. Despite my parents both being Scandinavian (Finnish/Norwegian), I have never had an affinity with either of their countries because we didn't spend much time in either of them when I was a child. It was just summer holidays and we always thought upon England or India as "home". India lives in my blood, constantly calling me back. And England…it's the country of my birth, most of my early childhood memories and bonds occurred there and I have chosen to bond with it. I understand how everything works…the humour, the system, the people, the transport…but deep down, I still know that I'll never truly fit in. That's why I love London…it is so multicultural and you can be from anywhere in the world yet be accepted as a Londoner. For now, it's "home".

To participate in the giveaway leave a comment on this post (with your email or some way so that I can get in contact with you). The winner will be randomly selected. The deadline is Tuesday 19th of June 2012. The winner will be announced on Wednesday the 20th of June 2012. The competition is now closed. The winner of the book is: Julia Munroe Martin! Congratulations.